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CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

REVVED UP

BOWIE

I move her panties back in place and move to her side, leaning up on my elbow to look at her. She stares up at me, her brow creasing.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“I…what do you mean?”

“Why are you stopping?”

My mouth parts as I stare at her. “I was…trying to be a gentleman.”

“That’s never stopped you before.”

A laugh bursts out of me. “It’s stopped me many times, but with you, you’re right…I haven’t been a very good gentleman with you.”

“Well, don’t start being proper with me now,” she huffs.

I can’t stop smiling and it feels foreign on my face, foreign in my body to feel this good. “You want me, Poppy?”

“You did get me all revved up.”

“I hoped I was satisfying you, but clearly I didn’t do my job.”

“Oh, you satisfied me. I’m just ready for more now.”

I tug my shirt off and tilt my chin for her to take hers off. She grins at me, mischief and desire sparking in those eyes, and I am hers.

I don’t let myself stay on that thought for too long, focusing instead on the way she looks, the way I’m going to make her feel.

Our clothes are tossed across the room and when there’s nothing left between us, I pull her on top of me. My hands look huge splayed across her skin, and it’s mesmerizing watching her body react to mine with every touch. She rocks against me and I see the chill bumps scatter across her skin.

“Are you cold?” I ask.

“No, it just feels so good, everywhere you touch.”

“God, you’re beautiful.”

“You are too,” she says, leaning down until her lips are on mine when she says it again. “You are too.”

I reach for a condom and then pause. “We haven’t really talked about tests, but I’m testing regularly with the team and all is clear.”

“For me too,” she says.

“We can still use condoms…if you want. ”

“I’d like to experience it without.” Her cheeks are still flushed from her orgasm, but they heat to crimson again.

I twitch beneath her and her eyes flare. She leans down and kisses me, her long hair trailing against my chest. The lights are low from my bedside lamp, and I want to study every inch of her, learn the map of her freckles and memorize the contour of her skin. Our kiss starts out sweet but quickly boils over, her tongue feels like sex and I chase it, greedy for all of her. She sighs when her hands slide over my shoulders and down my chest, careful and reverent, like she’s memorizing me too.

When she raises her hips and guides my tip inside, we both freeze for a second. I groan quietly with how good she feels. My palm slides down her side and around her back until I’m cupping her ass. She starts undulating over me and it’s the most beautiful sight. I’m torn between never blinking and my eyes rolling back in my head because it’s fucking heaven. I lean in and take her nipple in my mouth, twirling it around my tongue and nipping it with my teeth. I love the wet heat of her and the way she dances over me.

Her breathing gets erratic and I feel too close. I flip her onto her back and slide into her deep, so deep that we both lose our breath. Her sounds of pleasure threaten to make me lose it and I can’t yet. I want this to last longer than two minutes. Her skin is heated under mine now, the only chill coming from the sheen of sweat on my forehead as I try to hold onto some restraint.

My strokes are slow and languid, and I watch as she takes me, feel the clench of her tightening and releasing as she tries to hold onto me inside.

“It’s so good,” she groans.

I swell at her words and give her a few deep, fast strokes. When I pull out, flipping her onto her stomach, she cries out, “Come back.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I tell her.

I tilt her hips and enter her in a single perfect slide. She screams into a pillow and I grin, bending down to kiss her shoulder.

“Told you,” I say, laughing against her skin.

She laughs into the pillow and then cries out again when I bottom out inside of her, only to pull out and do it again, and again. She looks at me over her shoulder, her mouth parted before she bites down on her lip, her eyes squeezing shut as I fuck her relentlessly.

“Bowie,” she pants. “This is—don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.”

“I know, Angel. I know.”

This isn’t just sex. I’m going to have to work out what exactly this is later, but for now, I know this much: if Poppy Keane asked me for anything, I’d walk through coals of fire to give it to her.

“Come here,” I say, sitting back on my heels and pulling her up into my lap.

I push into her as she grinds onto me, and my hand moves to her neck while the other moves between her legs, coaxing another orgasm out of her. I hold her up while she collapses, kissing her neck until my breath turns shaky, my own orgasm starting to barrel through me. I grip her hips then and move into her with solid strokes.

“Poppy,” I rasp. “ Fuck .”

I shove into her deep and feel like I’ll never stop coming, my body strung tight while she flutters and clenches around me. When the tremors eventually still between us, I lift her and spoon around her back, holding her close as we lie down. She looks at me over her shoulder through half-lidded eyes and offers a small grin.

“That was…” she whispers.

“Yeah.” My voice is rough. “It was.”

She drifts off to sleep first and I’m not far behind her, and I have an unsettling dream. I don’t see Poppy at all, but I know that she’s about to have the baby, and I can’t find her. I wake up gasping and only an hour and a half has passed since we fell asleep. I go into the bathroom and turn on the shower, hoping the water will clear my head. When I get out and I’m still a mess, I sit down on the floor and lean against the tub.

She stumbles in a few minutes later, her lips swollen and hair going everywhere. She’s wearing her shirt and panties again and I want to strip them off.

Her beauty makes my heart catch in my throat.

“You okay?” she asks.

“I didn’t want to wake you up,” I say. When she doesn’t say anything, I add, “Maybe having a little freakout. Bad dream.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, sitting down next to me and taking my hand.

I take the first deep lungful of air since I woke up and look at her.

“I might have some abandonment issues,” I say quietly. “It started with my father…when I’d do something he didn’t approve of, he’d disappear. Sometimes for hours, sometimes for days, but it was usually in a strange city. When I was young, my dad and I traveled some with swimming, and when he’d leave, I wouldn’t know what to do, where to go. I’d be in a hotel room too scared to even order room service because I knew if he did come back, I’d be in trouble for that too.”

I meet her eyes reluctantly and her chin wobbles .

“That’s heartbreaking,” she says.

I look down at our feet. Her knees are tucked to her chest and her turquoise toenails are cute.

“Do you have any fears about having a baby…with me?” I ask after a long pause.

“I have fears about having a baby…yes. Normal fears, I think. Like, will I be a good mom, will our baby be healthy?—”

My eyes meet hers. “You’re worried our baby will have Down Syndrome?”

“No. I-I didn’t mean that. I mean healthy in all the ways, mentally and physically. I think that’s a normal fear to have…I just want to be prepared for all the things. Be capable of giving our child the best care possible.” She frowns. “Down Syndrome isn’t typically passed down from parents. You know that, right?”

I swallow and stare at the floor again. “Yeah, I know…but I thought you might be worried about that. And I guess…I just wonder what you’d do if…the baby weren’t healthy in any way or…if you decided you didn’t want to be a mom after all.”

“Bowie,” she whispers, turning to face me. “I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Is this the way I would’ve gone about having one? No. But I’m not going to abandon my child or you. No matter what. I don’t know yet what you and I are going to be.” She puts her hands on my cheeks and I meet her eyes. “Although, whatever that was in your bed…” Her lips lift and she shakes her head. “I don’t know what that was.”

“Me either,” I admit. “Every time with you has felt…life-altering.”

She nods. “Yes,” she says softly. She takes a deep breath. “Wherever we land with one another, we’re going to be parents together. You’re kind of stuck with me. ”

I turn to face her and put my hands on her cheeks too. “You don’t think you’ll change your mind, once the baby comes?”

She leans into one of my hands. “I’m surrounded by kids all the time, Bowie. I chose a profession that deals with kids and disabilities. I’m not a runner.” When my eyes lower, she dips her face until they meet again. “I promise.”

I swallow and lean my forehead onto hers. “Okay,” I whisper.

“Okay.”

Her lips press softly against mine and then she stands up and holds out her hand.

“Come on, you should get back in bed. I’ll head home and you can have it to yourself.”

“I don’t want the bed to myself,” I say.

It’s the most honest thing I’ve said in years.

She grins. “Well, maybe I can stay over another time. I’ve got work early tomorrow and didn’t bring anything with me.”

I curl up my face into a scowl and she laughs, leaning up to kiss me again.

“I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

“Okay,” I grumble.

I walk her to the door and she turns and hugs me. When we part, I smooth her hair back and kiss her.

“Next time, please bring your things,” I say.

“Okay,” she says, smiling up at me.

It suddenly falters and I'm back to nervous again."What's wrong?"

"Easter's coming up. How would you feel about coming to meet my family?" Her nerves are back, and I feel bad that I've given her reason to be so hesitant. "You and Becca," she adds.

At those words, my chest expands. She’s choosing me and Becca, opening a door to a part of her life that matters. It might seem simple to her, but I haven’t imagined that I could have this with someone.

I lean in and press a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you,” I whisper, and in those two words I try to tell her everything—how grateful I am, how excited I could be if I only let myself be. “I’d love to meet your family."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Amazing," she says, her smile wide. "They're going to love you."

“Mmm, we’ll see,” I say, unable to resist smiling back at her.

I watch her walk to her car and stand there after she’s driven away, the quiet night my only company.

I’m not sure what tomorrow holds, but tonight I’ve got something I thought I’d lost forever—hope.