Page 5

CHAPTER FIVE

ETHAN

“H ey, E, there’s something here for you,” Maya called from the doorway.

I groaned, rolling off my bed and trudging toward the living room. She walked in, carrying a sleek black box in her hands, her eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Thanks,” I muttered, taking it and feeling its unexpected weight.

I shrugged, walking over to the couch and sitting down. The box was unmarked—no brand, no logo—but a card was tucked neatly into the side. I pulled it out, Maya sitting beside me like she was settling in for a movie.

It’s not a bribe. I just thought it’d look good on you.

Answer your fucking phone.

A smile tugged at the corner of my lips despite myself. Folding the card, I slipped it into my pocket and exhaled, letting the box rest on my lap.

“What is it?” Maya asked, nudging me lightly.

“I don’t know. I’m not sure I want to open it,” I admitted, my fingers brushing over the smooth edges.

“Why? Who’s it from?”

I hesitated. Sebastian had been calling nonstop since Friday, his name lighting up my screen like a persistent reminder of the things I didn’t want to deal with. I’d been dodging him, but I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever.

Finally, I glanced at Maya. She was watching me with an expression that said she wasn’t going anywhere until I spilled.

“Sebastian Langley.”

Her eyes widened comically. “What? Why?”

I leaned back, letting my head rest against the couch, closing my eyes against the inevitable flood of questions.

“I’ve already told you why,” I muttered.

Maya gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. “E, has he been hitting on you this whole time?”

I nodded, sighed, and turned to face her. “You can’t tell anybody about this, Maya. Nobody. Promise me.”

Her expression sobered. “I promise. Is there something going on? Is that why you were so mad at him?”

“Nothing is going on between us,” I said, running a hand through my hair. “Yet.”

Maya’s jaw dropped. “Oh my God, Ethan, are you serious?”

“No. I have no idea what to do.”

“But you’re considering it?”

I rubbed my knuckles over my lips, biting down on the skin before nodding reluctantly. “Yeah, I am. Or at least I’m not flat-out refusing him. I did at first, but then we talked on Friday.”

Her brows shot up. “When did you even talk to him? Is that why you disappeared?”

I nodded again.

Taking a deep breath, I looked down at the box. It felt like it was holding more than just a gift—like it carried the weight of a decision I wasn’t ready to make. Slowly, I lifted the lid.

Inside was a thin gold bracelet, its rounded links catching the light. It was understated, yet expensive-looking—undeniably him. I held it out for Maya, and she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand as her eyes grew wide.

“Ethan, what the heck?” she whispered, taking it from me to inspect it more closely.

I leaned back, exhaling sharply. “This is so like him. It’s like he’s branding me,” I said, taking it back and holding it in my palm. After a moment, I set it back in the box and pushed it to the far end of the table, as though distance might lessen its weight.

“E, how old is he?” Maya asked softly, cautiously.

My stomach dropped. “Thirty-four,” I said, meeting her gaze.

“I can’t believe you’re considering this,” she whispered.

“Believe me, neither can I. If you met him, you’d understand. It’s like…you can’t refuse him.” I groaned, throwing my arm over my face to block the light. “Can you please tell me what to do? I can’t make this choice. Tell me I’m insane.”

“You are insane,” she replied without missing a beat. “I didn’t even know you were into guys.”

“Trust me, neither did I.” Putting a pin on my sexual confusion was easier. Focusing solely on who he was and why this was such a bad idea rather than what this said about me. Was I supposed to pick a label now?

“So, it’s just him?”

I peeked at her from under my arm and nodded. “He calls me ‘darling,’” I admitted.

Maya pressed her lips together before bursting into laughter. I couldn’t help but laugh along with her, rubbing my hands over my face and nudging her with my foot.

“I can’t do this.” I grabbed my phone, staring at it before glancing back at her.

“What?”

“I’ll call him, and you can listen in and tell me if I’m insane or not.”

She laughed again, shaking her head. “Ethan, I can’t tell you that.”

“Please,” I begged. “I can’t do it alone.”

With a resigned sigh, she nodded. I searched for Sebastian’s number, my fingers trembling lightly as I pressed the call button. Holding the phone between us, we waited as it rang, my stomach twisting itself into tighter and tighter knots.

“So, was it the gift that did it?” Sebastian’s voice came through, smooth and teasing.

Maya’s eyes widened as she clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle a squeal.

“I needed a little time. It’s not unreasonable,” I told him, trying to keep my voice steady.

“Is that what you needed? Just asking for the next time I overwhelm you.” His tone was dripping with playful arrogance.

“That’s what I needed.”

“But you liked the gift?”

I glanced at Maya. She was practically vibrating with excitement, leaning closer with a grin stretched across her face.

“Yeah, Sebastian, I liked the gift. It wasn’t necessary, but thank you.”

He clicked his tongue. “I can’t be on safe ground if you’re still calling me by my name. Tell me, darling, what exactly do I have to do to get you to warm up to me?”

Maya sank into the couch dramatically, pretending to swoon. I stifled a laugh as she mouthed So hot .

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.

“But you’re calling,” he pointed out, the smugness evident in his voice. “So, at the very least, you wanted to hear my voice.”

“I just thought it would be rude if I didn’t,” I said, which earned me a low chuckle.

Maya bit down on her knuckle, shaking with silent laughter.

“Are you going to let me see you?”

My stomach did an uncomfortable flip.

“I promise it’ll be out in the open. I won’t come closer if you don’t want me to.”

Taking a deep breath, I glanced at Maya for help. She nodded vigorously.

“I thought you were supposed to be discreet. How are you going to manage ‘out in the open’ and discreet at the same time?”

“Why don’t you let me worry about the logistics? You just need to tell me yes or no.”

I closed my eyes. “If I say no, are you actually going to back off?”

Maya elbowed me in the ribs, making me smother a laugh.

“Ethan, we both know you don’t want to say no.” His voice dipped into that dangerously attractive tone that made my chest tighten. “And you already know I’m dying to see you, so could you just put us both out of our misery and say yes?”

Maya started fanning herself, nodding like her life depended on it.

“Say yes,” he insisted, more commanding now.

“Fine,” I said, trying to sound annoyed.

He chuckled softly. “I was hoping for a more enthusiastic response, but I guess that’ll do.”

“Are you free tonight?” I asked, scrunching my nose in embarrassment.

Maya’s eyebrows shot up, her mouth forming a perfect O .

“I’m always free for you,” he replied.

I rolled my eyes. “That’s such a line.”

He laughed.

“And it’s not true,” I pointed out.

“You’re right. It’s not. But I happen to be free today. I’ll come pick you up at eight.”

I sank deeper into the couch, and Maya tried to mimic my posture, grinning like an idiot. I glanced at my watch—it was already six.

“Okay.”

“See you in a bit, darling. Don’t disappear on me again.”

“See you,” I murmured and hung up.

“Oh my gosh, Ethan!” Maya squealed, grabbing my shirt and shaking me like a rag doll.

I buried my face in my hands, turning face down on the couch. “I should cancel, right? I can’t see him,” I said, starting to panic.

“Don’t you dare!” Maya shot back. “That man has the sexiest voice on the planet. Please go out with him, please sleep with him, and please, for the love of God, tell me all about it. I need to live vicariously through you.”

I laughed despite myself, then groaned again, running my hands through my hair. “What am I going to wear? I don’t even know where we’re going.”

“This is too good.” Maya dissolved into giggles. “I can’t believe you’re actually going through with this.”

“You heard him. It’s not just me, right?”

Maya shook her head, still laughing. “I’m amazed you can carry on a conversation with him. I’d just drool on the phone. It’s so weird listening to you two talk.”

“Why?”

“You don’t sound like you’re having an existential crisis. You sound like you’ve known him for years, like teasing and joking.”

“That’s him. He makes it easy. I was terrified to talk to him at first, but he made it effortless.”

She smiled. “I can’t believe you’re going to date Sebastian Langley.”

That didn’t sit quite right. “I don’t think it’s dating, Maya. Sebastian doesn’t date. I’m not sure what we’re doing, but I’m sure it doesn’t qualify as ‘dating.’”

Her smile faded slightly. “And you’re okay with that? What is he going to be then? Your...friend with benefits?”

“No idea.”

“Hey,” she said, suddenly serious. “Is that why you’ve been on another planet these past few weeks?”

I shrugged again.

Honestly, even though it was a total mindfuck, Sebastian was a great distraction. I’d gotten an extension to delay choosing my major, but I hadn’t told my parents yet. I kept telling myself I’d do the research, explore my options, pick something—anything. But letting my mind drift to Sebastian was so much easier than figuring out what the hell I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

“College stuff,” I said vaguely.

She gave me that look—the one that made it clear she was disappointed in my lack of communication skills. Well, get in line.

“Come on, help me find something decent to wear,” I urged, grabbing her hand and dragging her back to my room.

As I rifled through my wardrobe, Maya kept up the questions, and eventually, I spilled everything. It was a relief to finally unload the Sebastian obsession on someone else.

By the time Sebastian called to say he was downstairs, I was dressed and fussing with my hair in the mirror. Maya gave me a thumbs-up, assuring me I looked great, but the nerves didn’t let up.

Taking a steadying breath, I grabbed my phone and headed out the door.

My heart lodged in my throat as I stepped onto the street, scanning for Sebastian’s car.

I jumped when a sleek black SUV slid up beside me, its windows tinted dark. The passenger window lowered, revealing him.

“Hello, darling,” Sebastian greeted me.

I opened the door and slid into the seat beside him. “Hey,” I said simply, buckling my seat belt.

His gaze settled on me as I adjusted myself, and the weight of it made me shift in my seat. When I glanced at him, he was leaning back, a small smile playing on his lips, watching me like he had all the time in the world.

“What?” I asked, unable to bear the silence.

“Is this for my benefit?” He gestured toward me.

My face burned instantly. “What?” I feigned ignorance, even though I knew exactly what he meant.

His deep-brown eyes scanned me slowly, from my face to my lap, then back to my hair. “You look fucking fantastic.”

I looked away. “Thanks,” I mumbled.

“Not that you don’t always look amazing, but I’ve never seen you dress up. It’s nice—you look nice,” he said quickly, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. It was almost funny seeing him unsettled for once.

“Are you okay?” I asked, unable to hide my amusement.

He chuckled softly. “Yes, I’m fine. Just exercising self-control,” he replied with a loud exhale.

I smiled, the tension easing slightly. “What happened to your car?”

“The windows are darker in this one. It’s Henry’s,” he said, starting to drive.

“So, he knows about this?”

“He knows.”

“You tell Henry everything,” I complained. “It’s a little problematic. He’s always making fun of me now.”

Sebastian laughed. “He makes fun of everyone—that’s just Henry. He might not seem trustworthy, but he is the least judgmental person I know. And anyway, he knows me too well to hide anything from him. Why try?”

“Do you think you could refrain from telling him about this?”

He glanced at me, stopping at a red light. “Tell him what?” he teased, his tone all innocence.

I shook my head and looked away. “You’re so fucking infuriating,” I mumbled, which only made him laugh again.

His hand landed on my knee, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. He tightened his grip before moving it to the gearshift. It seemed like an absent gesture, but it set my nerves on fire. Nothing Sebastian did was without calculation.

“I won’t tell him about it if you don’t want me to. But honestly, even if I denied it, he’d still think something was going on,” he said, glancing at me knowingly.

He wasn’t wrong.

* * *

The drive ended in the basement parking of a high-rise. He led me through a private elevator and the kitchen of a restaurant, emerging into a separate dining room set up with a single table and a terrace overlooking the city. Soft music played in the background, and a server stood ready.

I sat down, suddenly feeling awkward and out of place.

Sebastian ordered a whiskey and looked at me expectantly. “Anything for you?”

I shook my head, and the server left. Sebastian leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table as he studied me.

“You hate it,” he said.

“What? No. I don’t,” I lied, and his knowing nod made my face heat up.

“Is it being here with me, or is it the place?”

I sighed, glancing around. He’d obviously gone to a lot of trouble, but it felt…too much. Too adult. Too polished.

“It’s fine,” I said, waving it off.

He leaned back, lifting his brow. “A little bit of both?”

I hesitated before admitting. “It’s just…uncomfortable. I’m sorry. This whole thing is already hard, and this place feels like...” I trailed off, unsure how to articulate it. “I just feel really out of place.”

The server returned with his drink as Sebastian nodded thoughtfully.

Sebastian turned to him. “Could you help us with something? We’d like to move out to the terrace. Could we just move a couple of chairs and whatever table you have? It doesn’t have to be big.”

My face burned hotter. “It’s fine, really,” I protested.

He ignored me, smiling at the server as they worked to rearrange everything outside. When it was ready, he waved me over, and I followed him into the cool night air. The terrace overlooked the city, the sounds and breeze replacing the soft jazz from inside.

Sebastian poured me a glass of wine himself, then lit a cigarette. He smiled as I settled beside him.

“Is this better?”

“Yeah,” I admitted, my shoulders relaxing. “This is better.”

We sat in silence for a while, the glow of the city lights painting everything in gold and silver. I took out my vape, and we smoked quietly together.

Sebastian liked calling the shots. I knew this about him, but he also did things like this—being the provider, taking care of people. It felt odd being in this role. I was used to being the one asking a girl out, paying the bill, doing the whole dance. I never imagined being on this side of things. Sebastian made it even more pronounced—handling everything, picking me up, the gifts.

“Are you normally like this?” I asked after a while, breaking the silence.

“Like what?” He seemed genuinely curious.

“This…role you play.”

The corners of his lips turned upward. “I wouldn’t call it a role. It’s just the way I am.”

I nodded. That tracked.

“You do bring it out in me even more,” he added after a moment, taking a drag.

“Why?”

“Maybe the age difference.”

“I thought you were used to that,” I quipped, smirking.

He chuckled, exhaling a trail of smoke. “Not like this. I’m used to an age difference, but not this big of a gap. I’m not used to dating nineteen-year-olds.”

My heart skipped a beat. Dating ?

“So, what are we doing here?”

“Spending time together,” he replied simply.

“Is that it?”

“For now, yes. That’s it.”

I fiddled with the stem of my glass. “What if I change my mind? Decide I don’t want anything further than this?”

He shrugged. “Then you change your mind.”

The simplicity of his answer threw me. I took another sip of wine, gathering the courage to ask what had been gnawing at me.

His eyes met mine, holding my gaze as if he sensed its importance.

“I need to ask you something.” I swallowed hard. “I’m not sure what this is or if things will change between us, but...”

“Yes?” he prompted.

“While…whatever this is, is going on, I need you not to fuck around with other people,” I said quietly, my voice lacking the force I wanted.

Sebastian’s smile spread slowly. “You are jealous.”

I nodded, looking him in the eye. “I’m not into sharing. It’s a deal-breaker for me, even if nothing is happening yet. It can be a deal-breaker for you too—I get that.”

He took a long drag, then extinguished the cigarette.

Extending his hand over the table, he said, “Come on.”

After a moment’s hesitation, I placed my hand in his.

He intertwined his fingers with mine. “It’s not unreasonable. If it’s a deal-breaker for you, then I won’t do it.”

I stared down at our hands, warmth spreading through me.

“You really want to have sex with me that badly?” I joked, and he laughed heartily.

I smiled, watching him.

There it was—Sebastian’s genuine laugh. I’d caught him off guard, and he hadn’t had time to compose a more measured response. I chuckled along, and soon we were both laughing. He released my hand and playfully ruffled my hair.

I pushed his hand away.

“I’ve already told you that I do,” he said, his grin wide.

Our food arrived, and we chatted and drank. Sebastian stayed true to his word and didn’t make any moves.

When we finished, he gestured for us to move our chairs closer together. Settling beside him, I tried to relax, but my body tensed as soon as his arm draped over my shoulders.

“What are you doing?” I asked, side-eyeing him.

“Getting you used to me,” he said with a smirk. He laughed when he caught the face I made. “You jump a foot in the air every time I touch you.”

I looked away, focusing on the city lights in the distance as I took a slow drag from my vape and he lit another cigarette. My heart was pounding too fast to feel comfortable. “Maybe it’s because I don’t want you to,” I said quietly after a moment.

Sebastian hummed. “I don’t think that’s true.” His hand slid lower, his thumb tracing over the bare skin of my arm. Goosebumps rose instantly. “I think it’s the opposite,” he added, his voice soft but sure.

I exhaled heavily, rubbing my face with one hand. “This is so weird,” I muttered.

“Is it really so foreign to you? Being attracted to a man?”

“Yes,” I admitted, my voice barely audible.

“Well, you’re in college. It’s a time to experiment.”

I chuckled at his matter-of-fact tone. “I thought that only applied to girls,” I said, bringing the vape back to my lips.

“Why should it? It’s okay for a girl to explore these things, but a man can’t? It doesn’t have to define you, you know.”

I shrugged, a scowl forming as I looked out over the city. “It feels like it does,” I muttered. “And it’s not like you know what you’re talking about. Haven’t you always known?”

“Yes, I have,” he admitted. “But it was different when I was your age. I tried denying it, even had a girlfriend.”

I turned to him, startled. “Seriously?”

He nodded, smiling at my reaction. “It didn’t last, obviously,” he said with a laugh.

Sebastian brought the cigarette to his lips, holding it differently than I was used to seeing—not like a joint or a vape. His fingers extended gracefully, the cigarette balanced between his index and middle fingers. With a practiced flick of his thumb, he sent the ashes away. Somehow, even this simple act looked elegant when he did it.

When his hand moved slightly, I found myself reaching out without thinking, my fingers brushing his wrist. He looked at me, curiosity flickering in his eyes.

“Can I try it?” I asked.

His lips parted in surprise, but he nodded. He didn’t hand it over, though—I hadn’t expected him to. Instead, he brought it close to me. Leaning in, I closed my lips around it, inhaling the smoke deeply. My hand rested on his wrist, steadying it until I was done. As I exhaled, I noticed how close he’d stayed, his gaze fixed intently on my lips.

“How was that?” he asked, his eyes meeting mine.

I shrugged. “It’s okay. Tastes weird.”

“Of course it tastes weird. You’re used to smoking minty watermelon,” he teased, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

He tightened his arm around my shoulders, sending a sharp jolt through me. Leaning in, his gaze scanned my face, lingering. His fingers flicked the cigarette away before reaching up to my chin, tilting it upward.

I froze, unable to breathe, as his thumb traced soft patterns on my arm. He seemed frozen too, his face close enough that I could feel the warmth of his breath.

A smile tugged at my lips as I realized what he was doing. “Are you waiting for me to ask you to do it?”

Sebastian’s lips curved into a smile, and he nodded. “That’s exactly right,” he whispered, his voice almost daring me.

I glanced at his lips, parted slightly, his intent so clear it made my heart pound. The pull between us was magnetic, but I shook my head, meeting his gaze again.

“No,” I said softly.

His lips pressed together, a quiet laugh escaping him. He leaned back, giving me space, and I finally remembered how to breathe.

“Okay, then,” he said, his voice calm as he took a deep breath.

I bit my lip, guilt creeping in. “I’m sorry, Ash,” I offered.

“It’s okay,” he repeated, his tone reassuring. “I can wait,” he added, tightening his arm around my shoulders.

Sure, he could wait.

But for how long?

* * *

The drive home was quiet, punctuated only by small, casual comments. He mentioned he’d be leaving the city in a couple of days, a fact that lingered in my mind. When we reached my building, he leaned over and kissed my cheek.

Back in my room, I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the black box on my nightstand. After a moment, I opened it and slid the bracelet onto my wrist. The metal was cool against my skin.

It wasn’t something I’d ever have chosen for myself, but as I turned my wrist, watching it catch the light, I realized he’d been right.

I liked how it looked on me.