Page 22 of When a Highlander Vows (Enemies to Lovers #1)

22

C aitlin gulped at the wine, hoping it would quell the trembling in her legs. She tried to tell herself that it was a fear of the crowd that had her in its grasp, having not heard or felt so many people around her in some time. The fact that she could not see them all very clearly irritated her and made her feel like an animal in a cage being prodded and poked at by strangers.

But truly, it was the dance which had made her muscles feel as though they didn’t belong to her, like someone else was pulling the strings and controlling her movements. Lucas had been grim, but he had not been displeased when he’d agreed to dance the first dance with her.

In fact, she had felt safe in his arms as they’d moved, her following his lead as best she could. With the rest of the room blurred to her vision, only his face was clear. The face that was becoming burned into her mind, appearing in her imagination even when he was not there. The eyes, so dark they looked nearly black, were actually dark brown, and the green flecks in them had been even more visible in the firelight.

He had begun to grow a beard, the color of charcoal just like his hair, and it gave him an even more fearsome, manlier appearance. But to her, it only made her want to run her fingers along his jaw to explore the new planes of his face. The beard had also drawn her eyes to his lips, remembering what pleasure he had wrought by simply kissing her.

It is just yer grief that makes ye want him so. It is nae real. It cannae be.

Her mind tried to remind her of sense, even though her heart wavered, pattering more quickly when Lucas was near. And now, she stood alone by the Laird’s table. He’d left her as quickly as possible after the dance, and she could no longer see him.

It is because he is telling me without words that he does nae want me. I must learn to listen to that.

She took another sip of wine when a few people began to approach her, greeting her kindly. Smiling at them, she spoke as friendly as she could, trying to remember that it would be over soon, and she would be able to be in her chamber again on her own. A servant came by, filling her wine, and she thanked him with a smile, turning back toward the others when she saw Paige in front of her.

“Miss MacLennan,” Paige said briskly.

“Caitlin, please,” Caitlin replied.

The others who had been standing nearby gave their goodbyes and returned to the merriment of dancing and feasting.

Paige put her hands on her hips, looking Caitlin up and down. “Ye have had a tryin’ day, I am sure, the buryin’ of yer brother and all.”

“Aye. But this was a way to remember him. I shall always be grateful to Lottie and Lucas for preparin’ this in honor of his memory.” Not knowing what to say next, and curious that Paige should be a little kind to her, Caitlin drank instead of saying more.

But that kindness was soon lost as Paige’s expression turned icy. “I see the two of ye are already on a first-name basis, even though ye have only just arrived.”

“Aye,” Caitlin said with a flush. “I suppose it is rather odd, but he asked it of me.”

“I see.” One brow arched on Paige’s face. “Well,” she said in a low voice, stepping closer. “Even though ye have been shown great kindness here, Lass, daenae think that I too am so easily swayed by yer polite demeanor and bonnie looks. I ken ye are waitin’ for the Laird to ask ye for yer hand, so that ye can rule as the Lady of McDougall Clan.”

Caitlin’s mouth opened, shocked by Paige’s stark words. “Paige, ye are mistaken.”

“I daenae think so. I have lived a life and seen many things, most of all people who would dae anythin’ they can for money and power. But I willnae let ye. I care about the Laird and his heart, and ye cannae simply come into the Castle and take him as ye please. It is I who deserve him after so many years servin’ this Clan and this Castle. I have loved him for a long while.” Paige lifted her chin and stared directly into Caitlin’s surprised eyes.

Embarrassed by her own desire for Lucas, she reached out an arm to touch Paige’s. Paige stilled, looking down at the gesture with confusion.

“Please, Paige, dae listen. Ye cannae think that I have any hope of catchin’ the Laird’s eye, or for gettin’ him to propose marriage. It is only Lottie who pushes us together for a reason I daenae understand.” She chuckled morbidly. “I am nearly blind. Ye cannae believe that a man like Lucas would ever consider me. I am a broken woman and can hardly live a normal life. Nay man would want me for a wife.”

She smiled, and Paige’s angry expression slowly smoothed. “Och, aye,” she said, removing her arm from Caitlin’s grasp, now looking uncomfortable. “Quite right.” Her tone was calmer now, not so filled with anger.

“Since I am to live here for some time, I dae hope that there is a chance we may be friends, of a sort. I have nay wish to take anyone, and I dinnae even wish to come here. I was perfectly satisfied in me little home. This was all Lucas’ doin’.”

Paige nodded. “Aye, true enough. I will leave ye be, Lass.” Without answering Caitlin’s plea for friendship, Paige turned and left, looking at least suitably chastened for the time being.

Sighing, Caitlin turned back to the Laird’s table, and she found a seat. The others joined her, and food was served. She ate and drank, feeling warm and giddy with the wine in her veins. Lucas was so busy talking to the others at the table, they hardly spoke.

But Sarah and Archie told a few charming tales, and Caitlin found herself laughing loudly with the rest of them.

“And then he fell right into the hearth, naked as the day he was born,” Sarah said, laughing, the others following suit.

Archie chuckled, turning only slightly red. “Aye, I think I had a pair of twin bruises on me ass for about two weeks.”

Caitlin laughed, joining in the merriment, enjoying feeling a part of something. The castle was beginning to feel like a home, even though there was so much uncertainty around. A new friendship could bud with Paige, and she knew where she stood with Lucas. The amount of wine she’d consumed over the last two hours was beginning to make everything look a little brighter and happier.

They were celebrating Seamus, and she knew he’d wish her to be happy. Lucas, even though they didn’t speak, was looking at her kindly, and Sarah was speaking to her often, telling her how much she enjoyed having her at the castle. It was all wonderful, and she sighed with contentment as the others stood to return to the dancing.

“Are ye havin’ a pleasant time, Lass?” Lucas asked, leaning in.

Caitlin shook a little, pleased to feel Lucas’ breath against her ear. A warmth spread from the spot to everywhere else in her body.

“Aye, very pleasant,” she said, her words a little slurred.

She had never felt so bloody wonderful in the whole of her life.

“Will ye dance with me, again?” he asked, standing up and reaching down to lift her to her feet.

“Truly?” she asked, and he laughed, his smile devastatingly handsome.

“Aye. Truly. Come. I think with a bit of wine in ye, ye may nae be so nervous.”

As he led her through the crowd toward the dancing, Paige emerged, standing before them. “Lucas, I am so glad I found ye. Dae ye remember this dance? We’ve danced it many times before.” She grinned. “Will ye show me how it goes again?”

Lucas looked between her and Caitlin. “I am sorry, Lass, but I offered to show it to Caitlin. I dinnae want her to have to sit on her own again.”

“Och, I see.” Caitlin’s heart ached at the pain in Paige’s face, and she did not look back at her.

“Perhaps later,” he said, and Paige nodded, leaving them to walk on their own.

“Here we are,” he said as they stepped in among the dancers, already starting the song. “Put yer hands here,” he said, putting them on his shoulders. Now jump with me,” he said with a mischievous grin, and she followed him.

His hands slid around her waist, and he moved her body around as they spun and jumped, stopping for a few steps before continuing on. Caitlin began to laugh, her heart fuller than it had been in years. She hadn’t realized her loneliness and isolation was so great until she was in that room with hundreds of laughing, merry people. She had not seen Rachel or Mary the whole of the time, but it was all right. They all deserved a bit of joy after so long in difficulty.

“Incredible,” she said breathlessly as the dance finished, and she stumbled into Lucas’ arms.

Apparently, the wine had been stronger than expected. Or she’d consumed far more than her usual.

“Forgive me,” she giggled. “I think I have enjoyed meself far too much.”

“Never,” Lucas said with a smirk. “I am happy to see that ye are happy, Sunshine.”

Caitlin swallowed, finding his eyes as she looked up. She had only once argued with him on the use of that nickname, but now that she kept hearing it, she liked it. It made her feel wanted and accepted.

“Thank ye.” As they stepped free of the crowd, she put a hand to her head. “I am afraid though, that I am a little dizzy. I think I will go up to bed.”

“Nay!” he said sharply, his hand grabbing her arm, but then he cleared his throat and softened his tone. “I only mean that ye must allow me to accompany ye. I wouldnae want ye to trip up the stairs, even though ye ken the Castle so well now.”

“Thank ye. That would be very helpful.” She took his offered arm, and they pushed through the merry partygoers, everyone’s face ruddy with wine and good food. “Are ye sure Lottie willnae mind?”

“Nay,” he said, “It has been many hours, and this is yer first large feast, is it nae?”

“Aye, but it has been more fun than I expected. Will ye tell Rachel and Mary I have gone to bed? That I will see them on the morrow?” When they exited through the main hall doors, and they shut behind them, Caitlin felt cooler.

“Aye, of course, Lass.”

The castle’s chill was welcome as they passed along the wide entry to the base of the stone stairs. “Me goodness, I dinnae realize how hot it was in there.”

As if waiting for her, Percy and Fallows appeared out of nowhere and started walking up the stairs alongside her, brushing along the hem of her skirts, and Lucas looked down.

“It seems ye have made friends of these two,” he said.

“Aye, I enjoyed their company greatly when ye were gone away. Dae ye mind?” She winced, looking at him with concern.

“Nae at all.” He smirked at her. “They were needin’ a bit of love, I can say that. I was never very good at givin’ it.”

Caitlin tried not to think about the other meanings of that phrase. The wine really was giving her the most elaborate imagination, especially with him so near. They walked in silence to her chamber, as she tried to tamp down the odd pathways of her imaginings. But unconsciously, she leaned on him as the world began to spin.

“I daenae think I have ever drunk so much wine in me life,” she giggled again and then hiccupped, just as they reached her door, and she could press her hand against it to hold her steady.

Lucas laughed under his breath, and he opened the door, scooping her up into his arms and pushing the door open with his shoulder. Fallows and Percy scampered inside and made themselves comfortable by the hearth.

“Ye are most welcome to it, Lass. Seamus would want ye to have a good time. I kenned the man well enough.”

Caitlin didn’t have much time to think about being held in Lucas’ arms because he quickly laid her down on the bed. But he did not straighten right away, and his hand reached up to brush a strand of hair out of her face. The feel of his fingertip on her skin made a little tingle of anticipation run down her spine.

“Ye should rest. It will feel better in the mornin’. Or rather, the dizziness will end but ye may have a headache when ye awake. It may feel like yer head is a drum and someone is beatin’ on it.”

“Ugh,” she groaned. “I daenae wish for that. But I suppose it was worth it for a few hours of joy and merriment.”

“Like I said, ye deserve it, Lass, and Seamus would want it for ye.” She watched as his eyes moved across her face as if studying it.

There was something like a smile on his face, but she wasn’t quite sure. He seemed disposed to always be smirking or looking fierce, but she hoped one day to see his bright, full smile and she acknowledged what a powerful thing it would be.

She sat up a little and reached forward to kiss him on the cheek, eager to feel the roughness of his beard under her lips. And to thank him for his help and kindness to her. But he’d sat up too far, and she couldn’t reach him.

So instead, she put out her hands and grabbed at his shoulders, pulling him down toward her. But either the wine or her blurred vision got in the way, and instead of kissing him on the cheek as she’d planned, she placed a kiss squarely on his lips.