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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Noel

“Will you kiss me?”

Of all the things I’d thought Phoenix was about to ask, that hadn’t even been in the top twenty.

I was staring, barely blinking, didn’t know what to say.

Did I want to kiss him? Of course. Did I want to hinder his healing?

Never. Was this part of his process? Maybe saying no would be worse than saying yes.

“Oh, my God. I’m sorry, that was wrong. You may not even like men or me or…it was forward, stupid. I’m stupid.”

He was spiraling; I’d made it worse. When Phoenix stood, ready to bolt, I jumped up and carefully took his shoulders in a gentle embrace.

“Phoenix, no. I mean, no, don’t go. I was running all these scenarios in my head on how to respond.”

“Like what?” His hazel eyes shone with unshed tears—whether sadness, vulnerability, or a smattering of both, I wasn’t sure.

“Like…if I say no, will it hurt your recovery? If I say yes, like I very much want to, would that be good or bad? I…I don’t want to do anything to make what you’re going through worse.”

His smile was sweet; gone was the sad, haunted expression. “That’s exactly why I knew asking you was the right decision, Noel.”

“Really?”

“Aziza and I had been talking about you, as you know, and how safe I feel with you. I’m not in love with touch or conversation, everything in my head is a jumbled mess of fuckery, but when I sit with you, talk with you, anything at all, it quiets.

I’m attracted to you, yeah, but I want to see if the most intimate touch will push me closer to who I was or farther away, and I can’t think of anyone else that makes sense with in my head and heart other than you. ”

With a sigh, I cupped his slender face in the palms of my hands. I leaned in, giving him ample time to stop things, but he didn’t. Instead, right before our lips pressed together, he closed his eyes and released a whine that was heavy with relief, need, and so much want.

I was cautious to follow his lead but quickly realized that he was hoping I would. I couldn’t be sure what told me that, but it was as if I were in tune with him.

I lightly brushed my tongue over his lips and he eagerly opened, allowing me to sweep in and fuse us even deeper. His hands rested on my sides, and I felt him grip the fabric of my shirt and slightly pull me closer.

Reading his body language, I slipped my hands from his face and wrapped him in my arms devouring his cries, breaths, and vulnerability. I could stay like this all night if it was what he wanted.

We parted, and I didn’t know how much time had passed. His eyes opened slowly, followed by a blooming grin.

“That was amazing.”

I chuckled. “Outstanding.”

“I knew it would be okay…like, I wanted this, but I didn’t think it would be mind-bending.”

This guy was good for my ego. “Mind-bending, huh?”

His smile faltered. “Was I…was it good for you?”

I rolled my eyes and felt him try and pull away more, but I held strong. “It was the greatest kiss I’ve ever had.”

His head tilted. “You’re not just saying that to comfort my fragile psyche?”

My neck arched, and a boisterous laugh exploded out of me. After I calmed down, I was relieved to see he was trying to hold in his own laughter.

“I wouldn’t mind doing more of that,” I answered.

“Really?”

I wouldn’t rush him; he wasn’t ready. But he was craving safe touch, something that would bring him joy, and the rush of knowing he was very much alive.

I gestured to my bed. “I’m not doing more than kissing you right now, Phoenix. Maybe you think you’re ready, but I’m not. But what I would say hell yes to is maybe some cuddling and kissing.”

He eyed my bed, then bit his lip. If he said no, I’d make sure he understood that the truth was what I wanted.

“I…I think I’d like that.”

“Let’s give it a try, and if you hate it and want to leave, just go. No hard feelings.”

Neither one of us slipped out of our clothes; we stayed above the covers. I got on the bed first and lay on my back with an open arm. Slowly, Phoenix crawled onto the bed, rested his head on my chest, his arm draped over my stomach, and I wrapped him up close.

We were silent, didn’t in fact kiss, and within minutes we both fell asleep.

My phone was going off, and an alarm was blaring from my computer speakers.

“Noel!”

I shot up, my eyes going directly to my monitors. The one set up by the shop was going off. I grabbed my phone; the camera was picking up on something. There was a loud knock on my door; of course all my brothers had been alerted.

“It’s okay, Phoenix. It’s not at the house. You’re safe.”

He nodded, but there was no hiding how shaken he was. I wanted to hug his fear away, but I needed to act on this.

I rushed out of bed and opened my door to Nick. His gaze went to my bed briefly before looking at me.

“They aren’t breaking in, just triggered the alarm nearby.”

I nodded and went to my monitor, and he followed. I could go to the tech room, but these were closer.

“A flatbed,” I whispered. “It’s him.”

One thing we were able to determine was that this shitbag needed to transport his victims carefully. The way he broke their bodies, he had to be careful moving them. But the timeline wasn’t matching for this to be one of his masterpiece dolls. This was what Aziza had warned us about.

“I’m calling Rose,” I heard JJ say, so he must have been here too. “I don’t care at this point how this fucker is caught.”

No one argued. For once, I just wanted him off the street. I glanced again at Phoenix. Hazel was now with him, and I figured someone had gone and gotten her to soothe him, or she’d ended up hearing the commotion.

We watched on the monitor as he pulled a body bag from the flatbed with little care.

As if anger were driving his motions. He yanked it to the ground and unzipped it.

It was hard to see a clear picture, but this person wasn’t dressed like his dolls.

This was like an unloved ragdoll. No makeup, no finesse.

This was a message; he’d brought them to our shop because he knew we had Phoenix.

“Shep and I are going to the shop.” I heard Gabe and waved him off. Of course, some of us were going to hope to get there before the police.

I wasn’t sure they’d make it, considering how fast he was disposing of this guy.

He went to the back of his truck and grabbed a basket of very much alive flowers—you could see their vibrant colors. Threw them around body he’d carelessly tossed by our front entrance. That was followed by a note.

“It’s the opposite of everything he’s ever done.” Nick voiced exactly what I was thinking.

“I want to make sure we get to see what’s on that note,” I said. “Neither Rose nor Gabe and Shep are going to make it in time, but I’m going to follow this truck as long as I can in the hopes we can get either a general direction or an actual location of where it’s going.”

“Okay, I’ll call Gabe.”

When I looked over my shoulder to check on Phoenix, he was gone.