Page 24 of Viper (The Dark Angel’s MC #4)

Lake

I wipe my tears as I look up at the stars, memories that I cherish, that have helped me get through therapy flittering through my mind.

“I could stay here all night,” Jaylen murmurs against my lips, and I grin.

“We’ll freeze,” I reply, happiness filling me as I run my fingers through his hair.

Who knew asking a guy out who you nearly knocked over could turn into full-blown love almost a year later…

“I think I have my ways of keeping you warm,” he rasps as he pushes into me, his cock taking me in one. I moan and bite his bottom lip, as my walls fluttering around him keep him inside me.

I sniffle. I have so many regrets, and not fighting for him is one of them, but when he asked what about him in the car, I just, all I could picture was The Dive. All I could hear was that guy's grunts, the guy who apparently slipped me the date rape drug after my fifth shot.

Not enough to knock me out, but enough to cloud my judgement even more than the booze itself, but I still allowed another man to touch me. I never said 'stop' or 'no'. I encouraged him when I was in a memory of Jaylen and I, and I’ll never forgive myself for that.

I hear the back door opening, and I quickly wipe away my tears, not wanting to worry my dad.

I’ve only been home for half an hour, yet I’m already falling apart.

Even though I don’t have the urge to cut like I did in the first two weeks at the center, I have the urge to beg Jaylen to come back and get me.

He deserves better than me, more, and so does our daughter.

“A week longer, huh?” Dad says as he gently drops a blanket around my shoulders, then takes a seat next to me, and I grip the soft wool.

“I needed it,” I admit, and he hums, and I look back at the stars. “I was scared I was going to relapse and I hadn’t come to terms with what I had done,” I murmur.

“I’m proud of you, pumpkin,” he whispers, and I snort, but he ignores it and continues, “Even though you were scared and didn’t want to do it, you went to the center, you spoke about your feelings.

Depression isn’t something to be ashamed of, Lake, and I know you are ashamed, but you shouldn’t be.

You’ve been through a lot, and I know the crap the townsfolk have said over the years, the crap Cherri spewed, got to you.

I know you struggled without Viper, but you’re overcoming it, and that is why I am proud. ”

“But…” I prompt, knowing there is one.

He sighs, “But you pushing him away, it’s not fair on him, Lake. Is he innocent of the shit that has gone down? No, he isn’t, but he knows that, he knows he allowed his fear to cloud his judgement, and he wants to fight for you, pumpkin, but he’s scared you’ll relapse if he does.”

My bottom lip wobbles, and I remind Dad, “I slept with someone else.”

“You did, and he’s still wanting to fight for you…” He replies.

I sniffle, not looking away from the stars, and I admit, “I’ve told him he can have full custody, he doesn’t need to fight for me, Dad.”

“Fuck’s sake, Lake, he doesn’t want you just because of the baby.

Why do you think he always picked a fight with you over the past six months?

” Dad snaps, and I look at him as he admits, “He was angry because he knew he still loved you more than anything. He was angry because he knew you both blew this entire thing out of proportion, and he didn’t know how to stop himself.

The baby is not the reason why he wants you back.

He knows you both fucked up, he knows you both made mistakes but he’s willing to fight for what you have.

The question is, are you going to fight as well or are you going to walk away and leave town like I know you are most likely planning not wanting to watch your daughter grow up without you. ”

I look away, my tears falling, as I hear some hard truths, and Dad whispers, “That man is your everything, Lake, if he wasn’t, you wouldn’t have gotten his name tatted on your hip a month after you broke up.”

“Damn Callum,” I mutter, and Dad snorts, not denying that is where he got his information.

Okay so maybe taking him four towns over with me to get the tattoo done was not my brightest idea but I needed his support.

“He said that’s payback for not telling him about the baby,” he states, and I shake my head with a small smile as I wipe my tears.

“Raya had a run-in with the Hyena group.” Dad changes tactics suddenly, and I wince.

She had one before Fury proposed to Skylar, and he managed to scare the guy away and other than my dad, he is the only other person outside our little group that knows about Raya’s situation.

“I haven’t been a good friend, have I?” I confirm, and Dad replies, “You’ve kind of had a lot going on.”

Still no excuse…

“Is she okay?” I ask.

Dad hums and admits, “She’s alright, I was driving past when one of them tried to corner her and demand when she was leaving town, and I held my crowbar at him.

He eyed the club's truck before making a run for it, realizing I was affiliated with the club. They don’t like to leave loose ends sweetheart and Raya is one of them. ”

No, they don’t, and the only reason why they haven’t killed Raya is because they thought she left town after her mama remarried.

After the fire, it took them a while to figure out who the firefighter was who died.

Thankfully for Raya’s mama, she was already remarried when they completed their research and to a man affiliated to the club no less so they wouldn’t touch them.

Raya, on the other hand, they don’t trust her and now they know she’s been in town all this time, they’re watching her every move.

They’re also spineless weasels who need exterminating.

“She needs to tell Venom, pumpkin,” Dad says, and I nod, knowing he’s right.

It was the same thing he told me after I confided in him about her past, worried for her.

“She will when she’s ready, I’ve already put the seed in his head,” I admit.

A seed, I know she’ll kill me for.

“I love him, Daddy,” I finally admit, his tactic working as always, and his body relaxes next to me.

“I love him so much that the guilt I feel for allowing that man to touch me is sending me into spirals,” I sniffle, “We have said so much hurtful stuff to each other over the past six months that it is so hard to see us pulling through it.”

“Do you miss him?” Dad asks, and I nod.

I admit, “With every single bone in my body. I couldn’t even sleep at the center until he brought me one of his shirts, and even when I extended, and Dr. Gren decided it was best I didn’t see him for my last two weeks, he still came and handed in another one of his shirts because he knew it was what I needed. ”

I look down at my bump and I whisper, “He knows me inside and out, can read me like a book. I think that is why it hurt so much when he accused me of using him, of knowing he was a brother when I didn’t.”

“If it helps, he accused me of trying to set it all up,” Dad mutters with distain, and I snort as he growls, “I watched that boy run around in fucking diapers for fucks sake, used to have him in the shop with me a lot,” he sighs, “but I understood. The brotherhood, while amazing most times, some brothers are suspicious. As soon as it came out that Cherri got pregnant on purpose, they automatically assumed you’d be the same.

That wasn’t fair to you and it pissed me off that they believed I would allow you to turn out like her. ”

“How did it even become apparent that she did it on purpose?” I ask with confusion, “I mean, did they think, ‘Oh yeah, she did that on purpose? ’”

Dad snorts, “She gloated, holding a pregnancy stick claiming to have given me a condom with holes in, and the brothers, while angry as fuck for what she did to me, laughed because she thought I was a prospect, a brother in waiting.”

“You were close with Brick,” I confirm, and Dad grins as he looks at me and says, “She thought I was in line to become an officer.”

I chuckle, shaking my head, and he admits, “Though she was right, I was in line,” and my eyes widen.

He shrugs, “I didn’t like how the brothers cheated on their women, how women tried to trap them for the cut, it was just stress I couldn’t be bothered with.

I don’t regret my decision even if they do still try to convince me to join. ”

Damn…

I look back at the stars, shocked that my dad was nearly a brother.

Would Jaylen and I still have gotten together if we had grown up together?

Something deep inside of me is saying yes.

“You’re staying at the club garage, though, right?

” I confirm and he hums, agreeing before stating, “Working at the garage is completely different to calling the men in that club my brothers when they’ve all talked shit about you over the years.

So much shit, Viper fucking panicked when he realized who birthed you and they have a lot to make up for. ”

“I thought I was like her,” I admit, “It’s why I had cut that night, not the words she said, but the feeling I was exactly like her, and that frightened me the most. Nothing else would quiet the voices telling me I was her.”

“You are nothing like that woman!” Dad snaps, and I half smile as I look at him.

“I know that now, the therapist helped me a lot.

I got everything off my chest, and I finally understood she was jealous because I had a brother's attention on me while they only give her theirs when she opens her legs. The only reason why she wanted Viper was because he was the last officer brother standing,” I admit.

Dad sighs and asks, “Then why are you wanting to give Viper full custody and not give him another chance and be the family you always wanted?”

“Because I still can’t get over the feeling that I betrayed him, that I put our daughter in danger,” I whisper and I sob, “I don’t want to do it, I don’t want her to grow up hating me because I wasn’t there like Cherri wasn’t for me and I certainly don’t want to watch Jaylen move on.”

“Then don’t, pumpkin, fight for your family like you have fought for me and your friends your whole life,” Dad whispers.

“But what if I screw her up? What if I hurt Jaylen again?” I ask with a cry, and Dad wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him as he whispers, “You won’t because you have me to pull you back, you have Viper to hold you up.

You’re letting your depression make decisions, and you need to try to separate it from your future with your family.

You won't always feel this way, Lake. The depression will fade, but I can promise you, your guilt will never go away if you don’t fight for your family. ”

I drop my head on his shoulder and I sob, my body shaking as I allow my pain and fear to pour out of me, not knowing what to do, what to think.

So much pain is between us, so much toxicity. How can we overcome all of it without burning?