Page 15 of Viper (The Dark Angel’s MC #4)

Lake

“It was all a lie, I could never love a whore, especially one who thinks it’s okay to spend all of Daddy’s money on a degree you're now dropping all because you’re not smart enough to follow through with it.”

I wince, his words drowning me, and I take another shot of sambuca, swallowing it in one but flinching at the burning sensation in the back of my throat.

I’m not much of a drinker, and I’m definitely feeling it.

After Tate kissed my cheek, Viper took her from my arms and, without a backward glance, walked away, leaving me reeling with sorrow, pain, and pure loneliness.

Ever since, which I think was two hours ago, I’ve been at a dive bar the club rarely comes into and drank myself into oblivion that I think is actually called The Dive but I can’t be too sure.

My vision is blurry, my body swaying, and I try to focus on it instead of my life, which has sunk to the bottom of the ocean, down the toilet.

Wait, that doesn’t make sense, let me try again.

My life has swirled into the ocean down the bottom of the toilet. Yeah, that is so much better.

I giggle a little at my thoughts.

“Another,” I mumble as I slap the bar, gaining the bartender’s attention, who, if I didn’t know any better, all four of her eyes roll.

Wait four eyes?

She places a shot on the counter and I pick it up, downing it in one again before I hear, “Hey beautiful,” and I turn slightly to my right to see a blurred guy sitting next to me.

“Hi,” I slur, and he smirks, or at least I think he’s smirking, either that or he has really weird lips. “W-What can-can I do for you?” I slur, swaying a little on the stool.

“Well, I think I have an idea,” he mumbles, tilting his head before he slowly runs a finger up my leg, over my jeans, or at least I think he does anyhow.

I can’t be too sure because my whole body feels numb, the alcohol doing what I need it to do.

“Come with me…” He says as he grabs my hand when I sway into him, nearly toppling over on the floor and I go willingly, giggling as I stumble behind him before we enter the hallway and suddenly, he spins me causing the whole world to spin making me dizzy and he pushes my face up against her wall before his hands grip my hips and he whispers, “I want you beautiful, can I have you?”

He gently plays with the edge of my jeans before slowly bringing his hands around me and unbuttoning them without waiting for my answer.

My mind can’t comprehend what is happening, the floor spinning beneath me, even as he pulls my hips back and pulls my jeans down around my ankles along with my underwear, I can’t seem to grasp how stupid I’m being.

Well, I mean, is it really stupid?

Everyone thinks I’m a whore, or Viper does anyhow, and he screwed another girl….

I hear rustling in my drunken state before I feel the tip of his member at my dry entrance, and he mutters, “I fucked Cherri a few times and always wondered after seeing you out and about if you’d feel better than her. Let’s test it, shall we whore…”

I blink, his words don't hit home, and he whispers, “You ready?” causing a memory to come back to me.

“You ready, shorty?” Jaylen whispers in my ear as he gently brings my hips back while pressing on my back, to arch it for him, the water from the shower head covering us.

I moan, “Yes, take me, please…” and he groans and presses his member at my entrance.

We’ve never done it this way before…

“Fuck yes, you’re tighter than her,” the guy groans as he thrusts inside me, making me flinch with pain, and bile rises from the drinks.

“Ow,” I slur, but not pulling away, knowing I need to do this, to be the woman everyone is accusing me of being, the woman the man I gave my virginity, my body, my soul, my heart to is accusing me of.

I gasp as he takes me in one while he gently strums my clit, his arm around me keeping me up so I don’t slip on the shower floor.

He begins to gently thrust while his lips go to my neck, sucking lightly, making my walls flutter around his member, our wet bodies moving as one as I thrust back against him.

“Fuck yes,” the guy moans as he grips my hips, bringing me out of the memory, and his hips thrust faster and harder, causing pain to shoot between my legs, and suddenly, my situation is hitting me in the face like a bunch of bricks.

I’m not wet and he’s not Viper, the only guy I have ever slept with.

The alcohol that I drank is slowly disappearing, the buzz I had when I thought this would be a good idea, even though I don’t feel attracted to the guy, diminishing and regret begins to hit as the guy roars, “Fuck baby,” as his member pulses inside me, his seed filling the condom quite quickly.

Oh crap, what the hell am I doing?

I swallow several times to keep the bile in as I face the wall, my hands keeping me up, suddenly feeling sober, and he pulls out, chuckling while my heart pounds, regret filling me.

Why did I do this?

“Don’t worry, baby, I used two condoms, so no trapping me. I want to be a brother, and there is no way you’re getting my cut,” he says as he taps my ass twice and says, “Thanks, baby,” and his footsteps echo in the hallway.

What did I do?

I squeeze my eyes tight, my head spinning from all the drinks, my eyes tearing and I quickly grab my jeans and panties, pulling them up while trying to keep my balance as the room spins.

I quickly do my jeans up, then rush to the ladies' room, shoving past some woman who gasps, “Hey, watch it,” but I ignore her before throwing up in the sink, my stomach tightening with each heave.

I feel dirty, tainted.

Why did I do that, why?

I heave some more, all the booze I just drank coming back up as my body shakes before I slowly stand and look in the mirror.

My eyes are bloodshot, bags lining underneath them, my whole body trembles, and the drunkenness I felt is completely gone. Instead, regret is hitting me hard, the need to sob pulling me.

I need to get to the pharmacy. I know he was wearing a condom, but I can’t be too careful, I need to get the morning after pill, I need to, to…

Oh god.

A sob retches from my throat, tearing out of me full of pain and disgust, the urge to call Viper hitting me hard, to beg for forgiveness, to beg not to leave me.

But he had already left me, accusing me of things I didn’t do.

He doesn’t even love me, it was all a lie, a man I gave my body to.

I hear chatter outside the ladies' room, and I take deep breaths before gingerly, stumbling over to the door before someone comes in and sees the mess I’ve just made trying to control the trembling.

Pharmacy, I need the pharmacy.

***

“Hi, I uh, I need the morning after pill,” I whisper an hour later, looking at the older woman with gray hair, who frowns.

I couldn’t go to my local pharmacy, not without risking rumors to spread, everyone knowing who my dad is.

I couldn’t drive two towns over to the only one that would still be open in my state, so I had to wait for my Uber outside of the dive bar, my mind spinning with what I had just done, my body feeling dirty.

I want to scrub my body, preferably with bleach, but I can’t, I need to get this pill first, then I can climb back into my Uber and do what I need to…

“Okay,” the woman says cautiously, and I tense when she admits, “I uh, I’m anti-abortion, so if you could just tell me when your last period was, please.”

Wait what?

I blink, then blink again, trying to understand what she just asked.

Surely she doesn’t have the right to hold what I need from me?

“I, I’m not sure, but I’m not pregnant so just give me the pill please,” I stutter with a slight slur and the woman winces then denies, “I’m sorry but I can’t, you’ve clearly been drinking which, if you are pregnant is not wise.

If you come back tomorrow morning sober and with a negative test,” she bends and grabs something before placing a long box on the counter, “then I’ll give you what you need. ”

She pushes the box towards me and I look at it for a moment seeing it is a pregnancy test, trying to figure out when I did have my last period before I slowly pick it up.

Without looking at the woman I walk out of the shop knowing there is no point in arguing with her when I am still slightly drunk and I climb back into my uber, not able to put two and two together.

Three hours later, I’m completely sober, staring at the test on my coffee table, the plus sign clear as day.

I finally remembered that my last period was a week before Viper made love to me at the meadows. He used a condom, but I know they don’t always work.

I’m pregnant, at least three months along.

My bottom lip wobbles.

I just drank over half a bottle of sambuca, I just allowed some man, a stranger, to use my body from behind in a drunken revenge.

I just tried to take the morning-after pill.

My body trembles and sobs rip from my throat, pain tearing through me, and I stand at the same time as I grip my table, then flip it, causing the glass I had on it to fly across the room, shattering, but I ignore it as I scream and fall to my hands and knees, sobbing.

He’ll accuse me of trapping, of being like Cherri, I know he will. He already said he didn’t love me, that he never did, he called me a whore, so why would he believe that I never planned this, that the universe had a different plan?

I drag my hand across the carpet to wipe my face, but flinch at a sharp pain and quickly lift my hand to see a cut on my palm, a little bit of glass sticking out of it with blood, and I furrow my brows as I fall to my butt, looking at it, mesmerized.

I pull the glass out of my hand and flinch at the little pain, one of those annoying ones that you can get before I look to the floor and see a large bit of glass.

I wonder…

I pick it up without thinking before I look at my wrist and then at the glass again, all my thoughts disappearing other than the glass in my hand and as if on autopilot.

I place the glass on my wrist diagonally, not wanting to kill myself, just numb the pain and slowly, I dig the glass into my skin then drag it across, blood instantly spilling.

I eye it, again, mesmerized as I watch it drop down my arm when I lift my hand up for a better look.

I know this isn’t okay, I know I’m going down a dark path with this. A big part of me, the part that is succumbing to depression, doesn’t care as I make another cut.

Viper's hazel eyes come to mind, and my tears fall hard and fast, knowing he’s going to hate me even more. He will accuse me of trapping him. I make another cut, allowing the pain to numb my emotions, and I slowly close my eyes, knowing I’m not going to tell him or anyone.

It may be the biggest mistake I make, but until the baby is born, it’s probably the best thing for us all that no one finds out. I’ll see then if I can find the right family to raise it, someone who isn’t traumatized by her birth mother, someone who isn’t part of the club and in this town.

My baby will live a life full of love and without pain, without me.