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Hedevours me like a starving man who’s sat down for a full buffet, his tongue relentlessly lashing out to consume me inside and out.

Orgasmwracks my core so roughly thatIcramp up and tears spring in my eyes. “Plum!”

Adrianstops, unlocks his arms from around my thighs, and pushes me off his face.Ifall limply to the floor, sweaty skin sticking to the cool tile that hurts more than helps.

Heavybreathing covers the ring of a silent house until it calms.

“Wereyou playing up the moment, or are you serious?”

“Huh?”

“Aboutyou being my girlfriend.”

Ihuff loudly, biting back a groan asIrub my forehead.

“Sothat’s it, huh?” he starts loudly as he sits up to glare at me.Hismouth and cheeks glisten. “Thesecond you seeZak, you’re gonna leave me in the dust, but when his back is turned, you’ll fuck me, no problem.GodforbidItry to make something more out of what’s going on between us.”

Isit straight up and cross my arms over my bare chest. “Ilove him,”Iyell. “Evenafter everything that’s happened,Istill love him.”

“Whathappened to you wantingme?” he bellows incredulously asIget up from the floor to search for clothes, voice pitching.

Ispin around to return his glower. “IfI’mstuck between the guy who’s gonna eat me and the guy who is the literal fucking devil, what makes you thinkI’llchoose either of you?”

He’seerily quiet asIput on the rest of my clothes, butIdon’t bother looking at him.

Whenmy hand touches the cool metal of the front door, he speaks. “You’rea fucking bitch.”

Isnort asIremain facing the door. “Whatfor now?”

“You’reno better than me, using someone to get off and leaving a trail of broken hearts behind you.”

Ichuckle lifelessly and, finally,Iturn around.

He’sslipped on his shorts and has his arms crossed, watching me with daggers in his eyes.

“Whythe hell do you want me to be your girlfriend so bad?Youcan’t parade me around at family functions without everyone knowing our dirty secret, thatIcheated on oneRamostwin with the other and that your girlfriend is a fucking whore for you both.”Itoss my hands into the air. “Youwant aRamosslut?Thenyou’ve got one whether you like it or not ’cause sluts keep their options open.”

Adrianstands there, gaping asIslam the door shut behind me.

Chapter14

“The Pain Remains I: Dancing Like Flames”

–Lorna Shore

Prayerhums through the church,echoing from the ambo to the choir loft in the back.Oneof theRamoscousins recites the rosary—someone who can lead the prayer without breaking down into uncontrollable tears.Someoneblows their nose; another cries softly.ThetissueIclutch to my nose is soaked through, and more tears fall.

IwishIcould be in the front pew next toZakandAdrian, to hold them both and tell them everything will be okay, butI’mnot family.Shannonis up there beside them, embracingKrisand her five-month pregnant belly.

Theirparents lie in repose in the caskets before the altar.

Thetwins will graduate without their mom and dad watching them walk the stage.Kriswill give birth without her mom to help her.KrisandShannon’sbaby girl will grow up without her abuela and abuelo.

SunnyandLupeRamosaren’t here, and all of southsideSanAntoniomourns.

Anusher in a black suit stands by our pew, gesturing for us to approach the caskets and say our final goodbyes.Dadis the first to rise and takes my hand, leading me toward the altar.

Momstares at her closest friends with tears spilling onto her cheeks before falling to the kneeler in front of one casket.Hershoulders shake with a heavy sob.