Page 35 of Want It All

Even in pain, he was careful with me, endlessly considerate. He didn’t use me as a crutch, didn’t seek to find solace in my arms. I wasn’t sure I could have given it, anyway.

‘Bluebottle, Seb,’ Tristan called, gesturing with his chin.

I looked to my left to see what he’d spotted; the barely perceptible creature buffeted by the whitewash. I backed out of the water, then folded next to Tristan on the sand.

‘It’s beautiful here,’ he said after a moment’s silence, his soft accent stronger in his contemplation. ‘I wasn’t expecting to like it so much.’

I looked out across the waves. ‘There’s a lot here to like.’

I felt his eyes on me. ‘You know I’d take you away,’ he said carefully. ‘If you wanted to go. There are other schools as good as this elsewhere. We could go to the UK. Or to the United States, or Switzerland, or China. Singapore, Canada, Japan … Anywhere you wanted, I’d take you.’

I studied the waves. The tide was going out. I knew what he was saying; that if I wanted, I could pack up and leave. Go somewhere his scent match wasn’t living down the hallway.

That even though he liked it here, even though he had a chance for a biological perfect match, he’d give all that up – for me .

‘You know I don’t agree with my mother much,’ I said, brushing the drying sand from my calves, ‘but when I was in high school – when she couldn’t ignore the bullying any longer – she said something to me.

She said resilience was a strength that no insult or fist could match.

’ I turned to look at him; his expression was blank.

‘If you want to go, we’ll go. I’ll follow you back to England, or anywhere else in the world.

But I’d prefer to stick this out, Tris. I’m not a runner, and you’re not, either.

You just need a few days to adjust, and to remember that. ’

Tristan didn’t say anything; he just dropped his head to rest on my shoulder, and together we watched the waves roll out.

When we went back to class, Byron ignored Tristan completely.

If I hadn’t realised how strong – or stubborn, perhaps – the big alpha was before, I certainly knew it now. Ignoring a complementary scent was difficult enough. But ignoring his scent match ?

He must have been in the same circle of hell as Tristan, but he didn’t show it.

He carried on as if nothing had happened, as if his entire universe hadn’t realigned with Tristan at its centre.

He was protective of Rose and flirted with her just enough to leave her in no doubt of his interest, but not enough to be pushy.

He joked with Pravin, and struck up a friendship with Pravin’s new boyfriend, Chul.

When he looked at me, I could still see the hunger in his eyes, but his manner was cooler; he was careful not to touch me, or to sit too close.

It was odd, being near them both, and knowing I wasn’t just sitting between two alphas – I was sitting between a scent match .

Between two people who’d won the biological lottery, and one of them was my alpha.

The alpha I’d loved for six years, ever since he’d asked me out for coffee after class and I’d fallen straight into his clear green gaze.

I was simultaneously consumed with jealousy and with the need to make it better.

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted it – the togetherness; pack .

If I had it my way, Tristan, Byron, Rose, and I would be together, and nothing more would need to be said.

But Byron didn’t want Tristan, and two omegas in one pack was impossible – no matter how much I’d liked Rose’s scent, she surely couldn’t like mine – so I knew it wouldn’t happen.

But neither could the uncomfortable, silent tension between the alphas continue.

I wondered how long it would last, and who would be the one to break it.

‘Those hormone-addled dickheads,’ Rose fumed, when I told her what was going on; Byron had apparently kept it quiet. ‘They should get the fuck over themselves and be grateful that their perfect match lives down the fucking hallway.’

I snorted. ‘Savage. I love it.’ I paused. ‘I don’t know what to do.’

She searched my face. ‘Is it your job to do something, Seb?’

‘No, of course not. But it’s in my best interest. In our best interests,’ I amended. ‘I’ve never seen Tristan heartbroken, and I don’t like it.’

‘I’m not sure what you can do about it,’ Rose said tentatively. ‘It seems like they need to sort it out for themselves. But they’re not speaking, so –’

‘So we make them talk,’ I said, struck by sudden inspiration.

If the alphas wouldn’t break the silence, then we would.

‘ We make them? How?’

Rose hadn’t grown up in a pack, but I had.

I knew how hard it could be to manage multiple personalities, especially when they had egos like my parents did.

It wasn’t true that a pack’s emotional balance stemmed from their omega – while my omega mum was a lovely person, she wasn’t interested in mediating pack squabbles; that role fell to my dad – but I was willing to take up the task if I needed to.

I bit my lip. ‘You were talking about a movie night.’

Rose frowned; a lock of hair fell into her face. She tucked it behind her ear. ‘Yes, with Byron. We hadn’t organised a date yet. But –’

‘What if we had one for the four of us?’ I blurted.

‘Just all of us in one room, with popcorn and something to watch if it gets too intense, and we just let the alphas … sort it out? If they need to snarl at each other, they snarl at each other. If they need to fuck it out, they fuck it out. But we’ll be there to make sure they stay human – partially, at least – and hopefully by the end of the night, they’ll be past this bullshit. ’

‘Sebastian,’ Rose said, obviously working hard to keep her voice level, ‘do you really think that’s a good idea? You and me –’

‘I know,’ I said, reaching out to cup her jaw, stroking my thumb over her cheekbone. Her eyes fluttered. I didn’t seem to be able to stop touching her, and the library was almost empty, so I wasn’t about to hold back.

‘And them ,’ Rose went on, a faint look of horror dawning over her features. ‘I can barely contain myself with you , but if they’re with us, I –’

‘Would it be such a bad thing?’ I said gently.

She still thought I was a beta. I knew I liked her scent and wanted more of it. I wanted to scent her properly , not just a hint on the breeze, not when it was dampened by blockers and cancellers. Maybe – just maybe – if she scented me, she’d feel the same.

More likely, my scent would make her nose itch and she’d leave, but I was getting sick of wondering.

‘You’d be safe,’ I went on, when she didn’t answer, ‘and with people who’d rather cut their own hands off than hurt you.’ I slid my fingers down to cup her nape. ‘You’d be safe with me . We’d all be on blockers, so it wouldn’t be like the scent party. What have you got to lose?’

She gave me a wry look. ‘Besides my heart?’

My own beat faster. ‘Your heart is safe with me, Rose.’

‘I’m not sure I believe that.’ She looked away, her brow creased as she thought about it. ‘So much for a degree, not a pack .’ She was quiet for a long moment. ‘Okay,’ she said at last, just as I was beginning to sweat. ‘Okay. I can do it. But how do we get Byron there?’

I grinned. ‘That’s the easiest part of all. All you need to do is tell him it’s happening.’

She directed her frown at me. ‘That won’t work.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘Try it and report back.’ My mind was working overtime, planning what we’d eat, what we’d drink, which movie to choose, and what music I could put on when it became clear that we weren’t going to watch a movie at all.

I could make a let’s-watch-the-alphas-fuck playlist.

Or an eat-Rose-out-until-she-screams playlist.

Why not both?

My cock jerked as my mind conjured a picture of her spread out in my nest – naked, of course – her lips swollen from my kisses and her arms reaching for me.

I stifled a groan, because I wanted – I needed – that . I needed to hear what she sounded like when she unravelled, what her skin felt like beneath my fingertips, what her hair looked like wrapped around my fist.

That .

‘Seb?’

I shook myself, realising she’d been speaking. ‘Sorry?’

‘We got our re-marked essays back.’

‘Oh, fuck.’ I spun back to face my laptop, clicking into the learning system.

Ninety-eight . ‘Mine didn’t change.’

‘Mine did,’ Rose said happily, a flush spreading over her cheeks. ‘Oh, thank fuck . I can’t believe this happened. I’ve never had a re-mark before. I wonder why they decided to do it?’

I bit my tongue. I could have told her, but it was Tristan’s story, and it wasn’t his way to blow his own metaphorical trumpet. ‘No idea, beautiful, but I’m glad you’re happier.’

‘Forty marks happier,’ she muttered, and my heart wrenched for her.

She made a pleased little hum sound, her eyes on her essay’s new comments, and I went back to planning an orgy.

With my pack .

Tristan didn’t realise I was up to something until the snacks I’d ordered online began spilling from our cupboards. Which, to my mind, proved how much the situation with Byron was affecting my alpha.

‘Baby?’ he said, bewildered, when I’d received another delivery while he was out on his afternoon walk. ‘What’s this?’

‘We’re having a movie night,’ I informed him. ‘Tonight. And I’ve invited Rose and Byron.’

He froze; a thousand emotions flickered in his eyes. ‘Seb, I … Are you sure that’s a good idea? Rose could scent your designation, and Byron …’ He trailed off, looking away.

I went to him and tipped his chin towards me, then said something I’d never said before, something that took every ounce of courage I had. ‘It’s time for no more secrets, don’t you think?’

He studied me warily, biting at his lip. His eyes flickered across to the mountain of food. ‘Do you think they’ll come?’

By that, he meant did I think Byron would come. ‘Rose was pretty determined,’ I answered.

He deflated. ‘All right.’ His eyes slid back to me; he gave me an unreadable look. ‘What do you need me to do?’