Page 57 of Witchblood
“Maybe,” Oberon allowed. “He’s not hearing me anymore. Figured I’d spend the night in the house and see if I could actually sleep myself.” He glanced at Sean.
“Under my protection,” Liam repeated. He didn’t take us to the stairway, but back toward the outer door. “You really want to see the Volkov?” Liam asked me.
Not really, but I needed to. If I could stir him back to humanity, that was enough, right? Even if it was a bit of a reminder as to the madness of the current state of affairs. IfApawas in control again, instead of his beast, maybe we all had a chance.
I clung to Liam as we crossed the distance between the house and the bunkhouse. Liam was tired too. I could feel it. It was a bit like I was draining him. Maybe this struggle with the kitsune spirit or whatever it was inside me was draining him. I prayedApa’scontrol returned fast enough that no one had to face off with the monster. We trudged forward, the weight of the Volkov’s darkness like wading through molasses. Slow and sticky.
“Do you want me to walk?” I asked him. Maybe seeingApawhile I still smelled of Liam and sex wasn’t such a good idea. Arriving wrapped in Liam’s arms also seemed like a screaming declaration. ButApahad approved of Liam, or so he’d led Liam to believe.
“You’re too tired. Rest. We’ll say hello and head to bed,” Liam reassured me. Like it would be that simple.
“I don’t know why I’m so tired. Is it the mating?”
“I suspect it’s the fox spirit draining you.”
I muddled over the thought of that. “Why now?”
“Why did it change? You’ll have to tell me. Was it Underhill?”
For a moment I remembered the giant bug-like thing and the explosion of something large and fiery from within me. “I think maybe it protected me when I was in Underhill.” Though that had already been after the memory ofApaand Felix fighting had awakened something within me.
“Then it’s not a bad thing. Just something we need to better understand,” Liam said. “Plus the mating is only mostly complete. We have to solidify our den before we can unify the pack. They are scattered and tugging at me, and in turn. I’m pulling energy from you, and you’re pulling energy from me. It’s a vicious cycle.”
“Werewolf chaos,” I grumbled at him as though he wasn’t the best thing that had happened in my life. “I really hope you’re not too good to be true.”
“I’m sure I have plenty of bad habits to displease even the most generous of fox shifters,” he teased. “Like leaving dirty socks on the floor, or not shaving for a week.”
“I vote for not shaving,” I told him gravely. “It’s a sacrifice I’m happy to make.” I reached up to run my hand over his scruffy cheek. “Maybe trimmed a little.”
“Hmm,” he acknowledged. “It’s been a couple decades since I had a beard. If it pleases my mate…”
I grinned at his phrasing. “I like the sound of that.”
“I will consider a beard so long as you don’t cut your hair.”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Mating is a partnership, you know. Give a little, get a little. I’ve spent the past year talking to every mated couple I could find,” Liam informed me. “I’ve never been a man who likes being unprepared.”
“But you said you know about as much as I do about this whole mating thing. And I haven’t spent any time researching it,” I pointed out.
“Mating is so varied that no one can give me definite answer. However, love, life-long love, the answer to that is two Cs. Communication and compromise.”
“Great sex in the top five at all?” I wondered out loud.
Liam laughed. “It was in there somewhere. Right above negotiations over facial hair.”
“Hmm,” I mimicked his half-committed reply. Wait, he said love. Life-long love. He couldn’t love me. Not yet. We barely knew each other.
He stopped for a minute to stare down at me. “Why are you suddenly a mix of chaotic emotions? Your heart beat picked up and then fear, confusion, hope…Might have been more, but it’s different sorting out someone else’s emotions.”
“You can’t love me yet,” I said. Because that was the chaos that whirled in my mind. Did I love him? I needed him. That was unmistakable. My soul needed him wrapped around it like I needed air to breathe.
He stared down at me, his expression guarded. “Does it scare you?”
Love was scary. It wasn’t even real. Not really. So many people said they loved you, then turned around and stabbed you in the back. I didn’t want him to love me like that. Empty words. Broken hearts.
“Time,” Liam said, sucking in a deep breath. He continued toward the bunkhouse. “We can debate facial hair later. Right now we have a demon to confront. Even if he’s just one made up in your mind.”