Page 3 of Tweedles Reflection (The Crimes of Alice #4)

After Kat stopped laughing, she and I agreed to meet up tomorrow to go over a plan of attack.

“Alright, go take care of your guys. Or let them take care of you.” She wagged her brows. “It’s a crime to have so many pretty males and not put them to work.”

I snorted. “You would think that. Maybe I should tell Chess you’re wanting to add to your bedmates.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Kat gasped. “And besides, Chess is more than enough for me. There’s only room for one chaotic gremlin in my relationship, and that’s me. I couldn’t imagine having to juggle all that testosterone.”

I chuckled but didn’t really feel it. If only she knew how much I wasn’t juggling.

Cheshire and Hatter were full-on team Alice.

I didn’t know how to explain to her that the jury was out on the twins.

Will they forgive me? If they did, would they still want to be with me? And did I even want to be with them?

So many questions, and none of the answers were coming tonight. I said good night to Kat and dragged myself to the front door of my and Hatter’s little home. My hand hovered over the door knob, listening to the sounds of the males in my life inside.

“No, you cannot talk to the people in the television. It’s not like a mirror.”

I smiled at Hatter’s voice.

“How does the light stay in the glass?” I could almost see the wonder in Cheshire’s face.

The human world would be something they had to get used to, if they planned to stay. A fist squeezed around my heart. Would they want to stay here with me? I had little doubt Cheshire would ever want to leave our side. But the twins...

Well, you’re not going to find out by standing out here all day.

My back molars ground together. “I guess your promise that I wouldn’t even know you were here was a lie?”

Forgive me if your melodrama is becoming mind numbingly boring. This is the problem with you younger fae. Always hiding your feelings and making it so easy for others to manipulate you for their own gain.

I lifted my hand and glared at the dark ring around my finger. “And I’m sure you just had to take advantage of us.”

Of course, I did. I wouldn’t be living up to my full potential if I let you —

The front door opened, revealing Hatter, his brows pinched together. “Alice dear?” He glanced around the front porch. “Who are you talking to?”

I shoved my hand behind my back and grimaced. “Just talking aloud. Too many thoughts in here.” I bumped the side of my head with my other hand. “Had to get some of them out.”

Hatter smiled softly, holding his hand out to me. “Let’s quiet that head of yours.”

Allowing Hatter to draw me inside, I took in the scene before me with a startled laugh.

The twins sat on the floor before the television, eyes darting back and forth as soccer players ran across the screen. Every few moments, when something happened, they’d shout at the screen, yelling at the players as if they could hear them.

I shook my head with a smile. Typical males.

“Where’s Cheshire?” I asked Hatter, strolling through the living room to the kitchen.

Passing through the small country style kitchen with its two seater breakfast table and geometrical wallpaper, I zeroed in on the fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine. Popping the cork, I didn’t bother with a glass before drinking deeply from the bottle.

“Like father like son, Cheshire has gone to investigate our bedroom.” Hatter ticked his head to the side, listening. “I believe he has found our toys.”

I snorted, taking another drink. “That didn’t take long.”

Hatter crowded me in the open fridge door. “I do believe he will be insatiable tonight.”

I hummed and leaned into Hatter’s chest. “Kat thinks I should be happier. That having four mates means that I should be four times as happy.”

His arms tightened around my waist, his chin sitting on top of my head. “Kat is pregnant and fully mated to Chess. She doesn’t know the complications that have come with your new beaus.”

“My love life is the least of our worries right now.” I shook my head, pushing away to shove the wine bottle back in the fridge. “I don’t have time to sort through their feelings.”

“I understand, my dear.” Hatter pulled me out of the open fridge and shut the door before trapping me against it, his arms on either side of my head. “Of all of us, I understand the most.”

His nose brushed against mine, his voice low. “You’re terrified. I know. And it’s alright to be scared. Not just of what will happen with the Tweedles but the trials, being High Queen. So much expectation for someone who only ever wanted to be free.”

I swallowed and licked my lips, peering up at him beneath my lashes. “This sharing feelings thing is going to be a pain.”

Hatter smiled before pressing his lips to mine in a chaste kiss. “Perhaps. But anything that lets me help you, know you more, can hardly be a bad thing. I want forever with you, Alice darling, even if it means being at the mercy of your wayward emotions.”

“How can you be alright with all this?” I pressed my head back against the fridge, lifting my chin. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll love one of them more than you? I can see this going so wrong in so many ways. How can you be okay with this?”

“You love me, yes?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

“And you love Cheshire?”

“You know I do.”

“And I love the both of you. Even if it only ends up being the three of us, I will take any scrap of love you have for me. Now and forever.” His mouth pressed to mine, his chest flushed against me.

My toes curled, fingers finding the lengths of his long silver hair.

Hatter kissed me slowly, thoroughly, as if he had all the time in the world, and he wanted to spend every moment of it tracing the crevices of my mouth.

I clung to him, my heart racing. A thrill of desire zipped through me, settling between my thighs. I didn’t know if it was his emotions or mine. They blended together so seamlessly that I just embraced what I felt in that moment.

“Mercury,” I murmured against his lips. “Take me to bed.”

A throat cleared.

Hatter didn’t release me right away, his lips lingering over mine as he spoke. “I’ll go make sure our cat hasn’t gotten too overwhelmed.”

I giggled. “Doubtful.”

With Hatter no longer blocking my view, Coby stood in the kitchen doorway. He tugged at the bottom of his shirt, his head tilting to the side as he watched me.

I suddenly wished I still had the wine bottle.

“Can we talk?” Coby’s eyes traced my movements as if I were some great predator that would pounce on him at any moment.

I gestured to the kitchen table, holding back the frustrated sigh that threatened to release.

Coby sat opposite me, his muscular frame making the tiny chair look even smaller. “You and Hatter made a home for yourselves here.”

I busied my fingers, gathering up papers I’d left on the table before I’d left. If someone asked me what the papers were, I couldn’t have told them. My focus was streamlined to the pounding of my pulse in my ears.

Coby continued, unbothered by my silence. “When they told us what you had done, we didn’t believe it. We railed and fought against them, screaming that there was no way that you could have betrayed us, betrayed the Underground.”

I swallowed down the lump of emotions in my throat.

“No one was your bigger advocate than Carban,” Coby almost whispered the words. Probably not wanting to gain his brother’s attention.

With nothing else to fiddle with, I drew in a breath and locked eyes with Coby. “You were wrong.”

Coby nodded. “Yes. We were devastated. For the first few years, we went through everything, every step, every moment with you in the Underground. We tried to reason, to make some sense of what you had done and if we could have stopped it. We’d even come up with a plan to try to escape the Shadow Realm to find you. We wanted to save you.”

I sat there, quietly, letting him speak as long as he needed to. It was the least I could give him. Since I wasn’t there to save him. To save any of them.

A harsh laugh escaped him. “Unfortunately, our plan never happened. Every chance to get to the Reaper was squashed before it started. Not until...”

My tongue darted out to wet my lips. “Chess.”

“Yes.” Coby laced his fingers in front of him on the table, leaning forward slightly. “When Cheshire’s son showed up, we thought this was it, this was our chance. Then we found out that not only were you saved, but Hatter was free too.”

I knew where this was going before he said it.

Then he said it.

“You never came, Ally.” Coby’s voice was soft, not accusatory like Carban had been before. Just sad.

“I know.”

Coby grasped my hands. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. You’ve already made it clear that you didn’t remember us. And while a part of me is hurt that you remembered Hatter and not us, I know it’s not your fault. You didn’t have a choice in the matter.”

“Right,” I murmured, unable to meet his eyes.

His thumb traced over my knuckles, coming dangerously close to the ring. I drew my hands away, flinching at the flash of hurt across his eyes.

“I suppose what I am trying to say,” Coby blew out a breath, dragging a hand over his face, “is that I don’t blame you. I don’t want to be angry anymore. I want us to be like we were before.”

I chewed on my lower lip.

“I’m not asking to jump right into bed with you, Ally. I just want you to know I still care about you. I didn’t spend a hundred years pining after you to let it go the moment it gets hard.”

Emotion filled my chest. It would be so easy to pretend like the last hundred years hadn’t happened. That we could just unpause from where we left off. But they’d said some hurtful things. I’d said some things.

I wanted to move forward. Even if at the end of this I was one or two fewer males that loved me.

“Coby,” I began, clearing my throat. “I’m not the same Alice I was when we met. I’m not even sure who I am to be honest. You might not even like this new version of me.” I gave a depreciating laugh. “I’m not the fearless woman I once was, barreling headfirst into danger and the unknown.”

My lips ticked up at the edges. “I’ve faced down the shadows and have lost so much from my choices.

And even though I have all my memories back now,” I placed my hand to my chest, “there’s still parts of me that aren’t the same innocent girl I was before.

So, I suppose what I mean to say is that if you loved me before, you may not love me now, and that has to be something we can both be okay with. ”

His head bobbed, his shaggy hair falling over his face. “I get it.”

I pushed to my feet. “You and Carban can use the guest room.” I pointed back toward the back of the house. Before I could run away to my bedroom, Coby caught my wrist.

At his full height, my nose was just shy of his chest. My chin tipped up, gazing into his sorrowful eyes.

“I just want...” Coby began, threading his hand in the base of my hair. “I need to see if...”

Knowing what he wanted, I offered my lips to him.

His mouth enveloped mine. His mouth pulled at mine, an almost chaste kiss. Then it was more. So much more.

Our chests smashed against one another. His tongue swiped at my mouth, diving in to taste me as soon as I opened for him.

I gripped his shirt with my hands, letting him lead the kiss until my lungs were burning with the need for air.

He released my lips with a gasp, his mouth trailing down my cheek, my jaw, my throat.

Hand on the back of my neck, angling me this way and that until he found the spot that made my knees turn to butter.

He sucked and bit my neck, until I was sure I would have a bruise left behind. When he was satisfied, he pulled back, his thumb brushing the mark he made, a feral sort of possession in his eyes.

Then that softness returned. He smiled, kissed me on the forehead, and released me.

“Goodnight, Ally.”

I practically wobbled on my legs to the bedroom. Sinking against the door as it closed behind me, I barely registered the other two males in my room.

“Well, well, well,” Cheshire purred from the bed. “It was so kind of Coby to wind you up for us.”