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CHAPTER NINETEEN

Phoenix

Hazel sat with me on my bed. Aziza had warned me about this—we all had been put on alert—but it felt like it was happening so much faster than I’d been ready for…if ready was the right word.

She rubbed my back as I faced the large window in my room, my thoughts spinning. That poor man—what pains and torture had Adonis brought down on him? When I’d been in Noel’s room I hadn’t been able to fully see the body from my vantage point, but I could tell there’d been no care taken.

I didn’t really know what to do with myself.

I could offer no help, and as I’d sat on Noel’s bed earlier I’d overheard Hazel asking JJ if he’d call Aziza, and he’d let her know she’d already been told.

I didn’t want to talk about this. Not everything needed to be talked about—I just wanted to digest it all; that was what I wanted.

“Can I get you anything?” Hazel’s voice was soft, as if she were afraid to jolt me from my calm.”

“No.”

“It’s gonna be okay, Nix. You’re safe here.”

I released a humorless laugh. “Don’t be daft, Hazel.”

“You said so yourself, you feel safe here. Did you lie?”

I rolled over and faced her. “I do, but he’s angry now, Hazel. He did exactly what Aziza warned us he would, and I honestly don’t know what that means. Am I safer here than anywhere else? Probably, but if he wants me, how am I supposed to believe he won’t get me?”

“I don’t think anything can get through the Saints’ defenses. These guys, they’re good at what they do.”

“I know, but I’m allowed to be afraid, and maybe slightly unsafe. Let me be that.”

She nodded and wrapped her arms around me. We lay like that for a while until a knock separated us. Hazel got up and answered the door.

Noel stood there, eyes heavy with a kaleidoscope of emotions.

“We got some visitors, think you can come to the living room?”

It was ridiculously late…or early, depending on how you wanted to look at it, but I’d long realized no slumber was going to find me tonight.

“Who?” Hazel asked.

“Aziza, Rose…”

Of course. “Let’s just get this over with.” I slunk out of bed and followed Noel down the stairs, Hazel on my heels.

When I entered the living room, it was teeming with people. The brothers, their partners, Rose, and Aziza. All eyes were on me as I moved to the wingback chair by the fireplace. Four was sitting in the other and he met my gaze briefly, offering me a curt nod.

“Hey, Phoenix.” Aziza smiled. “How are you holding up?”

I didn’t want to talk about me. “I know the guy is dead. How bad was it? What did the note say?” I wasn’t going to pretend that Agent Rose didn’t know we were informed.

Rose narrowed his eyes on Noel. “It was brutal, Phoenix, I won’t lie. But I won’t have the facts of it all until he’s been examined. As for the note. It seems he was unhappy with how his plans were screwed with, and he took it out on Brady Cunningham.”

“Is there a reason you’re not telling us what the note said?” Shep sat forward, glaring at Rose. “Just fucking tell him.”

Rose sighed but answered him. “ ‘Time has no meaning unless it’s mine. You broke my pattern, I broke this dim replacement. Return my rebirth, or more will suffer.’”

“Lovely,” Angel muttered from beside Aziza.

“He referred to it as his rebirth,” Noel said and Aziza nodded.

“He’s making no secret who he sees himself as, which means he realizes Phoenix likely told us what he wanted to be called. He isn’t hiding the truth of it.”

“Were you able to follow the truck?” Nick asked Noel.

“Follow the truck?” Agent Rose snapped. “What the hell are you all doing, impeding an investigation?”

“Impeding?” Noel went right at Rose. “We get more than you, we are pushing it along, your force is understaffed and underfunded. We were hired to keep Phoenix safe, and we will do exactly that. Maybe sit down and let the big boys work.”

“You piece of…” Rose stepped forward, but Angel blocked his way.

“Reevaluate where you think this is going to go, Rose.” Angel was an imposing figure, and the agent did step away.

“Just tell me, where’d the truck go?”

Noel smirked from behind Angel. “Train station on Gledder Ave. He left it there and got on the train, but I couldn’t see where he went.”

Rose pulled out his phone and was ordering his people to the station. He did say thank you, and judging by the roll of Noel’s eyes, he didn’t care much.

“So he’s going to keep kidnapping random people and doing whatever he did with Brady until I go to him?” My voice shook. “I can’t go back to him, but he will keep his word, he will?—”

“Nix.” Hazel rushed over and wrapped me in her arms.

“You’re going nowhere.” Noel pointed a finger at Rose. “You all better get your shit together. You’ve gotten a ton of info. What’s the news with the other recording, and Hank?”

“You’re getting very demanding, Mr. Saint.” Agent Rose slipped his phone into his pocket.

“And you’re not getting demanding enough!

” Noel was enraged. His face turned bright red, and he moved around Angel and toward Rose.

“People are dying, more will die because none of you know what the ever-loving fuck you’re doing.

” He faced me, expression softening. “You stay here, you go nowhere. Adonis is a monster and wants to drag you out, but you are safe here and nothing he does should make you feel obligated.” He once again rounded on Rose. “Do your fucking job!”

“I’ve about had it with you,” Rose shouted.

“Then it’s time for you to go. Don’t return without those recordings. You’re wasting time being here with us when you should be out there catching the devil,” Gabe growled. “Good night.”

“Stay out of my investigation.”

Angel snorted. “You don’t even have one; you’re pissing in a circle. We will keep Phoenix safe, however that looks to us. Don’t like it? Beat us to Adonis…” Angel got right up in Rose’s face. “Think you can find him first?”

“I will arrest you all and take over Phoenix’s care if I see any of you sniffing where you shouldn’t. Do I make myself clear?”

No one responded, but Matt got up and opened the door. “Have a good night, Agent.” Matt’s tone was icier than I’d ever heard.

The agent left, but the heaviness didn’t go away. I was terrified, conflicted. Was my life any better than anyone else’s? One life for many?

“Stop that train of thought.” Noel kneeled in front of me, and Hazel moved aside.

“You’re worth everything, Phoenix. Adonis is scaring you.

No one can stop him from whatever he’s planning.

I don’t know if more will die before they catch him, but my job is you, and I don’t fail.

None of us do. Stay strong, because that’s how you were built. ”

I wrapped myself around him. It was exactly what I’d needed to hear at that moment. I was so fucked up, but for a little while, Noel calmed the storm in my head and I didn’t ever want to let go.