Page 18 of Who We Think We Are

B ubbie is feeding Grandad when Kate arrives at his place. Suze is there with Anne and Arela. Kate swallows hard and stiffens up but pretends everything is normal. Suze won’t look at her.

“Well, you’re all a sight for sore eyes,” says Kate. “You’re a lucky guy to score some of Tante Arela’s homemade pudding,” she adds, kissing Grandad on the forehead.

“Would you like some, Kate?” asks Tante Arela.

“Well, normally I would say no, but today I will say yes. Thanks! Don’t get up, I can serve myself. Does anybody else want some?” They all shake their heads no, and Kate notices a stack of bowls with evidence of chocolate in the kitchen sink. “Aha! I see you’ve already had some.”

“Your horrible mother and your dad left about half an hour ago,” says Anne.

“Don’t call Kate’s mother horrible, Anne,” says Bubbie.

“It’s alright, Bubbie,” says Kate. “That’s how we refer to my mother. It provides comic relief.”

“Well, it is not respectful,” says Bubbie.

“You’re not wrong there. But it is accurate. I expected them to be here. Their shift isn’t over yet.”

“Your mother was so relieved when we got here; she couldn’t wait to leave,” says Anne. “She said you were incredibly rude to leave them here alone for so long. With Grandad asleep, there was nothing for them to do.”

“They were here for five hours. Their shift is six hours,” says Kate.

“You don’t have to defend yourself. We know her,” says Anne. “We told her we’d stay until you, Jake, or Kelli got here.”

“Thanks so much, all of you.” Kate looks at them all, including Suze, who still won’t make eye contact.

“Don’t be silly. We love Grandad, and you love us, don’t you, Les?” says Bubbie as she gives Grandad his last spoonful of pudding.

“I do, Rachel. Thanks for coming. I need to go to sleep now,” says Grandad, closing his eyes.

As everyone kisses Grandad goodbye and puts on their coats, Anne pulls Kate aside and whispers, “Suze and I would like to be in the twenty-four-hour vigil.”

“But she’s mad at me,” says Kate.

“She sure as hell is. But she’s not mad at Grandad.”

“OK, talk to Jake, then. I think it’s best if I stay out of it. And thanks.”

“It’s an argument, Kate, not the end of a lifelong relationship, and you’re welcome.” Anne gives Kate a hug. “Oh, your dad said Grandad slept the whole time and didn’t eat anything until we got here.”

As everyone leaves, Kate thanks them all for coming. She and Suze never spoke to each other, but at least Suze was there. Kate feels oddly hopeful that all is not lost.

“You can open your eyes now, Grandad. They’re gone,” she says, but Grandad doesn’t open his eyes and sleeps until about 10:00 p.m.

When he wakes up, he croaks, “I’m thirsty.”

Kate gives him some juice, and he has a few pieces of dark chocolate.

Then, he falls back asleep until the next morning.

Stephen drops by before Grandad wakes up and says, “I know it seems like your grandfather is getting better to you, but don’t kid yourself.

He has really only eaten chocolate and drank juice, other than the bit of oatmeal and egg he had.

You need to try to get him to eat some more, Kate, if you can. This is not going to help him live.”

When Grandad wakes up, Kate feeds him a banana.

He likes it so much that he eats another, and over the course of the day, Kate feeds him more of his favorites—soup, oatmeal, eggs, yogurt—not taking no for an answer.

Between meals, he sleeps. While he sleeps, Kate pulls out her laptop and researches the Nazi program Lebensborn.

The following day is Canadian Thanksgiving.

Jake, Kelli, and Paige cook a turkey dinner and bring it to Grandad’s.

Grandad is feeling a bit stronger, and while they have turkey dinner at the small table, Kate feeds Grandad his favorite parts: stuffing, mashed potatoes, dark meat with lots of gravy, and brussels sprouts.

Paige and Kelli tell stories and entertain the adults, which brings a delightful infusion of youth and vitality into the room.

That night, as Grandad sleeps, Kate looks through Oma’s belongings, searching for some clues to Oma’s past. When she opens Oma’s jewelry box, a memory comes flooding back to her.

She is a little girl, around five or six. She and Oma are going through Oma’s jewelry box, looking at all the pretty and sparkly things. There is a little box inside. Kate opens it, and there is a lock of red hair tied together with a pink ribbon.

“Whose hair is this, Oma?” asks Kate.

“It is the hair of an angel, popje.”

“You met an angel?”

“Yes, I did. We had a couple of days together. Now, let’s put that carefully back in the box. It is very precious.”

Kate remembers that, for a long time, she thought all angels had red hair. And she remembers bragging to Suze that Oma knew an angel in real life.

But now, there is no smaller box and no lock of red hair anywhere to be found. Is the memory real? The next day, when Suze and Anne arrive for their shift, Kate asks Suze, “Do you remember me bragging to you about Oma knowing an angel in real life when we were around five or six?”

Suze says, “No, I don’t. And I’m not talking with you about this or anything until you take responsibility. Anne and I are here for Grandad, not for you.”

Kate says, “Fine, Suze. Have it your way. I just wondered if you remembered. I’ll leave now, and one of the others will relieve you later.”

As she drives home, Kate takes the long way to give herself some time.

She drives along the waterfront and through the rainforest in the university endowment lands.

Her feelings are hurt, but she tries to get past that.

Kate understands that she should have told Suze earlier and should have trusted her, but she has apologized for those things.

She’s not sure what else Suze wants. Hopefully, she’ll come around. Why is Suze so unrelenting in her rage?