Page 19 of Viper (The Dark Angel’s MC #4)

Viper

I lean forward and place my elbows on my knees as I watch Lake sleep, the beeping in the room soothing me, telling me her heart is still going, that she’s still with me, still alive despite not waking up since bringing her to the hospital.

Twenty-three, that is how many cuts are on her wrists, only the two new ones are cut deeper than the others, like she was trying…

I swallow and look down, squeezing my eyes tight, the whispers from Blade and Randy just hitting my ears as they stand near the door, watching us.

“How long do you think she’s been doing this?” Blade whispers.

Randy replies with a choke, “I don’t know, I-I fuck, I didn’t even notice…”

My eyes tear up because I know. She didn’t have the scars before that day in the diner, before I accused her of using me.

“Wake up, shorty, please don’t leave me,” I beg as I lay her on her couch, pressing tissue on her wrists while putting my phone to my ear.

“911, what’s your emergency?” the operator answers, and I squeeze my eyes tight.

“I need an ambulance, I’ve just found my wife unconscious in the shower, her wrists bleeding.”

I squeeze my eyes tighter, my pleads for her to wake useless.

After I called 911 while trying to put pressure on her wrists, I waited anxiously for the ambulance while the operator stayed on the phone.

Every second my heart pounded. Her pulse was weak, her body still and I honestly thought I was going to lose her.

When we got to the hospital and I knew the doctors had her, I called Randy.

“Viper, did you catch up with her?” he asks, and I swallow hard, my throat dry.

“I need you to come to the hospital,” I choke full of agony as I watch the doctors check Lake over, who hasn’t woken yet, their main concern is the bleeding.

“Wait, what?” he replies with fear, “Why the hospital?”

“Hospital?” I hear Blade in the background.

I reply, “Just come, Randy,” my pain etching in my voice before I hang up and look as a doctor with black hair walks over with concern, the doctor I lied to when I rushed in after her, the nurses refusing me entrance if I hadn’t.

“Are you aware your wife is pregnant?” he asks, and I freeze in shock, my eyes going to Lake as the doctors work on her.

Pregnant?

My eyes go to her stomach, and fear clutches through me.

I don’t know how far along she is, the doctors were still doing their checks, their main concern her, so I don’t know if it’s mine or Joey's...

I sniff hard, my tears wanting to fall.

I blame myself, I can’t help it, I never should have left for two months, never should have pushed her away, allowing my fucked up mama’s past to get in my head.

My tears fall…

“We’ll get her the help she needs, Randy, the club is partially to blame for this, the label that was put on her head, we’ll help her,” Blade promises, and Randy replies, “And what about your sergeant? Who's going to help him because he looks ready to break?”

“We’ll all band around him, he’ll be alright,” Blade says with such conviction even I nearly believe him but I won’t be alright, I caused this, no one else but me. I’m not stupid enough not to realize Cherri’s words are what sent her over the fucking edge to cut deeper than she had been.

“Viper,” I hear Randy, but I don’t look up at him, and he sighs but continues, “Cherri implied you’ve been screwing her.”

That fucking does it.

I look at him in shock, and his face softens seeing my tears staining my cheeks, and I demand, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

He admits, “She gloated that you’d been screwing her and had screwed her as soon as you got back with Kitty.”

Mother…

“I don’t fuck clubwhores,” I grit.

He nods and replies, “I know, but Lake doesn’t, something Cherri has realized.”

I glare at Blade and snap, “You really should have let me choke her!”

He smirks but nods, knowing I’m right, before I sigh and drop my head again, but only for a moment.

Rustling hits my ears, and I look up sharply towards the bed.

Everything inside me settles as Lake slowly looks around the room before her eyes widen in shock as she notices the bandages on her wrists, realization dawning on her of what has happened.

She looks at her dad and Blade, who hasn’t said anything before she slowly looks my way, her mouth parting.

“Hey,” I whisper as we lock eyes, and my tears fall again at the pain that shines back at me, so much fucking pain that I ignored.

I don’t fucking deserve this woman. I knew her heart, and yet I questioned her, made her feel like shit, caused arguments with her, and now she’s lying in a hospital bed.

“I-I’m sorry,” she chokes, her tears streaming, and I shake my head as I quickly kneel before her and grab her hand with both mine and press it against my lips.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about,” I try to soothe, but she shakes her head.

She sobs, “I-I didn’t mean to cut that deep, I-I p-put our baby at risk.”

I squeeze my eyes tight at her words, her confirmation that it’s mine settling me.

“O-Oh god, what have I done?” she cries, and I tighten my hold on her hand before cupping her cheek with my other.

I soothe, “Don’t think about it, shorty, just breathe for me.”

She shakes her head, her body trembling, and without a thought, I quickly stand and climb on the bed with her and quickly bring her into my side, my arm wrapped around her while my hand cups her head.

“I-I’m so-so sorry,” she cries, and my tears fall as I press my lips to her head, not saying anything, knowing she won’t hear my words.

“H-How could I do this to her, how?” she sobs louder, and I swallow hard, tightening my hold on her while gently shushing her.

We’re having a girl…

I sniffle before I choke, “I’ve got you, shorty, I’ve got you.”

I shouldn’t have fucking left.

***

After about ten minutes, her cries calm, but I don’t move from my position, keeping hold of her as I gently run my fingers through her hair as she holds onto my tee while her dad and Blade stay near the door. They are allowing me this time with her while also keeping the women back.

Ivy, Skylar, Luna, and Raya have all been trying to get in here to see her, but thankfully, the brothers have refused them, though Skylar has declared their family vacation/honeymoon is on hold until she does see her.

A throat being cleared catches my attention, and I look up to see Dr. Andrews looking at Lake with concern. I swallow my growl of disapproval, having his eyes on her, while Lake grips my top tighter, also noticing him.

He looks at me and nods me over, and I sigh.

I don’t want to move from my position, especially when I haven’t held her like this in five fucking months.

“I’ll just be by the door, shorty, alright?

” I whisper, and she shakes her head before she nods, her tears falling on my shirt.

I gently move from underneath her, helping her lay her head on the pillow and so fucking carefully, like she’s made of glass, I pull the duvet up to cover her, my eyes going to her tiny as fuck bump.

She hasn't been taking care of herself, and again, I put all the blame on myself.

Swallowing hard, I lean over her, pressing my lips to her forehead and placing a gentle kiss as I run my fingers through her hair then I walk over to the doctor, who is standing with Blade and Randy.

I look her way to see that she’s looking at her stomach, and I ask the doctor, “How is she?”

He sighs and admits, “She’s lucky,” and I wince. He continues, “She cut just a little too deep, different from the other ones, which I would say are roughly two months old.”

I flinch. When I left...

“She has depression, that is a given,” he continues, and I squeeze my eyes tight as Blade clutches my shoulder in support.

“I’d like to have five minutes with her if you all don’t mind then I’ll come and discuss the next stage from here,” he finishes and I tense but Randy grips my shoulder as well and says, “That’s fine,” and the doc nods then walks over to Lake, sitting on the chair next to her bed.

She looks at me first, and I tilt my head, and she shows me her fear.

I soften and nod towards the doctor, encouraging her to talk to him knowing this is for the best even if I don’t like it. Her eyes tear up, but she does as instructed and pays attention to him. Meanwhile, I cross my arms over my chest and watch his every move, as Randy and Blade keep hold of me.

“The baby?” Randy asks and I confirm, “Is mine,” and he sighs with relief.

I look at him and Blade and say, “It’s a girl.”

“Fuck…” Blade whispers, understanding just how far along she is, while Randy looks at his daughter with sorrow and guilt.

I look to see her talking quietly, and the doctor nods along, and Blade questions, “What will happen now with you two? Will you co-parent?”

“No,” I deny instantly; the thought of just coparenting is gut-wrenching.

“You’re not suing her for custody, Viper, I won’t let you,” Randy says quietly, and I look at him and reply, “I won’t be doing that either.

I love your daughter, Randy. My head is just a little fucked up at the moment with the whole Cherri is her mama bullshit.

For years, the club has been instilling in our heads that we couldn’t trust your daughter if she ever showed up, that she would trap us.

I can guarantee you right now the only reason why she didn’t tell me about our daughter is because she was scared I’d accuse her of trapping me.

Fuck, I fell in love with the woman she is before I knew who she was related to.

We both messed up, and I’m,” I sigh, “I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, especially with this right now, but I can’t lose her and not because of the baby. ”

“The brothers fucking suck,” Randy mumbles, and I agree, “They do, and I think after this, they’ll see their mistakes, but you can’t just undo years and years of shit being ingrained in you, which is why I had to leave.

I was angry, Randy, I beat that fucker Joey, who she slept with after I lied and told her I never loved her, to death. ”

“It’s all bullshit, Viper,” he says firmly while eyeing his daughter, “Her reason for being mad at you knowing women use the brothers, something I made sure she was aware of. It’s just all bullshit that you never should have let come between you.”

I nod because I know he’s right, and I admit, “I know, but right now I don’t know how to drag us back from it. I never have, which is why the arguments between us and the hostility grew. I’ve never been in love before her, Randy, just like she had never had a relationship before me.”

“You both need your heads banged together,” Blade mutters, and I raise a brow at him because seriously, the fucker has no leg to stand on. He rolls his eyes and snaps, “I sorted my shit out with Luna, she forgave me.”

Randy snorts while I shake my head before we hear footsteps and look as the doctor walks back to us.

“What’s the verdict with my daughter?” Randy demands to know quietly, and Dr. Andrews looks at Lake, whose eyes are back on her small stomach.

“Depression is hard, it can suck you in,” he admits, “and she is in deep. She’s malnourished, the OB did a scan, and while the baby is on the small side for twenty weeks, she’s thankfully healthy. Lake admitted to only managing to eat for her, but she never has an appetite.”

I swallow hard and look at my girl again before the doctor continues, “I explained she’s going to be on suicide watch for seventy two hours and that I’m recommending her for a three week program two hours out of Santa Monica where if need be, they can add time on.

But, with it being voluntary, she’s refusing. ”

“What?!” Randy demands in shock, and I look back at Lake again, my mouth parted.

“She claims she didn’t mean to cut so deep, that she wasn’t committing suicide and said she’ll take a few weeks off work to recuperate,” he admits, and I look his way as he sighs, “She’s also admitted to seeking out an adoption agency.”

I step back in shock, my body trembling, and Blade quickly grips my arm to keep me up.

No, surely she doesn’t want to… I look her way again, my eyes wide, seeing hers on her stomach.

Fuck me, what have I done?