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CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

HEART RUSH

POPPY

It’s been a few weeks since Bowie told me he loved me. I’ve been floating on cloud nine during that time and have slowly moved out of my condo. It’s taken time to sell some of my furniture and to get everything situated into his place, but we brought the last load over last night. I didn’t want to take over Becca and Bowie’s space the way Bowie’s mom did and yet, Bowie hasn’t seemed to mind anything I’ve brought into his house. Our house. It’s going to take a while to get used to saying that.

I’ve slept in his bed every night since his lake declaration though, and I have zero regrets. Morning and night he makes love to me and while that part has always been mind-blowing between us, now it’s next level. Maybe because he trusts me now…or that we know how the other feels, but each day just gets sweeter. Bowie’s heart opens more all the time. I feel like I see more of his guard dropping nearly by the minute.

Becca is so happy I’m living with them, it’s a constant rush of heartwarming butterflies. And Paulina and Mrs. McGregor are never-ending entertainment. It’s a good thing the house is huge though because it’s a lot of opinionated women under one roof.

But I didn’t think I could be this happy, ever.

I’ve tried not to pay too much attention to it, but the news of us has gotten out. I’ve even seen myself in some of the BHOTD posts. And while he didn’t say too much about it, when he was asked by a reporter after a game recently if it was true he had a baby on the way, he confirmed that he and his girlfriend are having a baby.

Girlfriend! That’s me!

Today, we’re standing in the aisle of a massive baby store in Denver, staring blankly at the shelves. I turn to look at him, at a loss…but as usual, I get distracted by staring at him. His hair has grown out some since he first cut it. It’s long enough to tug again, but just barely. I miss his hair, but he looks so delicious with it like this too, I’m not complaining. I will enjoy every look because there are no bad ones when it comes to Bowie Fox.

“What?” he asks, smiling.

“I just like looking at you.”

He leans down and kisses me. “I like looking at you too. ”

I cut it short, giving him a slight shove back. “Okay, over there. I’m already horny all the time,” I whisper.

His eyes light up. “Is that because of pregnancy or…”

I wave my hand in his direction. “Pretty sure it’s just you…but pregnancy could be contributing to me wanting it every single second of the day.”

“You will not find me complaining about this…ever,” he says, adjusting himself.

My mouth goes dry and he laughs when I gape at him.

“Let’s get through this so I can give you what you want before our appointment this afternoon,” he teases.

“Oh, you’re doing me a solid?” I narrow my eyes.

“I want you every single second of the day too, Wicked Stella.”

I giggle and then sigh. “Not sure it’s possible to hurry through this. I’m not sure what I expected from baby registry shopping, but being overwhelmed by a million baby bottles was not high on the list.”

Our friends and family want to have a baby shower for us before the baby comes. Marley and Eric will even be flying out for it. Marley instructed us to register on the earlier side…just in case we think of more things we want in the meantime. I can’t imagine that we’ll need all that much, but now, I realize I must be wrong. There are bottles to mimic breastfeeding, bottles with anti-colic systems, bottles that reduce air intake, and on and on…and that’s just bottles!

Bowie shifts his weight and exhales. “There are so many more choices now than when Becca was born. I didn’t know we needed a PhD to pick out a bottle.”

I groan and laugh, pressing my lips together. “Should we just close our eyes and pick one? It might be the only way.”

I move toward the breastfeeding options, close my eyes, and pick one. He scans it and we move on to the pacifiers and diaper pails with grim determination. It’s hilarious and bizarre, and more than once, it makes me feel inadequately prepared for what life with a baby will really entail.

“Miracle swaddle?” Bowie says, raising his eyebrows. “Does that mean it makes a baby sleep a solid eight hours?”

We end up with a random assortment of things—some for style, some for function, and some purely because we’re too tired to figure out which is better. I have no idea if we did well or not, but we have fun in the process. Bowie keeps grinning at me like we’re in this together, and I live for that look from him.

“Oh!” I freeze as we’re walking out. “Wow, the baby is moving a ton.”

Bowie reaches out and puts his hand on my stomach. I position his hands where I feel the baby moving. He stares at me as he waits and then his eyes light up when he feels a kick.

“I love that so much,” he whispers.

He leans down and kisses my stomach right there in the parking lot.

“Hey, little banana,” he says. “I can’t wait to see you today.”

I drink a ton of water and snooze as we go back to Silver Hills and pick up Becca from school. From there, we head to the clinic for our ultrasound. I’m about to burst when we’re taken back to the room to get the ultrasound. Becca sits perched on the chair, legs swinging, her excitement contagious. She’s been talking about this appointment for days, asking if the baby will see her on the screen too.

I lie back as the technician moves the wand over my belly.

“Actually, I need you to go empty your bladder because you’re too full,” the technician says .

“Oh thank God,” I say.

Bowie laughs at me and I hold up my hand.

“No laughing. I can’t laugh right now,” I say, hurrying to the bathroom.

I can hear his laughter from down the hall and it makes me smile so hard.

When I get back in place, he holds my hand, his thumb rubbing gentle circles over my knuckles. We’re having a 4D ultrasound done, so when the screen flickers and shows the little world our baby is living in right now, my breath catches.

This is our baby, Bowie’s and mine, and Becca’s too. My lip trembles and a tear runs down my cheek when I see the features of our baby.

“Hi, baby!” Becca says in awe.

“This is amazing,” Bowie says, his own voice catching. “I can’t believe how clear it is. I can actually see what our baby will look like.”

A little fist goes up in the air and the baby’s feet move back and forth.

“Can see how wiggly…” I say, smiling through my tears.

Bowie’s grip on my hand tightens when the technician says, “Do you want to know the sex?”

We both nod, glancing at each other. We’d already decided we wanted to know. My pulse flutters in anticipation. I can’t wait to know.

“It’s a boy,” she says warmly, and then she points out exactly how she knows.

A boy.

Bowie exhales a shaky laugh, resting his forehead on mine for a second and I see the tears in his eyes too.

We’re having a son.

“A little boy,” Bowie says hoarsely. “Becca, you’re going to have a little brother. ”

“My baby a brother!” Becca says happily. She points toward the screen and looks so proud. “He a dinosaur! Rawr!”

“You think he looks like a dinosaur?” Bowie laughs.

She nods and we all laugh.

Bowie puts his arms around her and squeezes and then he’s back, kissing my temple.

“This is happening, isn’t it?” he whispers.

I meet his eyes. “It really is.”

“We’re so lucky,” he whispers.

I nod, more tears spilling over.

He kisses me and then we go back to watching as the technician points out that the baby has the hiccups.

My heart is so full of love I can barely contain it.

And that feeling carries over into the rest of our day. We head to Starlight Cafe after our appointment, sliding into a booth. Becca demands to sit by me, and Bowie pouts when I say yes. He’s grinning as he takes the opposite side though.

We order burgers and shakes, and Becca swings her feet under the table, announcing every detail about the baby to Bowie as if he wasn’t there.

“My brother loves dinosaurs, Daddy. We read my books. I teach him about dinosaurs.” She looks at me. “I be the best big sister.”

“You’ll be the best big sister ever,” I tell her.

Bowie nods. “I have no doubt he’ll be a dinosaur expert because of you, Becca.”

“Daddy, what is expert?”

“Someone who knows a lot about something…the way you know a lot about dinosaurs.”

“Oh, yes. I know a lot. I an expert,” she says.

When our shakes arrive, Bowie lifts his glass and I lift mine too. Becca carefully picks up her glass and we gently tap hers so she doesn’t have to lift it very high.

“To our baby boy, to Becca’s little brother,” Bowie says. “To our family,” he adds.

My heart gallops under his gaze, the intent promise in that look.

“To our family,” I repeat, eyes welling again. I laugh and shake my head when a tear spills over. “No more tears today.”

“Why you sad, Poppy?” Becca asks.

“I’m crying because I’m so happy,” I say.

She still reaches over to hug me, rubbing my back the way we do when she’s upset.

“You’re the sweetest, Becca,” I say when I pull back.

She grins bigger when she sees me smiling, reassured that I’m okay.

Bowie is staring at us, and I swear, there are hearts in his eyes. I love the way he looks at me now. “You’re beautiful,” he says.

“You’re the best ,” Becca adds.

“You guys are the best,” I cry.

When we get home, we show the sonogram pictures to Paulina and the McGregors.

And then Bowie takes me to bed and makes sure I fall asleep feeling completely loved and satiated.