Page 16 of Violet Moon (Pitch Mountain Pack #1)

eleven

Sera skipped the line and burst through the vampire cafe doors with a wild look in her eyes. Scanning the floor for Hugh, she didn’t see him in any of his usual spots, but she did see Eugene wiping down a table and she darted over to him.

“Hugh’s not here,” he said once he noticed her.

“But can I get you something? Got a new syrup we mixed up today. Could be lovely. I hope. I think it is. Anyway, I bet you’d like it.

” His smile was so warm and kind Sera had an impossible time figuring out how on earth Hugh found anything annoying about this soft, sweet man.

“Do you know where he might be?” She asked, then added, “But that sounds like a temptation I just can’t pass up if it wouldn't be a bother.” She was in a hurry but she couldn’t be rude. Also, potentially life-changing realizations demanded a treat.

A few minutes later, she left with determination and a warm cup of rich, spiced, caramel-flavored coffee in a to-go cup.

By the time she reached the bookstore, her coffee was gone and her hands were shaking from nerves and sugar.

She could’ve tossed the cup but she held it in her hands to give them something to do besides shake at her sides.

She beelined through every aisle in the long, narrow shop until she found exactly who she needed to talk to.

“Hugh! Flowers messed with my head and you messed with my head, so now I have to talk with you.”

He glanced up from the book of poetry in his hands and motioned to the chair opposite him with an overly sweet grin.

She flopped down into the well-worn chair and gripped the empty cup in her hands. “How did you know I liked her?” Sera couldn’t bring herself to say Parisa’s name and she definitely couldn’t say another four letter word that would much better describe the humming in her chest.

He closed his book and folded his fingers together as his features softened and those steady, calm eyes found hers. “Everything,” he replied.

“Unhelpful. I’m serious. Please, I’m reeling here.”

“What do you need from me, mon lou lou ?”

“I need you to tell me what you’ve seen that made you know so that I can know it, too, because right now I think I know but I don’t know.”

“This seems like a conversation for another location. Shall we take a walk?”

“Please.”

Back out on the sidewalk, there was a flood rising up in her throat and she couldn’t voice any of it. She simultaneously wanted to let the dam burst and shove it all back down inside.

“That was the least coherent I’ve heard you be in years. It must be serious,” he said, bumping his shoulder into hers.

Sera stared down at her shoes and the uneven pavement.

“You need me to tell you what I’ve seen, hm?

” He paused. “I’ve seen every cliché thing that you’re not going to believe because it sounds so fake when someone else says it, but so real when you feel it.

Your entire face changes when you talk about her.

Your voice sounds different, too. You brighten. You laugh easier.”

“She’s my Alpha and I’m her Beta. That’s part of it.”

“I don’t doubt that, but it’s more than respect and admiration, more than the pack bond between you two. Sera, you care about every person in that house. You tell me stories and laugh and rant, but with her — with her, you get stars in your eyes.”

“You’re right. It does sound cliché,” she deflected because it was easier than letting anything else out.

“Cheesy like staring into one another’s eyes, but when you do it, it’s anything but.”

“I give her flowers,” she blurted, not knowing where to begin.

She scanned the street looking to see if it was busy and if she should be more careful with her words to avoid gossiping tongues, but Hugh had steered them down a quiet street lined with parked cars and not a whole lot else.

“I always put thought into it, just as I would a gift for anyone, but I do it every day. Flowers can mean something, Hugh,” she turned, placing her hand on his upper arm until his pace slowed.

“I think I wanted it to mean something.”

“What’s your favorite part of your day?”

“When we sit by the fire and talk. Or in the summer when it’s too warm, we sit out on the back porch and listen to the cicadas. Whenever one of us is too busy to talk I never sleep well.”

“What’s special about her?”

“She’s strong, strong in so many ways. I’ve seen how she can fight, and don’t get me wrong, that’s hot, very hot, but she shoulders burdens with grace and carries the weight of the pack every single day in a way that shows that she does it not only because it’s her responsibility, but because she wants to. Because she loves her pack.”

“And you.”

“What?”

“She loves you, too.”

Sera’s heart sank. “That’s the problem.”

“Hm?”

“There’s no way this feeling, whatever this is, is returned.”

“Why not?”

“For a million reasons! For her this is just our normal life. She’s not over there suddenly realizing she’s been giving someone love flowers for years or thinking about how if she doesn’t get to talk to someone that she isn’t going to sleep because that’s insane.

She’s too level-headed for any of that. She’s never given any indication of any kind of that love is even a possibility for her. ”

Alphas, as a whole, weren’t seen as romantic beings. Clyde had never openly had a relationship that she knew about. But then again, she didn’t really know the inner workings of their pack. Packs were private for a reason.

Another fear gripped her chest. “And I’m her Beta. This is not something that happens. Or can happen.” Sera had never heard of an Alpha and Beta being together. There might not be a rule, but years of tradition made it seem impossible. “It would weaken the pack. It weakens the Alpha.”

“How can love ever weaken anybody?”

“That surprisingly sappy coming from you.”

“Just because I don’t believe in the human notion of monogamy doesn’t mean I can’t fall deeply in love.”

“You and Clemente are the oddest and cutest pair, I swear.” Sera’s eyes widened. “Or do you mean someone new? Hugh, is it someone new?”

Hugh ignored her question with a grin. “Many, many times over too many centuries, I’ve collected love, lovers, and hurt, but I’ve never felt weakened by any of it.

Not in any way that I couldn’t learn from and gain something from.

” He placed his large hands on Sera’s shoulders.

“Everyone I’ve loved made me stronger, even when I lost them. ”

She placed her own hand on top of one of his and smiled up at him, eyes watery. A silent conversation passed between them, shared memories as friends combining with everything they’d not yet spoken to one another.

Hugh smiled back, a lopsided sort of thing, and let out a long sigh. “Enough of me.”

Sera realized it was her turn to be open now as she fell back in step alongside Hugh.

“I can’t lose her. We’re tied together as a pack, as Alpha and Beta.

That bond can’t be taken lightly and it’s something beyond romance for a reason.

If something happened — if an Alpha and Beta weren’t perfectly in sync or when things went wrong, the health of the pack would be in jeopardy. The health, safety —“

“And reputation of the pack comes before all else. I know. And I won’t deny that adds another element that makes this more difficult, but you’d be a fool to think she feels nothing for you.”

“I know she cares for me, trusts me, but —"

“She has stars in her eyes when she talks about you, too.”

“She does not.”

“Again, I can’t convince you. I can’t make you see what you’re determined not to see, but when she sees me, she mentions you in the first five words.”

“When do you two talk?”

“I’m not a shut-in and neither is she.”

“What does she say about me?”

“Same as you. A quick story about something funny you two talked about. Or she’ll tell me about something you did that made her proud. She brags about you, you know.”

“Because I’m her Beta.”

“Stars in her eyes.”

“Hugh.”

“Stars. In. Her. Eyes.”

“Even if you were right and not making it up or reading into something that isn’t there, it still couldn’t happen.”

“And that’s something for you two to figure out, but you’ve managed to make it through much worse over the years.”

“I can’t jeopardize the pack.”

“Would anything honestly change?”

“How can you even ask that? Nothing would be the same!”

“Internally, sure. But on the outside? What would change about how the pack functioned?”

Sera ran through her day, letting her imagination run wild with what could be.

She’d still bring her flowers. They’d still meet to run over the day before it began in earnest. They’d still make time to sit by the fire, hopefully more often, like they used to.

Maybe it’d be easier to find time to talk because Sera’s room could be Parisa’s room and they could talk when they woke up and before bed.

She felt her skin warming. “I just want to talk to her.”

Hugh gave her a puzzled look.

“All I ever want to do is talk to her and listen to her.”

“So what would change?”

“Everything.”

“And with the pack?”

“I don’t know. There’s too many ways things can go wrong.

” As quickly as she could imagine all the best parts, the worst slipped in there, too.

Their disagreements could be more heated.

Discord between them could cause rifts in the pack.

People could look down on Parisa because of something Sera wanted. “It’s selfish.”

“Love is pretty selfish. I’ve been to enough weddings to know all that love is patient, love is kind stuff, but love is also selfish.

It wants and it needs. It pleads for what it wants and refuses to let anything else get in the way.

Love is wild. Love is fearful. Love is anger and passion and a desperate need to just talk to each other and be there. ”

Sera shook her head. “I’m not going to say anything.”

“I won’t force you — of course I won’t.” He patted her cheek before turning back towards the path ahead of them. “And I will never judge you for what you choose because it’ll be the right choice.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’re you.”

“I’m confused and barely holding it together, Hugh.”

“Aren’t we all?”

“Sorry I’m late!” Sera burst through Parisa’s office door and held out the roses she’d clipped in the greenhouse. She’d wrapped them in a nicer handkerchief than usual.

Parisa stood and took them with a gentle smile. “They’re lovely, my late, little Beta.”

Wilma stared down at her binder.

Sera’s cheeks were warm.

Parisa set the roses in the vase on her desk and got back into whatever she and Wilma had been talking about before she got there.

Sera had no idea what they said because she was too busy trying to remember how to sit, what to do with her hands, and trying not to stare at Parisa with this new information in her head.

By the time the meeting was over, Sera had contributed nothing and Wilma was leaving. Sera found herself alone with her Alpha.

“What’s got you in such a state today, azizam ?”

“Nothing! Just thinking a lot.”

Parisa circled her desk to where Sera sat. “About what?”

Sera looked up at her and all human language drained out of her ears.

Parisa was beautiful. Sera knew this and yet she’d never taken the time to stop and consider her muscles, her curves, the way her hair framed her striking features.

She knew she was staring but she couldn’t stop it. Her mouth was dry.

Parisa leaned in towards her. “Now I’m really curious.”

“Nothing to be curious about.” Her voice cracked.

Parisa’s smirk made a shiver run down Sera’s spine. “Good thing the full moon is soon. You can run from your thoughts, like I love to do.”

“Yeah, that’s just what I need.”

“I need a lot more than that, but it’s a start.” Parisa leaned back against her desk, arms crossed.

“Oh?”

She tapped her fingers on her arm. “Alphas have their secrets, too. And as much as I’d love to stay and make you squirm a little longer —” She winked. “I’ve got to go and you have a bakery shift.”

Sera bolted upright and checked the clock on the wall. “Oh no, I’m late for that, too!”

She moved towards the door, but Parisa put a hand on her arm.

“Thank you for the roses. I needed them today.”

“You’re welcome. I have fun picking them out, too.”

Parisa’s hand dropped to her side. She cast her gaze down to the floor, hair falling over her eyes. “I need them every day, but sometimes I need them a little more.”

“Are you sure everything’s alright?”

Parisa glanced up, features pulled together in a tight, neutral expression. “Yes, I’m just tired.”

“We’ve known each other too long. I know there’s something else. And you said that if it got to be too much to handle you’d ask for help.”

“You worry so much. Besides, we really do need to leave or we’ll both be late.” She patted Sera on the arm as she walked past, her hand lingering for a moment too long. “Don’t worry about me. I’m okay. And whatever isn’t okay is going to be fixed with a full moon run.”

Sera reached for the sleeve of Parisa’s dress. “Pari,” she pleaded. “Be honest with me.”

“I am. I promise it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

She waited until Sera nodded, then left.

Sera stared at the roses on her desk, wishing she had time to run as her wolf so she could empty her mind before work at the bakery.

Maybe a full moon run really was the reset they both needed.