Page 42 of Wake Me Up (New England Bay Sharks #5)

“A ny big plans, baby?” My mom smiles at me on the screen.

I feel bad that I’m not home for Thanksgiving, but at least she has my sister’s house to go to. I think I feel worse that I won’t see my niece and nephew for the holiday, but it goes with the territory of living so far away.

“Nah, not really,” I say, even though it’s kind of a lie. “Going to a friend’s house here in a bit. That’s about it.”

“That’ll be good.”

She looks as pretty as she always does, but carries more and more lines around her eyes all the time. I try to get home every few months, but then life comes up, and before I know it, three months have passed, and I haven’t gone back.

“What time you fixin’ to go to Pea’s?”

“Probably in an hour or so. You know your sister with nap times—always trying to plan everything around that.” Her words would put off the vibe that she’s annoyed, but her smile tells the opposite. “She’s a dang good mama though. She just … really likes a schedule.”

“She learned from the best,” I tell her because it’s the truth. My mom was the best mom. Still is.

“Did you just give me a compliment, Tripp Talmage?” She grins. “And thanks, babe, but I certainly didn’t go quite as extreme with the schedule. And I think you both turned out just fine.”

“Depends who you’re asking, I suppose.” I look over at the timer on the stove. “I gotta run. My casserole needs to come out of the oven.”

“Casserole?” Her eyes practically bug out of her head. “Okay, who are you, and what have you done with my son?”

I chuckle, shrugging. “If you stay single for as long as I did, you realize you’d best learn to cook because microwaving meals gets old real fast. ”

“I guess that’s true—” She stops, her eyes widening. “Wait a second … did you say did ?”

“What?” I don’t know what she means, but I’m sure she’s analyzing whatever came out of my mouth—she always is.

“You said, ‘If you stay single for as long as I did ,’ not have.” Her lips spread wide across her face. “My boy, do you have a girlfriend?”

Oh fuck, here she goes.

I can’t tell her the whole truth because my mom will call my sister, who will call me, and it’ll turn into a huge ordeal. Freya and I might have told her kids, but I don’t want to tell my mom over the phone minutes before I need to hang up.

“I’m seeing someone,” I utter, dragging a hand over my face. “That’s all you’re getting for now.”

“Well, you’d best be still seeing this mystery woman when I come for Christmas,” she warns me. “Why didn’t you tell me you have a girlfriend, you little secretive shit?!”

“It’s new,” I answer with a shrug just as the oven timer goes off. “Gotta go. Happy Thanksgiving.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, you little turd. But this isn’t over!” She waves her finger at the camera. “Love you. Bye.”

Once the call ends, I rush to the oven and pull out the potato casserole. It’s a recipe from my dad’s mom. I didn’t want to show up empty-handed after Freya’s parents were nice enough to extend the invite my way.

I might not be spending this holiday with my blood family, but spending it with Freya and her kids somehow feels even better. And one day, I hope they feel the same way about me.

Frank isn’t nearly as much of a dick to me as he was the first time we met.

In fact, he actually seems to have warmed up to me now, but every now and then, he still flashes me a look to tell me he’s watching me.

That’s fine; he can watch away. I’m not going to do anything to fuck this up.

But Freya is the one who has been a little frostier than normal.

Which is catching me off guard because when we saw each other a few days ago and I buried my cock deep inside of her heat for the very first time, she seemed happy.

I thought we had turned a corner. Now I’m rethinking everything.

“Mom, can we go watch TV for a bit before dessert?” Cash asks his mom politely. “I can’t possibly eat pie yet. I’m dying here.”

“Yes, go ahead.” Freya smiles at her son.

Avy pats her stomach and sighs. “Same. I went too hard with the potato casserole.” She looks at me while she stands up. “That was so good, Tripp.”

“That was good!” Freya’s mom chimes in. “I never would have thought to use cornflakes cereal in a casserole.” She looks at her daughter, almost as if she’s urging her to pipe into the conversation because she’s been so quiet the whole meal.

“Freya, what did you think of Tripp’s casserole?

Did you love it? It seems like something you would like. ”

Freya looks at her mother, not me, and nods politely. “Yes, it was very good.”

Suddenly, her parents’ puppy whimpers by the door, and her mother glances over.

“Time to take out Trapper,” she sighs. “I forgot how much work a puppy is.”

Before she can stand up, Freya shoots up from her seat. “I got it, Mom. I’ll go stand outside while he does his business.”

I don’t know if she wants me to go with her or not, but I’m not going to sit here any longer and wonder what the fuck has happened between a few days ago and today to make her act different. So, the second she slides her shoes on and takes off outside with the dog, I stand up.

“I think I’ll … give her a hand,” I say awkwardly, heading toward the door and sliding my sneakers on.

“I bet you will,” Frank utters, and I glance over to find him narrowing his eyes at me from his chair.

Maybe he hasn’t taken a liking to me just yet after all.

Ignoring him, I pull the door open and walk out into the night. I’m not going to let her keep pushing me away. She’s going to talk, and I’m not taking no for an answer this time. I’ve been patient, but now … I’m ready to fight for my girl.

I’m standing outside in the shadows as Trapper runs around the yard, looking for the perfect spot. I needed to get out of that room for a minute because being around Tripp is too damn hard.

I love that man, and yet I know with everything I am that I have no right to string him along. Him being here tonight was a misstep in itself, and I can hardly stand to look at him.

I hear the door close and the sound of crunching feet against the inch or so of snow on the ground before Tripp comes around the corner.

I shouldn’t be surprised that he followed me outside.

It’s Tripp, and he always wants to fix things when he senses they’re broken.

But the issues we have can’t be fixed because I can’t take back what’s already been done.

“Running away again, darlin’?” he drawls into the cold night air. “You should know by now, I’ll just keep chasing you.”

I watch the dog rush toward the side entrance so I take the few steps to let him back inside before I turn toward Tripp. Even in the night sky, when I can barely see his face, he’s heartbreakingly handsome. Everything about this man is attractive, but I can’t keep him for myself.

“You should stop chasing me, Tripp.” I pause, needing to take a breath in order to finish my sentence. “We should cut ties now. This was all a mistake.”

“What are you even talking about?” Frustrated, he shakes his head. “What the hell is the issue now, Freya? I’d love to know what hoops you need me to jump through.” He looks angry. “And I’m pretty fucking good at jumping, just so you know.”

I don’t want to hurt someone as sweet as Tripp. He’s been through loss and grief, but it’s what I have to do. I need to break his heart. I have no choice here.

I have to work up the nerve to say the bullshit words that are going to come from my mouth. I need to tell him we aren’t meant to be even though I know deep down that we are .

“You and me? We’re not … forever material.” The words hurt to say, but he’s got to hear them.

But instead of looking sad, he simply stands there, unmoving.

“Go on,” he finally utters. “Get it out now. Say whatever it is you think you need to.”

There he goes, being annoyingly calm once again.

“Tripp … you know the other night, when you kissed the scars on my stomach, and I told you that Aviana’s delivery was scary and I knew I was done having kids?

” I stare up at him, ready to break his heart.

“The scars are from surgery for a tubal removal. So, not only do I not want any more children …” I stop, inhaling sharply.

“I physically can’t have any more either. ”

His blue eyes twinkle against the moonlight as I wait for him to say what he’s going to say. Maybe he’ll leave right now. Or perhaps he’ll do the noble thing in true Tripp fashion and try to tell me everything’s okay, even though it isn’t.

Finally, he shrugs his shoulders. “Okay,” he says, tucking a hand in his pocket.

“So, what does that have to do with you sabotaging Thanksgiving for yourself and me?” He jerks his thumb toward my parents’ house.

“There are about ten pies in there that I’d love to eat before I lick your pussy later on tonight.

So, tell me, what the hell are we doing out here? It’s fucking cold out.”

“Don’t you get it?” I cry, my lip quivering.

“I’m done having kids. You haven’t even begun.

” I inhale a shaky breath, brushing the tears off my cheeks.

“I can’t be your forever when I can’t give you things you need or want.

And I can’t keep you around until you decide you need to have a baby of your own and leave me because by then, my kids and I will be so fucking attached to you that it’ll kill us to lose you. ”

Tears stream down my cheeks, instantly cooling my skin because the night air is so cold. I sniffle, waiting for him to say something before, finally, I turn away from him.

“So, what? I don’t even get a say?” he calls out, stopping me in my tracks. “You just decide that I definitely want kids of my own, and now we can’t be together? That’s fucked up, darlin’. Even for you.”

I don’t turn to face him, but instead, I just stop in my tracks, feeling him get closer .

Just like I assumed he would, he walks in front of me and forces me to see him.