Page 22 of Wake Me Up (New England Bay Sharks #5)

P arked on Portland’s downtown pier, I sit in my car, staring out at the boats.

So many times, I’ve sat in this spot and gazed at the ocean, pondering life.

Normally, I’m all alone—or maybe I’d have a sleeping baby in the back seat that I drove around for hours, trying to get them to fall asleep.

But this time is different. Any minute now, I’ll be joined by Tripp.

Because when I texted him late last night when I couldn’t sleep and asked to meet, he instantly answered and agreed.

I think I may be the one losing my mind because I’m actually considering marrying Tripp for his health insurance.

I was up all night, thinking about it, and even though I could just borrow the money from my parents or from Tripp, this seems to make more sense because, this way, it’s the insurance that’ll pay for it.

His large, dark truck pulls in beside me, and he rolls his window down, prompting me to do the same. His hair is still wet, and the morning sun hits his blue eyes, lighting them up while he looks me over.

“Get in if you want,” he drawls. “I got one of those weird chai things waiting for ya.”

There he goes again. Doing things that are too nice. Things that make my heart skip a beat and my chest warm.

I nervously run my fingers over my wedding ring, but eventually, I look into Tripp’s eyes.

The words my mom said the other night come into my mind, and I think of how nice this man has been to my kids.

He might not be my Prince Charming, but he’s been very good to my children.

And if he can do this one favor for me, I’ll be forever grateful.

“Okay,” I say softly and roll my window back up.

Opening my car door, I slam it shut with my hip and walk slowly to the passenger side of his truck. After pulling the door open, I climb up inside, and once the door is closed and we’re in there alone, I inhale … attempting to calm my heart .

“Thanks for meeting me,” I say through the nerves ripping through my entire body. “I … really appreciate it.”

“Of course.” His accent is smooth and deep.

His truck smells so good, and I know it’s coming from him. He smells nothing like Jamie did, which I’m actually thankful for. I don’t need any more reminders that I’m doing something wrong here, and being here with a man who smelled like my dead husband would certainly make me feel even worse.

I can’t believe I’m about to say what I am. Maybe it’s the fatigue or the fear that my daughter won’t get the treatment she needs. Whatever it is … I never thought I’d be in the position I’m about to be in.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day.” I cringe. I’ve always been so levelheaded, but right now, I feel like an absolute nutjob. “As bad of an idea as it probably is, I do want to at least explore it as an option.”

He rests his hand on his chin, eyeing me over like he doesn’t trust what’s coming out of my mouth. His eyes narrow the slightest bit, and he tilts his head to the side.

“Marrying me, you mean?” he finally says. “That’s what we’re talking about here? Just to be sure we’re on the same page.”

Fire. My cheeks are on fire. I swallow back my humiliation, not believing I’m actually asking him to do such a thing. Not only because it goes against everything I believe in, but I’d also be putting Tripp—who has been nothing but kind to me and my kids—at risk of getting in serious trouble.

“Yeah, but I want to know … why? Why are you so eager to do this?”

Something I said struck a nerve, and he tenses like my words hurt him. It takes him a moment to collect himself, but he does.

“For a lot of my life, my mom raised me and my sister by herself. It was hard on her.”

There’s so much I want to ask him, but as if he senses I’m going to, he talks before I get the chance. “Anyway, what do you say? Want to get hitched?”

I choose not to push for more information about his upbringing or ask why his dad wasn’t in the picture. Instead, I toss out an important question. “I would need to make sure your health insurance would even kick in for the surgery first—”

“It will if we get married tomorrow,” he cuts me off. “It takes two weeks to go into effect.” He pauses. “Her surgery is sixteen days from today, right?”

“Tomorrow?” I gasp. “We’d have to get married … tomorrow? As in …”

“Tomorrow,” he deadpans. “And, yeah, we would if we want to leave ourselves one day of wiggle room to make sure the insurance is all set for her surgery.”

He doesn’t even seem worked up right now, which only throws me off more. Why wouldn’t he be concerned about this? I mean … this is a big, huge freaking deal.

“That’s … really soon.” I feel like I need a paper bag to breathe in and out of right now. This is insanity.

“I’m free all day tomorrow.” He shrugs, completely unaffected. “We can go to the courthouse and call it a job.”

My head spins even though it shouldn’t. I came here to discuss the option, but I thought I’d have …

gee, I don’t know … a week to at least mull over the idea that I might be committing insurance fraud.

Suddenly, an image of me in an orange jumpsuit, gripping the bars in a jail cell, flashes in my head.

I have never looked good in orange.

“Freya?” Tripp’s deep voice pulls me out of the horrible thought. “What’s going on in there?” He points to my head, and his eyes soften.

I think back to him hugging me the other day, and my heart rate quickens.

“My kids,” I squeak. “I can’t just … marry you.

My kids will be so confused.” I can’t even believe myself as I say the words out loud.

What was I even thinking, entertaining this?

“They’ve already lost their father. I don’t want to do anything to screw them up.

” My lip trembles. “That’s, like … my number one goal. ”

He turns his body more toward me. Reaching for my arm, he rests his hand on it. It’s meant to be comforting, not romantic, and yet every skin cell of mine feels his touch.

“They don’t have to know, Freya. We can just keep it between us—”

“And what? Make the insurance fraud bounty hunters know for sure that it’s fake?” I blurt out. “I’ve watched enough rom-coms to know we have to have a freaking plan in place. ”

“Rom-coms, huh?” His lip twitches in amusement—as if any of this is funny.

“The beauty in you having three kids who lost their father—and trust me, I know there isn’t anything good about it, but one thing is …

no one will question why you didn’t want to dump on them that you’re married.

” He speaks so calmly, like we aren’t talking about debatably the most insane thing in the world.

“If anyone questions us, we will just say that we’re married, but we chose to live separately and not tell the kids until further down the road.

We’ll say we didn’t want to make their lives any more confusing yet. ”

Everything he’s saying oddly makes sense. I don’t know if it would be enough to throw the insurance people off our case, but I suppose it could work.

On instinct, I look down at my hand. The ring my husband gave me doesn’t glimmer like it used to because it’s been on my finger every single minute of every day for so long. It might not shine as bright as the day he gave it to me, but it’s still beautiful.

It still means something.

“Freya …” Tripp almost croaks my name. “I’m not trying to take Jamie’s place.

You’re still his wife. You always will be.

” He talks evenly, but there’s a sadness in his tone.

“This is basically … a business arrangement. Something to help you and your daughter out.” He tips his head forward to bring our eyes together.

“But I will say, I’ll be honored to be your husband.

And even though it’s just pretend, I swear to do right by you and your kids. Even if they don’t know it.”

His words almost take my breath away, and I inhale sharply.

He’s saying all the right things, but in the back of my mind, I keep thinking about one thing. Will Jamie forgive me? I hope he knows that I’d give anything to bring him back.

“We don’t have rings …” I whisper, knowing that I’ll have to take mine off during the ceremony. There’s no way I’d wear Jamie’s while I say vows to Tripp. Even thinking about putting another ring on makes me feel ill.

“Then let’s go get them now so that we have them tomorrow. Or if it would make it easier for you, I can go get them. But I do have to tell you, I’ve never bought a piece of jewelry in my life, so don’t judge what we end up with. ”

His eyes hold a certain softness, and even though he doesn’t deliberately say comforting words, I feel a sense of peace wash over me just from his gaze and the gentleness of his tone.

“But if you want to go with me—and I really would love you to—the owner of the jewelry store in town is a big fan of the Sharks. He’ll let us come in before the shop opens. That way, it can stay our secret.”

It’s almost as if he’s reading my mind, and I appreciate the tenderness he’s showing me because right now, I’m a wreck. My stomach hurts, and my heart is aching.

I don’t want to be married to anyone else. I just want to be Mrs. Hale, wife of Jamie Hale. Soon, I’ll be Mrs. Talmage, but only Tripp and I would know it.

Well, us and the insurance company, I suppose.

I need to respond. I’m sitting here, looking like a moron. I asked him to meet me and took him up on his offer to get married, and now I’m stalling.

“Okay.” I swallow nervously. “Let’s go.” Before I change my mind.

The corner of his lip turns up the tiniest bit, but there’s an unmistakable hint of sadness in his expression too.

He doesn’t speak or say anything else. Instead, he reaches his hand for the shifter, puts the truck in reverse, and backs out of his parking spot.

And as we make our way closer to the jewelry store, it hits me that for the first time since I was twenty-one years old …

I’m not going to be married to the father of my kids.

Instead, I’ll secretly be married to a practical stranger.

“Do you like it?” Robert, the jeweler, asks as I stare at my finger. “Simple … but beautiful.”

When we first got here, ol’ Robert definitely had dollar signs bulging from his eyes because he thought the big-shot NHL goalie was here to buy an insanely large rock for his soon-to-be wife. Little did he know, I didn’t want a ginormous rock.

I don’t want a ring at all. I just want to wear my own ring. From my real husband.

“Freya …” It’s Tripp talking now, whispering gently. “You all good? ”

My eyes finally leave the band with the single stone in the center, and I jerk my head up and down to let him know I’m good, even if it’s a lie.

“Yeah,” I breathe out, looking down at the ring one last time. “This is great. Can we go?” I push myself up from the chair, feeling my heart starting to race, prompting me to press my palm to my chest because I think it may beat out of my body.

“Yeah, yeah,” he instantly says with absolutely zero bit of annoyance or judgment in his tone before he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his keys. “Why don’t I take care of the rings and you can go wait in the truck?”

It’s probably rude of me, but I don’t even have the energy to answer, so instead, I give him a brief nod and take the keys from his hand before striding toward the door. I’m almost touching the handle when I hear Robert ask Tripp if I’m okay.

“Yeah, she hasn’t been feeling good today—that’s all,” he tosses back quickly, selling it like it’s the truth.

I suppose it is because this entire day is making me feel ill. Not just because I’m betraying my husband, but because this could get Tripp in so much trouble. He could go to jail, and I don’t even want to imagine that.

Walking along the sidewalk, I begin to feel numb. Because as a single mom, my back’s against the wall, and a man like Tripp is here to save me.

I’ve always been too proud to ask for help, and yet … look what I just did. Allowed him to give me the biggest favor of my entire life.