Page 38 of Who We Think We Are

T he next day, when Kate’s flight arrives in Vancouver, the city is showing itself off in all its glory: the snowcapped mountains, the ocean, the beaches, Stanley Park, and the sun reflecting off the glass high-rises.

No matter where I go in the world, when I come home, I still think I live in the most beautiful place on earth.

When Kate leaves customs and walks through the frosted glass sliding doors, Jake, Paige, and Kelli are there to greet her.

“Mom!” shout Paige and Kelli as they run to hug her. Kate thinks that is the best word she’s ever heard. Jake grabs her in a bear hug and kisses her, and all four of them walk arm-in-arm to the car. God, it’s good to be home .

Kelli and Paige pepper Kate with questions as they drive home. Kate says, “I want to tell you everything, but I’m exhausted to the core. Can we wait till tomorrow?”

“Sure. I’ll make us a nice brunch in the morning,” says Jake. “When we get home, you can have a bowl of soup and go to bed.”

“Dad made Oma’s split pea soup, Mom,” says Kelli. “And he did a pretty good job. Since you told us you were coming home, all he’s done is get things the way he knows you like them. He made soup, baked sourdough rye bread, and got fresh flowers, fruit, and stuff for salad …”

“He made us do laundry, put fresh sheets on your bed, and clean the house!” says Paige. “He’s been super annoying.”

“Aww,” says Kate, reaching out and squeezing Jake’s hand. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Are you kidding?” says Paige. “Yes, we did! Or Dad might have blown a gasket.”

After greeting Coco, who is beside herself with joy, the four of them sit at GG’s oak table. Coco falls asleep on top of Kate’s feet. Jake puts Oma’s soup pot on a trivet and dishes out servings.

“This is heaven, Jake. You did Oma proud.” Kate says. She dunks her well-buttered slice of bread into the soup. “Thank you. It’s just what the doctor ordered. What’s been happening for all of you?”

The girls chatter about what they’ve been up to while Kate and Jake sit back and enjoy listening.

Eventually, Kate says, “It’s so good to be home. And now I’m going to …”

“Have a bath and go to bed!” says Paige. “We know, Mom. We know all about you and your weird habits.”

Kate decides that’s a good thing and wishes the same for Bertrun.

The next morning, Jake sets out Kate’s favorite brunch foods on GG’s table: “build your own eggs benedict” ingredients, including bacon, spinach, and smoked salmon, and a fruit salad.

“OK, Mom. Do you know how worried we were?” asks Kelli. “It’s time to tell us everything.”

“You know most of it already,” says Kate.

“Yeah, but we want to hear it from start to finish,” says Paige.

So, Kate tells them everything, leaving nothing out: the passport troubles in Berlin; the gate agent calling the police at the airport; the man on the train; the horrific drive back to The Hague in the dark and rain; the Canadian Ambassador; Cobus Janssen’s help; Ingrid; meeting Bertrun, who has Oma’s eyes, and their visit; Bertrun’s son showing up with his goon, Holger Fischer, and realizing he was the man on the train; Bertrun choosing to end contact with Kate to defend her son; her visit with de ooms; and how she couldn’t have done any of it without Mikelia’s help.

“Kelli, I took pictures at the Resistance Memorial Center for Suze. Could you please print them for me?”

Paige says, “For Suze? You mean the one who fired you from the board of your own organization?”

Kate laughs. “Yup. That’s the one!”

Paige says, “Who are you, and what have you done with our mother?”

Kelli says, “Sure, Mom. When?”

“By tomorrow morning. I took a lot of pictures. I’ll email you the ones from the Jewish resistance exhibit.”

After brunch, Kate sits in her favorite easy chair and sends Kelli the pictures she wants to have printed. Then she calls Suze. “Hi, Suze. I’m home.”

“Did you find what you were looking for?” asks Suze.

“I did. Will you go for a hike with me tomorrow?”

“I will if you remember the conversation we need to have.”

“How could I forget? Are you OK with doing the Foreshore Trail at Pacific Spirit Park? I want to be on the beach.”

“I would prefer to do a shorter walk. I’m not sure I want to spend that much time with you. But we can do the Admiralty Trail so you can have your beach walk.”

“Alright. What time do you want to meet?”

“Let’s meet at eleven.”

“OK, see you then.”

Jake walks into the living room with his arms full of firewood while Kate is on the phone. When she hangs up, he says, “Look at you letting go of things!”

Kate says, “We all are. Maybe there’s hope for us yet.”

Kate and Suze meet at the parking lot. Normally, they would hug, but Suze’s hands remain in her pockets, so Kate follows her lead. Their dogs, though, are ecstatic to see each other and play, and they run loops around Kate and Suze as they walk through the forest.

This is no time for chitchat, so Kate jumps right in.

“Thanks for meeting me, Suze. I’ve thought a lot about what you asked me to own.

At first, I couldn’t understand what you were talking about.

I was trying my best to take care of things so you wouldn’t have to worry, and I couldn’t be responsible for Grandad and Oma’s choices, so why were you mad at me?

And I was going through a tough time with learning Oma’s secrets and her dying, so why were you being so hard on me? ”

“Are you going to get to the part where you own your shit, Kate? So far, this sounds like an indictment of me.”

“I’m getting there, I promise. I’m just letting you know my starting point.”

“I know your starting point, Kate. I know you, and I was there.”

Kate takes a few deep breaths and lets the snarky remarks she wants to hurl at Suze fade away.

“The first glimmer of understanding I got was when you came to see Grandad, and I saw you weren’t mad at him or Oma.

You were mad at me. I take responsibility for all of the consequences of my choices and actions.

I’m not even aware of most of the consequences yet.

I didn’t take any time to think it all through.

I just took off, thinking I could fix it on my own so it would be like it had never happened.

I guess I wanted to magically find out Oma hadn’t been a Nazi. ”

Kate stops walking and looks Suze in the eyes.

“I wasn’t honest with you; I disrespected you; I didn’t trust you to do what you needed to do for yourself and your mom and Bubbie.

And I didn’t trust you to work with me, or at least advise me, on dealing with the impact it could have on our nonprofit.

And I didn’t tell you until I needed support from you.

Then I took off to Europe on my quest for the truth and left you holding the bag with the board at a critical time without the information and support you needed.

I wasn’t a friend to you or your partner in the nonprofit.

“Did I get it?”

“Almost,” says Suze. “I was also pissed at you for being so unbelievably self-absorbed and controlling and for leaving and expecting me just to wait to do anything while you went on a wild goose chase trying to find Oma’s baby.

And I wanted to make you pay. But if I’m being honest, I was also angry at you for Oma’s past, even though I knew it wasn’t your fault. ”

“Fair enough. I’m sorry for all that, too. I wanted to dig up the truth no matter the cost.”

When they get to the part of the trail that overlooks the bay, the mountains, and the city, Kate stands there and takes in the view.

Clear and windy days are Kate’s favorite time on this trail.

She closes her eyes, takes off her jacket, stretches out her arms, and lets the wind whip through her hair and clothes, feeling it blow away all the toxicity she’s been holding.

After a while, she opens her eyes and looks at Suze, who is doing the same thing.

Kate hears Coco and Max snarling at each other. They’re tugging on a stick they both want. She takes away the stick, and they run off together.

“Just like us,” says Suze.

“So, we’re good?” asks Kate.

“We’re good.” Suze loops her hand through Kate’s arm as they walk along the trail. “I’m sorry too, Kate. I know I was really hard on you and didn’t cut you any slack. You know, when I thought about it, I did remember you bragging about Oma seeing an angel when we were little.”

“I found Oma’s daughter. We spent a few days together, but she didn’t want to stay in contact with me because it started causing family problems. It’s a way longer story, but that’s for another day.”

“I’m sorry, Kate.”

“It’s OK. I wanted the truth, and I got it. You know, I don’t blame you for going to the board to save the fundraiser. In fact, I’ll resign completely from the nonprofit. I know I’m a liability.”

Suze doesn’t say anything.

When they get back to their cars, Kate says, “Wait a minute. I’ve got something for you.” She hands Suze an envelope with the photos Kelli printed. “These are pictures from the Resistance Memorial Center in Berlin. They’re from the Jewish resistance exhibit.”

“Thanks. Why did you print them?”

“So Bubbie can see them. I know she can’t see pictures on a phone or laptop.”