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MIA

Eli’s first martial arts lesson is a resounding success.

Not gonna lie, I was a little worried at first. It’s not that I don’t trust Nikita, but I get the feeling her definition of “danger” is very different from mine.

However, her lesson is completely kid-appropriate. She teaches Eli a couple of basic stances, a breathing technique, and shows him how to do a few fighting poses so he won’t get bored with it. That last part is, frankly, hilarious.

By the time it’s over, Eli is rubbing his eyes. “I’m tired,” he yawns.

I bet you are. Between his episode and an improvised martial arts class, it’s practically bedtime already. “How about mac and cheese and Bond?” I suggest.

“Yes, please!”

I whip up a quick meal for him and set him up on the coffee table. He manages to get halfway through the bowl before he’s asleep.

I pick him up and carry him to his bedroom. “Sweet dreams,” I whisper, and kiss him goodnight.

“He’s out?” Nikita asks.

“Like a light.” I put away his leftovers and slump against the counter. “Thank you for that.”

“Don’t mention it.” She shrugs. “Little man looked like he could use a confidence booster.”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “Got his father to thank for that.”

“Don’t we all?”

I shake my head, but I’m smiling. “Seriously, thanks. You’re a lifesaver.”

“Just doing m’job.”

She gives a mock bow. It makes me laugh—until I see her whole body tilt.

“Nik!” I rush forward to catch her, but she manages to right herself at the last second. “Everything alright?”

“Sorry,” she laughs awkwardly, grabbing the edge of the counter for support. “Lost my balance there for a second.”

“That wasn’t just your balance,” I protest. “Your eyes went out of focus. You were fainting.” When she doesn’t deny it, I steer her towards the couch by the shoulders. “Sit,” I order. “Rest.”

“Geez. Yulian rubbing off on you, much? Wait, on second thought, don’t answer that.”

“Oh, I’ll answer.” I cross my arms. “As soon as you tell me when’s the last time you slept. Or ate.”

Her face grows guilty. I scan her body—yup, still skin and bones. No, actually, more skin and bones than when I brought her home after her three months in captivity, being fed through a straw.

Which is weird. She was supposed to be getting better by now. Gaining back muscle, fat, strength. According to Yulian, Nikita used to be much curvier than this. But now? If it weren’t for her height, she could borrow my clothes and swim in them.

She hasn’t been eating. Or sleeping. Like, at all.

Finally, she exhales. “It’s nothing to worry about. I just get nauseous sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“Okay, fine, all the time.” She points a finger at me. “And before you ask, no, it’s not just in the morning, and no, I’m definitely not pregnant.”

“You’re sure?”

“Oh, I’m sure.” She pulls a face. “Believe me, I’m missing some crucial equipment for that.”

Yep. Not getting any. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve lived with cobwebs down there for five years.”

“In a weird way, it does make me feel better.”

I crouch and check the inside of her eyelids. “You’re anemic, too.”

“Hmm, pretty sure I’m agnostic.”

“ Nik. ”

“Sorry.” She throws her hands up. “Force of habit. I’m not good at talking about the real stuff.”

“Then I’ll do it.” I sit down beside her and reach for her hand. “Your life isn’t just your own, Nik. Everyone who loves you will suffer if you don’t look after yourself.”

She looks surprised to hear me say it. Frankly, I am, too. They’re Yulian’s words, not mine. I never thought I’d be borrowing them like this.

But Nikita’s family, too, and I don’t want to lose her.

“It’s not a very long list, you know,” she answers meekly. “People who love me.”

“Well, I’m on it, and so is Yulian.” I bite my lip, remembering the vicious fight they had after the shooting. “Even though he occasionally forgets how to show it.”

“Wow. You’re the queen of euphemisms tonight, aren’t you?”

I hit her with a pillow. “Just promise me you’ll eat something. And sleep.”

“Can I cross my fingers behind my back?”

“Now that you’ve told me, no.”

“Dammit.”

I throw another pillow. “I’m heating up some more mac and cheese.”

“Nooo,” she whines. “I can’t eat that. I’ll throw it all up.”

“Fine, you can have a smoothie. But I’m adding nutrients.”

“Make it strawberry, and we’ve got a deal. And I get to pry into your life, too.”

Reluctantly, I accept the terms.

Within a few minutes, Nikita is sipping her smoothie. “So?” She blinks up at me with the fakest doe eyes I’ve ever seen. “How’s life in penthouse paradise?”

I fight the urge to throw myself face-down on the couch. “It’s… complicated.”

“Juicy. Tell me more.”

I groan. “It’s just… I feel like I never know what I’m gonna get with him. He can be so kind in his own way, and yet?—”

“Sometimes he’s a caveman.”

“Kind of, yeah.”

She snorts into her straw. “Look, here’s the thing: He’s got, like, twenty years’ worth of experience at bottling up his emotions.

He’s already made leaps of progress with you.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t keep pushing, because you definitely should—but keep in mind this is all new to him.

Acknowledging his feelings. Realizing he’s human, too. ”

“Why is he so allergic to it? Being human?”

Nikita shrugs. “It already cost him everything once. He’s not exactly keen on going through that again.”

She sounds like she’s speaking from experience. Like she, too, has had a lifetime’s practice at pushing people away.

It already cost him everything once.

Guilt seeps into me. Yulian lost it all because of Prizrak, and here I am, covering up the Baldwin family’s involvement. He deserves to know the truth, but?—

But Eli doesn’t deserve to mourn his father twice.

“Desya…” I press my lips tightly. “Was he always like this? When you guys were younger?”

Nikita’s face clouds over. “If I had to answer with what I know now, I’d say yes.

He always had flexible morality, a flair for the dramatic, and an uncanny ability to charm people into doing his bidding.

But I never thought he’d use it against his friends.

Yulian and Kira—they were his whole world. ”

“Were you close with him?”

“I guess I thought I was.” She gives a deep sigh.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was just a kid.

But Desya… he knew how to make you feel special.

Me? I was just the dumb, chubby little sister of the Morozov Bratva’s princess.

Not a day went by that my parents didn’t draw comparisons.

Yulian was nice, but he wasn’t in the habit of hanging out with kids.

Desya was the only one who paid attention to me.

” Her fists go tight on her knees. “But he was just grooming me to take Kira’s place. ”

I remember his horrible words back at the mansion.

“If I’d known you’d grow up to look this good, I’d have stashed you away somewhere before I killed your whore of a sister. We could’ve had some fun eventually.”

Goosebumps bloom on my arms. Desya Bogdanov—he really is the worst of the worst. It’s no wonder Yulian can’t think straight around him. Desya’s not as powerful, so he learned to play to his strengths: messing with other people’s heads.

It makes me furious.

“We’ll get him.” I blurt it out without thinking. “And once we do, this nightmare will be over.”

Something like determination shines in Nikita’s eyes. “To ending nightmares,” she says, raising her glass to mine.

I clink them together and think of Brad.

To ending nightmares.