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Hegives a small, knowing smile. “WhatcanIsay?Ilike my pussy committed.”

Somehow, even in the middle of role-play that teeters on the edge of jealousy,Zakknows the right thing to say. “God, you’re so fucking hot,”Imurmur as my arms slip around his shoulders. “Howabout a signature for your biggest fan, then?”

Hislips brush over mine. “Whereyou want it?”

Myfingertips run across my breast, just under theVof my shirt’s neckline. “Righthere.”

Hegives me a quick kiss before leaning over and grabbing aSharpiefrom the desk behind us.Itpops softly when he uncaps it.

Ihook my finger over the neckline and pull it down so low that the deep pink of my nipple peeks out.Satisfactionsettles in my core asZakglances at it, throat sliding at the sight.

Whenhe refocuses, he brings theSharpieto the pale swell of my breast, squiggling his signature over what’s already his.Hepauses to admire it before leaning down to kiss the tender flesh just above his signature.

“Howabout you make love to your rock star girlfriend instead of fucking a pretend groupie?”Iask with a smirk.

Hescoops me up in his arms, taking me to bed. “Allnight long, babe.”

Chapter33

“Gunslinger”

–Avenged Sevenfold

OurLadyofGuadalupeParishCemeteryspans from the road to the church, all the way to a wide gravel path that loops around the back of the church a few hundred feet away.Itisn’t a large cemetery, but it is a popular one that theRamosfamily is all too familiar with.

Ihad flowers delivered to their graves lastDecember—the nineteenth, to be exact—so those are long gone.Judgingby the dead and brown flowers in the built-in vase that sits on the left aboveLupe, it’s been a little while since someone has visited.

“I’msorry they didn’t have any sunflowers,”Iapologize to her asIremove the dead flowers and replace them with a fresh bouquet. “ButIknow you like yellow roses, too.Hopethese are okay.Ithink they’re pretty.”

Ismile at the plastic-covered portrait of her and her husband bolted to the middle of their shared headstone.Shewears a sunflower necklace with a bright beam plastered to her face as she holdsSunny’shands.Hiscowboy hat and bolo tie over a pearl snap button-up makes me smile wider.WhenIblink,Ican still hear her laugh ringing through their kitchen, the smell of her famous salsa roja wafting through the house;Ican still peer around the corner and findSunnyteasing her, grabbing her butt when he thinks the kids aren’t looking before enveloping her in a big hug, whispering sweet nothings to her inSpanishand sealing it with a kiss.

“I’msorry it’s been so long sinceIlast visited,”Isay softly. “I…Idid something terrible, and…IthoughtIwas doing the right thing leaving…”

Mynose scrunches, willing the tears already forming to dissipate.Maybeit’s silly talking to my ex-boyfriend’s and sancho’s dead parents at their graves, butSunnyandLupealways made me feel likeIwas their daughter, too—Icould always talk to them about anything.

“Everything’sa mess, and a lot of it’s my fault,”Iadmit to them.Iscoff. “And, the stupid thing is,Ikeep making it worse.Iprobably madeKrisfeel so much worse about what she was forced to become, and it wasn’t even her fault.A-and now she’s leftShannonbecause she’s scared, andIdon’t know what to do or how to help.”

Carspass by on the road, and the church’s organ drones dully through the brick asImull over the royal mess we’re in.

Myfingertips swipe away a stray tear.

“I’mso mad atAdrian,”Iwhisper. “I’mso fucking mad, andIdon’t understand why becauseIshouldn’t care.AndZak…”Iswallow the growing lump in my throat. “He’sthe one who killed me, andI’mscared of whatIcould do to him.”

Somethingred darts across my vision.WhenIblink,Ifind a cardinal perched on the headstone—right aboveLupe.

Asmall, tearful laugh passes my lips. “You’vegotta be kidding me.”

Thecardinal warbles boisterously, as ifLupeherself is saying, “Nope,I’mright here, mija!”

Hearingher words in my mind makes my face crumple. “God,Imiss you so much.Everyonemisses you so freaking much.”

Shechirps and chirps, like she is talking while perched atop a grave.Ifthis cardinal thinksIspeak bird, then it’s sorely mistaken, but maybe it isLupe’sspirit come to tweet some comfort to me.

I’mnot sure how long she trills, butIlisten until her voice peters out.

It’sthenIrealize the organ had been humming from the church and stopped right before the bird did.

Chucklingto myself,Idab my cheeks a little drier.Sillylittle thing just wanted to sing with the church.