Page 49 of Wake Me Up (New England Bay Sharks #5)

M y sneakers crunch against the grass that is so dry that it might as well be hay. Someone should really water this damn lawn because this has to be the driest summer I’ve ever seen in Maine since I’ve lived here.

Stuffing my hands into the pockets of my shorts, I stop in front of the large gravestone with a beautiful etched picture of a pond with some deer beside it. According to Freya, her husband was an avid hunter and loved fishing, so I’d say she picked out the perfect stone for him.

My chest puffs out as I inhale a huge breath before I twist around, making sure no one is nearby.

I’m not big on deep conversations—well, I wasn’t before Freya came into my life.

But this conversation is going to be man-to-man, and it doesn’t matter that one of us is buried in the ground; I’m still fucking nervous as hell.

“Bet you’re wondering why the hell I’m here,” I say, looking down at the stone. “I don’t blame you either. If the roles were reversed, I’d probably find some way to haunt your ass.”

The wind blows, making the trees surrounding the graveyard sway, and I pull my hands from my pockets and kneel down.

“I want you to know, as much as I love her and those kids—and I’m telling you, I love them so fucking much—I’d give it up if I could bring you back so that they had their dad and Freya never had to go through a loss like she did, losing you.” My throat grows hoarse.

“I’m sorry that I’m taking them out of Portland.

But I want you to know I don’t want to take your place, Jamie.

I never plan to do that. But I swear to you that I’ll take good care of the four of them.

” I put my hand on the top of the stone.

“I’ll fuck up sometimes, sure. This is all fairly new to me.

But I won’t hurt them—you have my word.”

I close my eyes for a second, and I just breathe.

I don’t know what I believe in. I certainly don’t know if he can, in some way, shape, or form, hear me right now either.

But I know if it were me in his place and the love of my life and the children I had to leave had a new guy step into their lives, I’d want to talk to him, man-to-man. Even if it’s impossible.

Opening my eyes, I give the stone a pat and push to my feet.

Freya and the kids stopped by earlier to say their goodbyes and put some flowers here for him, but I couldn’t pack up this man’s wife and kids without coming here myself.

I don’t say another word. I simply turn and walk toward the exit, where my truck is parked. But out of the corner of my eye, I see movement. And when I turn to look, I see a huge-ass buck with the biggest set of horns I’ve ever seen standing by the edge of the woods.

In Maine, it’s not uncommon to see a deer. In fact, once you get out of the city, they are everywhere. But this is the closest I’ve ever been to one before.

I take a step toward him and then another before I stop.

He stares at me, unmoving, and even though I know it’s the dumbest thing ever and would make me sound like a fucking nutjob if I admitted this out loud, somehow, in that moment, when his eyes stare into mine …

I get the feeling Jamie heard everything I just said.

After a minute or two, he turns away from me and walks into the woods like he’s heading back to his home. And after watching him disappear, I do the same thing.