Page 16

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Phoenix

I walked into the kitchen at the wrong time.

“Nick’s slightly thicker than me, but I’m a little longer.”

I tried to turn around and leave, but at that moment Mason and JJ were entering, so I walked farther into the room and the conversation I wanted no part of.

“And you measured?” Four’s head was tilted. He truly seemed curious.

Nick snorted. “Of course we did.”

“Interesting.” Four made an mmhmm sound and shoveled cereal into his mouth.

“What’s interesting?” JJ wondered aloud as he poured coffee, and I couldn’t warn him in time.

“Four wanted to know if we were identical in every way but truth is, we’re not. We have a few different things and one is our…” Noel pointed to his dick.

JJ blinked, frozen. “You…” He glanced at Four. “Sweetheart, are you okay? Did this conversation traumatize you?”

Four shook his head. “I was curious.”

JJ hummed, “But did you really ask for that?”

Four placed his spoon in the bowl and shrugged. “When you ask a question, you open yourself up to not liking the answer. I can’t be upset about Noel’s and Nick’s responses.”

“You most certainly can.” Mason moved to the table with his steaming mug.

“Morning, Phoenix.” Noel smiled as if this entire situation wasn’t awkward as fuck.

“Yeah, morning.”

“Are you traumatized?” JJ came up to me, eyes imploring.

“I wish I came in here a few minutes later, but the damage has been done.”

Nick cackled, and I saw Noel roll his eyes.

“Why are you asking if Phoenix is traumatized?” Shep walked in, kissed JJ on the head, and moved to the coffeepot.

“No!” Mason shouted. “We aren’t talking about this anymore. What’s everyone up to today?”

“I’m going to the shop with Shep and JJ,” Four answered.

“I have dark web deep-diving to do.” I looked at Noel and frowned. “No big—I’m used to it.”

How could anyone be used to going into the most evil recesses of the Internet where the monsters were most vile and witness any of that? Was this normal practice for him? How was he sane?

“Aziza is coming in a little while, right?” Hazel squeezed my shoulder as she passed by.

“Yeah. We’re going to take a walk.”

Hazel regarded me and everyone else. “Is that safe?”

“He’ll be on the property.” Nick smiled. “I’ll be here today and watch the cameras, don’t worry.”

“Morning, all, I am running late.” Matt rushed in and grabbed a thermos Nick was holding out for him. “Thank you.”

“Have a good day, dear,” Nick shouted but Matt was already gone. He was a physical therapist, and I hadn’t seen a ton of him since I’d been here, but he was nice and I knew that awhile back he’d had a stalker and that Nick and the brothers had helped him through that.

Breakfast was a whirlwind with simple selections. I grabbed some cereal and toast and ate with Hazel while everyone moved about, going over what their day looked like. Aside from my appointment with Aziza, I didn’t think I had anything else going on.

An hour and a half later I was outside, the sun shining on my face and the gentle breeze kissing my cheeks. Aziza was doing her usual pleasantries, gauging where my head was at.

“Are you feeling good today?”

“I’m okay.”

“Anything new going on in that brain of yours?”

I chuckled. “There’s always something. I did watch one of my ballets yesterday.”

“Oh? That’s wonderful. Which one?”

“ Giselle .”

She blew a raspberry. “So dark.”

“I know, I don’t know why I was drawn to watching that one. I just was, and I thought it best to follow my feelings.”

“Follow your feelings…you say that like it was torture.”

I lifted my shoulder. “Noel actually found me, and we talked. It wasn’t so bad.”

“You’ve told me before that the two of you have had a few encounters. Do you connect with him more than most?”

I nodded. “Something about the way he just is, I dunno.”

We stopped at a bench overlooking a cliff and sat.

“Oftentimes we assume that conversation is how people connect, how we find the person whose energy matches their own. But through the years I’ve discovered that sometimes it’s a physical reaction.

Noel calms something inside of you, and there isn’t always a reason for that. ”

That made all the sense. I’d noticed that when he was near, the frantic fizzy feeling in the pit of my stomach dulled. I hadn’t thought much about it until Aziza mentioned it.

“I suppose.”

“Phoenix, I’d like to ask you some questions, about him .”

Him was not Noel. She needed information to help me, but she’d mentioned that there might be pieces of my mind that were closing off, stopping me from remembering painful parts. I’d laugh over that since it was all painful, but I’d trust the process.

“Okay.”

Her smile was warm, and in my gut I knew she was about to deliver a blow.

“It has been brought to my attention that there has been another missing person.”

I’d been afraid that would happen. It was what he did, right? Gathered toys.

“I see.”

“Here’s the thing, Phoenix. And I want you to take a deep breath, because what I’m about to say may shock you.”

I liked that about Aziza—she prepared me for things, knew how to talk to me.

“Let’s hear it.”

“The man who was taken, he looks so much like you and before this none have appeared similar, only beautiful.”

I dipped my chin. “And you think this man, he’s replacing me?” I didn’t understand how she’d think that would surprise me. I wasn’t special to him or anyone; of course he was going to find another person to fill the spot I took.

“That’s the thing, Phoenix. He can’t replace you. I believe he thinks he can, and I also feel this will blow back on him, and the repercussions of that will be devastating.”

Devastating… “For whom?”

She nodded. “You’re so smart, Phoenix. It will be devastating for the man and you.”

“Me?”

“As I’ve told you, I feel he’s following the path of Adonis, probably why he refers to himself as such.

This victim he has, it doesn’t fit the pattern of behavior.

His creations, rebirth. You fell through the cracks before you came to fruition.

He can’t rush the process; in his mind it can’t happen.

And so, I fear he will snap. The man will pay the price, and he will leave the scene for you. ”

“I…I don’t understand.”

“In the next week or so, I truly believe, if I’ve profiled Adonis correctly, we will come face-to-face with what happens when his plans are messed with. I want to find the man he kidnapped, but at the same time I need you not to spiral backward. He will blame you for this, but you’re not at fault.”

“You believe all this?”

“I do, Phoenix. So I’d like you to sit here and tell me all you can remember about him. If he can create a monster in your head, we can break it down so you see he’s imperfect, he is not the god he thinks he is…that he’s convinced you he is.”

It seemed Noel wasn’t the only one deep-diving into the darkest recesses today after all.