Page 5 of Violet Moon (Pitch Mountain Pack #1)

four

Sera opened the back door of the bakery and expected to find a busy kitchen.

Days had passed since the escalation with Jason and they hadn’t heard any good news from Crooked Creek.

She was looking forward to a hectic shift to get her mind off of things.

Instead, she saw Parisa standing by herself at the other end.

Her Alpha looked up from where she was kneading dough.

“Surprised to find me here? Me, too. It’s not a bread-making day, but I needed the stress relief.”

Sera opened her mouth to ask why, worried something else had happened with Jason, but Parisa continued, her voice growing softer.

“Don't mind me. I’m just caught up in my head today.”

“Any reason?” Sera asked, shutting the door.

Parisa kept kneading, staring at her hands as she worked. Sera stood beside her, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

“Care to join in, azizam ?” Parisa held up dough-covered fingers, ignoring the question.

Sera shook her head.

“You haven’t ruined anything lately,” Parisa noted.

“Because I haven’t attempted anything in years.”

“If you insist on not baking, I’d still like to have your company.” Parisa smiled, a small, fragile thing. “You could slice fruit for Billie before she makes tonight’s batch of tartlets.”

“I bet I could still find a way to ruin that.”

Parisa glanced over at her. “I bet not. Alpha orders, so you have to try.”

Sera protested, but got to work across from Parisa.

None of her kitchen skills were up to par with the rest of the house, but instead of wallowing in all the imperfections in her cuts, Sera forced herself to be present.

Quiet moments together like this were precious to her, and Sera was glad they didn’t feel the need to spoil it with unnecessary talking.

There was a conversation all its own taking place in the way they moved around one another in the kitchen.

She was focusing so much on her work that she didn’t notice Parisa was beside her until the skin on her arm tingled. Startled, she almost dropped the glass bowl of fruit she was holding, but Parisa reached out to catch it. Parisa’s hands cradled her own like they were made of glass, too.

“Whoops, glad for those wolf reflexes,” Sera said with a strained laugh, Parisa’s hands still touching hers. “Though I suppose if they were a bit better I wouldn't have gotten jumpy and dropped it in the first place.” She looked over her shoulder because Parisa still hadn’t moved.

Her Alpha’s eyes were focused on her and the world around them went silent.

Sera couldn’t hear the hustle and bustle in the front of the shop, the annoying fan noise the industrial oven made, or even that faint sound of the fridge that only she and a couple of the other wolves could hear.

The dark green of Parisa’s eyes swallowed her like the forest that sat behind their home.

“Pari?”

Parisa snatched her hands away, looking down at them, then back at Sera. “Told you I was out of sorts tonight. Nothing a freshly baked loaf of bread can’t fix, right?” She spun around on her heels, skirt swirling around her as she dashed towards the oven. “Shouldn’t be long now.”

She kept talking but Sera found it hard to listen. The backs of her hands still felt warm.

“You were gone for a while today,” Sera said, placing the pot of tea she’d brought for her Alpha on the small table between their chairs in the living room. The fire had dwindled down to embers, but the room still felt warm and welcoming.

The tension that crackled in the air since the Alpha situation at Crooked Creek started had lessened. Sera still hadn’t heard any news, but Parisa seemed to be more like herself — no more surprise emotional bread baking — if a bit tired.

“Another hike with Jo to give them some space to talk about how the transition is going,” replied Parisa, pouring herself some tea before settling back into her chair, shoulders curling in on herself. She smelled like sunshine and forests, but looked deflated.

“Wear yourself out?”

“Something like that.”

“You’re getting old,” Sera teased.

“I’m already old.” Parisa laughed, but the sound was weak. “And you are, too.”

“Excuse me. You’re only as old as you feel. And I feel about twenty.”

Parisa raised a drowsy eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” Sera snickered. She searched Parisa’s face for reasons she might be less animated. Typically, an evening out with a pack member put her in good spirits. “Is everything okay with Jo?”

“Yes, yes, of course. Nothing out of the ordinary there. It is difficult, though.”

“Their transformation?”

“That, but also, on a very selfish note, I’ve been considering the difficulty of finding that balance between the role of a modern Alpha and that of a traditional one.”

“What do you mean?”

“I spend my day managing the pack, both like a business and a family, but I no longer provide for my pack, not in a ‘let me lead us on a hunt’ kind of way. It’s been ages since I’ve kept up a decent sparring schedule.

” She glanced at Sera, who’d been her partner for that in the past. “I can’t help but feel I’ve lost something.

Maybe by striving to be who I thought my pack needed, I’ve forgotten to be who they actually need. ”

Sera felt like she was being handed pieces of a puzzle without knowing what she was supposed to make with them. “No one here — absolutely no one here — finds you lacking in anything.”

“No one in this pack, no. But that’s always how it’s been, hasn’t it? If you’re going to be one of the only female Alphas in the region, you have to be prepared for how everyone wants you to fail.”

“Did someone say something to you?” Sera sat upright. Her voice was a low growl as she gripped her coffee cup.

“Nothing for you to concern yourself with.”

Sera’s heart beat faster. Her skin felt prickly as the wolf’s defensive instincts grew. “If someone questioned your reputation, or the reputation of this pack, then it is my concern.”

“It’s nothing like that,” Parisa replied, silencing any further comment.

Sera seethed, running through Parisa’s schedule in her mind and wondering who had caused this.

“I can handle myself, my dear Beta.”

“And if I do my job right, you shouldn’t have to handle anything like that. Seriously, if someone said something to you, I’ll —” Sera placed a hand on Parisa’s knee.

“Everything’s fine,” Parisa said, closing her eyes and letting out a slow, heavy breath.

“I’m processing a lot. I do have something to discuss regarding all this, and I promise I’ll let you know.

Tomorrow. I need to sleep on it.” She paused.

“I’m sorry to dump all my thoughts. I have no one else to complain to but you. ”

Sera patted Parisa’s leg, then placed her hands in her lap. “I’ll always be here for you.”

“I know.” Parisa smiled, grabbed her tea, and took a sip. “Now, can we talk about anything else? How about the book Edgar lent you? I saw you tearing through it the other night. You were probably in here until sunrise.”

Sera couldn’t let go of her worry, but she froze, knowing the reason she had been up so long reading was because the book had reached the sweet, sweet tension relieving point where the characters finally got together. “You know how it is with a good book.”

“I hadn’t read that one yet. Would you recommend it?”

Sera held her cup tighter with her sweaty palms at the thought of Parisa reading this and knowing Sera had been into it — really into it.

“Yes, if you like sort of thing,” she said, but she could feel a blush creeping up past her collar.

Some of Edgar’s books were of a more heated variety, especially this one.

“What sort of thing?” There was a teasing lilt to Parisa’s voice.

There was no hiding it. Everyone knew what type of books Edgar bought from the fairy bookstore downtown. “Richly rewarding plots.”

“So very, very rewarding,” Parisa echoed with a sly smile.

With violets fresh from the greenhouse in hand, Sera entered Parisa’s office ready to start their day together, but Parisa’s serious expression set the tone from the moment she walked in. She dipped her head in deference and shut the door.

“I have something I need to discuss. This is going to sound sudden, but please know I’ve been considering it for some time now,” Parisa began.

She gestured for Sera to take a seat. “I know we’re not a large pack by modern standards, but the bakery continues to grow, our pack welcomes new members every few years — I believe we could handle more — and we need to continue to set our eyes on the future. ”

“Don’t we already do that? What else can we do?”

“I’m naming Wilma as Gamma.”

Sera felt like the floor had dropped out from under her.

Her stomach swooped as she replayed the words, processing them, willing them to make sense.

A Gamma? In a pack their size? The Crooked Creek Pack had four wolves with named positions, but their pack numbered in the thirties, not thirteen.

It didn’t make sense. They were doing well with just the two of them.

Why did they need a third person in a leadership position?

“I can see your wheels turning, Seraphine. In this modern age, it’s unconventional. I’ll grant you that. But traditionally a pack of our size would have had a Gamma decades ago. Historically, we should have an Alpha, a Beta, a Gamma, and a Delta, at the very least.”

“I know that, but the needs of a modern pack are different.”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot and, honestly, is it all that different?”

“Pari, Alpha. Our lives are different now. We’re not running and hiding in the woods, fearing for our safety if the town finds out. We’re not fighting off other packs. You’re not facing duel after duel for your authority anymore.”

Parisa’s face darkened. Her eyes flashed amber.

She pinched her lips together in a tight, straight line before she spoke again, voice deep and rumbling.

“The health, safety, and reputation of the pack comes before all else. Haven’t we lulled ourselves into complacency?

Haven't we weakened ourselves by throwing out too many of our old traditions?”

“What are you talking about?”

Parisa sat forward in her chair, bringing her hand down hard on the top of her desk.

“These traditions were there for a reason. They’re not like the lofty, meaningless titles humans give each other at their jobs.

This is the structure and the foundation of a pack.

The pack must be strong in every regard, on every front. Strong enough to meet any challenge.”

There was a desperation in Parisa’s eyes that was nothing like the Alpha she met with daily. Sera warred within herself, but dipped her head. “I will, of course, support any decision you make for the strength of the pack.”

Parisa relaxed, but Sera could smell Parisa’s heightened emotions in the air and feel her rapid heartbeat as though it were rattling around in Sera’s chest, too. Her Alpha took a steadying breath and attempted to paint on a different expression, but it was a thin veneer.

“I think she’s perfect for it,” Parisa said. “She’s already an essential part of the bakery and this pack. We wouldn't function without her.”

As much as she felt something slipping away from her, Sera had to agree with the choice. “Wil is perfect for leadership. She’s confident and steady.” Unlike herself, Sera thought with a pang in her chest.

“Precisely what I was thinking. I love when we’re on the same page like this. Though we often are, aren’t we?” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Yes. Great for pack leadership to be in accord like this,” Sera replied, shoulders tense. “Thanks for asking for my opinion. I know you didn’t need it.”

“You’re right. I would have done it anyway, but I like knowing what’s going on in that head of yours.”

The clock on the wall rang out, and Parisa stood.

“I have an appointment to keep and I will never be late. I’ll go straight from there to Crooked Creek because Clyde has asked for me again,” she said casually, like this also wasn’t potentially big news.

“Don’t wait up for me. I don’t know how long I’ll be there. Perhaps all night if they need me.”

Sera tried to not let the silly sting she felt in her heart show. There’d be no chat by the fire tonight, then. “Of course.”

“I’ve scheduled a meeting with Wilma for tomorrow evening, too. I will take that alone but will instruct her that, afterwards, she may come to you with questions. I’m not good at that sort of thing.”

Sera nodded, knowing she was doing a terrible job of hiding her true feelings.

Though, if Parisa could read her like a book, then Sera could do the same for her.

She didn’t always know the details, but she’d known Parisa long enough to know she was keeping something to herself.

That hurt worse than any of the doubts about herself that this conversation had unearthed.

Parisa walked towards the door, but paused beside Sera. She placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “It’s a good thing. I promise.”

“I know.”

“It will be good for this pack and for both of us.”

“I know,” Sera repeated.

“ Azizam .” Parisa’s hand slid down Sera’s arm. “Can you tell me what you’re thinking?”

Sera glanced at her. “I’m fine. It’s just big news. I’m processing everything.”

“Well, you know I’m always here for you. And Wilma will be, too.” Parisa patted her arm and left.

Sera looked down at her hands and her mood sank further.

She’d crushed the violet stems in her fist. Doing her best to make them look nice again, she placed them in the vase on Parisa’s desk.

She had a feeling they wouldn't be admired today, but she wanted them there for Parisa just in case her Alpha had a moment for herself.

Sera glanced at the clock. She didn’t really have the time before her bakery shift, but she needed to run. She needed to be her wolf and deal with the rest of the day later.