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CHAPTER TWELVE

ASH

A fter lunch with Oliver, I went back to my apartment and wrestled with how the hell I was going to handle this. I considered calling Ethan to avoid a face-to-face meeting, but I knew that would only upset him. He deserved a conversation in person, no matter how difficult it would be.

I texted him, asking if he’d come to my place that afternoon. He was reluctant at first but agreed. He declined my offer to send a car yet still arrived promptly at four. Meeting during the day seemed wiser than having him over at night.

I was on the phone when the elevator chimed, and he walked in. The sound drew my attention, and there he was—Ethan, dressed up again and looking incredible. Damn it.

I nodded in acknowledgment, and he gave me a shy, tight-lipped smile, his knuckles brushing under his nose in that nervous gesture of his. I was screwed. A phone call would have been so much easier.

Continuing my conversation, I kept an eye on him as he slowly approached, his gaze sweeping over the apartment. I could tell he was expecting me to move toward him, but I stayed seated on the sofa. He passed behind me, his fingers brushing against my hand, trailing up my arm—a fleeting touch. I glanced up, startled, and caught the hint of a smile on his lips.

I turned away, forcing my attention back to the call, but Ethan wasn’t done. He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, and when I looked back, he leaned down and kissed me—a quick, soft gesture that sent my heart racing. Before I could react, he moved away, wandering toward the windows to take in the view.

This was going to be way harder than I thought.

I ended the call and took a steadying breath.

Ethan gazed out at the city skyline. “Finished?” he asked, turning to me.

“Yeah, all done.”

He glanced at my hand, then back at me, biting his lip in a way that was far too distracting. “This isn’t the same place I went to.”

“No, this is my place.”

He smiled, his expression softening. “It suits you,” he said, taking a step closer.

I resisted the urge to back away. “We need to have a talk.”

A small crease formed between his brows. “What about?”

“Come on, let’s sit,” I suggested, extending my hand.

He took it this time, with no hesitation, and we moved to the sofa. He sat close, the space between us almost nonexistent.

This was fucking impossible.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” he prompted when I didn’t start right away.

“Oli’s coming to work with the company.”

Ethan blinked, surprised. Which, fair. I had no idea why I had told him that either. At least the tension in his face eased slightly.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Why not?”

“Oli’s a better candidate for CEO than me in our dad’s eyes—a safer choice,”I explained, struggling to stay on track. I needed to steer this toward why we couldn’t keep seeing each other, but the words felt heavy on my tongue.

“Why? I thought you two worked on different things.”

I ran my hand through my hair and thought about how to explain it. “We do—or we did. Oli’s worked in investment banking, which makes him a perfect fit for CFO. That’s what I used to do.”

“Chief Financial Officer,” he noted.

I nodded. “He excels at all that. Our dad has always wanted him to join the company.”

“But that’s not what you do. Not right now.”

“That’s right. I was voted as CEO, with our dad stepping down,” I explained.

“So Oli would be working for you?”

“Yes, but he’s sort of my advisor. I have to rely on him, which isn’t a problem. I trust him completely.”

“Then why aren’t you happy he’s working with you?”

“Because, just like I moved from CFO to CEO, Oli could do the same. Our dad has been difficult lately. We’re not on the same page regarding what we want for the company. Oli is more conservative. Much easier to manage if he decides he wants to keep calling the shots.” There it was—the segue I needed.

Ethan tilted his head, his curiosity disarming me. “Why aren’t you on the same page?”

“I want to diversify the company, invest in technology. Dad thinks it’s a mistake,” I said, the frustration seeping into my voice. This had been on my mind more than Ethan lately, and that was saying something. Oliver was usually the only person I discussed this with. I didn’t even get into it with Henry.

“I don’t get it. Your company deals with real estate—that’s the Langley business, right?”

“Exactly. We buy properties, develop them, increase their value, and generate profit.”

Ethan listened intently, absorbing every word. “So what’s tech got to do with it?”

“Diversifying is crucial for long-term success. By investing in tech, we can tap into new markets and future-proof our business,” I explained.

“It’s just like investing in properties.”

My lips twitched into a smile. “Exactly.”

Ethan’s curiosity was always endearing. It wasn’t just about me—it was his genuine need to understand.

“Then why the resistance? Everyone knows tech is the future,” he asked, genuinely puzzled.

“Fuck if I know,” I said absently. “My best guess is he’s scared of it.”

Ethan reached his free hand to mine, his eyes dropping down to them. The bracelet was still adorning his wrist. “He doesn’t seem like the scared type.”

“My father is like a hound with properties. He knows what’s going to turn a profit, big time. He’s always had good instincts, but he doesn’t with this. I think it scares him that he can’t sniff them out. It’s easier to stand still than risk a misstep.”

Ethan moved his thumb over my palm in a gentle motion. “But that’s why he has you. You understand it.”

The simplicity of that truth hung between us. Ethan’s hand lingered in mine. He looked at me with quiet confidence, as if he believed in me more than I believed in myself.

“Yes, but he doesn’t trust me,” I said simply.

“Why not?”

“Because we’re nothing alike. I’ve already told you why.”

“Because he doesn’t trust what he doesn’t know,” he said quickly, the words coming out like a conclusion he’d already reached.

“He knows Oli. That’s what makes me uneasy.”

“He trusted you enough to get you to where you are, though,” Ethan pointed out.

I shrugged again. “Because I’m a fucking incredible financial officer who made him a shit ton of money,” I replied with a smirk. “It’s the vision we don’t share. When I took the job, I stopped consulting him and started making decisions that he thinks stray too far from the company’s original values.”

As I spoke, the weight of where this conversation was heading settled in. I released his hand, reaching up to brush a strand of hair away from his face. He leaned into the touch, so subtly it nearly broke me.

“There’s something else that bothers him,” I continued.

“What is it?” His eyes flicked to my lips as I ran my tongue over them, my nerves betraying me. God, I hated this.

“My lifestyle.”

“Because you’re gay?” Ethan asked, his frown deepening.

“No. He’s accepted that. What he disapproves of are my dating choices.”

“The age gap,” Ethan said quietly.

I nodded. “That, and the inconsistency.”

He shifted uncomfortably, looking down at his lap. The silence stretched, heavy and unavoidable.

“Are you trying to tell me something?” he asked softly, his gaze meeting mine.

“I spoke with Oli today,” I began, my voice steady, though my chest felt tight. “About the job—and about us.”

“And?”

“Ethan, I promised Oli we’d stop,” I said, watching the tension ripple through him.

“What?” he whispered, his voice barely audible, but the shock was clear.

“We have to end this,” I repeated, forcing a firmness I didn’t feel.

“Why?”

“I can’t risk this getting out,” I said gently.

“You knew that already. You said we had to be smart,” he reminded me, his voice hardening.

I drew in a deep breath. “I can’t give you more than a one-night stand, Ethan, and you’ve already told me you’re not interested in that.”

“But you said?—”

“I know what I said, but I can’t risk it with you. This can’t be more than what it is—not now.”

“What does ‘not now’ mean?” he demanded.

“Maybe when you’re older,” I suggested, though I already knew how hollow it sounded.

“When I’m older, you’ll still have fifteen years on me,” he said sharply, shoving my hand away.

“Yeah, but it’ll be less questionable.”

He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “You knew all this, Sebastian.”

“Yes, I did. That’s why I tried to stop,” I admitted.

“Then why the fuck couldn’t you leave me alone when I told you to stay away from me?” he asked, his anger flaring.

I reached for him, but he shifted back on the couch, out of my reach.

“Because I wanted you too much.”

“And now? Do you want me less?”

“No, of course not. The stakes are just higher. Ethan, I can’t afford this scandal. If you were anyone else, it might be easier. But you’re Charlotte’s brother. People would eat that up, and I’d be out of my office the same day. It’s too public, and with Oli coming on board, my father and the board wouldn’t hesitate.”

“These have always been the stakes,” he fired back.

“Oli asked me, Ethan.”

“He’s asked you before,” he countered, his voice rising.

“Not like this. It’s important to him, and he’s right about a lot of things.”

“Right about what?”

“I’m never going to give you a relationship. If that’s what you’re expecting, it’s not going to happen. I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want this to turn into a mess for Oli or your family.”

Ethan lifted his chin defiantly. “Why are you just assuming that’s what I want?”

“Darling, you asked me not to fuck around with anyone else,” I said, watching him close his eyes, his face tightening. “We text each other every day. You kissed me hello when you walked in. I’m not trying to humiliate you. I’m trying to be honest.”

“As if you discouraged any of that,” he shot back. “You text me, call me ‘darling,’ send me gifts, say you’ll always be there. You told me you had to have me. Was that all bullshit? Were you just going to fuck off as soon as you got what you wanted?”

His words struck harder than I expected. I stared at him for a moment, knowing the truth wouldn’t help. “Yes.”

“Bullshit. You’re lying.”

I pressed my lips together, my silence confirming what he already knew.

Ethan rose. “I should have stayed away from you,” he muttered.

“Can you please try to understand?” I asked, following him.

“I fucking understand. Of course I understand. I get that this is fucked up. That’s why my first instinct was to stay away. You’re the one who pushed and kissed me, turned my fucking life upside down, and now you’re telling me we have to stop. You said I can’t make up my mind—well, I guess that’s another thing we have in common, isn’t it?”

I stopped, realizing he was right. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“I’m not hurt. I’m pissed off.”

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” I repeated.

Ethan crossed his arms, his posture stiff as he turned away.

“Trust me, I thought this was going to work out differently. You’re right—I didn’t stop to think. I saw you and got tunnel vision. I really like you, Ethan, and not just because I’m extremely attracted to how you look—I really like you. If I’ve been sending you mixed signals, that’s why. I like talking to you, spending time with you, more than I have with anyone in a long time. But that doesn’t mean I’m an asshole to the others. I don’t just have sex with people and leave. That’s not how I operate. I’m friends with most, if not all, of the people I’ve slept with,” I explained, watching as his expression crumpled slightly. “You already know I value trust, and you can’t get that from a stranger. I’m sorry if that confused you, but my intention was always the same. This might have lasted more than a night, but it was always just about sex—not love.”

His shoulders sank as the weight of my words landed. “Is that your fine print?”

“Yes,” I admitted with a sigh.

His eyes scanned my face, searching for a lie. He wouldn’t find one. It was the truth. The honest, shitty truth.

“So that’s just it?” he asked, his voice quieter, almost resigned, as his gaze dropped to the floor.

“This is it,” I confirmed, my tone heavy with regret. “At least as far as sex is concerned. We’ll still be in each other’s lives. It’d be nice if we could be friends.”

“Friends?” he scoffed, his tone dripping with skepticism.

I chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood. “Cordial acquaintances?” I suggested, though his face didn’t soften. “You’re still my brother-in-law. We can’t exactly outrun this. Do you really want to stay pissed at me for as long as they shall live?”

After a long pause, he shrugged. “I’ll get over it, obviously. But it doesn’t mean I can’t stay pissed off for a while.”

I stepped closer, placing my hands on his shoulders. He didn’t pull away. “I’m sorry it worked out this way. If I could have it my way, I’d have you in my bed right now.”

“If you ever want us to be cordial acquaintances, you have to stop saying things like that,” he mumbled, his lips pressed into a frown.

I smiled faintly. “I’ll stop. As soon as you leave, I swear I’ll stop,” I promised. “But if I could ask you for one more thing before you go—and don’t say no until you hear me out.”

His wary eyes lifted to meet mine. “What?”

I glanced at his lips, and he shook his head before I could even finish. “If I could kiss you one more time?—”

“No,” he interrupted firmly.

“Just once—I said you had to listen to why,” I argued, but he continued to shake his head.

“I’m not going to fucking kiss you, Sebastian. You just told me this can’t happen,” he said, his voice rising with frustration.

“I know I did and that’s why. It’s for closure. We didn’t know that the last time was the last time, and it was fucking mind-blowing. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never kissed anybody like that, and I’m serious about giving you up. If I’m going to do it, we should just have one more before it’s done. It’s only fair.”

“You sound like a kid with a toy.”

“Make up your mind. Are you my toy or my pet?” I joked, but he didn’t so much as crack a smile.

“It’s not fucking funny.”

“You’re right—it’s not,” I admitted. “Please?”

He looked away, conflicted. “I’m not doing it on your terms,” he said finally, defiance sparking in his voice.

I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could, he grabbed my neck and pulled me down. Rising onto the balls of his feet, Ethan kissed me fiercely, his lips crashing into mine.

I steadied him, my hands on his waist helping him to stay up against me, and parted my lips for him. He kissed me like we’d been doing it for hours—not bothering with slowness—and just like everything else he did, it was perfect. I let him keep control for a second more before wrapping my arms around his waist and holding him firmly against me. His hands clung to my hair and grabbed a little tighter than warranted, probably in retaliation.

I walked back until we reached a wall I could press him up against, and used it as leverage to get more control over him. Every time his lips moved over mine, I pressed closer, forcing him to slow down the pace, to deepen it enough to let us both enjoy it again.

I tried my best to get him to ease into it and almost sighed when I felt him loosen his grip.

That was more like it.

It was still intense and a little too fast, but this way we could feel each other properly.

Kissing Ethan was like kissing fire—wild, untamed, consuming. He didn’t hesitate or hold back. I still wasn’t sure if it was his age or his personality, but even though he knew how to control himself, when he was provoked, he turned into pure impulse. The way he fought was more similar to the way he kissed. There wasn’t one thing I could say I disliked about him.

His fuller lips felt plump against mine. His breath was warm, and in every swipe of my tongue I could taste that fucking watermelon thing he passed off as smoking. It tasted horrible, but on him it was heavenly.

I finally rested my forehead against his, my breaths mingling with his.

“Was that enough closure for you?” he muttered, bitterness lacing his words.

“I don’t think I could ever have enough of you, darling, but that will have to do,” I whispered.

“Stop saying things you don’t mean.”

I laughed softly, brushing a hand over his back.“I mean it, Ethan. If I could tell the rest of the world to fuck off, I’d lock you up in my room and never let you out.”

“You’re such a fucking creep, Ash.”

I laughed. Those little glimpses of humor in him were incredible too. There was the tiniest trace of a smile on his lips.

“Took you long enough to notice,” I teased, kissing him once more, quick and soft. “I’m sorry this didn’t work out.”

Ethan pulled on my hair again, making a pleasant shiver go down my back. “Why don’t we just keep going?” he asked, his voice quiet. “You said you were going to get me out of my clothes last time.”

I closed my eyes and groaned. “I can’t. Trust me, I’d love to, but I can’t.”

“It can only be one night, right? So let’s do that,” he insisted, leaning up and pressing his lips on mine.

I shook my head. “You’re not ready for this. Don’t force yourself to go through with something you don’t want. Maybe we’ll get to try again. If you’re still into it in a few years, maybe we’ll try again.”

“You say it like it’s so easy.”

“I don’t think it’ll be easy at all, but it’s what we’ve got.” I pressed my lips on his again, taking it in. “This is the last one, okay? Make it good,” I whispered, and his hands twisted in my hair as he kissed me back. I tried to make the most of it, kissing him as slowly as I could manage, feeling the shape of his lips against mine.

Finally, prying his hands from my hair, I took a step back, placing one last kiss on his mouth as I did.

Ethan’s gaze burned into mine. He was still angry, and it made his eyes look so fucking beautiful.

Ethan shook his head. “I should have stayed away from you.”

He didn’t even bother with goodbye, just turned and walked out of the apartment.