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MIA

I never thought I’d get first-day jitters again. But here I am, vibrating in my seat, watching anxiously out the window as Yulian’s Maybach pulls into the familiar roads that lead to Brownsville General Hospital.

Yulian shoots me a teasing glance. “Someone’s nervous.”

“I can’t help it,” I mumble. “It’s just been so long. What if I’m not good at it anymore?”

“I highly doubt that.”

The way he says it stirs all the butterflies in my stomach.

I think back to everything he’s done for me. Taking us in, bringing Isaak to the fight, reinstating me—all things that would have seemed impossible just mere months ago. Even during our first run, there were times where I felt hopelessly alone.

But not anymore.

“Thank you for doing this.” I put my hand on his knee, squeeze lightly. “I know it’s not what you wanted.”

“It’s what you wanted.” His eyes flick over to mine, a bottomless, ash-warm gray. “But I reserve the right to keep guards at every door.”

That drags a laugh out of me. “Just make sure Gwen doesn’t realize what they are. She’ll hunt them for sport.”

He pulls into the parking lot. His engine keeps rumbling under us. For a long second, neither one of us speaks.

“Don’t worry about the hearing,” Yulian says finally. “Isaak may be a cold-hearted son of a bitch, but he’s on our side. He’ll hold up his end of the bargain.”

“Why is he even helping us?” It’s not the question I really want to ask, but it’s the one I choose to focus on. Because if I start asking those other questions, I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle the answers.

What we are. Where we stand. What this makes us.

Oblivious to the storm inside me, Yulian shrugs. “We’re old allies. He scratches my back, I scratch his.”

“Now, that’s an image I didn’t need in my head.”

“Then you shouldn’t have asked.”

I roll my eyes, but I’m smiling anyway. How can I not? “You’re unbelievable.”

“And you’re going to be late.” Yulian’s fingers trace the inside of my arm. His voice drops to a low, husky whisper. “Unless you’ve changed your mind about what you want to be doing today.”

It’s tempting. So, so tempting. “After my shift?” I try to negotiate. “I’m gonna need coffee, though. Loads of coffee. I’m not used to the ER rush anymore.”

“There’s a cart by the lobby,” Yulian says. His fingers have moved to my face now, tipping up my chin just enough to tease. “Italian roast. Bound to wake you up.”

“Then it’s a date.” I try to keep my own voice from darkening with desire, but it’s a losing battle. “I’ll hitch a ride with Nik and meet you there?”

Possessiveness flashes into his eyes. “I can come get you.”

I shake my head firmly. “I don’t want to interrupt your workflow. I feel like I’ve done that enough these days.”

“You and I have very different definitions of ‘enough.’”

I shove him playfully. “Jesus, you’re so horny all the time!”

“You weren’t complaining last night,” he whispers, leaning close to my lips. “Or the night before that. Or the night before that.”

I feel my knees go weak. If I don’t get out of this car right this second, there’ll be no great comeback for Nurse Winters. Nuh-uh. Only the individual components of that word, possibly more than once.

God, I’m a hornball too, aren’t I?

I push out of the car before I can let Yulian have his very tempting way with me. “I’ll see you after work, Mister. Behave while I’m gone.”

“Now, you know I can’t make that promise.”

Yes, you can. Because you wouldn’t dare misbehave without me.

I press a quick kiss to his lips and draw back before he can catch me. Then I skip up the steps of the underground parking lot and into the service elevator.

I respawn directly in front of the changing rooms on the ER floor.

It’s so odd walking in here again—everything’s so foreign and familiar all at once.

Nothing’s changed, not really, but I feel like I have.

I’m not the same person who donned her dirty purple scrubs in this hospital three whole months ago.

I walk under the neon lights, change into my trusty scrubs—clean for the next five minutes, if my luck holds—and walk through the ER doors.

“Code red!”

“Nurse Mendez, hold the patient down?—”

“I need 1 mcg acetaminophen, STAT!”

Ahh. Home sweet home.

Kallie rushes by my side, a stretcher in tow. “Welcome back to hell, soldier.”

“Glad to be back. Need some help with that vein?”

She flashes me a grin. “I thought you’d never ask.”

By the time my first shift back trickles down, everyone’s come to congratulate me one way or another. Kallie even baked cookies. The other nurses couldn’t believe their eyes, Reese nearly broke down crying, and Gwen—well, even she showed a speck of emotion. Though I’m unsure what it was.

Now, we’re taking advantage of a rare quiet moment to catch up.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Reese blurts. “You got kidnapped by a Russian mob ghost?”

“I mean, when you put it like that…”

He stares at me like I’ve grown two heads. “Holy shit. I want to steal your life.”

“You wanna give birth to a kingpin’s heir?” Kallie frowns. “While being chased by gunfire and flying knives?”

“Hey, I’m a New Yorker. I need excitement in my days. Why do you think I take the J Train to work?”

“Fair point.”

I let myself sink into my friends’ banter, their familiar voices. For a while there, locked inside Brad’s gilded cage, I thought I might never see them again. That I’d lost my chance to even say goodbye.

But that didn’t happen. They waited for me. Kept their faith in me and stayed.

Without Yulian, I never would have been able to live up to that trust.

“I love you guys.” I say it without thinking, one arm around each of their shoulders. “So freaking much.”

“Aww!” they go in sync. But as they cuddle up to me in my embrace, I can tell their eyes are a little bit wet, too.

Soon, however, a cough sends us scattering. “We’re out of gauze,” Gwen announces.

“I’ll go grab some,” I volunteer.

It’s ridiculous. Even a simple trip to the hospital pharmacy puts a skip in my step now. Just how badly had I missed this underfunded hellhole?

It’s your home. The answer comes before I can stop it, unbidden. Like the Brownsville apartment, this was your home for five years, too.

Yeah. A lifetime ago.

I stop by the pharmacy, but the desk’s unmanned. Not surprising—from what I’ve heard, staff cuts have been rampant in the past few months. Something to do with the new year’s budget.

Slipping into the pharmacy without permission could get me into trouble, so I don’t do that. Instead, I remember the storage room on the basement floor.

I take the stairs, itching to burn some kinetic energy.

On the basement floor, I pass the morgue, the coroner’s office, and a tiny break room with a microwave and what looks like brain sashimi on a platter.

Probably not intended to be eaten, but I’d rather not run into another one of the MD’s, ahem, experiments.

Last time, I had to burn my scrubs outright.

I get to the storage room, push the door?—

—and freeze at the stern sound of Gwen’s voice.

“Winters.” She marches straight towards me. “You shouldn’t be down here.”

I try to make myself very, very small. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wander off. It’s just, there was no one at the pharmacy’s desk, and then I remembered about the supplies here?—”

“I see.” Her gaze clears. “Pharmacist’s back now. You can go up.”

“Oh!” I blurt. “Okay, then. I’ll just?—”

“I’ll find the keys for that door.”

Keys? I frown. It’s just a storage room. But Gwen doesn’t look like she’s in the mood to be second-guessed, or even first-guessed, so I give her a quick nod and rush back up. Very demure, very mindful, very please don’t fire me on my first day back.

By the time my shift is over, I’ve forgotten all about the door.