Page 14 of Violet Moon (Pitch Mountain Pack #1)

ten

“There’s no bread again today?” a customer asked, disappointed.

Sera shook her head. “Our bread maker couldn’t bake it today,” she replied, making it sound like Parisa was on some sort of impromptu vacation.

In reality, Sera had no idea where Parisa was.

She hadn’t seen much of her since the night they sparred.

That night had been the last somewhat normal evening and Sera wished she had savored it more.

“But if you’re in the mood for something buttery and delicious, one of our extra-big, ‘wolf-sized’ croissants might hit the spot.”

Sera helped the front of the house staff get through another rush before retreating back into the office where a pile of everything that was slipping through the cracks with Parisa gone was waiting for her. She wouldn't have survived the past few days without Wilma.

It wasn’t like Parisa to disappear.

Worry weighed on Sera’s shoulders and she slumped, sighing and leaning back in her chair. She tipped her head back, staring at the ceiling. As Beta, she could help run the pack in her Alpha’s absence, but should she have been doing more?

Hours later, and several customer rushes behind her, Sera left the bakery and returned home, walking directly to Parisa’s office. She knocked, even though she knew she probably wasn’t there. “Pari?” she called out. When no reply came, she tested the door to see if it was locked.

It opened. Sera stood there for a moment, hand frozen on the door, before she pushed it open and shut it behind her. She waited for permission to enter or sit down that would never come.

The violets she’d brought for Parisa earlier were still in the vase, and the daisies from the day before had been moved to another vase on the bookshelf behind Parisa’s chair. There were signs that Parisa had been home, but she clearly hadn’t done much while she was here.

Sera circled the desk, skimming her fingertips across the surface.

Parisa’s planner was open, but it was turned to the wrong week.

She flipped through the pages and stopped on the current week.

It was empty. Dipping her head, she pulled open the top drawer.

There was nothing there but pens and office supplies, all neatly arranged.

She sat in Parisa’s chair and pulled the other drawers open to find organized file folders and a surprise snack drawer that had more chips in it than Sera would have expected from Parisa.

Nothing was out of place. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Nothing provided any clues as to where Parisa had gone or why she wasn’t at the pack house.

Sera turned to look at the door to Parisa’s bedroom.

Chewing her bottom lip, she stood and crossed the room in a few steps.

She quietly asked for forgiveness as she opened the door to her Alpha’s room.

Like her office, everything was tidy and clean.

The bed looked slept in, though, and that made Sera’s shoulders relax.

She put one foot in past the doorway, but quickly pulled it back.

There were some lines she wasn’t willing to cross and sneaking into Parisa’s room was one of them.

Her cheeks and the tips of her ears bloomed red the longer she stood there looking at Parisa’s things, and she rushed to close the door.

Leaving Parisa’s office, she gave one last look around the room, wishing something would stick out as abnormal, but it was the same as ever.

At least Parisa had come home at some point. Sera closed the door, face set with determination. She was going to stay awake until Parisa was back.

Sera placed a plate with two tartlets from the bakery on the side table next to the sofa and took her seat in the pack’s living room. The fire fought the late-night autumn chill, the coffee was fresh, and she’d just finished steeping a pot of tea for Parisa.

As long as Parisa came home that night and they chatted by the fire, everything would be alright.

Sera read and waited. She made it through twenty, forty, then sixty pages of the book. Packmates came and went and Sera chatted with each of them. Time dragged on. Still there was no sign of Parisa.

She read the same paragraph for a third time before sighing and closing her book. Worry gnawed at her stomach — a selfish disappointment did, too.

“Beta Seraphine!” Jo sauntered into the room with a big smile. “What are you still doing up? It’s nearly dawn. Is it because you’re reading? Is it good?” They plopped down on the sofa right next to Sera.

Sera faked a smile. Her emotions were already in overdrive. She didn’t need Jo here on top of her worry for Parisa, but the instant Jo sat down, memories were already slipping out of the locked box where she kept them.

“It’s decent. Not one of the best I’ve read recently, but I’m still reading, so it can’t be that bad.”

“Is it one of Edgar’s books?”

Sera nodded.

Jo sat back with a huff, crossing their arms. “He says I’m too young to borrow any. I’m twenty-nine!”

Sera chuckled despite the raw feeling in her chest. “You’re young by his human standards. By my wolf standards, too.”

Jo shifted closer on the sofa. “Can I at least read the back? I’m just curious.”

The second Jo’s arm and leg bumped into her own, Sera’s chest clenched as blurry memories resurfaced, pieces of them sharpening as Jo continued to talk beside her.

She wasn’t listening. Her mind drifted elsewhere, to a home she could barely remember and a freckled face she wasn’t sure if she wanted to remember more clearly or forget altogether.

She didn’t know which would help her move on and be able to be alone with Jo without this happening.

She used to read to him. They didn’t have many books, but it was fine because he wanted to read the same one over and over. The book had a red truck in it and his face lit up each time it appeared on the page.

“Beta Seraphine?”

Sera pulled herself back into the present. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

“Nothing important.” Jo narrowed their eyes. “You alright?”

“Perfectly fine.”

“You know, I dump all my feelings on the pack so I can feel better, and you can do the same.” Jo shifted on the sofa, turning towards Sera and folding one leg on the cushion, the other dangling off the side.

“Nothing to share. I promise.” Sera chewed her bottom lip. Words poured out around the lump in her throat. “You just remind me of someone.”

Sometimes Sera wondered why so many of her fuzzy memories were just the two of them. Maybe they’d been the closest. Maybe their parents had been busy. Maybe they’d only had each other. She wanted to remember him. It hurt, but it connected her to a past she’d lost. It connected her to who she was.

“You mentioned that before.” Jo grinned.

She couldn’t stop the words as they tumbled out. “You remind me of my brother.” Her bottom lip trembled. Sera gripped her pant leg, fisting the fabric in her hand. She tried to keep her expression neutral, but she could feel she was failing.

Jo sprung off the couch and threw their arms around Sera’s shoulders. They held on tight, squeezing Sera until it almost hurt.

Sera felt hot tears stinging the back of her eyes. She inhaled a shuddered breath. She screwed her eyes shut as Jo clung to her to make sure no tears slipped free, but one did anyway. It trickled down her face and was salty on her lips.

Jo gave her one more squeeze and then let go, pulling away with a concerned expression on their face. “I’m sorry.”

“What on earth for?” Sera laughed, the sound watery. She wiped a hand across her cheek, sniffling.

“Is that why you don’t like being around me?”

Sera froze. “What?”

Jo curled inwards, eyes landing on their hands folded in their lap.

“I’ve noticed you’ll sit and chat with others in the pack, but never me.

I thought you didn’t like me much, or that you found me annoying.

But now that I know this, I think it makes sense.

I can leave you alone if that’s what you need. ”

They started to move away, but Sera reached out for Jo’s hand.

“That’s not what I need. Or want.” She did avoid Jo. It was easier than dealing with memories that refused to stay buried, but as much as it stung, maybe she wanted that reminder. It was bittersweet. It was the feeling of love enduring after so much had been lost.

She didn’t want to lose anything more. “You’re part of my pack, my family. I don’t want you to stop being around me.”

“But is that the reason?”

Sera nodded.

Jo placed their other hand on top of Sera’s. “I have no idea what it’s like for any of you. My family is still around. They make me feel terrible sometimes, but at least they’re here. For some of you — for you, for Parisa, Emmaline, Wil.”

Sera sniffled again. Jo’s palm was warm against her skin.

It grounded her in the present. Memories faded, but the bittersweet feeling remained.

“Then it’s a good thing we have each other, isn’t it?

We’ve lost a lot, but I think —” She paused, knowing what she wanted to say, but she needed to gather the strength to say it.

“I know I’ve lost an entire life I used to have, but now I have Parisa and all of you. ”

Jo sat there, stunned for a second before leaping forward and crushing Sera in another hug. “I don’t know what to say, so I’ll hug you instead. Is that okay?” They squeezed harder.

Sera thought of a little boy doing the same right before he went to sleep. She wrapped her arms around Jo’s middle and hugged them back. “It’s very okay.”

They stayed that way for a while before Jo pulled back, eyes glassy. They laughed and broke the tension that hung in their air between them before returning to talking about the book like nothing had happened, but for Sera, something had opened inside her, and this time, she welcomed it.