Page 58 of Want It All

Coming out of the heat was like waking from a dream.

I could remember everything that had happened, but it was fuzzy around the edges, like a long-ago memory.

I stretched in the nest-bed, feeling unfamiliar aches in my muscles, and a raw feeling elsewhere that I’d not experienced since I’d started fucking Tristan six years ago and neither of us had known what we were doing.

But I also felt peace . I inhaled, the scents of chocolate, vanilla, and salted caramel wrapping around me, smoothing the edges inside me that I hadn’t even noticed were rough. I felt like a puzzle that had finally been put together.

I touched my neck, but there was no pain, no broken skin.

A mix of disappointment and relief washed over me.

Disappointment because I wanted bites and bonds, badly.

Relief because in hindsight, I didn’t want those memories to be fuzzy.

I wanted my bites to be stories I told my grandchildren, something I thought about on my deathbed.

In fact, maybe filming it would be better, so I could watch the moment over and over, and force people I’d just met to relive my happiness the way that some people made you watch videos of their kids or pets.

‘Seb?’

I looked over to see Rose prop herself on one elbow. My heart expanded as I studied her, my poor, exhausted omega who’d worked so hard and made me feel so amazing. Her hair was a tangled mess, her skin pale, her eyes darkened with bruise-like shadows.

She was incredible.

‘Rosebud,’ I said. Or tried to, anyway; it came out as a croak. ‘I love you.’

‘Oh, Seb.’ She moved across the bed to give me a nuzzling kiss. ‘I suspect that’s the hormones talking. But I love you, too.’

I took her in my arms, the omega beneath my skin poking his head up to preen. ‘I didn’t do anything embarrassing, did I?’

‘No.’ She scent marked my cheek. ‘You were incredible. You were so beautiful, taking your alphas’ knots. A perfect omega.’

My cock jerked at that, but didn’t harden; I imagined it had done quite enough for the time being. ‘You didn’t bite me.’

She was silent for a moment. ‘You only asked each of us once,’ she said eventually. ‘And I know what you said, Seb, and I’m sorry, but it didn’t feel right. For any of us. I –’

‘I’m glad you didn’t,’ I interrupted. ‘I want a bonding ceremony instead.’

Her eyes widened. ‘With priests?’

‘Fuck the priests – not literally, obviously, and sorry for blaspheming and all that – but yeah. One where we have witnesses, and we bite each other, and ride off into the sunset or whatever. Maybe not on an actual horse, though,’ I went on, thinking about it.

‘I think Tris is allergic. A car would be better. But something special. Something we’ll remember forever. ’

Her eyes went misty and she sniffed. Huh. My Rosebud is a romantic . ‘That sounds lovely. But …’ Her eyes flickered to the side of the nest.

Where our alphas lay.

They were both asleep – sound asleep – but they’d curled around each other, as if their bodies knew they were supposed to be together. Byron’s arm was slung over Tristan’s waist, and my alpha’s expression was peaceful in a way I hadn’t seen for months.

‘Byron has had insomnia for weeks now,’ Rose murmured. ‘He fell asleep after the last knot, but lightly. He was restless until Tristan rolled next to him. They haven’t moved since.’

‘They’re such fools,’ I said fondly.

‘But they’re our fools.’

I smiled. ‘Yes. They’re ours.’ I rolled onto my back, taking Rose with me. She settled her cheek on my chest, listening to my heart beat, just as I’d done with Byron. ‘I think I finally feel like a real omega.’

‘Seb,’ Rose said. ‘You were always a real omega.’

‘You know what I mean.’ I waved a hand flippantly.

‘I’d never had a heat, so it didn’t feel that way to me.

It always felt like I was stuck half-way – not beta enough, not omega enough.

It always felt as if I was still waiting for something.

’ I kissed the top of her head. ‘Now I know what it was. A five-day sex-fest and more knots than I can count.’

‘I do remember feeling as if my heat had reset my body. Like I’d turned myself off and on again. Everything just felt … better.’

I frowned. ‘I wonder if this could happen to you?’

‘That my heat suppressants might fail, do you mean?’ She nuzzled into me. ‘Maybe we should plan for it, instead. Perhaps I could go off my suppressants at the end of the year, during the break.’

‘A Christmas heat,’ I murmured, thinking about it.

‘Mmm. Yes, please. We could go to Tristan’s island.

Or anywhere else you wanted. We could fly overseas, have a heat in the snow somewhere.

’ I rolled us over, licking at her scent gland, pressing my hips into hers.

‘We can work it out later. There’s something I want right now. ’

She blinked up at me, her lips parting. ‘You’re joking.’

‘I never joke about pancakes, Rosebud.’ I grinned and rolled off the bed, pulling her with me. ‘Let’s give the alphas some space and make some breakfast.’ My grin widened. ‘And if we happened to accidentally lock the door on the way and not open it until they’ve kissed and made up …’

‘It locks from the wrong side for that,’ Rose said, ever-practical. ‘But maybe the time alone will be good for them.’