Page 31 of Wake Me Up (New England Bay Sharks #5)

I stare at my in-laws, still in shock that they are here, in Maine, right now.

The kids were going to go visit them sometime in the next month or so, depending on Aviana’s recovery, but now …

they are in my living room. Which is great.

I love them, and so do my kids—except there’s a Sharks game in an hour, and Tripp gave me and the kids tickets to come watch.

I left it up to them, still not wanting to lead on to my kids how much I would like to see Tripp, and they all said yes.

It’s been four days since the sexting happened, and though we’ve talked on the phone and texted each other, we’ve both been too busy to meet up. So, here I am, makeup on, which I never wear, and my hair curled … looking like a pathetic loser.

While the boys are busy showing their grandfather some videos of them playing their current sports, Aviana is showing my mother-in-law, Helen, her ever-growing slime collection, so I take the opportunity to sneak to my bedroom to call Tripp.

He answers on the first ring, and his deep Southern voice instantly makes my heart race.

“Hi,” I practically whisper, afraid my in-laws may hear me.

“So … we were really excited to come watch you, but, um …” I pause because this is awkward.

I’m telling my current and secret husband that my dead husband’s parents showed up, and now I have to stand him up.

“My in-laws came into town and surprised us. They, uh, just got here a few minutes ago.”

“So, bring ’em,” he says instantly with zero hesitation. “I can get a few more tickets. I’ve got connections, you know.”

“Do you now?” The words come out more flirtatious than I planned, but I guess that’s what Tripp does to me.

“Yeah, I’m a pretty big deal. What can I say?” he teases. “I’m serious, darlin’. If they enjoy hockey, bring them with you. If not, then I’ll get y’all tickets another time.”

I know my in-laws, and they are usually up for anything, and as long as they are hanging out with their grandkids, they’re happy.

“Okay, I’ll talk to them and see.” I twirl a strand of hair around my finger while I continue to stand here and grin like a loser.

“Sounds good, beautiful,” he drawls. “Can’t wait to look up in the stands and see my wife’s pretty face.”

I swear I suck in a breath at his words, and I can’t even choke out a simple answer.

Luckily, I don’t have to because he casually says, “Talk to you later,” before ending the call.

I look down at the phone, chewing on my grinning lip. As I turn slowly to head back downstairs, Cane’s eyes are on me as he stands in the doorway. My heart lurches into my throat; I’m worried I got caught grinning like an asshole on the phone and I blew my cover.

“You look pretty happy,” he says tauntingly, his lips turned up on one side in a smirk. “Sounded like it during that call too.” He struts into the room, stopping just before me. “Who was on the phone, Mom?”

I freeze, feeling like I’m in high school and I just snuck home after going to a party I wasn’t supposed to go to. No matter what I say, I’m afraid I’ll give something away. I don’t want my kids to ever feel like I’m moving on from their dad or trying to replace him. I’d never do that.

“I just wanted to make sure Tripp had enough tickets for your grandparents to go with us—that’s all,” I say casually, shrugging. “And good news: he said he could get an extra two for them.”

He’s not buying a word I’m saying—I know my own kid enough to know.

“You can admit you like Tripp, Mom,” he says point-blank, still grinning. “We all know you do.” His eyes widen humorously. “And it’s pretty obvious he likes you too.”

“I don’t …” I pause, not wanting to lie to my son. “It’s complicated.” A long sigh comes from me because I should have had a speech prepared for this moment—the moment he figured out that I have feelings for a man who isn’t his dad. Instead, I don’t have any clue what to say.

I sit on the edge of the bed, and he takes a seat next to me .

“It doesn’t have to be, you know?” He shrugs. “Mom … Dad’s been gone a long time. I don’t think any of us kids expect you to stay single forever.”

Tears spring in my eyes, making me regret wearing this mascara crap.

“I just don’t ever want to put you guys in a situation where you feel uncomfortable,” I whisper, rubbing my hand against his back. “And I hope you know I’d never see anyone that you didn’t want me to. You three are my first priority.”

“We know, Mom,” he says softly. “But Cash and I have already talked about it. We both said we’d be fine with you dating a guy like Tripp.” He nudges his shoulder against mine. “He’s a good one.”

I sniffle, wiping under my eyes. “Are you sure you’re only twelve?”

“Thirteen in a few months,” he utters before standing up and holding his hand out to me. “Come on. We’ve got a game to get to.”

I nod slowly, taking his hand and letting him yank me up. “All right.” I stop him, pulling on his hand and holding my arms out. “Give your ol’ mama a hug. I love you.”

As I wrap my arms around my son, I realize that none of my kids are babies anymore. They understand things now and are able to think for themselves and tell me how they are feeling. I can’t use them as an excuse to not try to find love again.

Besides … part of me thinks I may have already found it. Then again, that would be crazy.

Wouldn’t it?

When I’m in front of the goal, I don’t think about anything else besides protecting it. It’s my home base, and no one can get by me, no matter the cost.

That was how things were before Freya came to my game anyway. Now, I’m still protecting my space, but I’m doing it while I think about how fucking crazy it is that I’m secretly married to a woman who is here with her in-laws. In-laws who don’t include my mom.

I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anything before.

I don’t care anymore if it’s foolish since we haven’t known each other for long.

I also don’t care that the time we have spent together has included her pushing me away for a good portion of it.

But little by little, I’ve watched her walls come down just enough for me to step inside.

I’ll be as patient as she needs me to be, but I don’t plan to give up.

Watson Gentry is the goalie for the opposing team, and that’s added pressure on me. He’s one of the best; he’s also a bit younger and fresher than I am.

We’re up by one goal with hardly any time on the clock. They could score right now, sending us into overtime, and I could lose it for us all in front of Freya and her kids.

Oh, and her in-laws.

A few of my opponents fly toward me, making a last-ditch effort to tie it up. With a solid block, the puck smacks off my stick—thank fuck. The entire team begins to celebrate because we got out of this game with a win.

Now that I know I’m safe from fucking this game up, my eyes shift up into the stands, and my mouth spreads into the biggest, most-out-of-character grin when I take in the sight of Cash and Cane jumping up and down, clapping and cheering for me.

My eyes shift down the row, and I see Aviana is doing the exact same thing.

This crazy warming sensation spreads across my chest, and I don’t know what the fuck is going on.

My eyes land on their mom, who is hands down the most beautiful woman in this arena, but I know her in-laws are beside her, and I don’t want to be disrespectful and openly gawk at her, so I give her a small smile and wave politely and as nonchalantly as I can before I turn my attention back to my teammates.

I chat with a few of my teammates before leaving the ice, and every now and then, I catch sight of Freya talking with her in-laws, and she looks so happy.

A strange pulling feeling tugs at my heart, and it’s just another thing I don’t fucking understand.

I’m happy that she gets to see her husband’s family, so why am I secretly jealous over it ?

Seeing her right now is just a reminder that she’ll never be mine. Not fully anyway.

I’ve watched a lot of romantic movies. I’ve read a lot of romance books too. Though I’ll admit right now that I have never read or watched a scene when the female main character was with her late husband’s parents while they were chatting with her secret husband, but didn’t realize it.

This is weird and uncomfortable, but not for anyone else besides me. Oh, and maybe Tripp. Though, if he’s nervous, he certainly isn’t giving it away.

“Well, it sounds like Mr. Talmage has sure taught you a lot, Cash,” Richard, my father-in-law, says before he roughly rubs Cane’s head. “And I hear this young man smoked your ass in the batting cages.”

“He sure did,” Tripp says, smirking. “I’ll get him next time,” he drawls before he flashes an amused grin at Cane. “I just need about … five years of batting practice first.”

“Probably like ten,” Cane tosses back playfully, flashing his teeth because his smile is so big.

Upon the boys’ request, we all waited for Tripp after the game.

Though neither Helen nor Richard seemed upset to learn that the kids had been spending time with Tripp, Helen sure seemed curious about it all.

I took the coward’s way out and kept playing it off like Cash was the luckiest boy alive for going to that camp where Tripp had noticed him.

In reality, Tripp has been playing life-changing roles in each of my kid’s lives.

I just don’t want to tell my in-laws that, out of fear that they might think he’s trying to replace their son.

I keep my arm around Aviana while she snuggles against my side. A yawn escapes her, and I rub her back.

“We’d better get you home, little lady.”

“I’m not that tired,” she utters, pouting slightly, but when she yawns again, she shrugs her shoulders. “Okay, fine. I’m tired. I’ll admit it. ”

Richard holds his hand out to Tripp. “Thank you for taking an interest in Cash,” he says before looking pridefully at my son. “He sure is something special.”

I know Richard is a typical guy and just sometimes doesn’t get shit—for lack of a better way to put it—but his words instantly make Cash uncomfortable, and he glances at his big brother to try to read his expression.

I know it all leads back to him feeling guilty for playing hockey when Cane can’t anymore because it’s too painful.

“They all are,” Tripp says, jerking his chin toward my kids.

“Cash is going to be in the NHL one day, if he doesn’t get distracted by girls in a few years.

” He winks. “Cane is going to be playing for the Red Sox, probably as their MVP.” His eyes land on Aviana, and I wonder what he’ll say about her since he hasn’t spent much time with her.

“And Aviana here? Well, she’ll rock this surgery and then be whatever the hell she wants because she’s one tough kid. ”

Aviana beams up at him, bobbing her head up and down in agreement. I wish I could be as strong and brave as she is. Instead, I just have to pretend to be for the sake of my kids. Inside, I’m a freaking baby.

Helen puts her arm around Cane, dragging him closer to her. “He’s right, you know. You three can be anything you want. Your daddy always said that because he knew it was true.”

The same sadness that’s never far creeps its way into my body, reminding me that I’ll never be all they need.

They’ll always miss him—and there are so many lessons I can’t teach that he could have.

But his mom is right; they can be anyone they want, and I’m so thankful they have so many people surrounding them who love them.

“Well, we’d better get going,” I say, keeping my arm around Aviana. “Everyone say thank you to Tripp.”

My kids, Helen, and Richard all thank him at the same time, and he holds his hand up in a relaxed wave.

Our eyes meet once more, and his twinkle slightly as the corner of his mouth subtly lifts.

Just nights ago, we were sending each other filthy messages.

Now, we’re forced to stand here and act like everything is normal and that we’re just friends.

I turn around, bringing Aviana along with me while we exit the stadium.

The entire time, I feel his stare right on my ass.