Page 27 of Violet Moon (Pitch Mountain Pack #1)

nineteen

Sera lay on the bed fully dressed. She stared at her hands, wondering if she should give in and let the wolf out. A run in the woods was far preferable to this pity party, but she didn’t want to leave in case Parisa wanted to talk.

She sighed and rolled over, picking at a loose thread on her pillowcase. Her brain was itchy and her body was restless. The urge to welcome the wolf grew stronger.

A knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. “If this is about the laundry schedule again,” she called out as she walked to the door, “I still can’t do anything to change it. If you need to swap with someone, you’ll have to —” She flung the door open and saw Parisa standing there.

Her hair was free of all its pins and hung loose around her face. She stood barefoot in the hallway, wearing an old gray sweatshirt over her neatly pressed dress. Her shoulders were slumped as she curled in on herself.

“Can we talk?” Parisa whispered.

Sera nodded and stepped aside. As the door shut behind her, Sera realized this was the first time Parisa had ever been in her room.

“Last time you asked me if you could speak without me saying anything, and now I’ll ask for the same.” Parisa’s voice was small and grew quieter as voices passed by in the hallway.

“Of course.” Sera braced for the worst.

“I didn’t bring a treat for you.” Parisa chuckled weakly, her expression strained. “I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about everything. I guess what I wanted to tell you is — if I really think about it — what I’m trying to say is okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’ve got to just say it, don’t I?” Parisa took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She looked Sera in the eyes. “ Eshgham , I’m all in. If you’re still ready, then I am, too.”

“I’m ready!” Sera blurted.

“Just like that?” Parisa took a step towards her.

“Yes, it’s what I want.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It can be.”

Parisa took another step. Sera held her breath.

“So, what do we do now?” Parisa puffed out a soft laugh that Sera felt on her skin.

Sera steeled her nerves and took Parisa’s hands in her own. “We do what we always did, only now we can —” She couldn’t finish the thought. Her cheeks flushed with warmth.

Parisa leaned in closer. Sera’s eyes fluttered shut as she leaned in, too, ready for a kiss that was even better than the one earlier. But it never came. She opened her eyes and Parisa was inches away from her, her face scrunched up in frustration.

“Why is this so hard? I already kissed you once,” Parisa whined.

“Because now it means something.”

Parisa’s features softened. “Everything with you means a great deal to me.”

Sera closed her eyes again as the pull between them took over. Their lips brushed, soft breaths passing between them. Parisa gently held her face, guiding her closer and flooding her with feeling, the kiss much more intense than their first.

It was over before she wanted it to be, and she chased Parisa’s lips as they pulled away.

Parisa stroked her thumb along Sera’s face, grinning wider until it spilled over and Parisa burst with laughter. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She tried to catch her breath as her laughter turned into high-pitched giggles. “I just can’t help it.”

It wasn’t the reaction Sera expected after their first proper kiss, but, like everything with Parisa, she loved it. Her own small smile broadened until she was swept up in her infectious laughter.

“I played this out in my head so many times,” Parisa said, trying to calm herself, “and never once did I start laughing. I have no idea where this is coming from.”

“Don’t worry. I like it.”

Parisa’s cheeks were rosy. “It’s so embarrassing. I’m just happy. That’s all.”

Sera’s heart warmed at the sight. She squeezed Parisa’s hands tighter.

Parisa wiped away a tear. “The pack is going to hear us,” she warned. “Though the second I showed up outside your door, I bet someone sensed me and already started wondering.”

“You think?” Worry began to slip in alongside Sera’s joy.

“I never come up here.”

“Have you really never —”

“Never. I had to avoid this space because it’s so filled with you. I couldn’t handle it and still keep you at arm’s length.”

Sera skimmed her hands up Parisa’s arms until they were hooked behind her neck. “You don’t have to anymore.”

“This isn’t going to be easy.”

Sera rested her forehead on Parisa’s. “I don’t know. Feels pretty easy to me right now.”

Parisa ran her hands up Sera’s back. “You’re sweet, but you know what I mean.”

“I know, but like everything we’ll find a way through all of this together.”

“I feel like I’m being selfish.”

“So what? You’re allowed to once in a while. You do so much for everyone. You deserve something for yourself. Hugh said love is all these wonderful things, but it’s selfish, too. It’s a good thing to want to cherish someone.”

“Hugh said love is selfish?”

Sera nodded.

“I agree. Absolutely I agree. I’ve been selfish all this time.”

“Not nearly enough.”

“But I’ve kept you by my side for years without being honest with you. Meanwhile, you apparently recognize your feelings and tell me within a few —”

“Weeks.”

Parisa grinned. “So delightfully impulsive.”

“Overthinking things for weeks is hardly impulsive.”

“What are a few weeks to a werewolf?”

“Agonizing. But better now.”

Parisa pulled her into a tight hug. She dipped her head and nestled her nose along Sera’s neck, running her fingers through her short hair.

“I haven’t let myself dream of having this in so long.

It got so easy to rename the ache I felt as the loneliness that comes with leadership.

I could fill every waking moment with work so that I wouldn't linger too long on any one thought of you.”

She clutched Sera’s shirt. “I hate how worried I still am. Someone has to be the first to do anything, and I guess that’s us. I just can’t shake the fear that perceived weakness will continue to follow me after I spent so long trying to fight it.”

“Maybe these feelings don’t make us weak.” Sera started, not knowing what to say. “Maybe it has happened before — an Alpha and a Beta — but it’s one of those things we don’t hear about. And I know you make me stronger. I don’t know what I have to offer you, but I’m stronger by your side.”

“You don’t know what you have to offer me?” Parisa lifted her head. “Then it looks like I have the job of making you see what I see in you.”

Sera flushed a deeper shade of pink.

A group of their packmates passed by Sera’s closed door, talking much too loudly for this time of the morning when most of the pack was asleep.

Sera startled, pulling away as though they were about to be seen, but Parisa held her close.

She buried her face against Sera’s neck and pressed a kiss to the soft skin there.

Parisa gave her another squeeze and pulled back, her hands falling away. She had a sideways sort of smile. “I have no idea what to do now.”

“We don’t have to tell them all right away.”

“No, I mean, right now. Like, in this moment. My body is simmering with nervous energy and adrenaline and I have no idea what to do with any of it. I was so scared.” She laughed again.

Sera’s eyes lit up. “We could run.”

“We should sleep,” Parisa replied.

“Which one’s more fun?”

They exchanged glances and Sera raced to her door, flinging it open and scurrying down the empty hallway with Parisa behind her. She looked back over her shoulder and reached for Parisa’s hand, linking their fingers as they hurried towards the back door, feeling giddy and daring.

There was someone in the kitchen as they raced through the house, but Sera skidded past, stifling another fit of giggles before they were out the back door and in the early morning air.

Sunrise would come soon and Sera could feel a weary ache in her bones, but she was too weightless and high on the feeling of love and being loved in return that she didn’t care.

They ran to the edge of the forest, sprinting past each other like two kids.

When they reached the treeline, Parisa whipped her sweatshirt off over her head and Sera quickly looked away, afraid she’d combust if she saw anything.

She could only hold back her desires for a moment, though, and she dared a glance behind her.

Parisa stood proudly in the pre-dawn light, all muscles and soft curves.

Sera shuddered with the realization that after everything that happened tonight she could dare to dream of skimming her fingertips along Parisa’s skin and doing much more than a chaste kiss in her bedroom.

Nerves washed over her. She looked back at the forest, heart thundering in her chest. She welcomed the chill in the air as it touched her skin in the moments before her transformation.

The wolf was itching to be free. It clawed its way to the surface and reshaped her body faster than usual.

She hit the ground with four feet, ready to run.

Parisa took off, dashing along the treeline away from the house. Sera followed behind, teeth bared in a wolfish grin.

They ran until Sera’s lungs were starved for breath.

Parisa rounded on her and pounced before Sera could dodge.

Sera whined as her side smacked into the ground and she rolled onto her back, feet kicking as she pretended to struggle.

Parisa nuzzled into the fur around Sera’s neck and nipped at her skin.

She held Sera down with a firm paw to the chest, light enough to let Sera know Parisa was being careful, but strong enough to remind her that her Alpha was still her Alpha, no matter what happened between them.

Sera yelped and squirmed. She swung her neck to the side and snapped her teeth as close as she could get to Parisa’s front leg.

Parisa growled and pressed down harder. Sera wriggled beneath her hold as she bared her neck so more of it was exposed.

Parisa bit down gently, and a jolt of danger and desire rolled through her.

Sera stopped trying to free herself. Parisa lifted her head and stared down at her, predatory eyes locking on Sera’s for a moment before she growled again and backed away.

Sera got up slowly, feeling dazed, and readied herself for another pounce that never came.

Parisa turned towards the woods, glanced back at Sera, and dashed away.

There would be time for more of the things that made heat pool low in Sera’s belly. That was for another night. As night bled into day, all Sera wanted was to share Parisa’s joy.

Back outside the house, Parisa pulled Sera out of the line of sight of the windows and held her close. “Thank you for this,” she whispered along the shell of her ear. “The second challenge is soon. I needed this. I needed time with you.”

Sera’s joyful expression was wiped away. “When is it?”

“In a few days. I’m sorry for cutting you out.” Parisa held Sera’s hand, winding their fingers together. “I’ve told Wilma that you’ll be my witness again.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.”

“But what if I —”

“You won’t.”

“You can’t know that.”

“No, I can’t know for sure, but I know you after all these years. Now that you’re not burying how you feel, it probably won’t try to escape any longer.” Parisa ran her thumb over the back of Sera’s hand.

“I don’t want to ruin anything.”

“But there’s no one else I’d rather have there with me.”

Sera shook her head. “Pari, I don’t know.”

Parisa squeezed Sera’s hand tighter. “You make me stronger, remember?”

“Now what am I supposed to say to that?”

“Just say you’ll be there with me.”

“Of course I will.”

“As my Beta, but also as my Sera.” Parisa tugged her close and planted a quick kiss on her lips before grinning and disappearing through the back door, leaving Sera stunned and blushing.

She brought her hand to her lips, grazing the spot that tingled with warmth. There was no way she was getting any sleep that morning.