Page 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

ASH

T he plane landed just after seven, and by eight, I was stepping into my building. The city outside was alive with evening lights, the hum of traffic faint but steady.

As I reached for the elevator button, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Charlotte’s name flashed across the screen, her timing, as always, impeccably inconvenient.

“Hey,” I answered, stepping inside.

“Ash, perfect. I’m calling to invite you to dinner at our place next weekend. Just family,” she said cheerfully.

The elevator doors slid open to reveal my apartment, its soft lighting already casting a welcoming glow. I paused, scanning the room. For a moment, I thought Henry had beaten me home, but then I caught sight of Ethan on the terrace. His silhouette stood out against the glittering skyline, and a smile tugged at my lips.

“Next weekend?” I echoed into the phone, my gaze fixed on Ethan as he turned and spotted me.

I dropped my bag by the door and watched him walk inside, his smile tentative but warm. I pressed a finger to my lips to keep him from speaking and pointed to my earbuds. He nodded, that shy smile of his lingering as I resumed the conversation.

“Next Saturday, six o’clock,” Charlotte confirmed.

Ethan walked closer, his strides confident. He looked fantastic—effortlessly stylish in a way that felt new for him. Each time I saw him, it seemed like he was trying just a little harder. It was endearing. And dangerously effective.

“A week from tomorrow?” I asked Charlotte, though my attention was squarely on Ethan.

“That’s right. You’re heading out again this week, right?”

I turned my phone so Ethan could see her name on the screen. His face scrunched into a mock grimace, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Unfortunately, yes. I have to fly out on Monday,” I told her.

Ethan rolled his eyes dramatically, and I reached for his hand, pulling him closer. My palm settled on the nape of his neck.

“Are you tired from your trip?” she asked.

“I just have some things in the city I wish I had more time for,” I replied, winking at Ethan.

He looked down and tried to step away. I tightened my grip gently, making him face me again.

“Oli has his fitting on Friday. Can you make it?” Charlotte continued.

I patted the counter, gesturing for Ethan to sit. He scrunched his nose before hopping up, his hesitation disappearing into a shy grin.

“I’m sure Ari planned it so I could,” I said, stepping into the space between his legs. I placed my phone on the counter beside his thigh, switched it to speaker, and muted it.

“Hey,” Ethan said softly, a smile tugging at his lips.

I returned it before leaning in and kissing him. His hands found their way into my hair, holding me close as he parted his lips.

“It’s in the afternoon. I’ll forward the address and time just in case. Ethan and Henry are getting fitted too,” Charlotte said, her voice barely registering.

“I can help with that,” I murmured against his lips. His quiet laugh vibrated through me.

“You’ve got yours already, right?” Charlotte asked.

I unmuted the call briefly. “Yes, dear. It’ll be ready in a couple of weeks,” I assured her, then muted it again.

Ethan’s lips found their way to my jaw in the softest kiss imaginable—testing the waters.

“Help with what? Getting dressed?” Ethan teased, his tone playful.

I chuckled, resting my forehead against his. “I’m much better at the undressing part,” I replied, chasing his tongue with mine as he laughed softly.

“That’s great, Ash. Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask—what did you think about Ian? I talked to him yesterday, and he thought you were great,” Charlotte said.

Ethan pulled back slightly, his pale eyes locking with mine.

“I’m not interested, but thanks for the introduction. It was sweet of you,” I told her, unmuting briefly again.

Ethan tilted his head, a sly smirk spreading across his lips.

“That’s too bad. I thought for sure you’d hit it off,” Charlotte continued.

“Not really my type,” I muttered, watching Ethan’s tongue dart out to wet his bottom lip, the motion leaving me momentarily distracted.

“What is your type, then? And please don’t say my brother.”

Ethan pressed his lips together, trying to stifle his laughter.

“Your brother looks like a Greek statue come to life,” I said, holding Ethan’s gaze. His expression softened, the smirk melting into something quieter. “He’s that sort of timeless beauty. I’d venture to guess he’s most people’s type.”

“That was much sweeter than I would’ve expected from you,” Charlotte admitted, sounding as surprised as Ethan looked.

“I’m not the devil,” I said dryly, earning a chuckle from her.

Ethan’s cheeks flushed, and it took everything in me not to kiss him again right there.

“I wasn’t implying you were. I just wouldn’t have guessed you were a romantic. I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

“You shouldn’t bother, Charlie. I’m perfectly capable of finding my own men.”

“You never know, Ash. Love can be found in the most unexpected places,” she said.

Ethan’s pale eyes widened slightly before darting away.

“Thanks again for trying, but I’m not really in the mood for love right now,” I said softly.

Ethan’s shoulders squared, his mask slipping back into place. A familiar pang tightened in my chest—I needed to be more careful with my words around him.

“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it,” she said. Then, with a sigh, she added, “That reminds me, I need to call him.”

“More wedding scheduling?” I asked, my hands finding his waist, giving a gentle tug.

“No, just our own family drama. Nothing to worry about.”

Ethan tensed under my touch. Interesting.

“Thanks for making the time, Ash. See you next week,” she chirped brightly.

“Looking forward to it. See you next week,” I said before ending the call.

When Ethan looked back at me, his face was perfectly neutral again, but I could see the faint cracks beneath.

“I didn’t expect to find you here,” I said, watching the flush return to his cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“I’m very glad you are,” I assured him, my voice soft as his shoulders relaxed.

“Aria told me you’d get in at eight. I got here a little early, but your doorman let me in. I figured she told him to. I texted you,” Ethan explained.

“I was on another call on the way over,” I replied, shrugging off my coat.

“I know you’re probably tired. I have plans, but I just wanted to stop by and say hello,” he added quickly.

“I’m having food sent over. Why don’t you stay and eat? Keep me company, and then you can head out—or come back after, if you’d like. Spend the night,” I offered casually, watching his reaction.

He blinked, clearly caught off guard. “Really?”

Leaning closer, I kissed his cheek, letting my lips linger just enough to feel his warmth. “Yes, really. I’m exhausted, but I’d like to have you in my bed when I get my energy back,” I murmured into his ear.

“Did you get enough food?”

I nodded, pressing a line of kisses down his neck. “There’s more than enough.” He smelled clean, fresh, like he’d just stepped out of the shower. “Do you wear cologne?”

“Not really. Sometimes when I go out, but not today.”

I pulled back and kissed his lips softly before heading to the bar. “Do you want a drink?”

Ethan’s shoes clicked lightly against the floor as he hopped off the counter and joined me. “What are you having?”

“Macallan neat,” I said, pouring myself a glass and then offering it to him.

He took a sip and handed it back. “That’s good.”

I smiled to myself. “Keep it,” I told him, pouring another. “So, what are the big plans tonight?”

“Going to a friend’s apartment,” he replied, his voice tinged with nonchalance.

I glanced at him, letting my eyes travel from his shoes up to his neck. He wore gray tailored pants rolled just above his ankles, sleek dark-gray tennis shoes, and a graphic shirt half-tucked to show a black belt that perfectly framed his slim hips.

“Is this what college kids wear these days?” I teased.

He pressed his lips together, a bashful smile playing at the corners. “I didn’t dress up for the party,” he said quietly, taking another sip before starting to turn away.

I hooked a finger into his belt, pulling him back. “Are you wearing my gift?”

His lips curved into a small, secretive smile as he nodded.

“Are you going to grant me a peek before you go?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Biting his lip, he shot me a mischievous glance. “I thought you were exhausted,” he quipped before walking off.

I closed my eyes, raising my glass to my lips. Those fleeting moments of Ethan flirting—fully aware of the effect he had—could undo me in an instant. The thought of watching him grow into that confidence, free and unrestrained, made my chest tighten.

This brief time with him was definitely not enough.

Ethan settled onto the couch, and I followed, taking the seat beside him and leaning my head back. His fingers slid through my hair, soft and unhurried.

I let out a contented hum.

“Do you mind that?” he asked.

“Not at all. I love it when you get your hands in there,” I said, turning to face him with a wink.

Ethan’s smile faltered—just a little, but I caught it. A subtle shift, weighted with something unsaid.

“What was your sister talking about? The family drama?”

He let out a deep sigh, then shrugged. It took him a moment to decide if he wanted to confide in me before finally offering a vague, “Adulting.”

I chuckled. “Care to expand?”

His hand left my hair as he rubbed his temple. “I was supposed to pick a major. Back in March.” He paused, watching my face as if gauging my reaction.

“And?”

“And I didn’t. I asked for an extension. Now I have until before the fall semester starts. I haven’t told my parents.” His gaze dropped to his lap.

“What’s so wrong about that?”

He clicked his tongue. “My mom’s already pissed I didn’t go pre-law, and my dad wants me in business, engineering, or whatever the hell else—as long as it’s not pre-law, just to spite her.”

I tilted my head. “Okay, but what do you want?”

Another deep sigh. “I don’t know, Ash. How am I supposed to decide my whole future? Nothing sticks out to me. Nothing is interesting enough. What if I fuck up and regret it for the rest of my life?” His words sped up, his eyes drifting away from mine.

“This doesn’t define your whole future,” I said, reaching for his neck.

He shook his head but didn’t meet my gaze. “You probably knew what you wanted when you were my age.”

“Yeah, I did.” The certainty in my voice made him look up. “But it’s in the recent years that doubt has started creeping in. It’s not just your age—it always feels like life decisions are set in stone. But they’re not. You make choices, you change your mind, you pivot. The only thing set in stone is death.”

The corner of his lip twitched. “That’s a little morbid.”

I chuckled. “It’s the truth, though. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. You’ll figure it out. And if you pick the ‘wrong thing,’ you’re allowed to change your mind.”

“That easy?” His smile was relaxed this time. Something warm settled in my chest.

“That easy. Send me over your options—I’ll help you figure it out.”

His brows lifted in surprise. “Really?”

I squeezed his thigh playfully. “Yes, really. Why else would you date someone older if you’re not going to take advantage of their wisdom ?”

His laugh was like music.

“Alright, I’ll take you up on that,” he said, his pale eyes bright again.

“You’ve got such a great mind.” I tapped my finger on his temple. “You’re clever and cunning, analytical to a fault. You’ve got this, okay?”

He gave me a sharp nod. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem, darling. Just telling the truth.” I leaned back, rolling my shoulders. A deep, ominous crack sounded as I stretched my neck.

Ethan winced. “Are you sure you don’t want me to take off?”

I shook my head. “It’s been a long day. Having you here makes it better.”

“It was a long flight.”

I turned to him, brushing my thumb over his lip as I leaned in. “It’s been an even longer wait.” His breath hitched, and I smiled. “Don’t worry, darling. I’m not implying anything.”

“I actually wanted to talk to you about that,” he said, hesitant.

“About what?”

“About what you expect from me. I don’t really understand what you want.”

“What do you mean?”

He sighed, shoulders tensing. “You said you wanted me to be submissive with you.” A flush crept up his neck.

I smiled softly. “Forget about that for now.”

“But—”

“I want to know you, Ethan,” I interrupted gently. “I don’t want you to hold back or be scared of me. I want this to feel natural. I’m not expecting anything—just do what feels right.”

His lips parted, surprise flickering in his pale-blue eyes. “I thought that was what you wanted,” he whispered. “Isn’t this what you’re into?”

“Yes, but it’s not what you’re into,” I replied, watching the tension in his shoulders ease slightly. “When you let go, it’s fucking incredible. But you don’t shine when you give up control—you shine when you take it.”

I leaned in, cupping his jaw and resting my forehead against his. His eyes darted to my lips, his frown still lingering.

“I don’t get it.”

“I think you don’t know what you want yet,” I said, brushing a kiss to the corner of his mouth and pulling back just enough to see him lean toward me. “I want to help you figure it out.”

His baby-blue eyes were attentive in his surprise.“How?”

“Trying things, letting go, doing what you want. You can do what you like when you’re with me.”

“I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Again, hesitating. He had no idea of the fire that burned inside of him.

“You don’t have to know. You just have to want,” I said, smiling to myself as I watched him process my words.

“For example,” I began, holding Ethan’s gaze, “I know you’ve toyed with something you like but haven’t made up your mind about it yet.”

He blinked, confused. “What?”

“You hold back with your strength,” I said plainly, watching the flush creep up his neck as my words sank in. “One of the perks of being with a man is that you can use your full strength. You can be rough with me—if that’s what you want. You can even ask me to do the same to you. Or not. Whatever feels right for you.”

I leaned back, giving him space to process. Taking a slow sip, I placed my empty glass on the table, letting the moment stretch.

Ethan’s brows knitted as his eyes darted around, clearly mulling over my words.

“Do you want a ‘for instance’?”

He glanced up at me, hesitant, then nodded.

“In the Hamptons,” I said, “when I had you over the desk and you were holding me down.” His lips pressed into a tight line. “And I suspect you have a kink for public spaces—but that one’s off-limits for obvious reasons.”

Ethan’s entire body flushed, his reaction both endearing and enticing.

“Do you want to try it?”

“What?” His voice wavered.

“Getting rough with me,” I said matter-of-factly, watching his eyes widen.

“How?”

“Take a drink,” I said, gesturing to the glass in his hand.

He brought it to his lips, and as he set it down, I took it from him, placing it on the table. Then, I turned toward him, grabbed his wrist, and leaned in until his back was pressed against the couch.

Pinning him down, I held his gaze. “Push me off,” I told him.

“I can’t.”

“You won’t. I’ve seen you lift weights, Ethan. You’re strong enough to do it. Even if I’m bigger, you can put up a fight. Now, push me off,” I told him. Still, he hesitated. “I just got off an eight-hour flight. I’ve been drinking most of that time and haven’t slept in what feels like a day and a half. I’m not at the top of my game. Go on.”

Ethan’s face morphed into concern.“You are tired. Are you sure?—”

“Darling, focus,” I interrupted, chuckling.

“Fine, fine,” he muttered.

He started by pulling his hands back, unsure of himself. I resisted the urge to guide him, waiting for him to figure it out. He glanced at his wrist, then at me, uncertain. I nodded, encouraging him. He took a deep breath and suddenly pushed against me, using his legs for leverage. I resisted, trying to push him back, but he twisted, forcing me to shift my balance.

“Fuck,” he laughed, his breath uneven.

“Come on, give me all you’ve got. I promise you won’t hurt me,” I insisted, smiling at the focused determination that replaced his hesitation.

He pushed harder, putting his weight behind it. Our faces were inches apart as we struggled for control. Then, I saw it—the glint in his eye right before he leaned in and kissed me, catching me off guard. The second I faltered, he pushed hard, toppling me off the couch. I landed on my back with a thud, Ethan tumbling after me, knocking the air from my lungs.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he gasped.

I laughed. “Don’t you have sportsmanship ethics? That was clearly cheating,” I teased.

He chuckled, brushing his hair back. “Technically, you’re cheating. We’re not in the same weight category,” he said, smirking before adding, “or the same age bracket.”

I laughed, grabbing for his wrists again, but he dodged, pressing his forearm against my chest to pin me down.

“Funny,” I muttered, trying to push him back.

Ethan knelt, shifting his weight to keep me in place. His face scrunched in concentration, an attractive mix of determination and amusement as he waited for me to yield. I bent my knees, searching for leverage, but he leaned forward, pressing his weight into my chest.

“Is that enough?” he asked, his breath ragged.

I grabbed his hips, attempting to push him off, but he slid his knees against the carpet, securing his seat. His hand caught my wrist, twisting it gently and pinning it next to my head. His eyes sparkled with victory.

“That depends,” I replied, tugging at my wrist. He leaned more of his weight onto it.

“On what? Are you cheating to get out of this?” His competitiveness shone through the last remnants of his shyness.

“Is this working for you?” I asked, my voice dropping low.

I stopped resisting, letting my body relax. His eyes widened as he looked at me, the realization dawning slowly. His gaze flickered to his arm, still pinning me down, then back to my face.

Ethan nodded, his breath hitching. “Yeah,” he whispered.

“Come closer and kiss me.”

He complied without hesitation, his lips finding mine in a kiss that was neither hesitant nor overeager. It was perfect—bordering on rough, but slow, just the way I liked. When he released my wrist, I reached for his head, tilting it to deepen the kiss further.

This was uncharted territory for both of us. I was holding his hand and teaching him to take what he wanted, to grow into this side of himself and thrive. I didn’t want to tame him, all I wanted was for this fire in him to burn as fiercely as it could, to feed it and nurture it into becoming a force to be reckoned with.

This was him, the real him.

“Hey,” he murmured, pulling back just enough for our breaths to mingle.

“Tell me,” I prompted.

“If I drink tonight, are you going to get upset with me?” he asked, his lips brushing against mine as he spoke.

“Of course not,” I said with a chuckle. “We just won’t do anything if you’re drunk. Are you a lightweight?”

He shrugged.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Just have a couple of drinks if you want to fool around—no more.”

“Why are you so strict about that?” he asked, his expression curious.

“I’m not into forcing people. Dubious consent isn’t consent,” I said simply.

Ethan smiled, the warmth in his expression cutting through the moment’s tension.

The food arrived, and though Ethan eventually moved off me, he stayed close. When he left later, he kissed me deeply—possessively—before stepping out the door.

I showered quickly and collapsed onto the bed, hoping Ethan would stay out late enough for me to catch some much-needed sleep.

As I drifted off, I couldn’t help but think our time together might not feel like enough, but it had to be. We weren’t compatible. Ethan and I were destined to fail because, in the end, we’d both be fighting for the same role.

Right now, his inexperience worked in our favor. But once he figured himself out, he wouldn’t need me anymore. He would eventually outgrow me.

We had an expiration date—whether we wanted one or not.