Page 7 of When a Highlander Vows (Enemies to Lovers #1)

7

C aitlin had been in this situation far more times than she could count. Being on the receiving end of forced charity, and she knew one thing: it did not feel good.

Right then, she could see the discomfort and reluctance in the laird’s face, and it made her cheeks warm with embarrassment. She nodded in agreement to Lottie’s suggestion, but she couldn’t bear to make eye contact with the laird. It was all too humiliating. Why did he force her to come to his home if he was going to act this way? She didn’t understand.

Dinner passed, and she finally had her fill, finishing off her wine to help calm her discomfort. She stood, and Sarah gripped her arm.

“I hope ye will enjoy yer stay, Lass. I am always around if ye need any help with anythin’. I live in the Castle too, so ye may ask me anythin’ ye like. And I’d be happy to help ye wander about anytime ye feel the desire. It is a beautiful place.”

Tears came to Caitlin’s eyes at such kindness. “Thank ye, Sarah, that is very kind of ye. I will certainly need help. But I will also need to find a way to occupy me time while I am here.”

The others stood and were talking among themselves.

Sarah said loudly, “Well, I think we can help ye with that. What say ye to a ball? A large welcomin’ party to greet ye properly as part of McDougall Castle?”

“Och, I daenae ken about that,” Caitlin began, her heart racing at the thought of meeting a whole group of people and having fuzzy faces staring at her while she tried to speak or dance.

“I think that is a wonderful idea, Sarah,” Lottie said as the group slowly moved away from the table and toward the far end of the hall.

Sarah gave Colin away to a waiting servant, and Caitlin’s muscles tensed. She knew Sarah could probably feel them as she held her arm.

“If only we could get the Laird to stop hidin’ away a bit, the rest of us could have a bit o’ fun!” Sarah called teasingly to the laird who was just ahead of them, escorting his grandmother.

Sarah and Archie laughed while the laird slowly turned around and glared at Sarah.

“Lass, always tryin’ to dance, are ye nae?” he said with the slightest hint of a smile. “Ye think I daenae have fun. Drinkin’ alone in me study gives me the greatest of pleasures, I ought to tell ye. Then I daenae need to listen to any bloody nonsense.”

She chuckled, flashing her eyes at Caitlin. “Ye see? Perhaps ye can help to infuse a bit of fun around here, Lass. We are lackin’ in it.”

Caitlin was a little bewildered by what she’d seen. The serious, stiff laird had just been teased, and he seemed to take it well enough. She had seen him smile, albeit briefly, when she’d been concerned for his welfare after the battle. But this showed a different side.

All she could do was smile at Sarah, and when they reached the far door to the hall, Lottie turned around. “Paige, will ye walk with me? I have a few questions about some plants ye just planted. I need a stronger poultice for me sore hands. Archie, ye take yer wife, of course, and Lucas, ye will guide our guest.”

Lottie held out a hand to her and was beaming with joy. Caitlin wished she could fly away and disappear. The laird turned to look at her, and she’d never seen a more reluctant guide.

“Of course, Nan,” he said tightly, a muscle ticking in his jaw.

The fearsome attitude he portrayed was diminished by how easily his grandmother commanded him. She was a very tiny woman, and yet she seemed to be brimming with confidence and authority. It would have been comical, if Caitlin hadn’t felt like she was simply an extra burden on the laird’s time. He left his grandmother and came to Caitlin’s side, waiting for the others to pass through the door to the gardens. Slowly, he lifted his arm.

“Shall we?”

“Aye,” she said hastily, avoiding his eyes as she slid her hand onto his arm.

She bit back tears of embarrassment as she followed the people ahead of her out into the stone passageway. Here the castle felt a little danker and damper, the heat of the main hall fading away. She said nothing, cleared her throat only to keep the tears from sliding down her face. He would not see her weakness. Not ever.

Ahead, she could make out the blurry outline of a wooden door, and Paige opened it, talking all the way about flowers, while the others listened. But Caitlin couldn’t focus on it. Not while she was trying to pick up the pieces of her dignity that she’d dropped on the journey here to a whole new life, ripped away from her old one.

They moved through the door, and her first steps brought her into the night. The sounds of the dark were loud and sudden, and Caitlin was able to take a gulp of fresh air into her lungs, soothing her frayed nerves.

“Here we are,” Paige said, and she pointed to the side. “The roses are there, Caitlin, since we discussed them earlier.”

Caitlin turned, but since it was dark, and the roses too far away, she could hardly see them.

“Thank ye,” she croaked, not wanting to keep reminding people of her limitations.

At least I can smell them. I can smell all the flowers here. At least in that way, the garden is beautiful in me mind.

Paige continued mumbling about something with Lottie at her side, and Caitlin held tight to the laird as he led her down the path.

“Ye must let me ken if I am movin’ too fast,” he said.

“I am nae an invalid,” she said sharply, more sharply than she’d intended.

The laird breathed in, not saying anything right away. “I dinnae mean that, Lass. Nae at all. I am just nae used to—”

“To helpin’ someone who has nae the same abilities as ye. Aye, nae many people have.” Her mood was only getting worse, as was her headache.

She could feel the laird stiffen under her hand. “It is brave for a lass to treat her laird with such disgust,” he said briskly, staring straight ahead.

No longer could she see or hear the others. The tall trees and bushes and plants surrounded the garden path, and with the full moon shining down on them, the hoots of owls and songs of grasshoppers filling the space, it seemed like the two of them were lost on their own, in the middle of nowhere.

“Disgust is nae the word. Anger or frustration perhaps,” she supplied, trying her best to lighten her tone.

Even if she did not want it, the man was helping her. He was trying to do the right thing by her brother. And he was one of the people who shared her grief, at least in part. She needed to be somewhat kind.

“Forgive me, me Laird, it is only because I wasnae ready to leave.” She looked around at the garden. “I daenae ken this place. It is nae me home. Although yer grandmaither has been very kind.”

“I ken. And I made ye come. I wanted to make sure ye were well, that Seamus would have nothin’ to fault me for from his grave.” Both of them tensed at the mention of her brother’s death.

Never again would she hear her brother’s laugh or see his cheeky smile. She’d never hear him chide her again or tell her how much she was loved. Would there be anyone else who could be that for her? Something inside of her hardened a bit.

“I am sorry for yer loss, Lass. I cannae remember if I have said it before or not.” Caitlin turned with a frown to the man who’d spoken so softly and gently.

It was completely opposite to the gruff man who’d threatened her earlier that day.

“Thank ye,” she sniffed. “He would want me to be happy, I ken that. I can simply nae imagine, though, that he would want me to be alone away from me home.”

“Ye are nae alone,” the laird said quickly. “Ye have all of us here. We will do our best to make ye feel at home.”

Caitlin smiled despite her sadness. “I daenae think everyone is happy about me arrival.”

“Och,” he nodded. “Ye mean the healer. She is like that with everyone,” he said, although Caitlin knew he was lying. “Nae pleasant, and I am afraid it doesnae help her with her healin’. There are many who lie sick or injured simply because they are afraid to send for her.”

To her surprise, Caitlin laughed at the image his words created in her mind. “How unfortunate. I am certain she is nae as bad as that. When the time comes, she will dispatch her healin’ duty properly. How else would she decide to be a healer then? It is a sacred calling.”

“Sacred,” the laird repeated, looking down at his feet as they walked through the space.

The smell of flowers was growing strong, and a little wave of calm came over her.

“Then dae ye believe that a vow is sacred?” he asked, turning to her slightly.

“Aye. A vow is a sacred thing. God kens what we promise to one another.” She had not much use for God after all that had happened in her life, but she could not rid herself of the thought that someone was watching over her from above.

“Well, then ye can understand me and why I want to keep ye here.” His face grew stern again. “Ye shouldnae doubt it. Let it be as it is. I have made a vow, and this is what yer brother wanted.”

Caitlin tensed again, the moment of calm over. “I think I have had enough talk for one day about what is good for me. I will have to decide that for meself, ye ken. Even though vows are sacred, it doesnae mean that I should be passed around as if I am one of the objects me brother would carry away for sale on his ship. Surely ye can understand feelings and sentiments, me Laird. Or perhaps ye cannae,” she challenged.

He paused and turned, pulling their arms apart so that he faced her, his eyes cold.

“I thought we have shown ye kindness. That there is a place for ye here. But I see that we are to be met with coldness, nae matter what I dae. Whether I am gruff or soft. Daenae worry yerself, Lass. Ye willnae need to speak to me at all. Yer business is with me grandmaither and the others. I am very happy to be left alone and to leave ye alone in kind.”

Caitlin lifted her chin so that their eyes met. “That suits me perfectly well, Laird McDougall. I will be sure to keep meself out of yer way entirely.”

“Very good.” They were close now, surrounded on both sides with tall trees and foliage.

His eyes searched her face as if looking for something more from her. She parted her lips, curious, wanting to ask what he was doing when they heard the shutting of a heavy door and the turn of a lock.

“God damn it,” he muttered under his breath.