Page 27 of Wake Me Up (New England Bay Sharks #5)
S he hasn’t spoken a word to me the entire ride to her car. She has this lost, sad look on her face, which she’s had ever since she came out of the bathroom.
My clothes hang off of her, and the silence in the cab of this truck is fucking stifling. She doesn’t even look straight ahead—I’m pretty sure because she’s afraid she’ll catch sight of me. Instead, she stares out the window. Her hands are cupped together, and her body language is cold as ice.
Before I pull into the parking lot of the pier, I exhale. “I’m sorry,” I say quietly, not wanting to make everything worse. “I’m really, really sorry. I let my own desperation cloud my judgment, and I took advantage of your moment of weakness.”
She doesn’t move or say anything, not right away anyway. When I pull next to her car, I expect her to hop out of this truck as fast as she can. I’m prepared to lock the door or chase her. Anything to make her talk to me about what just happened, but instead, she sits there, unmoving.
“I’m not mad that we did … that,” she whispers. “I’m upset that I enjoyed it so much.” She looks straight ahead now, still not giving me a look. “And I’m mad at myself that it was that easy for you to get under my skin.”
Now, she is looking at me. Her eyes are filled with tears, sending a shooting pain right to my chest. “Five years, Tripp. That’s how long I’ve been alone.
And in those five years, sure, I’ve had some guys come on to me, but I’ve never so much as felt one single butterfly.
” She looks down at her hands. “One touch from you was all it took, and I was throwing myself at you like a crazed animal.”
“Why is that a bad thing, darlin’?” I murmur, wanting to reach out and touch her so bad that it’s painful. “If it feels good and it seems right … why fight it?”
That pisses her off, and her eyes fly to mine.
“You don’t get it! I don’t get to just …
have fun! I have kids. Ones who have already lost their dad.
An d not to mention, I was happily married before he died.
” She stops. “I don’t … I don’t have room for someone else in my life.
And I’m not the type of girl who just sleeps around.
I have to think of my kids before I do shit like that. ”
I shift the truck into park, leaning forward and resting my forearms on the steering wheel and dipping my head down. “So, what are you saying, Freya? You regret what we did?”
“Of course I do!” she practically hisses at me.
“You are an NHL player. You have a different girl in your fancy bed every other night, I’m sure!
And that’s fine. That’s your business.” She drags her hand across her forehead.
“But I can’t get mixed up with that. So, when it comes to this arrangement, it needs to be strictly platonic, and we can’t tell anyone.
I don’t want to confuse my kids with this mess I’ve made.
” With a shake of her head, she reaches for the door.
“I have to go. I need to run home and change before I pick my kids up from school.”
I grab her wrist, moving closer to her so that when she whips around toward me, we’re face-to-face.
“I’ve been with maybe … five or six people in the past few years.
I don’t sleep around. I don’t care to, Freya.
Never have anyway.” My eyes float back to her lips.
“But with you? You’re on my mind every fucking day.
I dream of fucking you. Or putting my face between your thighs. Or you sucking my dick.”
Her nostrils flare, and her eyes flash with anger. “Stop it!” she hisses.
“It’s the truth. So, while you think I’m out there, chasing women, I’m not. The only woman I want to chase is the one who is my wife and can’t fucking stand me.”
She’s backing away from me now, her back against the door of the truck, but her eyes are filled with that same hunger that they had at my house right before she rode my leg and made my cock explode by rubbing on it so hard.
“You only want me because I’m not available,” she whispers, anger laced in her tone when she leans a little closer to glare at me. “If I was one hundred percent available emotionally, you wouldn’t be chasing me. You would have already moved on.”
Gripping her chin softly, I narrow my own eyes.
“Wrong, darlin’. If you were available, I would be all in with you by now.
I would have fucked you in my bed back at my house too.
” I move closer to her, hovering over the console.
“Say the word that you’re mine, and I promise you, I’ll never stop chasing. ”
“You don’t understand,” she whispers. “I have nothing to offer you. My heart hasn’t been whole since my husband died, and it never will be either.”
“And you don’t understand that I’d take a fucking fraction of your broken heart over a whole one of anyone else’s.”
More tears pool in her brown eyes before streaming down her cheeks. Her lips part, and she drags in a shaky breath before she squeezes her eyes shut. After a few seconds, she opens them back up and pulls away from my touch.
Without saying a word, she pushes her door open. “I appreciate what you did for me today, but I have to go now.” Her lip quivers. “And please … don’t follow me.”
It hurts my chest when she climbs out and slams the truck door shut, but I don’t chase her because she can’t go too far. Because the thing is … we’re married now. So, I will be seeing her real soon.