Page 21 of Violet Moon (Pitch Mountain Pack #1)

fourteen

The coffee was hot, the tea was fragrant, the fire was roaring on a chilly autumn night, and Parisa was finally sitting across from Sera, exactly where she should be.

As Parisa talked, Sera drummed her fingers along the side of her coffee cup, jumping at every little sound around the house.

“I seriously cannot handle Clemente anymore.” Parisa took another sip of tea.

“I counted how many times he interrupted me today. Seven! Seven times. He thinks he’s so great just because he’s a million years older than anyone else.

" She raised her cup to her lips again. “Truthfully, he’s far better than he used to be, but that’s not saying a lot. ”

Sera tried to listen but her skin was hot as anxiety simmered inside of her. Silence stretched between them as Parisa turned her attention back to her tea.

Sera sat with her feelings until she couldn’t take it anymore. “Are you really not worried about it?”

Parisa set down her tea cup with a clatter.

She took her time folding her hands neatly in her lap before looking directly at Sera.

“The worry consumes me. It’s been decades — longer — since I handled a duel, but I’m not going to fall apart.

” She leaned forward, maintaining eye contact.

“And it’s so much easier now that you share this burden, too. ”

“But there’s nothing I can do to help.”

“I feel immensely better knowing that someone else knows — that you, in particular, know. It’s not that the problem has magically disappeared like I wish it would, but it’s better. I should have told you sooner, if not for my sake then at least so you could mentally prepare for whatever happens.”

Sera wasn’t sure if she meant preparing for being at the duel or preparing for the worst case scenario, but she didn’t want to talk about either, so she didn’t ask.

She shifted in her seat and tried to sip her coffee, but her hands shook when she picked up her mug.

Sera cast her eyes down to the floor, lamenting how useless she really was in this situation.

“Do I ask too much of you?” Parisa asked.

“No, not at all. Of course not.” Sera looked up in a panic. She couldn’t be more of a burden than she already was. “If anything, I wish I could do more.”

Parisa stared at her, features soft, eyes a bit watery. “I promise, you do more than enough.”

“But I —”

“I made you something,” Parisa interrupted. She picked up a small, opaque container from the side table. “I wanted to thank you for the daisies earlier. I did enjoy them, even if it was much later in the day. They were lovely, azizam .”

Sera managed a tiny smile. Parisa motioned for her to take the container.

Peeling open the lid, Sera suppressed a delighted gasp.

The large cake slice inside was soaked in a rosy, still-warm syrup.

It was decorated beautifully with small rose petals and pistachios arranged meticulously around the edge.

“I must apologize. I baked it more for myself than you. I needed the process of doing it but, aside from the several slices I’ve eaten today, you’re the only other one to get any.” Parisa handed her a dessert fork. “I thought it’d pair well with your coffee.”

Feelings like Sera tried to keep buried rose to the surface. Important, big words danced on her tongue and she looked up at Parisa and wanted to say them, but she kept it all inside. “It’s beautiful.”

“It’s a Persian Love Cake. I decorated it just like how I remember my grandmother doing it.”

Sera held the container tighter. Parisa hardly ever spoke about her past. She sealed her lips, stared at the cake, and waited to see if Parisa had more to share.

“I don’t remember a lot. It’s been so long, but there are pieces that stick with me forever, images that come to me sometimes when I smell rosewater. This is one of them.”

“I get the same feeling whenever I get a scent of the sea,” Sera said, voice quivering. “Or whenever I’m around Jo.”

Sera searched Parisa’s face for signs of what was happening below her beautiful exterior.

“You do more for me than I think you know,” Parisa said.

“You saved me, Pari.”

“And you’ve saved me, too, a thousand times.” Parisa leaned over further to pat Sera’s knee. Her hand lingered as she said, “Now do you want to eat that before or after we spar tonight?”

She answered Parisa’s question with another, “How much cake is left?”

“Enough for at least two more slices.”

“Then both. I choose both,” Sera grinned.

Nothing was normal now. Nothing felt right. But if she could be who Parisa needed her to be, then that was enough for her. She didn’t dare hope for anything more.

“No coffee tonight?” Hugh asked with a knowing grin, swirling the wine in his glass.

Sera shook her head. “No coffee tonight. I needed something stronger.”

“There’s whiskey for that.”

“Not even whiskey does anything for my head. I guess I just need the taste, then.”

“What’s on your mind, mon lou lou ?”

“So many things, of which I can tell you about very few.”

“Well, that’s no fun.”

Sera gave him the most pitiful look she could manage. She could feel it slipping from feigned concern for show into something real. Hugh’s face softened as it did.

“Anything I can help with?”

“No.” Sera sighed. “Wolf stuff. Big wolf stuff this time, I’m afraid.”

“It wouldn't have anything to do with that spicy little Alpha up at Crooked Creek, would it?”

Sera nearly spat out her wine. “How do you know about that?”

“Please, my dear. Gathering gossip like that is child’s play. Give me some credit. I’ve known for weeks. But what does that have to do with your pack?”

“Nothing I can talk about.”

“Now I’m both interested and worried. Are you sure you can’t tell me?”

Sera shook her head. “Pari has sworn me to secrecy for now.”

“And how are things going on that front?”

Sera raised an eyebrow.

“About some particular feelings?”

Of course he wanted to talk about that. On top of the guilt she already felt for harboring feelings like this for Parisa, she felt worse because she should be focused on the duel, not on how she longed to run her fingers through Parisa’s hair.

She’d done a decent job keeping it all below the surface, but there was always a low level concern running through her that Parisa had already seen right past the thin veneer.

“They are properly shoved down deep inside where I will smother them until they die,” she replied with finality.

Hugh gave her a sideways sort of smile. “Is that what you want?”

“It’s what is needed, so yes, it’s what I want.”

“Those can be two very different things, needs and wants.”

“And what I need is for the pack to remain strong, so my wants will always and forever come second — or last.”

Hugh took another sip of wine and sat back in his chair.

“I had to fight to put myself first and I don’t think I could live any other way now.

” He set down his glass and gave Sera a poignant look.

“I killed the witches that made me to serve them. Once I had that taste of freedom, it was so good, but I was lost. It wasn’t until I met Clemente that I realized how good it could be to stop putting everything else before yourself.

You can’t draw water from an empty well and you can’t be there for others if you aren’t first there for yourself. ”

“I take care of myself,” she said, knowing she was dodging the heart of what he had said.

“I agree. You’re here with me now, aren’t you?”

“I do make time to unload all my problems on you.”

“I’m happy to listen. And tease you some.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

“Good, because if you don’t do something with those feelings, that little wolf heart of yours is going to burst.”

“I told you, the current strategy for handling feelings is smother and kill.”

“I didn’t want to love Clemente, that obnoxiously wonderful man, and yet here we are.”

“Feelings are terrible.”

“Confusing and delightful.”

Sera thought about the days ahead. “They complicate everything. Hugh, I’m too weak to be who I need to be.”

“Who is it that you need to be?”

“A real Beta, one who’s actually there for her Alpha, not whatever mess I manage every day.”

Sera expected some clever retort, some memory from Hugh’s past delivered as a counterpoint. Instead, she got a simple question, “What does Parisa have to say about all this?”

Sera’s words caught in her throat. She knitted her hands together in her lap. “She doesn’t agree with me in the slightest.”

“She’s a wise one, that Alpha of yours.”

“I’m just worried that because I’m not enough that she’ll — I can’t tell you, but everything could be over. We could lose everything.”

Silence gripped the small space between them as the gravity of the situation seemed to take hold. Sera watched Hugh’s face for any indication of what he was thinking, but of course, he was as calm and collected as ever. The only give away was a gentleness in his gaze.

He rested his palm on top of Sera’s hand. “I sincerely hope nothing that makes you look this scared ever happens. I may not know what’s going on but, so help me, if anyone causes you this much grief, I know they have your pack to deal with, but they also have to contend with me.”

“Run with me tonight?” Parisa paced across the floor in her office. The duel was the following night and tension was thick in the air.

Sera nodded, eager to shed this skin and be her wolf.

They hurried to the back door to let the night swallow their concerns.

They shifted not far from the house and Sera kept checking to make sure no one could see her from the windows and turned her back to Parisa.

Having Parisa this close was enough to make her skin feel on fire.

She knew her pale skin was dotted with pink, blushy splotches.

Her heart hammered in her chest in the seconds before the shift and she felt selfish to be so excited given the circumstances that led them here.

Parisa growled behind her. Sera turned to find Parisa playfully baring her teeth. Her Alpha dug her feet into the ground, and took off running. Sera bounded after her, joy rushing through her in waves as she chased Parisa in the moonlight.

When they reached the edge of the woods, Parisa stopped, spun around, and tackled Sera, who yelped and tried to squirm free. Parisa licked her face and sprang back, fleeing into the forest with Sera right on her heels.

They raced through the thick forest, climbing up the old, low mountains near their home.

Parisa kept disappearing into the trees only to reemerge in time to launch an attack.

Sera would try to dodge, but she didn’t mind when Parisa pinned her to the ground either.

Hearing Parisa’s lighthearted yips and seeing the liveliness in her amber eyes was the gift that Sera had needed for so many days.

The trees around them started to thin as they reached the low peak that overlooked the pack house and Hickorywood beyond it. Her legs and lungs burned as they dashed the last several feet, and when they stopped she couldn’t resist the chance to catch Parisa unaware and tackle her.

Parisa whined as her back hit the ground and she feigned trying to break free.

Sera knew Parisa could shake her off in a second, but she didn't. Sera dipped her head low and nuzzled into the soft fur around Parisa’s neck, gently biting her to signal her victory.

Parisa’s whine grew louder, but she no longer squirmed beneath Sera’s paw.

Parisa nipped at her neck. Sera closed her eyes and buried her muzzle deeper into chestnut brown fur and breathed in the scent of her Alpha drenched in the smell of the forest. Her mind grew fuzzy as she filled her senses with Parisa, saturating her lungs with her scent, her ears with the soft sounds of her panting.

A twig cracked somewhere behind them and Sera snapped out of her trance. She leapt back from Parisa and turned towards the source of the sound, only to find a passing deer who seemed to think better of being near two large wolves and ran into the woods.

Parisa stood and walked towards the edge of a nearby cliff, staring down at the view below. She was gorgeous in the moonlight, and Sera knew that the only place she should be right now, no matter how her emotions warred inside of her, was by her Alpha’s side.

Now, at the duel, and every day after, Sera knew where she belonged.