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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

ETHAN

“I still don’t get it,” I said as Henry pulled into a driveway, his faint smirk giving away his amusement.

“It’s a new club. Stop complaining and just come look at it with me,” he replied, his focus never straying from the road. “We’ll make it in time for the fitting.”

He found a parking spot and turned off the engine.

“We have to be there at five,” I reminded him, unbuckling my seatbelt and fussing with my hair in the visor mirror.

“Can you stop? You’re not seeing Ash until later,” Henry said with an exaggerated eye roll.

I scowled, slamming the car door behind me. We made our way toward a service elevator, and Henry led us all the way up to the top floor. The building was far from finished—bare walls, concrete floors—but the windows were in, offering a view that was already stunning in daylight. At night, it would be spectacular.

Henry turned, his expression unimpressed. “Meh.”

“Are you serious?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It feels like déjà vu in here. Nothing new.” He wandered through the space. “What do you think?”

“It’s impressive,” I admitted.

Henry gestured dismissively. “It’s just a rooftop with a view. Who hasn’t seen that before?”

“I’m not sure if you’re messing with me or not,” I confessed, earning a laugh.

“I think I’m done with New York,” he said suddenly.

I blinked at the unexpected shift in tone.

“This is the fifth location I’ve checked out, and I’m still not sold. I’ve gotten a couple of recommendations for South Beach, one for West Hollywood,” he added with a casual shrug.

“So why not go for those?”

“I know New York,” Henry said, a rare honesty cutting through his usual bravado. “I don’t know how far my name will carry me outside of it.”

“I never would’ve pegged you as someone who plays it safe.”

“You’re right, I’m not. But it’s different when you take the safety blanket off.” He gave me a pointed look. “Look at Ash. He’s the ballsiest motherfucker I know, and even he hasn’t set foot outside the company.”

“He’s never worked anywhere else?”

Henry shook his head. “Not even for internships. He always wanted to take over. Dad groomed him for it. Only recently changed his mind.”

“Ash?” I prodded.

Henry kept walking, scanning the space critically. “Both of them, I guess.” He paused, then nodded decisively. “I’m calling it off. I’m not feeling it.”

“What do you mean they changed their minds?”

Henry shot me a flat look. “Sometimes, I think you’re just using me to get intel on Ash. Can we focus on me for five minutes before you obsess over your boyfriend?”

I rolled my eyes, a guilty flush creeping up my neck. “If you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it. It’s your business, Henry. You know best.”

Henry nodded, satisfied, and headed back toward the elevator. “Let’s grab a drink before the tailor,” he said, pulling out his phone.

During the drive, he called someone—likely the owner or Realtor of the property. The entire conversation was a mix of pointed questions about the space, location, and traffic flow.

It caught me off guard. Henry was still himself—making jokes, laughing loudly—but there was a sharpness in the way he spoke, an expertise in his field I hadn’t expected. Sometimes I forgot he was Sebastian’s brother.

At the bar, where Henry seemed to know everyone by name, he got us a table immediately despite the crowd. Drinks appeared without us ordering—two gin and tonics, one presumably lighter on the tonic.

“Can I ask you something?” I said, finishing my first drink as Henry rambled about whether to visit the Miami location.

“If it’s not about Ash, sure,” he replied with a grin.

“Why bring me to see the place? Why not your brother? Or someone who knows more about the business?”

Henry took a sip of his drink, unbothered. “I’m not expecting opinions from you, Ethan. I just wanted the company. If I were serious about it, I’d probably ask Oli. I can never get Ash to come—he’s never taken me seriously.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

Henry shrugged. “Ash thinks he’s so different from Dad because he’s gay and loud about it, but they’re the same person minus the conservative ideals. They both have this rigid idea of success, and nightclubs don’t fit into it.

“To them, I’m next to nothing. Did you know I have a bachelor’s from Harvard, just like Oli? An MBA from Wharton, just like Ash? I even interned at the company. But when I said I didn’t like where it was headed and went off-script, everything I’d done became worthless. I’m just the spoiled kid chasing a whim.”

“I had no idea.”

“Of course you didn’t. To you, I’m probably just Ash’s lapdog, the guy who gets into clubs easily. Good for laughs, bad for business,” he said, sarcasm lacing his words.

“I don’t think that at all,” I said firmly. “You’re not their lapdog. The three of you have an enviable relationship. And you’re allowed to go after what you want. Go check out Miami. If you’re running it, it’ll be a success. People cozy up to me just because they think I can get them into your clubs. It’s the place to be, apparently.”

Henry’s shoulders relaxed, and a small smile tugged at his lips. “You’re quite the cheerleader.”

“That’s what I get,” I said dryly, earning a laugh.

“Thanks, E. It’s easy to lose perspective. Sometimes, it feels like Oli’s the only one in my corner. It’s nice to know I’ve got another brother who feels that way.”

“Don’t call me your brother.”

“Sorry,” he said, lifting his hand to order another round.

I tapped my fingers on the table, debating how much alcohol I’d need to tackle the next part of the conversation. Ash had once told me Henry was the least judgmental person on the planet. Guess this was a great time to find out.

“I have another question. It’s personal.”

Henry gave me a nod, gesturing for me to go on.

My face flushed, and he snorted. “Are you going to ask me something sex-related?”

Sometimes, I really hated the Langleys. “Not if you’re going to be a dick about it,” I muttered.

Henry laughed, leaning forward on the table. “No, go on. I’m sorry. I’m just not used to being the one people come to for advice on this. I’m all ears,” he said, barely holding back a grin.

I took a deep breath. “How did you deal with coming to terms with your sexuality? Like, how did you accept it?”

Henry’s eyes widened, clearly not expecting that question. “Well, that’s...a bit complicated. And weird,” he said, scratching his chin. “Remember when I told you I’ve only walked in on Ash twice?”

I nodded.

“The first time was when I was fourteen, and Ash was back home from college. He wasn’t out yet—or at least, I had no idea. One night, I was walking toward the kitchen and heard something. I went into his room—which, yeah, I know, was a big no-no—and I caught him kissing a guy.

“It was a shock. They didn’t notice me at first, and...that image sort of got stuck in my head.

“Anyway, they saw me. Ash had a fit, yelled at me. But the next day, he calmed down and sat me down to talk about it. He explained everything. After that, it was like a switch flipped in my head. I started noticing I found men attractive too. I talked to Ash about it, and he walked me through it—the logistics, the feelings. Even though I wasn’t actually doing anything with anyone at the time, I knew I wanted to. I even told him when I kissed a guy for the first time.

“So, I guess to answer your question, Ash was the one who helped me come to terms with it. Weird as it might sound.”

“That is a little weird, but not unexpected,” I said, leaning back.

“After Mom died, Ash kind of turned into our parent. Support is all I’ve ever known from my brothers, but Ash and I...we’ve always had a different bond. I was used to confiding in him about everything, and eventually, that included all this. Somewhere along the way, he started confiding in me too. You probably know by now that Ash has certain preferences. It took him a lot to come to terms with those—like, to find his groove and actually ask for what he wanted. I’d like to think I helped with that too. No judgment.”

I blinked in surprise. “Maybe a little closer than I thought.”

Henry laughed again. “It’s not like I know the specifics. Some of it I just know because I know him—it’s sort of easy to tell. And, well, some of it I figured out...because I’ve slept with a guy he’s been with. That made it pretty obvious in the most awkward way imaginable.”

“Why?” I prodded.

Henry gave me an amused look. “I don’t want to scandalize you.”

“You say that, but your face is giving you away,” I said, finishing my drink as he laughed.

“Come on, E. You’re jealous. You don’t want to hear about it.”

“If you tell me, I’ll tell you something in return.”

Henry matched the smirk on my lips.

We got our drinks, and he held his glass up to mine. “Deal,” he said, clinking my glass. We both drank.

“We’re going to be drunk for that fitting. I’m calling it now,” he said with a grin. “Right, so—about two years ago, I met this guy. We hit it off, and I took him back to my apartment. Things were getting heated, and he let it slip that he knew Ash. Like, knew him knew him.”

I made a face. “Wasn’t that a turn-off?”

“I was a little drunk, and we were both naked in my bed. I was well past caring. Anyway, it gets worse. The sex wasn’t bad, just...incredibly out of sync. He kept expecting me to do something, and I had no idea what. Halfway through, I think he gave up. It got a little easier after that.

“When we were done, he told me he hadn’t expected me to be so sweet. Now, I don’t think I’m an asshole in that department, but I’ve definitely never been called sweet before. So, I asked him what he meant. That’s when he told me he was used to sex being a lot rougher with Ash. Like, a lot rougher. He said Ash liked tying him up, holding him down. It freaked me out at first, but he assured me it was all consensual.”

I blinked at him, stunned. “Wow.”

Henry chuckled but frowned at me. “Why are you surprised? You’re the one shacking up with him. Aren’t you into it, too?”

“Guess it’s my time to overshare.” I took another gulp of my drink. “We don’t actually do that.”

“What?” Henry asked, leaning closer, his face lighting up with excitement.

“He tried at first, but it kind of sucked for both of us. We’d end up fighting or getting frustrated because we couldn’t agree on...anything. But the last time we saw each other, he told me to forget about it. He said we should try something different. That...worked wonders,” I confessed.

Henry’s smile stretched into a wide grin. “You’re fucking kidding.”

“He’s also kind of weird about letting me participate, you know?”

Henry nodded emphatically. “Oh, I know. Chris kept expecting me to do everything. The guy couldn’t even manage a lousy hand job.”

“Ash kept shutting me down. Until last time—he finally caved. And it was...” I trailed off, catching Henry’s riveted expression. “Isn’t it weird?”

He chuckled, grabbing my vape and taking a drag. “I mean, conventionally, yeah, this is pretty fucking weird. But I’m used to it.”

“He didn’t want to finish. He just wanted me to,” I said quietly.

Henry leaned in closer. “Ash is such a fucking weirdo.”

I nodded. “I convinced him to let me, and...well, it was pretty great. I think,” I admitted.

Henry gave me an approving nod. “Way to go, E. I honestly think you have no idea the power you have over him. It’s insane how much you make him bend.”

“I don’t.”

Henry gave me a pointed look. “Ash thinks you’re the hottest man to ever walk the face of the earth. And, I mean, I’m not saying you’re not attractive—you clearly are. But you’re tailor-made for his tastes, and Ash is such a sucker for that. You could ask him for anything, and he wouldn’t be able to say no.”

I thought about that for a moment. “Except be in a relationship with me,” I muttered.

“Pretty much everything except that, E,” he said with a sympathetic shrug. “And honestly? You’ve been the closest anyone has gotten him there in a long time.”

“I don’t really think that’s true,” I said, taking another sip of my drink.

“You have him wrapped around your finger,” he insisted.

“No, I don’t.”

“No? Then test this—whenever you want to win an argument with him or get him to do something, just take your clothes off.”

I snorted. “That simple?”

“That fucking simple. I bet he won’t be able to say no,” he said confidently.

I shook my head. “I have another question.”

“Go on, Padawan.”

“About sex,” I said.

He smiled, sliding his elbows closer to the table.

“It’s...weird for me. I never even considered it, and Ash only wants it to go one way.”

“Yeah, he does,” Henry said, catching on immediately.

“How about you?”

Henry’s expression shifted, his humor fading into something more serious. He gave me a pained look and shook his head. “I don’t do it either.”

“How come?”

Henry sighed, leaning back in his chair. His hand went to the back of his neck, and for the first time, I saw him uncomfortable talking about something.

“I don’t have the best story for you, E. I don’t want to scare you off.”

“Please. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this.”

He drained his drink, stared at the table, then nodded. “I know it’s good, okay? I’m careful when I top, and I make sure it’s good. Just like Ash probably does. But...I had a really bad experience, and I’m a little traumatized. So, I don’t do it.”

“What happened?”

Henry looked away, visibly uncomfortable. He shook his head, then shrugged. I could tell I’d touched a nerve and was about to back off when he exhaled loudly and spoke.

“I was dating this guy—a friend of Oli’s from college—when I was still a senior in high school. I thought I was so fucking cool,” he said with a bitter laugh. “One night, he talked me into it. I’d never had sex with a guy before. He was this terrible combination of inexperience, a big dick, and way too many tequila shots. He didn’t prep me. Didn’t have lube or condoms. He just...went for it. I tried to tell him to stop. He kept saying it’d get better, but it hurt like hell the whole time.

“When he was done, I went home, realized how bad it was, and called Ash. I’ve never seen him that mad. He took me to the emergency room. A week later, I heard he and Oli beat the guy to a pulp. I never talked to him again, and his family didn’t press charges,” Henry said quickly, almost robotically, like he was trying to detach himself from the memory.

My stomach churned as I stared at him, horrified. “Shit, Henry. I’m so sorry. That sounds awful.”

“Yeah. It was. That’s why I’m not into inexperience. No offense,” he said, swallowing thickly, his leg bouncing under the table.

“None taken,” I said softly.

“It’s not like it’s always that bad. That guy was a brute. I’ve never hurt anybody like that, and from what I’ve heard, the guys Ash has slept with only sing his praises. I’m guessing he’s great at it. You don’t have to worry about that,” Henry said, clearly trying to move past the topic. He swirled the last of his drink before draining it.

“It’s not about me, though. I’m just really sorry that happened to you,” I said quietly.

Henry waved a hand dismissively. “It was a while ago. I’m fine,” he said, but his eyes didn’t meet mine. He cleared his throat and forced a smile back onto his face. “So, you still haven’t given it up?”

I had no idea how to transition past what he’d just shared, but it seemed like this was what he needed from me right now.

“I thought he wanted to,” I began, “when he came over to my place after the bridal shower thing. But he keeps telling me he wants me to be ready for it.”

After what Henry had just told me, it made sense. Ash really wasn’t into hurting people.

“And you’re not ready?”

“It’s still scary. I mean—” I paused, taking a deep breath. “You’re not going to tell him, right?”

“If you don’t want me to, no. I won’t say a word. You can count on that,” Henry said earnestly.

“I really like him,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

I thought Henry would crack a joke, but instead, he just gave me a small, encouraging smile and waited for me to continue.

“I like him a lot more than I thought I could. And every time we’re together, it gets worse. I want him. He’s...incredible at everything he does. But I don’t want him to just check me off his list. I know prolonging it isn’t going to solve anything—he’ll get bored eventually—but I figure I’ll get to keep him a little longer this way.”

“E, you know he wouldn’t quit you if he didn’t have to, right? I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. Ash really likes you. You’re just in a fucked-up situation.”

“He could have anyone he wanted. Someone who actually knows how to play his game and enjoys it. All I’ve given him so far are headaches and blue balls, probably,” I said, half-laughing at myself.

Henry chuckled at that. “And yet, he’s still chasing after you.”

“Yeah, because he hasn’t gotten what he wants yet.”

Henry shook his head firmly. “Ash isn’t that basic, E. I told you—he’s not done with people after he sleeps with them. He doesn’t have this endless list of conquests, either. When Ash likes someone, he keeps them around. He’s not serious about just one person, but he doesn’t just toss people aside. I’m sure he doesn’t want to end things with you. He probably even asked you to stay friends.”

A little pang of hope flickered in my chest. “Because we have to stay in each other’s lives,” I argued.

“No, because that’s how he is. When Ash says he’ll wait for years to see if you want another go, he means it. He won’t close that door on you.”

I leaned back in my chair, studying Henry’s honest expression. “Why are you so nice to me?”

Henry’s smile grew, looking more like himself again. “I like you, Ethan.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “I guess, out of all the things we’ve discussed, this might not be the most fucked-up thing you’ll hear today—but you remind me a lot of my best friend. You’re just like him when he was younger. Quick, observant, picking up on things as soon as they’re in the air. You’ve got a short fuse, you’re loyal to a fault, and you always need to know everything. You’re always trying to stay in control. You’re just like him, only without the pressure and the years of skepticism.”

“Your best friend?”

“You’re just like Ash,” Henry said.

My eyes widened.

“The more I get to know you, the more uncanny it is. I figured that’s why you two get along so well despite the age gap. You’re cut from the same cloth.”

“We’re not—” I started, shaking my head.

“I knew Ash when he was your age, Ethan. I know what I’m talking about. I’m not saying you’re the same person. Of course, you have differences. But you have a lot more in common than you realize. Ash is mesmerized by you, and you admire him. You even try to copy him in some ways. You both like how similar you are. He respects you because he understands you, and it’s the same for you—even if you haven’t realized it yet.”

I wanted to shake my head, but some of it made sense. It explained why we fought so easily. Why we were so in sync.

“That’s a little fucked up,” I mumbled.

Henry laughed, lifting his hand to signal for another round. “Come on, one more drink before we sober up and get presentable for the fitting,” he said, taking my vape and stealing a drag.

I wondered idly if Sebastian would have smoked these too if he were nineteen right now.