Page 20 of Who We Think We Are

“Wow, Dad,” says Paige. “That was impressive. You had a whole conversation with Mom, and she didn’t have to say a word!”

They all laugh.

“Yes, I’m going back to the Netherlands.

My friend Mikelia is going to do the search with me.

I don’t know what I’ll find out. Maybe the baby did die, but I can’t just leave it.

I feel like I owe it to Oma to find out the truth.

Actually, Grandad said something profound to me this afternoon.

Let’s see if I can remember it. ‘You may have all the facts, but that doesn’t mean you have the truth.

’ Something like that. I want the truth.

Oma lived in a completely different time than we do and had to make choices we can’t fathom. I want to understand her.”

“When are you leaving?” asks Paige.

“In a few days. I don’t know exactly. I haven’t bought my ticket yet.”

“And how are we paying for all of this, Kate?” asks Jake. “I’ve lost track of how many times you’ve flown back and forth.”

“I told you this before, Jake. Air miles and points.”

“And what about work?” asks Jake. “What do they think of you taking all this time off?”

“I’ll let Bob Brown know I need more time. What is he going to do? Fire me?”

“Mom,” says Kelli.

“Kelli,” says Kate.

“Do you remember we all took DNA tests a few years ago?” asks Kelli.

“I do remember that. Why?”

“Good thinking, Kelli!” says Paige.

“I still get emails saying they found a DNA relative,” says Kelli. “I can go through all your DNA matches on the website to see if there is anyone in Germany who seems like they could be your aunt or uncle. That’s something I can do for you from here.”

“I never thought of it that way. You’re right. Oma’s baby would be my aunt or uncle. Thanks, sweetheart. That could really help!” says Kate. “Maybe that person is looking for Oma, too. The baby was born in December 1942.

“Jake, you said you could work from home, so you’ll be here for the next few weeks or so?”

“I’ll be here. I can see you’re all getting excited about this, but I have to say, I wish you’d stay here too. I know you’re going, but I just have to remind you that you have a life here, too.”

“I know, Jake, but I have to see this through. Then I’ll be home.”

“I’ll be here too,” says Paige. “I can work on my dissertation from here. I don’t really have to go back to Montreal until January.”

“Well then, I’ll get this done and get back home as soon as I can so I can hang out with you guys. Thanks for your support. At least one of you will visit Grandad every day while I’m gone?” They all nod. “Thanks. I’ve got to go back to Grandad’s now. You’ll clean up?”

“Yes, Mom!” say Kelli and Paige at the same time.

“And don’t put the silver and wine glasses in the dishwasher.”

“Oh my God, Mom!” says Paige. “I’ve been living with these dishes and silver for my entire life. I’ve got it down!”

“Are you sure you want to put yourself through all of this, Kate?” asks Jake. “You don’t know what you’re going to find. You might not like what you learn, or you could be disappointed.”

“Have you ever heard the story about the dog with the bone, Dad?” asks Paige. “Why do you keep trying to stop her? She’s gonna go. You might as well accept that and wish her well.”

“You’re right, Paige. I might as well get on board. That’s good advice.”

“I’m leaving for Grandad’s.” Kate kisses the girls on the cheek and Jake on the lips.

“Wait a minute, everyone,” says Kelli. “Mom, sit back down. This is important.”

Kate obeys and sits back down.

“Think about this conversation and crazy meal with takeout food on GG’s fine china.

About how much you both love us. After all, Dad, you adopted us after our birth dad died.

And think about how much we love both of you.

We’re a wonky little family who love each other like crazy.

All that was taken away from Oma and her child.

“That’s why what Mom’s doing is so important, Dad.

She’s doing this for Oma and her child, too.

If he or she is alive in the world, they never got to know what an amazing mother they had.

They’ll never know who their father was.

But at least they can know who their mother was and know about her.

I’m so proud of you, Mom. You go out there and dig up the truth.

You might change someone’s life in the process.

Hell, you’re changing all our lives in the process. ”

Kate, Jake, and Paige are all crying.

“Thank you, Kelli,” says Kate. “I have never been more proud of you than in this moment, and that is saying a lot because I’m always proud of you.

Both of you. You’re taking this to a deeper level than I was.

No surprise there. But now you’ve given me even more reason to go on this mission other than being a damned stubborn person who doesn’t take no for an answer. Thank you.”

“Group hug!” says Paige. They all stand up and form a tight circle, arms around each other.

Jake says, “Our two beautiful daughters, Kate. We can always rely on them to make us laugh and cry. I am so in love with and proud of all three of my girls.”

“Women, Dad! Not girls!” says Paige.

“I love you all,” says Kate, laughing and wiping the tears from her eyes. “But I’ve got to go to Grandad’s. I’m late for my shift.”

When Kate walks into Grandad’s room, he is asleep.

Suze says, “You’re late.”

“Oh, lighten up, sweetheart,” says Anne. “You only care because you’re already mad at her. Hi, Kate.”

“Sorry I’m late. Has Grandad eaten?”

“Only chocolate and some soup they brought him,” says Anne.

“Suze, I’ve been thinking,” says Kate. “Would it help you if you came to the Netherlands with me, and we could figure out the truth together?”

“Oh God, here we go!” says Anne. “You have clearly not been thinking, Kate. Or at least not thinking about what Suze needs.”

“It’s OK, champion, I can speak for myself,” says Suze.

“No, Kate. That will not help me. Let me be very clear, and I cannot emphasize this enough: this is your mission, not mine. I know you’ve been through a lot in the past few months, and for that, I’m sorry.

But you inviting me along on your journey does not constitute you owning the impact of your choices on me, my family, and the nonprofit.

“You go and do what you need to do. Because, at this point, you are a liability to the nonprofit and to the PR campaign, which starts in six weeks, by the way. You need to take action to mitigate the damage. Otherwise, I will have to tell the board what’s happening so they have time to make other plans. ”

“And what action do you suggest I take, oh self-righteous one?” asks Kate.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care,” says Suze. “You’re the one who said you would figure it out on your own.”

“Alright, that’s enough, both of you!” says Anne. “Let’s not make this worse by saying things you can’t take back. Suze, let’s get going. Goodbye, Kate. Goodbye, Grandad.”

After they’ve left, Grandad opens his eyes and says, “You shouldn’t have called her self-righteous, Katie.”

“I know. But she is self-righteous sometimes.”

“True,” says Grandad. “And so are you. But you don’t have to say everything you think.”

“That’s easy for you to say.”

“Easy for me to say, but not easy to do. Can you imagine all the things I have wanted to say to your horrible mother all these years?”

“Why didn’t you? It would have helped me.”

“No, it wouldn’t have. I said what I had to when she would go too far, but for some inexplicable reason, my son loves her, and she gave me you, so I keep the peace.”

“You called her my horrible mother, Grandad!” says Kate, laughing. “I’ve never heard you say that before.”

“My point exactly. I have a saying I made up years ago: Would you rather have your say or be heard?”

“Wise words to live by, old man.”

After Grandad has eaten a yogurt, two bananas, and some chocolate, he falls asleep again. Kate pulls out her laptop, makes a reservation to fly to Amsterdam on October 17, and sends an email to Bob Brown at Canamine:

Hi Bob,

I need to take more time off for my family emergency. Text, call, or email me if you need anything.

Kate.

Kate then texts Mikelia: “Can you meet me in The Hague on Oct 18?”

Mikelia replies: “Yes!”

Two days later, when Kate’s plane takes off from Vancouver, flies over the ocean, and circles back around the city to head to Europe, she marvels at the beauty of her hometown.

Things reveal how they fit together when you have distance from them.

Wait a minute. Did I just have a profound thought?

Maybe Kelli is rubbing off on me. Kate chuckles, opens her laptop, and starts doing research on where to start when she gets to The Hague.