Page 37 of When a Highlander Vows (Enemies to Lovers #1)

37

L ucas couldn’t sleep. He lay awake in his bed, staring up at the canopy of his bed, both arms under his head. It wasn’t just that his body was thrumming with desire, so ready to be with Caitlin and take her to new heights of pleasure that she’d never known before. But it was also that he could finally see the loneliness of his old life.

Despite the large fire in the hearth, his chamber felt cold. Despite how small it had once seemed once before, his chamber now seemed massive, far too large for just one man sleeping on his own. He wanted her body, of course, but he wanted her. He wanted her right next to him in his bed so that he could curl her body into his, and he could keep his arm across her all night.

He wanted a life with her from first light to first darkness. He wanted more than stolen moments in his study or out in the garden. He wanted her around him all day every day. He wanted to see the way she lived her daily life, the way she’d become the Lady of the Castle, the way she’d open up and blossom under her new happiness.

He wanted to learn every detail about her and add to what he already knew. She loved roses, animals, adventure. She loved people and wanted them to be happy and loved. She missed her brother terribly, and yet she took her grief in stride. She was strong, beautiful, interesting, and intelligent. Everything he could aspire to with her at his side. He not only loved her, but he craved her, even if he could not tell her just yet. Even if the words simply would not come.

After another few minutes, he stood, sliding out of bed, naked as the day he was born. He stood in front of his hearth for a few seconds, hands on his hips.

Nay one would ken if I slipped into her chamber.

He had worried about Caitlin’s reputation if he’d spend another night in there with her. But after he saw everyone’s happy face downstairs, he knew that would not disapprove, although his Nan would push them to marry as soon as possible. That was not a problem for him, but he too wanted to make himself better before he asked Caitlin to be his wife. He wanted to be confident that he could offer himself as a proper husband. For that was what she deserved.

Turning toward the door, he thought for a few more seconds before he made his decision. He slipped on his trews, and then left the chamber, closing the door softly behind him. The hallway was dark, the candles having gone out long ago. There was still a light grayness in the corridor, though. It always hung in the castle at night and the mixture of the moonlight as well as torch light from outside that slipped in through the narrow windows.

He found her chamber, and he opened the door and quickly shut it behind him. He heard Fallows stir, lifting his head up. But then, noticing it was his master, Fallows put his head back down again, breathing out.

“Sunshine,” he whispered in the darkness, coming to the edge of the bed where he found her facing toward him in sleep.

She stirred and looked up, jumping a little before she recognized him. “Lucas, what in God’s name? Ye scared me to death!” she whispered, but he could see a smile on her face from the dim light of the dying hearth.

“Sorry, but I couldnae sleep. I want to be with ye.” With another grin, she moved back, and after removing his clothing, he slid in beside her, pulling her close.

Once he put his arm under her, she tucked her head under his chin, and from her blonde curls, he could smell that rose scent again. He breathed in deeply, before kissing the top of her head.

She made a soft sigh and spread her hand over his bare chest. Her one leg curled over his, and he smiled at how easily she formed herself around him. It felt right, safe, and warm, and he closed his eyes, feeling not so empty and lonely anymore. How could he feel empty with her in his arms? In seconds, he fell asleep.

In the morning, he awoke when Caitlin wriggled against him. When his mind registered the feel of breasts against his chest, he snapped his eyes open. Looking down, he could see that he was hard as a rock and standing straight up, very eager now that a shapely female body was curled up next to him. When he looked at Caitlin, she was still asleep, her brown lashes fanning out across her cheeks. He watched her for a moment, amazed at her loveliness.

Freckles dotted across her soft pale skin, her golden hair falling around her, and her pink lips parted as she breathed slowly and deeply. But his eyes kept moving downward to where her silken shift gripped her curves, pressing her breasts forward so that he could see the shape of her nipples.

His mouth watered to taste them. He had tasted them once before but now he wanted more. His hand stroked her back, and she moaned, shifting toward him, her eyes still closed. Smiling, he continued, thinking this a lovely way to wake up. This was the way he wanted to wake up for the rest of his life, if he didn’t mess it up. Her hand moved down his chest, and he realized she was no longer asleep when her hand slid under the sheet to grasp him.

When he gasped, Caitlin opened her eyes, and a slow grin crossed her face. “Ye minx!” he cried, and she laughed just as he slid her underneath him, making her break her hold on him.

“I was enjoyin’ ye tryin’ to wake me with yer touch. But I have been awake for a long while, unable to think about much else with ye so close to me. Whatever happened tae ye nae wantin’ to come in last night? Afraid that ye would disturb me rest?”

He grinned, leaning down to breathe in her scent again at her neck, placing a kiss there. “Well, now we have rested,” he argued.

Her arms laced loosely about his shoulders, and she said, “As much as I want ye here, I think if ye are goin’ to stay, then ye must bolt the door. I daenae wish Arla to come and see us like this.”

“Aye,” he said with a wink, out of the bed like a shot.

But when he got up, he heard Caitlin gasp, and he realized how much he had come to trust her. Because for the first time, he’d turned his bare back to be exposed to another. And by now she’d seen the ridges of long, painful scars on his skin.

Caitlin knew she shouldn’t have gasped. At least not audibly. But she couldn’t help it. Not only was he a perfect male specimen, and his buttocks were wonderfully muscled and strong. But on his wide, strong back, he had ridges thick and scarred. They were undeniably the lines of the lash even if he was a little blurred to her vision. She had known some of his past and of whatever demons he had to deal with. And yet she was still surprised at how many scars there were.

How could a father do that to his child? Or rather how could anyone do that to anyone? It made her want to cry for the boy Lucas had been. To bring him into her arms and comfort him. To remind him that he was worthy of love and deserving of it. She could now see even more why Lucas was so afraid to love and to be close.

“Lucas,” she said, sitting up.

Slowly, he bolted the door and turned around. On his face was an unreadable look, and she was glad that he had not rushed to leave, although running away naked would have made quite a scene.

“I suppose ye want to ken about these,” he said.

“Aye, but ye daenae have to tell me now. It can wait.”

She smiled at him, hoping he would come back to her bed. She wanted his strength and warmth, to feel his skin against hers, even if his back was scarred. She was surprised she had not felt them before in their encounters. This was not the first time he had been naked from the waist up in front of her.

He hesitated, but then thankfully, he walked toward her again and she saw him in all his glory once more, his length hard and pointed at her. But he was wary, afraid of something.

Sitting up even more, she removed her shift, eliciting a gasp out of him as well, and she tossed it to the floor. “Come,” she said. “I want to feel ye. Ye daenae need to tell me now.”

He leaned over her and took her mouth, the kiss strong and insistent from the first. His tongue stroked into her, and she felt instantly boneless as she licked him back, her fingertips exploring him, even the new territory on his back.

He’d winced at first, but then he relaxed into the kiss, melding their bodies together. But he did not stay there long, moving his kiss from down her neck to her breasts. In a swift motion he grasped her and moved so that he was under her and she on top of him, leaning her hands on his chest.

“Come closer,” he said, and she cried out when his large hands grasped her breasts, his thumbs each stroking the pointed nipples, making her lift her head up and close her eyes, the sensation moving from her breasts all the way down to her toes.

Sliding down her body a bit, he pulled her down so that her breasts hung right in his face. With a hungry growl, he took one nipple into his mouth, kneading and sucking as he worked it with his tongue, moving to the other to do the same.

Caitlin’s eyes were closed shut so tight as she gave herself into the unique pleasure. He had touched her there before, but he had not given as much time or attention to them, and she had no idea that his mouth there could make her wet and warm, waiting for more. The sounds his mouth made against her breasts made her feel wicked and wanton, and she bucked against him, begging for more.

I want to be taken.

“Nae yet, Sunshine,” he replied, and she blushed when she realized she’d said it allowed.

Flipping her back over, he roughly spread open her thighs and plunged his head between them before she could say another word. The feel of his tongue there made her scream, his tongue both forceful and soft, demanding pleasure from her with its skillful strokes.

One finger, then two pressed inside of her, and she gripped the bedclothes, biting her lip to keep back another scream that was bubbling up inside her. His name escaped her lips, however, as his mouth and fingers worked in tandem to draw out an orgasm stronger than ever before. She was left breathless, weak, and her eyes remained closed as she tried to find her balance once again in the world.

“Dear God,” she said, bringing out a chuckle from him. “It has never been so good,” she continued, turning to face him, her eyes now open.

Stroking a strand of hair behind her ear, he said, “I will always make it thus, Lass.”

“But what of bein’ taken?” she asked. “Ye willnae take me? I am yers, Lucas, I want only ye.” She stroked down his chest, and he allowed her to take him in hand.

As she stroked, he closed his eyes. “I want it to be proper,” he said, laying back, getting breathless. “Nae yet.”

Seeing that he allowed her, she eagerly moved down his body and took him in her mouth. It was quick, and after only a few strokes with her lips, he released inside of her with a great cry, shuddering under her as she felt the warmth of the liquid trickle down her throat.

When she leaned up, she pinned him with a wicked look. “It seems that this is nae very proper either.”

He blinked at her for a few seconds as his pleasure cleared, and then he laughed.

“Aye, I suppose yer right.” He reached for her, and she tucked herself next to him again. “When will I stop bein’ surprised by ye?” he asked, and then he sobered. “I like that ye feel so safe with me. That ye can be bold as ye like. I would never want ye to be afraid of that.”

“Aye,” she answered, stroking his bare chest with her fingers. “I hope that ye feel safe with me too. Safe enough to talk if ye like.”

He was silent for a little, and she feared that she had offended him, that it would scare him away, and he’d run off again. But instead, he cleared his throat.

“Ye dae make me feel safe, Lass. More than I ever have. I suppose ye ken that me faither was a cruel man as was me grandfaither. But it wasnae only me faither. Me maither too,” he said, and she sucked in a breath, tears forming in her eyes.

But she said nothing, knowing that he needed to speak.

“First, he would beat me, and then later, she would come to beat me as well, after she had received her punishment. I cannae blame her, I suppose. She wanted to feel strong, as I dae.”

“But ye have never hurt another, have ye?”

“Nay. I never wished to raise me hand to another for mere sport and certainly nae to a woman or child. But I have always feared that one day, somethin’ inside me would make me turn like him. I think that if he had a maither like Nan and still turned out that way, it was possible. Even more possible, since me parents were what they were.”

“Nay, Lucas, there is still a choice.” She turned in the circle of his arms and touched her hand to his chest. “A good man wouldnae have taken a near-blind woman intae his home for the rest of her days. A woman who was nae his kin and to whom he owed nothin’.”

He nodded, but then he grinned. “Aye, but what if that woman were the bonniest woman in the Highlands? I ken many a man who would be tempted by that.”

She rolled her eyes. “Ye dinnae ken that when ye came to fulfill yer vow. Ye are a good man, Lucas, nay matter how much ye like to joke about it.”

A sharp knock made them both jolt to attention. But when Caitlin expected to hear Arla’s voice, she heard Archie’s instead.

“Laird, ye must ride to the borders again. Another skirmish. Just received word.”

“Bloody Hell.” Lucas jumped out of bed and pulled on his trews.

He paused and leaned down over her, kissing her softly and gently, pulling on her bottom lip in the way that made her crave for more.

“I am sorry, Love, but I have to go.”

“Aye,” she said, nodding, and with a quick smile, he left.

Caitlin sat up, a wicked smile on her face. He called her ‘Love’. That was a good sign, and perhaps after today, he was even closer to revealing his heart to her. The only embarrassing thing was the fact that Archie knew to come here to find Lucas. With a groan, she laid back on the bed and covered her eyes. Breakfast was certainly going to be interesting.