Page 35 of Witchblood

Would being his mate mean I had a say in those decisions? With Felix that had been a definite no. Most alphas treated omegas and mates like something to be sheltered and protected. Liam did try to throw his weight around, giving orders and such, but he didn’t really make them stick. His words might not have the full whammy power on me that they did on others, but any alpha could compel anyone to obey. Just because I didn’t have to obey, didn’t mean I didn’t feel the pull of it. Liam pushed, but not so hard that it felt he was stripping me of my will. Not like I imagined most alphas would treat their omega mates.

Mates. What the hell was I thinking? I couldn’t mate with Liam. There were just so many things wrong with the idea. He was an alpha wolf. I wasn’t even a werewolf. I was a guy and a mutt with some messed up lineage. He was a successful businessman, and I was a homeless wanderer running from my past.

The morning had been peaceful. The first time in a long time I could recall just being okay with myself and my surroundings. The panic in my head quieted finally and just let me breathe. I’d worked without analyzing everyone and their reaction to me. For a few hours I’d feltnormal. And just thinking about it made the weight of fear return to my chest. Fear of when the quiet would end and the world would erupt into chaos again. I’d been running for so long from the voices in my head that I’d forgotten they were just voices. But thinking about them made the panic well up in my gut, physical sensations running through me just as much as the mental ones did.

I put my hand to my chest as the familiar weight of anxiety rose and worked hard on my breathing. Online courses taught me some basics in anxiety management, but having a little security and less stress would help so much more. Staying with Liam had dangerous appeal. But if I stayed just to use him to fight off the demons in my own head, what was I really doing for either of us?

Sometimes I wished my metaphysical gifts ran a bit more to precognition. Sadly, like everyone else in the world I stumbled my way through bad judgment after bad judgment. It was hard to weigh a decision when I felt like I kept making all the wrong ones. Running always seemed easier, if a lot lonelier.

I wandered toward the edge of the building, trying to focus on something positive, like maybe the bakery expansion. Even if I didn’t stay, I could offer Liam the ideas. He could take or leave them as he wanted. In the meantime, it was something to focus on that didn’t have me dwelling in my shadowed past.

There was space for an outdoor area when the weather was nice. The cool breeze caressed my skin with the scent of the bakery and coffee. An expanse of grass stretched out for several yards between the bakery and the next building, green and lush. It would be a tragedy to let people trample on the grass that someone had worked so hard to thrive. Maybe a small section of pavers, or a minor expansion into the parking lot. Not that it mattered. The empty part of the building might belong to someone else completely.

I turned to head back inside and caught the glimpse of something moving across the edge of my vision, which, of course, made me look. A small boy flashed me a devious grin before opening a side door and disappearing into the empty building. For a minute I thought, wow, weird that someone working on it would let their kid just run around like that. Only it wasn’t just any kid. The almost white hair, which could have doubled as spider silk, and translucent skin, gave him away. It’d been a while since I’d seen him like that, and it took just that long for me to realize what I was seeing. But when I did, I stalked for the door, almost expecting it to be locked.

“Robin!” I called as the door swung inward. “You best not be breaking into other people’s places. You’ll get us kicked off this land, and I don’t have a way to move the camper.” Plus, I didn’t really want to go. Not yet. I sort of wanted to see if Liam was for real. If I had to leave the camper again, it meant leaving Robin again. I wondered if this was payback of some kind. Maybe he was mad because I’d been gone for so long. The fae were like that sometimes, their rational a bit skewed. He could get back at me by making me run, but that would only hurt him. I didn’t really want to leave him again.

“Robin? Please don’t play games,” I said. “I just want to rest a while. A few days at least. Please.” A chance to find out if Liam was for real. Could a fox mate with a wolf? Was this all just an elaborate dream? If so, was it created by the vampire or perhaps the fairy? Was I still asleep in my camper? My head spun with questions as I followed the possibilities inside in pursuit of answers.

Light filtered through the paper over the windows to cast a gray shadow on the space. A long counter with a bar like space covered in a thick slab of wood took up a large part of the room, and an entire sink area behind it was carved out in stainless steel. There were empty narrow shelves that lined the walls as though waiting for tea tins to fill their length. No chairs or actual appliances had been placed. Perhaps they’d just finished the plumbing. The open space left enough room for several tables and chairs along the covered windows. It did look a little like a tea shop might look if it was attached to a bakery, but that could also have been wishful thinking on my part.

No sign of Robin.

He wasn’t in the store room, or either of the bathrooms. Would I get in trouble for being in here? There were permits taped to part of the window. I’d seen them from outside and could make out the outline near the front door. Construction permits, but where were the workers? Maybe they didn’t work during the peak bakery hours to minimize noise and dust? Either way I decided it was a good idea to get the hell out before I got found somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be.

I turned to leave, only to run right into Liam. “Fuck!” I cried, jumping back a few feet with my heart pounding in my chest. “Visions of lots of horror movies here,” I grumbled at him. “Warn a guy.”

“Says the man sneaking into locked buildings.” He didn’t look mad, or even alarmed, but his gaze was a little intense.

“The door was open,” I protested.

“By Robin, your cat who is not a cat?”

“You saw him?”

“No. But I heard you call his name.”

“Dammit. He never leaves the camper. I’m sorry, Liam.” I made to step around him and leave. “I shouldn’t be in here. I shouldn’t have followed him. He just messes with me sometimes. I hope whomever owns this isn’t angry. It’s a pretty space even if the colors are a little bland.” Maybe they just hadn’t painted the walls yet. Everything felt very gray, cold, though that could have just been the filtered light on whitewashed walls.

“I’ll try to keep Robin out of trouble.” Though that was a little more wishful thinking than anything like I had power over him. Maybe if I offered him something. Working a few days would earn me money to buy him chocolate bars. That was a start at least.

Liam caught my arm. “It’s safe to rest here. More than a few days. I want you to stay.”

He didn’t mean here as in inside the building. He meant here with him. With his touch a rush of heat rolled through us again. I closed my eyes a minute just to feel the warmth of him. “I don’t trust anyone,” I told him and opened my eyes to stare up at him. He was close now, towering over me, but not in a threatening way, more like he was my shield.

“Especially yourself, right?”

It wasn’t fair that he knew me so well already.

“Are you willing to try? I can’t promise to be perfect. And I’m an alpha, so domineering asshole comes naturally, just ask my daughter. But I want you. I want what we could have together. I want to try.” He leaned forward to rest his forehead against mine.

“Because your wolf wants me for some reason?”

“He doesn’t want you. He proclaims you mate, no matter what. Has been fighting me since the night we met, to go after you and bring you home. My rational, human brain, reminds my wolf patience is necessary when pursuing skittish prey.” He let out a deep sigh. “But late at night, when I’m alone in bed after solving everyone else’s problems all day, all I can think about is how nice it would be to not be there alone.”

“You could snap your fingers and have anyone.”

“Yet I have dreams of us. You and I.”