Page 21 of Witchblood

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Would he kill me quickly? My breath caught in my throat and suddenly I couldn’t get any air. Yet I still whispered, “I’m sorry,” over and over while the world began to narrow to darkness around me.

He cupped my face with his hands. “Stop. Stop. I can see the terror in your eyes, hear your racing heart. Breathe.” It was the last command that had me sucking in a breath so deep I choked and coughed. “That’s it.” He rubbed my back with one hand while petting my head with the other. Still the terror gripped me and I had to fight to see beyond the fear, and think beyond the mantra of apology.

“Please kill me quickly.” I wasn’t above begging if need be. If I’d done to Felix what I’d done to Liam all those years ago, the Volkov himself would likely have tortured me to death for daring to use his son for food. It wasn’t all that different from what vampires did. Blood, spirit, life, energy, it was all connected.

“Sebastian Volkov hear my voice,” Liam said firmly, the power of Alpha, like he was my Alpha, in his voice. His grip tightened until all I could see were his eyes. Deep pools of endless blue depths. There was no anger to be found in them. He didn’t look at me with disgust or rage. “I offered myself to you then to help you heal. I offer myself to you now.” He gave me a tight smile. “I hope you’ve improved since the last time. It took me two days to recover from our single kiss. Your injuries are not as severe this time. Perhaps you’ll let me walk away from this with a little sleepiness and not total oblivion. It was difficult back then to explain to your father how you went missing and I was found in the forbidden woods weak as a newborn pup. I was very lucky he didn’t kill me, since you smelled of pain, fear, and blood, and I smelled of you.”

“Why would you…I don’t understand…What…” My brain just couldn’t process. He wanted me to use his spirit to heal again. The Volkov knew Liam had seen me that night? DidApaknow what I did? Was that why he hadn’t fought harder to drag me back?

“I’m telling you to take what you need to heal. You don’t have the energy and I have boundless amounts due to my wolf nature. I offered before to be your light or dark, whatever you needed. Let me be your strength, be it in sunshine or storm.”

That was too close to the chant of a mating bond. “No. You’re not my Alpha. Not my mate.”

“No?” He moved one hand to curl around the back of my neck and pull me forward until we were inches apart, lips almost touching. I could feel his breath on my face. The electricity of our touch coursed through my body, making me tremble. This wasn’t just the familiar zing of a wolf. It was more. An ache like something that had been lost long ago and finally recovered.

“Didn’t you choose me a year ago? You called for me. Not your voice, as you made no sound while you lay in the dark dying. Yoursoul. I heard it. Came running. My soul screaming. How unfair to find you as you were dying? And you were thewitchchild. Immune to the were magic. Had you been a wolf your father might have been able to help you heal. I felt helpless and you asked for a kiss. I gave it. Life. An exchange of spirit. Isn’t that the very meaning of a bond?”

I shook my head even though what he said was true.

“Eleven other alphas shared space in your father’s bunkhouse. Eleven, not including those in your own pack. Only I heard you. Only I responded. When your father requested alphas who might be interested in you attend his festival, I hadn’t thought much of it. Just that territory would be nice. Didn’t think my wolf would be interested in a troublesome child even though I’d always dreamt of finding my true mate. Your exploits were whispered about in every pack, I’m sure. Very few frustrated the Volkov like you. But that night changed everything.Mine, my wolf told me.Mine.”

“No. I don’t belong to anyone. That kiss was just to heal me, nothing more.”

“Your soul didn’t call to mine? My life didn’t restore yours? Haven’t you spent the last year feeling the pull in this direction? Trying not to follow it, but failing? It all began that night.”

I had no idea. I barely remembered that night. The kiss had been a dream. A fantasy that Hugo had later exploited when he’d been draining my blood nightly for weeks.

“It’s all right if you need time. The Volkov said you were skittish. And that was before you ran. He said you prickled when approached with affection, like a porcupine. We’d all laughed at that. But I know now it’s true. You’re so used to being hurt that you lash out to avoid getting close. It may not be the happiest way to live, but I understand why you needed to protect yourself that way.” Liam stared intently at me, like he could see all my secrets written on my face.

“At first your father thought you’d fled because you’d found out about his trials to find you a mate. But you smelled of Felix that night. Of another alpha and sex. I hadn’t yet met Felix. When I did, you’d been gone a few days. The Volkov pack was in an uproar and Felix was demanding you be returned to him. When I scented him…realized it was he who’d left you broken and dying, forcing you to flee. What he’d done to you…I challenged him.”

He couldn’t have. He’d be dead. “The Volkov wouldn’t let you.”

“It was already done. Your father couldn’t stop it. I don’t think he really wanted to stop it. Xander is quiet when he’s angry. Still like a snake ready to strike. The rage builds in him like some convalescing monster. I’ve heard legends of when he releases it. Everyone should have been afraid that night of his stillness. Especially Felix. Not because I challenged his son, but because you’d been hurt and ran, not to him, but away.”

“No. He would never let you hurt Felix,” I said. The Volkov loved his sons. Spoke of them fondly and often, and kept them close to protect them. I couldn’t imagine him letting anyone hurt Felix.

“I more than hurt Felix. If the Volkov’s wife had not begged, I’d have killed Felix and been justified in doing so. I left him broken and defeated. Your father thanked me with this territory far from his and a blessing that should you and I ever cross paths again, we would be free to bond.” Liam’s forehead pressed to mine. He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath as though savoring the scent of me.

“I’ve lived a long time. Had many short relationships to pass the years a little less lonely. Never a mate. I had begun to fear I’d never find my mate. My wolf always rejected the others, told me to wait. It was a war between us. Never a moment of peace, until that night when everything changed. The wolf led me to you. You still smell like honey and lavender. Like wildflowers in the wind and wood smoke on a cool fall evening. Home. Den. Pack. Mate. I’ve spent a year dreaming of your scent and your lips. Waiting for you. The Volkov assured me, eventually you’d arrive in my territory. Fate would eventually steer our paths together again.”

The entire past year of running had been in a zig-zag across the country. Every time I veered too far to the east or south something cropped up that made me run again. Always north and west until I’d almost run out of road. “Have you been stalking me? This whole time?”

He opened his eyes, the blue of his gaze intense. “No. I had a pack to run and a territory to build. I worked to build a home that would be ready when you arrived. The Volkov planted the field before I had even chosen the territory. Said you’d need it someday. I created the bakery with room to expand it into a tea shop.”

“You’re insane. Fate isn’t real.” None of this was logical. How couldApaeven know? Had he known? Had he been pushing me in this direction for the past year? Or had it been longer? I hadn’t even known Liam’s name that night. Remembered very little of him appearing in the dark, though my fantasies had taken the kiss and replayed it a million times over. HadApaplanned to mate me to an alpha? But alpha’s didn’t mate with men. Likely they’d all been more interested in territories than me. Had I been a tool then? Something to barter to gain a pack? My head began to hurt. There was just too much. For the last year I’d felt pulled in this direction. Some internal compass saying go northwest. Fate? Liam?

“But when I arrived you just let me go,” I pointed out.

“Because I knew we’d be drawn back together. The second you drove away I knew it was a mistake. The bond between us tightened and I wanted to follow so badly. I raged a war with my wolf that day. Dylan sent wolves up the highway to make sure you were safe. Dylan found your car and reported it to me. I asked him to stay and watch for you. By the time I arrived, he was already chasing the other wolves, trying to save you.”

I couldn’t breathe again.

“I ask you again, Sebastian Volkov. Can you heal this?” He moved one hand to my injured thigh. “If I give you my strength? I don’t want you to have a weakness while someone stalks my pack. My wolves will guard you day and night if necessary, but I need to know you can run if your survival depends on it. Can you heal this?”

“I don’t know,” I told him honestly. “It sort of just happens when I’m on the verge of death. I have books on it back home, but haven’t had access to them to look. I’ve done it two times, accidentally. Not sure I can direct it purposely.” Never had the chance to really try. Stealing energy, or life force from another, just didn’t sound like a very nice thing to do.

“Twice?” His eyes narrowed, growing dark and serious. “Who else?”