Page 31 of When a Highlander Vows (Enemies to Lovers #1)

31

W hen Caitlin left Sarah’s chamber, she walked out of the castle, forgetting about Bram’s treats, and she took herself to Seamus’ grave. It was risky, considering it was now turning toward the late afternoon, but she had to be alone. She wanted to stand by her brother and to look out over the sea which had taken him away from her.

She also loved the way the breeze blew over the soft grasses in the castle’s valley, and the scent of the salty sea spray in the air made everything else melt away. Fallows had come with her too, which made her feel a little safer, and she knew the guards were watching from their perches on the castle.

When she reached the stone at last, she smiled, putting her hand upon it, thinking of Seamus. After some time, she spoke.

“Ye wouldnae believe where life has taken me now, Seamus. As ye have always had yer own adventures, I too am off on me own. It has taken a turn I dinnae expect.”

She moved to be able to sit on the stone and look out at the blurry, gray sea.

Smiling into the breeze, she said, “I have wished to speak to ye so many times, Brother, over these past weeks. I thought when ye left me that life would be over. That I would have nay one for the rest of me days, but yer friend has brought me into his castle. I have been given life anew.”

She wiped a tear as it fell, and her smile faded. “A piece of me heart will always be with ye, Seamus. I love ye, but I ken ye are restin’ with maither and faither now. Wait for me, will ye?” she asked the wind.

When the news of Seamus’ death had first settled over her in her small house on the hill, she wondered if living was worth it. Her future had stretched out darkly in front of her to her weak eyes, and all she’d seen was loneliness. But now at the castle, always surrounded by others, she hadn’t felt lonely in weeks.

She sat in silence for a long while, listening to the breeze and the sea. When she closed her eyes to shut out the blurry world, sounds became even stronger, and for a time, she was lost in a darkness filled with only sounds and smells. It grounded her, and as she sat, the clenching around her heart lessened. Even if Lucas did not return her affections in the same way, it was not the end. She had a life to lead and wonderful friends to help her to lead it. She did not need to stay in the castle, either, but she could return home, and she would still have the friends she had so come to love.

What of Bram? Her mind taunted.

While it was lovely to have handsome male company paying her attention, she enjoyed his company only in that he amused her. She’d decided that as soon as Lucas’ lips had touched hers again after his days away. No one, aside from him, could arouse her passion with such a fury. Her body listened to the words his body spoke, while Bram only aroused an attraction that she might feel with any good-looking young man.

He will have to be told. For I dae fear he will begin to come courtin’ soon enough.

Caitlin stayed a little longer until she heard footsteps from behind her, and she turned to see Lucas coming her way. Her first instinct was to turn away, to give herself time to gather her thoughts. After the kiss in the library and her tears with her friends, she wasn’t sure what she’d say.

And then he was right beside her, first leaning down to rub Fallows on the head and then standing tall. For a few seconds, they simply stared out to sea together, and Caitlin let out a breath. She’d seen his face after she’d told him that what he’d done was hurting her. Him touching her and then leaving suddenly, proclaiming that it was wrong.

He had been truly sorry, and while he seemed sorry to have hurt her, she knew that she’d not like to hurt him either. If the mysterious men they’d met on her way to the castle had come right then to fight against him, she knew she’d fight tooth and nail to keep him safe.

Nae merely hidin’ away in a bush.

She was tired of always hiding away. Lucas was doing the same when it came to her, but she wanted to be bold, to be free, to let it be known that her heart was claimed. As he stood beside her, she could feel the warmth of his presence. It made her feel safe, protected, even loved, despite all his fears.

“Thank ye for the stone,” she said softly. “Like I had hoped, it gives me a place to think of Seamus. Perhaps it does the same for ye?”

“Aye.” She looked up to see him nodding. “Although I daenae wish to disturb ye.”

“Nay. I want someone to share this with me. Ye are the only one around here who kenned Seamus and loved him. It is grief shared.” Her instinct was to reach out and grasp his hand, and she even looked down at it, the urge so strong.

But she held back, and instead, she clasped her hands together. “Thank ye for what ye did for Rachel and Mary, Lucas,” she said, and he nodded.

“It was what ye wanted. And it was the right thing.”

Before she replied, he spoke. “Would ye still like to learn to swim, Lass?” Lucas asked, his face curling into a cheeky smile.

“Aye, I suppose I dae.”

“Well then, today is the day.” He started stalking off toward the beach, and with a smile, Caitlin stared after him for a little before she jumped up and hurried to catch up, Fallows barking and running after them.

He needed to leave again, that day in fact, if he was going to get his plan for Caitlin to forgive him in order, but he didn’t want to do it without seeing her again. Leaving things as they were was not an option, or he wouldn’t be able to bear the torture of it on his travels with only the pain in her eyes the last image he had of her in his mind.

So, after he left his study, drunk as could be, he asked a servant where to find the lass, and he was pointed in the right direction. The brisk afternoon air made him feel stronger, and as he approached her, he smiled. Caitlin was lovely in every sense of the word. And he watched her for a little, trying to memorize the line of her face and the color of her hair. As they sat in companionable silence, thinking about Seamus together, he had a wild, rebellious idea. It was risky, considering how much he wanted her, how much he enjoyed the feel of her under his hands. But it could still help her, still make her happy, even if there was no touching between them.

He asked her if she wanted to swim, and then he walked forward, knowing she would soon follow. Despite all her goodness, some purity, he knew that Caitlin enjoyed the wildness. He knew that she was tired of being trapped by her eyesight. And he smiled to himself when he heard her footsteps across the gravel of the beach.

“Lucas, yer mad!” she cried, but she was laughing. “It is nae warm enough, it bein’ late afternoon.”

“Nay matter. The water here is always cold, Lass, and it invigorates the body.” He waved to her as he hurried forward, jogging over the beach until they reached the water.

Quickly, he began to remove his clothes, and Caitlin exclaimed again.

“Lucas, surely, ye daenae mean for us to strip down out in the open like this?” He could hear her hesitate. “Together?”

Trying to keep his chuckle to himself, he straightened. “I willnae undress all the way, of course. And ye mustnae either.”

Although that might make things more interesting.

He kept his gaze firmly down as he focused on removing his jacket and shirt, and heard the rustle of fabric as she removed the bodice and the overskirt. Once he was ready, he turned back. Only a little. And held out his arm.

“Hold onto me, Sunshine,” he said, knowing what her touch would do to him, but it was nothing more than he deserved.

She did as he said, and out of the corner of his eye, saw her in her white under skirts and stays. And he bit back a groan. He had seen her somewhat bare but not all the way, and now he was being a saint, trying his best not to let his mind wander to all the ways they could tangle up in each other.

Her sharp gasp as they entered the icy water made him laugh. Fallows barked too as she dove in, rushing around excitedly.

“Aye, ‘tis cold enough to freeze a man’s bollocks off,” Lucas said, and then he laughed again when he saw her surprised face.

“Sorry, Sunshine, I forget I shouldnae be so crass and crude when ye are around.”

“Stop that. I had a brother, remember. I am nae so fragile as ye would like to believe,” she said quietly, and Lucas found he did not have an answer to that.

It is nae that ye are fragile, Lass, but that whatever is in me could be dangerous. Could hurt anyone in me path.

She started shrieking with laughter the deeper they went. The waves were strong, but he held her tight, pulling her arm closer together to his side. And when they made their first plunge into the cold depths? He could still feel her hand on his arm. When they emerged, she gasped, but he knew it was just because of the cold water. And it was shallow enough that they could still stand.

“Like this, Sunshine,” he said, letting go of her for a moment to show her how to move her arms.

He swam away from her a bit to demonstrate, and when he got close to her again, she sunk into the water and tried for herself. He couldn’t help it; he was having fun. Her lovely brown eyes were sparkling against the gray of the water, and her blonde hair, now soaked, clung to the sides of her face and neck.

“Exhilaratin’,” she said with a bright smile. “Thank ye, Lucas. But I am nae sure I would be able to swim for long, nae with these currents.”

Another waved rolled them back toward the shore, and protectively, he reached out to grab her to steady her.

“Aye, true enough.” They stood, and she tripped a little on the stones beneath her feet, falling into him.

He held her close, loving the feel of her wet body against his, but quickly, before desire took over and something more he couldn’t identify, he pulled away, making sure that she could stand well on her own two feet.

She painted a bewitching picture, beads of seawater rolling from her hair down her bare chest, collecting in the lovely cleft of her breasts which pushed up a little from her stays.

“We should go inside then,” he said, helping her out of the water, trying to push down the odd and mixed feelings that were swirling around inside him.

He wanted to be near her; he wanted her to think well of him, and he wanted to keep her safe, make her happy. It felt like something like love.

“Aye, but I would like to sit on the rock a bit longer, Lucas, if ye could help me there.”

“Aye.” He didn’t say anything else for a little while, and once they reached the rock, she sat down again. “Be careful, Sunshine. Daenae stay out for long.” He looked up at the sky to keep from looking at her. “It will get cooler soon.”

“Daenae worry, Lucas. I can take care of meself. And I have Fallows to watch over me.”

That made him look at her, and he gave her a soft smile. “Of course.”

He turned to go, when Caitlin turned back to him and said, “I like to hear yer laugh, Lucas.”

He paused but only for a moment, and then he was gone, walking back to the castle to prepare for his journey. The journey that could change the course of his life.