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CHAPTER TWENTY

Noel

The next few days were a clusterfuck of trying to get the recordings from Rose and hacking into databases to get autopsy reports—which I was sure Agent Rose was purposely making difficult for me.

Seriously, if he spent half the time on this investigation as he did trying to stop me and my brothers from finding this psycho, I swore he’d be found.

Aziza wanted to try hypnosis on Phoenix before the recordings, thinking that she could perhaps soften anything he might hear should Hank’s father or brother be the definite match on the voice.

We were all invested in Phoenix’s safety and if that meant finding Adonis ourselves, we were fine with that at this point.

I was just finishing up lunch when Phoenix entered the kitchen and sidled up next to me.

“Hey.” I smiled, loving when his cheeks blushed. We hadn’t kissed or anything since the other night, but I was letting him take the reins on this for sure. I was open to it, and I tried to be transparent with that openness.

“Hi, um, so Aziza is here and wanted to do some hypnosis on me, more in-depth stuff…do you think you can sit in?”

“Of course.”

He breathed in relief. “I don’t know what she’s going to ask me to do.”

“Nothing crazy. You’ll likely be in a dreamlike state. She’s careful, I promise, and won’t leave you a mess. It’s not her way.”

“I’d just feel better if you were there.”

My chest felt warm. He was so sweet, beautiful, and every day he was pulling himself out of the hell that maniac had put him through, and it was an honor to be part of it, but more so him wanting me to be part of it too.

“Where are we doing this?”

“Right, so there’s another bedroom she said would be best. Comfortable, but won’t be associated to the one I sleep in or a room I go into often.” He shrugged. “She’s the doc, she knows.”

I nodded. “Lead the way.”

Aziza was waiting for us with a smile. She sat on a chair beside the bed and motioned to the mattress.

“So, Phoenix, you’ll lie here, and Noel, there’s a chair on the other side. I wasn’t sure how Phoenix would like you to be present.”

“Oh.” Phoenix’s eyes widened. “However he’s comfortable.”

I chuckled. “I’m here for you, Phoenix, so where do you think will be best? And honestly, what won’t hinder this session?”

“This is about comfort and safety for Phoenix, so it doesn’t matter in this instance. Whatever you two decide, it will work for me.”

I glanced at Phoenix. He knew exactly where he wanted me but was afraid to say it. We were feeling each other out—this was a hard time for him, so I’d just offer.

“We liked cuddling, remember?”

His head shot up. “Yeah…”

“How about I lie on the bed, and you rest on me like the other night?”

He bit his lip, the corner of his mouth curling. “You’d be okay with that?”

“I’d be very okay with that.”

I hopped on the bed, my body bouncing, and tucked my hands behind my head. Thankfully, he laughed and slowly, and far less dramatically, came to lie beside me.

“Now.” Aziza folded her hands on her lap. “Phoenix, I’m going to put you into a calming state. You’ll hear my voice, and I will make sure you remain safe. Oftentimes you’ll hear me ask you to tell me what you feel around you that is real. This anchors you, and it’s what Noel is there for.”

I squeezed him lightly. “Yep, that’s me. A heavy, rusty anchor.”

Phoenix sniggered, which made me happy. I wanted this to help him, not pull him under.

“Ready?” Aziza asked. He looked up at me, and I grinned.

“You got this.”

He nodded and she began. At first it was just her telling him to listen to her.

Each passing minute, I could feel him sinking deeper.

It was almost hard for me to stay focused as I wanted to close my eyes, but she really seemed to know how to home in on this being about him, and so I kept holding him as he slunk into the darkness, back into that shed with that man… that voice.

I wanted to tear through it all and yank him out and beat the memory to dust so it could never hurt him ever again.

“Phoenix, remember, Noel and I are right there with you. This isn’t real, just a memory. Can you tell me what you’re feeling?”

“I feel Noel.”

I glanced at her, worried that this was going to be a problem, but she waved the concern off.

“Good, hold on to him. What are you seeing?”

“The shed. A room, it’s small. It’s where I stay with him.”

I clenched my jaw. Stay…? No, he’d never be back there.

“Can you smell anything?”

“Earth…it’s weird, like clean dirt?”

She hummed. “Makes sense. Do you hear anything?”

He was silent for a beat. “Crunching, like leaves, a sliding sound.”

He’d been in the woods, so that tracked. Wasn’t sure what the sliding sound was, though.

“Like someone is walking on leaves, or the wind is rustling them?” she asked.

“Walking.” His voice shook, and I could feel the tremble in his bones. I pulled him closer, silently telling him I was there.

“Is it him, Phoenix?”

He nodded. “He’s here.”

“He’s not there, Phoenix. It’s a memory, and he can’t hurt you. Feel Noel. Can you do that?”

He gripped the fabric of my shirt so tightly, his nails bit into my flesh. I covered his hand with mine so he knew I was there, but I kept silent.

“I feel him.”

“Your anchor, hold him and you’ll be safe.”

She gave Phoenix a moment, and soon he relaxed into me. I was having a difficult time containing my rage for this monster. I had to take a few deep breaths myself, which didn’t go unnoticed by Aziza.

“Now, Phoenix, in this memory, he’s going to come inside. I just want you to pay attention to details, his voice, how he holds himself. Remember, he can’t touch you.”

“Okay.”

“He enters the shed; what’s the first thing you notice about him?”

“His mask. It’s on. He just looks at me, says nothing.”

“Is there anything in his hands?”

“He has gloves on. A lunchbox. He’s here to feed me.”

“Tell me the memory, Phoenix. Play it all out for me a piece at a time, with Noel right next to you.”

I stared at the ceiling, trying to picture every word Phoenix said, so I could be as much in this as he was.

“He kneels in front of me, puts the black lunchbox down and opens it. It’s water, a sandwich…ham and cheese, an apple, and corn chips.”

“Very good, Phoenix. What else?”

“He tells me to eat it all, every bite, that I needed to stay healthy, it was important.”

“What did his voice sound like?”

“Gravelly, deep, bored.”

“Does he stay with you while you eat?” How Aziza was staying so calm when I wanted to scream was a testament to her professionalism.

“He always stays.”

“Does he talk to you while you eat?”

He simply nodded.

“What did he say to you in this particular memory, Phoenix?”

Again, he gripped my shirt, and I curled my fingers with his.

“He told me he was the last person I’d ever know, the only truth I’d ever hear, and when my time was up and I had completed my purpose, I’d know my pathetic life actually served him well.”

Yeah, I was motherfucking going to skin this psycho alive.