Page 64 of Witchblood
“Soulbonded.” Wrapped around each other so neatly I wondered if I could breathe without him. Yet still, something separated us. An invisible barrier of some sort. Maybe there was still a chance to save him.
“Carl,” I suddenly thought of a question I’d been stewing on before bed. Distraction. I was good at that. I needed him, while wanting so badly to run from everything. My heart couldn’t take another break. Not like this. Was it even possible to separate a mated pair and not go mad? “Was mated.”
“Yes,” Liam agreed.
“But she’s gone and he’s still here.” Was that even possible.Apacould survive, maybe. He was the strongest werewolf alive, but just an ordinary wolf? Carl didn’t seem crazy. Just a little anti-social. Well anti-people if Liam’s observation agreed with reality.
“Yes. He’ll tell you every day he regrets surviving. I think he’s still here because he’s got shit to do yet. He says he can’t imagine losing his Emma to be my second was much of a brilliant plan of fate. He was in your father’s pack waiting for his turn to be put down. Yet when I offered a place in my pack, he agreed. I wanted to know all about mating. Your father wouldn’t talk. Both Oberon and Jayson were good at deflecting your father’s attention away from his lost mate and he lost her centuries ago. Carl lost his Emma less than five years ago. I thought he had to know more.” Liam traced his fingertips over my face. “He warned me it’s not the same for any two mates, while being overwhelming for every single one of them.”
The answer stumped me. Carl had been mated. She’d passed, but he was still here. Sane. Sane enough at least to be allowed to move to a pack outside ofApa’s at least. That said something about Carl’s state of mind. No wolf could fool the Volkov.
“They were true mates?” Like us? Liam was strong, right? He’d survive being stuck with me a few years.
“Yes,” Liam agreed. “Mated over a hundred years.”
“That’s not possible. Was she a wolf too?”
“No. Human. He thinks his life extended hers. Has a picture of her before she passed. She didn’t look older than forty. Lost a battle with cancer.” Liam looked into my eyes, searching for something. “He didn’t have a pack. He’d been exiled for mating a human. Everyone was just waiting for him to die.”
Only he hadn’t. He’d beaten the odds. Had a mate for over a hundred years. It was sort of good news. “That means you won’t die when I do.”
“Not true,” Liam said. “There would be no point for me to live without you.”
I stared up at him. “Do you realize what you’re stuck with?” Was he hearing anything I said to him?
“A beautiful yet infuriating man who was not taught that his true self-worth is his heart?”
I frowned at him. “Don’t go all Hallmark card on me. I’m trying to help you realize I’m not all the balloons and the little stuffed animal too. I’m more like the rubber snake in a box of confetti that sends people screamingLord Jesus have mercy!An unwanted surprise.”
Liam laughed. “You’re not just funny after sex. Good.”
I smacked his shoulder. “I’m being totally serious.”
“Self-deprecation aside, I want you. All your quirks, included. I’m glad you’re funny. Your father never mentioned your sense of humor. I was a little afraid that life had beaten it out of you as it does to us old wolves.” He hugged me tight, then loosened his grip.
“When I became a wolf, that first pack had a mated pair. I dreamt of having what they had. The way he’d look at her and she’d look at him. They were everything to each other. Saw the world through each other’s eyes. When she passed, so did he.”
“I heard that happens a lot.”
“It doesn’t. True mates aren’t that common. A handful of wolves among thousands experience true mates. Just like in the human world, so few find true love. And often, like storybooks of legends, it ends tragically, ending up as the story that everyone repeats. Never mind the others who went quietly into the night after a long happy life.”
“But all the couples you know who were true mates are dead or separated because one of them is dead,” I said. “That doesn’t not scream happily ever after to me. What if I’ve made your life shorter by letting you mate me? Or if you go mad after I die?”
“I will take that risk. I will take every moment from now until the sunsets upon our time together to enjoy your presence in my life. I can’t wait to learn everything about you.” He let out a long sigh. He wrapped his ankles around my legs, cradling me tight against him, while still managing to keep me from feeling confined. “You’re so afraid of losing someone, of your heart being hurt again, that you’re terrified to let yourself feel joy or hope.” He let out a long sigh. “YourApadid not protect you well from trauma. He really wasn’t well enough to raise you. Should have found another, much more stable pack. The Volkov’s pack is not known for being a sanctuary for anything but the suicidal wolves. I blame him. He could have had Oberon take you somewhere else. You should not be so cynical of the world at such a young age.”
“I wouldn’t be me if I were innocent and trusting. I never would have found my way here. If you’re looking for Susie Homemaker because I’m an omega, you’ve been bamboozled.”
He laughed again. “Totally bamboozled. The fact that you left me unconscious in the woods just steps from your father’s backyard was the first indication you weren’t going to be the submissive mate most alphas salivate over.”
“Assholes,” I agreed.
“Good thing I’m not most alphas.”
“Do they get that submissive mates aren’t all that fun? Do this, do that, yes sir. Well that’s boring.” I pointed out. “Would they show up at your work in the middle of the day to surprise you with sex? Probably not.”
“Would you?” Liam wanted to know.
“Maybe. If not sex, then at least to share a cupcake.”