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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

ETHAN

I t had been three weeks since I last saw him—two weeks, six days, and eighteen hours, to be exact. Sebastian had tried calling and texting, but I’d ignored every attempt. No gifts this time, no stealthy maneuvers through Henry either. After I’d asked for time to process, all contact stopped. I hated how well he listened this time.

My days had been a blur of forced tennis matches and summer parties. Even though I was technically a free agent, I couldn’t bring myself to even look at anybody else.

Oliver and Charlotte had some wedding-related event—a shower or something equally baffling to me. Still, they expected my attendance, which meant facing Sebastian again. There was no more running from this.

The event was at the Core Club in Midtown Manhattan. It was one of Oliver’s usual haunts, and Charlotte had recently become a member too. As I walked in and headed toward the rooftop terrace, I tried to steady my nerves. The elevator chimed, and when the doors slid open, soft ambient music greeted me. The sun was dipping low, painting the sky in muted shades of orange and pink.

Henry spotted me first. Peering over the rim of his sunglasses, he grinned and grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing server. Sauntering toward me, he handed it to me.

“Is that you, young Ethan? I barely recognize you,” he teased, his tone light and mocking.

Grateful for the distraction, I accepted the glass and took a long sip. “It’s not that different,” I argued, running a hand self-consciously through my hair.

“It’s short,” he pointed out with a smirk.

“Shorter, not short,” I corrected, glancing around the terrace. My eyes skimmed the crowd, but I couldn’t see the tables yet.

“Short,” he insisted, his grin widening. “Ash isn’t going to like that.”

I scowled. “That’s not my problem.”

Henry chuckled, shrugging theatrically. “Just telling it like it is. Come on, let’s go in.”

I hesitated at the entrance. “Is he already here?”

Henry nodded, and my stomach sank. Of course, he was already here. I had hoped work would keep him away longer.

“Just rip off the Band-Aid,” Henry said, nudging me forward with a hand on the small of my back.

When I didn’t move fast enough, he applied more pressure, steering me toward the terrace. I tilted the champagne back, downing half of it in one gulp before committing to stepping outside.

I heard his laugh before I saw him. It wasn’t his real laugh—the one that made his eyes crinkle. This one was polite, measured. Then my eyes found him. Sebastian sat at Oliver’s right, a cigarette dangling from his fingers and a glass of whiskey cradled in his other hand. He wore stylish sunglasses and a crisp white linen blazer, looking effortlessly elegant as always.

“E, come sit here,” Charlotte called, waving me over.

I forced a deep breath and attempted to arrange my face into something resembling a smile. His gaze followed her voice, landing on me. His eyebrows rose briefly before his smile faltered.

“Sorry, what?” Sebastian said, clearing his throat. His attention drifted back to Oliver.

“You were telling me about Warren and the budget issue” Oliver prompted, frowning slightly at his brother.

“Called it,” Henry muttered beside me, his amusement poorly hidden behind his glass.

“Fuck off,” I hissed under my breath, but Henry laughed anyway—loudly enough to catch Sebastian’s attention. He glanced toward us, his frown deepening.

Henry flagged down a server. “Can I get two gins? One light on the tonic.”

“You have a drink,” I pointed to the glass of whiskey by his hand.

“The sun’s still out,” he quipped, as if that explained everything. Then he leaned closer. “One’s for you. Relax, will you?”

I tried to let my shoulders drop as I leaned back in my chair. “Would you back off? You’re making it worse,” I hissed.

Henry grinned, unfazed. “I’m just trying to help. Do you think anyone else here knows how to navigate him better than I do? Now drink your gin, and in twenty minutes, we’ll go have a smoke.”

“I don’t need your help.”

His hand settled on my shoulder, squeezing lightly. “Right. So the rebellious haircut and wearing the sunglasses he gave you are just coincidences?”

Before I could retort, Sebastian cleared his throat again. Both Henry and I turned to him, but his eyes were fixed on Henry’s hand on my shoulder. Henry smirked, removing his hand as if nothing had happened.

“What?” I asked him, though I already knew he was enjoying himself too much to answer honestly.

He just shook his head, stifling another grin. “Twenty minutes,” he said simply.

The waiter returned with our drinks, and I finished mine in under five.

Twenty-two minutes later, Henry and I found ourselves farther from the crowd, leaning against a wall. I handed him my vape, watching as he took a slow drag.

“So,” he began casually, smoke curling around his words. “Why did he blow you off?”

I scoffed. “As if you didn’t know already.”

“I don’t. Ash told me to mind my business, and that was the end of it. So, why did he do it?” Henry pressed.

“Age gap, scandal. Oli asked him to,” I replied, taking the vape from his hand and inhaling deeply.

“Oof, that’s a tough one. Ash has been all about the Oli love lately, but we can work around it.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Work around what?”

“The Oli holdup. Get you and Ash back together,” he said, his tone too casual.

I blinked, feeling even more confused. “Why would I want that?”

Henry gave me a pointed look over his sunglasses. “Do I need to point out the haircut and the sunglasses again?”

“He told me we had to wait a few years.”

Henry shrugged. “Not the worst idea, honestly, but you two clearly still have it bad for each other. Do you want to wait a few years?”

“I have no idea what I want,” I admitted.

“To bang my brother,” he said, deadpan.

I couldn’t help but laugh at his phrasing. “Fuck off.”

“Come on, E. There’s a way around this. Tell me more about what he said.” Henry flagged down a server and ordered us two drinks while I explained Sebastian’s reasoning—that he didn’t want to get my hopes up. I confessed how, stupidly, I’d believed it was different with me, that he felt something unique. But, no, this was just who he was.

“He doesn’t want a relationship, and honestly, I can’t blame him. We make no sense. If he wanted to get serious with someone, I wouldn’t exactly be the best candidate, would I?”

Henry shrugged, but his expression was sympathetic. “I told you he wasn’t the right guy for that, E.”

I took another sip. “I know. I just got caught up.”

We were still in view of the table, and I noticed Sebastian glancing back at us a couple of times.

“It’s not like Ash is into him, that’s for sure,” Henry said suddenly.

“What? Into whom?” My neck snapped around so fast it cracked.

“The guy he’s sitting next to. Your sister and Oli are trying to set him up. See? You didn’t even notice—that’s how not into it he is.”

I hadn’t noticed. Now, looking over, I saw the guy—a blond, lean man around Charlotte’s age—all smiles. Sebastian still wore his sunglasses, so I couldn’t tell if he was really paying attention, but he didn’t seem particularly interested.

“I didn’t notice,” I muttered. My stomach twisted when Sebastian smiled and chuckled at something the guy said. Even if subdued, it looked flirty. Anger and annoyance bubbled up in my chest.

“Now that you’re properly jealous, want to hear my advice?” Henry asked, his smirk infuriating.

“You did that on purpose,” I accused.

“Of course I did that on purpose. It’s like you chose to ignore Sebastian’s my brother.”

“What’s your advice, then?”

He leaned in, smirking. “Give him a time frame.”

“Huh?”

“Ash is still very much into you. If you want to push him over the edge, give him a deadline. It’s like setting a clause for his rule. You’ll move on, but you’ll give it a month. Sebastian’s a sucker for rules. He won’t be able to say no.”

Funny thing was, it made sense. I could see it working.

“Like until the wedding?”

He shrugged. “Sure, that’s almost two months.”

I thought it over. “But that’s not going to change his mind about me.”

Henry shrugged. “No, changing his mind is on you. Maybe you can do it before time runs out.”

“But you don’t think he will.”

“Look, I’ll be honest. I don’t think Ash is capable of change. He’s an uptight control freak, and when something’s out of his comfort zone, he freaks out.”

“Sebastian’s uptight?” I asked skeptically.

“He’s losing his shit because you cut your hair. Yeah, he’s an uptight control freak.” Henry’s gaze flicked toward my hair for emphasis. “That said, I’ve never seen Ash do half the things he does with you. So who knows? Maybe I’m wrong.”

“Like what?”

“Like not fooling around. He’s public property—always has a rotation. Yet he’s taken himself off the market for you. That slip-up in the Hamptons? Ash never loses control. And he’s jealous about you. That’s not normal for him.”

“He’s not jealous at all,” I argued.

Henry shot me a knowing look. “Believe me, he is. But you’re right—it’s not common.”

I tried to think of an example but came up empty. “He’s not jealous.”

I glanced back at the table. Sebastian’s smile had faded, his arms crossed as he half listened to Blondie.

“Sebastian only gets jealous of me,” Henry said, grinning.

I stared at him, wide-eyed. “What the fuck?”

“I’m serious. It’s like a little brother thing. He doesn’t like me touching his things.”

I was too stunned to respond at first. “What the fuck?” I repeated.

Henry burst out laughing. “You’re only making it worse. Didn’t you notice him pissed at me earlier? At the table?”

I nodded reluctantly. I’d noticed. It wasn’t the first time, either. I’d seen Sebastian snap at Henry before, but I never put the pieces together. “It never crossed my mind. Why would he be jealous of you? You’re straight.”

Henry looked genuinely bewildered. “No, I’m not.”

“What?”

“Ethan, everybody and their mothers know I’m bisexual. They’ve printed articles about it.”

“But you have a new girlfriend every month.”

“Occasionally, it’s a guy. Don’t worry—you’re not my type. Too young, too inexperienced.”

“Okay.” My head was spinning. “I had no idea.”

“That much is clear. Anyway, it really gets to Ash that we’re friends.”

I blinked. Okay—apparently, we were friends too.

“So, are you going to try it out? Prove me right?”

“I don’t think he’d go for it. He was pretty firm when he told me we had to stop.”

“But you do want to try to convince him otherwise?”

I hesitated, my gaze drifting back to the table. Sebastian looked as impressive as ever, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how incredible it felt to be with him. It pissed me off that he ended it when I was finally coming to terms with it. It still hurt.

“Or are you going to let him walk out with Blondie tonight?” Henry pressed.

The thought made my stomach churn.

“I wish he’d change his mind,” I murmured.

“Okay.” Henry scooted closer, draping an arm over my shoulders.

I eyed him. “What are you doing?”

He took the vape from my hand and took a drag. “Getting Ash to come over in sixty seconds flat.” Leaning closer to my ear, he whispered, “Care to bet?”

I pulled away, scowling. Henry just chuckled.

“Did it work?” I asked, trying not to glance toward the table.

“See for yourself.” Henry removed his arm, shifting away. I turned, and there he was—Sebastian, walking toward us. My chest tightened with a mix of surprise and nerves.

Henry laughed loudly, and I couldn’t help but join him. We were both giggling when Sebastian stopped in front of us, one eyebrow arched, entirely unamused.

“Sorry. Am I interrupting something?”

“Not at all,” Henry said, standing, giving his back to his brother and waggling his eyebrows at me. He turned back to Sebastian, his attempt at a straight face failing miserably. “I need to use the facilities.” Clearing his throat, he strolled away, leaving me shaking my head.

“Can I sit?” Sebastian asked.

I shrugged. “You can do whatever you want, Ash.”

His lips twitched into a slight smile at the nickname.

He sat down, leaving some distance between us, and lit a cigarette. “You and Henry have gotten awfully close,” he remarked casually.

I bit my cheek to suppress a grin. “We’re friends, apparently.”

Sebastian nodded, taking a slow drag. “Are we friends?” he asked after a pause.

My heart clenched. “I thought we’d settled on cordial acquaintances.”

The corners of his lips lifted. He looked effortlessly elegant in a dark button-down that was nearly black, his blazer discarded. “Have you two been hanging out?”

If Henry hadn’t pointed it out earlier, I wouldn’t have noticed it. But now, I caught the subtle undercurrent of jealousy in Sebastian’s tone—quiet, almost imperceptible.

“I’m not going to date your brother,” I said, watching as he inhaled around his cigarette, his expression giving nothing away.

“I didn’t think you were.” His shoulders relaxed slightly, his smile loosening just enough to soften the tension.

“So, how’s your date going?”

He chuckled. “I didn’t think you’d get jealous of a cordial acquaintance.”

I scoffed, but my retort faltered when he leaned back, tilting his head to study me. He slid off his sunglasses, and the way the light caught his eyes was breathtaking.

“Besides,” he said softly. “I’d never do something like that in front of you. I know how much it bothers you.”

My chest tightened at his words, and I took a quick drag from my vape to busy myself. “But you think I would? With your brother?”

He shrugged. “When you’re hurt, you lash out.” His gaze flicked to my hair briefly before looking away.

“I didn’t cut my hair to hurt you, Sebastian. That’s ridiculous. I don’t even get why you’re so upset.”

“I like the way you looked. I wouldn’t have changed anything about it,” he muttered, his words so earnest they made me smile despite myself.

“It’s just hair. It’ll grow back.”

“If we were still talking regularly, you’d have told me about it. I could’ve talked you out of it or sent you to my barber. At least they wouldn’t have done something so drastic.”

I stared at him, dumbfounded. “I’m not your toy, Sebastian.”

“I knew you’d say that. I’m not treating you like one. I just wish you hadn’t changed it, and I hate that I didn’t have a say,” he continued, his tone edging on frustration.

“This is the most absurd conversation I’ve ever had. Even if we were still talking, you wouldn’t have a say over my hair.”

He leaned back again, his expression shifting. For the first time, he looked vulnerable—his face open in a way I’d never seen before. “Even if I told you it’s one of my favorite things about you?”

I had no words.

I sat there, stunned, just looking at him. My lips parted, but nothing came out.

“It’s bad enough I can’t touch you. You won’t answer my calls or texts, and now this is gone too,” he said, his voice low and filled with something I couldn’t quite name. He still looked like a spoiled kid not getting his way, but there was something endearing about it this time.

“It’ll grow back,” I said softly.

He shook his head, eyes still locked on mine.

“Even if you have a thing for longer hair, I don’t have to cater to your tastes.”

“It’s not about my preference. I’m not saying I like longer hair in general. I’m saying I liked your hair—Ethan Bennett’s hair. I’m upset it’s gone.”

“I don’t get you. Are we playing ball with confusing, contradictory behavior now?”

His smile widened slightly. “I missed talking to you.”

I sighed, leaning back. His gaze dropped to my lips, and I shook my head.

“It’s going to be a miserable couple of years if this is what we have to look forward to.”

“It seems like it, doesn’t it?”

It felt like he wanted this as much as I did, like he’d changed his mind.

“Ash, can we talk?”

“We are talking.”

“Alone?”

His smile faded. “I don’t think we should.”

“I just need to run something by you,” I said quickly.

He shook his head. “I can’t be alone with you.”

I frowned, frustration bubbling up in my stomach. “But?—”

“I’m serious, Ethan. You were right. We should keep our distance and give it some time.”

I wanted to argue, but Henry reappeared, strolling toward us with impeccable timing. “Sorry to barge in. It looks like you’re having a private conversation,” he said, giving Sebastian a pointed look. “To, you know, anyone with eyes.”

Sebastian chuckled lightly, standing. “I’ll head back to the table.” He walked away without looking back.

Henry dropped into the seat beside me. “So? Did it work?” he asked eagerly.

“I didn’t tell him. He said we shouldn’t be alone.”

His face fell. “Sorry, E. I was sure he’d take the bait.”

“It’s fine.”

“Great. Now I’ve gotten your hopes up again. I’m sorry,” he said, genuine regret in his tone.

I thought about it. He was right—I had gotten my hopes up again. But it wasn’t because of what Henry had said. It was the way Sebastian had looked at me just now.

Sebastian always kept his face schooled in cool indifference. He knew he was charming, and he flirted with confidence. But the way he looked at me just now—that vulnerability—I don’t think many people got to see that.

Maybe I was different for him.

* * *

I woke to the buzz of my phone vibrating on the nightstand. Pressing my face into the pillow, I ignored it, hoping it would stop. It did—for a second—before starting up again. Groaning, I cracked open an eye to check the time. Rubbing a hand over my face, I grabbed my phone, blinking at the illuminated screen.

Ash Langley

I rubbed my face again, staring at his name to make sure I wasn’t imagining it. My heart thudded as my thumb hovered over the green button. I hesitated for a moment before answering.

Clearing my throat, I mumbled, “It’s two in the morning.”

“Were you asleep?” His voice was deep, smooth, and entirely too intimate at this hour.

“Yeah, I was.”

A soft sound came through the line, contemplative. “Sorry, I thought you usually went to bed late.”

“I do. I just had a little too much to drink at the party and passed out as soon as I got home.”

The party. The frustrating, underwhelming evening replayed in my mind. Sebastian had barely acknowledged me after our chat, keeping his focus on Oliver and pretending I didn’t exist. Henry had tried to cheer me up the only way he knew how—by handing me drink after drink. When Sebastian left early, he barely gave me a nod goodbye. And now here he was, calling me in the middle of the night.

“I noticed,” he said. “Did Henry get you back home?”

“No. Char sent me with Oli’s driver.”

Another soft sound—acknowledgment, maybe—and then silence. We stayed like that, breathing quietly on opposite ends of the line, the unspoken tension stretching between us.

“Are you going to tell me why you called?” I finally asked.

“I miss you,” he whispered.

I turned onto my side, pressing my face into the pillow. “I miss you too,” I admitted softly.

Another silence, heavier this time.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” he asked, breaking the quiet.

“Can we talk about it in person?”

“No,” he said, the word almost a sigh.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m hanging on to my last shreds of self-control staying away from you.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” I said quietly.

“Tell me.” His voice was gentle, but there was no mistaking the command behind it.

“Don’t you think we need more time?”

He exhaled, the sound weary. “I know. I’m sorry I called.”

I shook my head into the pillow, frustration bubbling up. “More time together, not apart,” I muttered.

He didn’t answer right away. “Ethan…”

“I need more time,” I said, my voice faltering but insistent. “You put all these ideas in my head, and then you left. I just need a little more time. I know you don’t want a relationship, and I know that’s not going to change, but I still want it.”

“What do you still want?”

“For you to do all the things you said you wanted to do.”

“Like what?”

My face burned as I forced myself to answer. “T-touch me.”

“And?”

This time, I managed to keep my voice steady. “Get me out of my clothes.”

I could almost hear the crack in his resolve, his exhale sharp and deliberate. “And?” he pressed again, his tone darker now.

It was humiliating and exhilarating all at once, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him to change his mind. I took a deep breath and jumped. “And fuck me.” The words came out in a whisper, my face heating the second they left my lips.

Sebastian’s exhale was loud this time, almost a groan. “Is that what you want from me, darling?”

I smiled despite myself at the endearment. “Yes.”

The line went quiet again, the only sound the soft rhythm of his breathing. The silence stretched so long it felt unbearable.

“What are you thinking?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

“That I shouldn’t have called,” he answered quickly.

My chest tightened. He wasn’t going to cave. “Ash?—”

“You know I don’t want to stay away from you, Ethan. I’ve told you why. This is important.”

Shit. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Every instinct told me to snap, to tell him off for calling, for making me say these words, but I held my tongue. It would be far easier for him to dismiss me if he thought I was being unreasonable.

So I took Henry’s advice.

“What if it were only for a little while?” I asked. “What if we set a time, an expiration date?”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ll get it out of our system—give it until the wedding, and then we’ll just be friends. It’s just a couple of months. No one has to know.”

He didn’t answer. Had I actually caught him off guard?

“I know what you’re offering, and I’m okay with it,” I continued. “It’s like when you asked me to kiss you last time, only for a little longer. Because it feels like we need to go on for a little longer. Don’t you need that too?” I pressed, holding my breath.

“Ethan,” he murmured, his voice noticeably unsteady this time.

“We already crossed a line. That’s done. So what’s the damage if we keep it up for longer?” I insisted. He just needed a push—I knew him now, knew what he wanted to hear. “I promise I’ll do what you ask me to,” I whispered.

I could almost see him, wide-eyed, listening to me on the other end.

Just one more push. “I’ll be good for you. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

Sebastian inhaled sharply. “Don’t say things you don’t mean. It’s not just about what I want.”

“I want it too. I want you. I wouldn’t be asking otherwise,” I said, my voice steady despite my racing pulse.

“You know what wanting me entails, don’t you? Are you sure about what you’re asking?”

I swallowed, knowing the price I was willing to pay to keep him. “I know you want to fuck me, Ash. You’ve made that abundantly clear. I know what I’m asking.”

“Where did shy Ethan go?”

I smiled faintly. “I think you broke him.”

Sebastian chuckled. “Fuck.”

He was thinking about it, considering it. The fact that he hadn’t flat-out refused me again was a good sign. I suddenly understood exactly how he felt waiting for me to reach out to him. The parallels between us were strange, our roles constantly shifting and blending into one another.

“So? What do you think?” I asked when I couldn’t take the silence any longer.

Sebastian sighed, and I heard the rustle of fabric, the sharp jingle of keys.

“I’m heading to your apartment.”

A mix of triumph and nerves surged through me. “Then it’s a yes?”

“Just so we’re clear—this is over before the wedding? And you’re going to be fine with us being just friends afterward?”

“Yeah.” Unless I could change his mind.

“Then I’m game, darling. This stays between us.”

In the background, I heard a door close. “I’ll be there in fifteen. Use the time to mentally prepare yourself. I’m not holding back anymore,” he added before hanging up.

Shit.

I closed my eyes tightly, jumping off the bed and heading to the bathroom. Running the shower felt like the only thing that might keep me from overthinking everything. I showered, brushed my teeth, and changed, trying to look like I hadn’t tried so hard.

And then there was nothing left to do but wait.

Walking into the dark, quiet apartment, I paced back and forth, checking my phone to see how much time had passed. I finally called the doorman and asked him to let Sebastian through.

My phone chimed, and I nearly dropped it.

Ash Langley

on my way up

My face burned as I moved toward the door, opening it in anticipation. His footsteps echoed down the hall, and when I turned, there he was.

Sebastian stood on the other side of the threshold, looking nothing like I’d ever seen him before—not even in the Hamptons. Gone was his usual polished, elegant appearance. Instead, he wore a plain white cotton shirt and gray joggers. His hair was wilder than I’d ever seen it, waves disheveled in a way that reminded me of how he’d looked after our first kiss.

He said nothing, simply closed the door behind him. His eyes locked on mine as he walked toward me, a small smile tugging at his lips.

I forced myself to stand still, waiting.

He stopped just inches away. “Any regrets or second thoughts roaming around in that pretty head of yours?”

My lips curved into a smile. I shook my head.

His grin widened. “Good,” he said simply before tugging me toward him by the neck and kissing me.