Page 17 of Tweedles Reflection (The Crimes of Alice #4)

“Not like us,” Coby murmured against the side of my neck, hand cupping my breast. “And you can have this, you can have everything, if you just stay here... with us.”

Hands pawed at my clothing, mouths found my skin, hands in my hair. I gasped and moaned. The sight of Lewis watching me, seeing what he lost, sent a wicked feeling of satisfaction that was more satisfying than seeing him piss his pants in the face of the JubJub.

Wait.

The JubJub.

Hadn’t I seen that? That’s right. I changed into the JubJub and chased Lewis around his house. How was he even here?

My brows furrowed, landing on my mother’s and sisters’ faces. This was wrong. They were dead. All these people, faces I knew from another time. Another place. They weren’t real.

“It’s real, if you want it to be,” Hatter offered, kneeling at my feet, his hands dragging up the length of my skirt. “You could have us and your family. Everyone respecting you. Celebrating you. All you have to do is say yes.”

His words drowned out the doubt in my mind. That’s right. This was where I wanted to be. With them.

“Stay with us, pet.” Cheshire pressed my hand to his face. “And you can have everything you ever dreamed of.”

He’s right. Why would I go?

“Be with us.”

I couldn’t understand why they thought I would leave. Why would I want to? I have everything I could ever want here.

“You can play and make love forever.” Hatter nipped at my inner thighs. “Just stay.”

“That’s right,” Carban murmured. “Forget the pain. Forget about the trials.”

The trials?

My mind tried to make sense of his words through the pleasure of their touch. What trials? There was nothing I wanted more than to be here with them. My loves. My mates. Nothing and no one mattered more than them.

“See?” my sister, Rhoda, commented. “I told you she would pick us.”

“Who cares about some silly sickness?” my mother said, and they all laughed together. “We have everything we need right here.”

Sickness. That’s right. My eyes shot open, peering down to where Hatter knelt at my feet.

“Mercury.” I cupped his face, stroking the swell of his cheek. “You had the sickness.”

“Not anymore, Alice darling.” Hatter kissed the palm of my hand. “Not here.”

“Here,” Cheshire purred against my side, “you won’t ever have to lose any of us.”

“We’re yours forever,” Coby whispered, his hot breath on my ear. “Just like you wanted.”

Something burned on my finger. My brows scrunched together. My gaze fell to the offending hand. Nothing was there. Why was it burning?

Alice.

Alice.

ALICE!

That voice. Why did it instill such fear in my heart? I shouldn’t be afraid. This was a happy moment. I had everything I ever wanted. I had all four of my lovers. My mother and sisters accepted me. And Lewis... Lewis regretted not loving me the way I loved him.

Is this what you are?

What I am? I’m happy. I’m free. There was nothing and no one to hurt us here.

You really are a selfish bitch, aren’t you? No wonder Lewis didn’t want you.

“What?” My eyes shot to Lewis, the longing on his face wrong somehow. “You don’t want me?”

Lewis blinked, not acting like he heard me.

“Of course we want you,” Carban crooned, fingers lacing into my hair.

You’re just going to leave everyone else to clean up your mess again? Not surprising. You couldn’t handle being High Queen.

High Queen? Why would I want to be High Queen?

“You? High Queen?” My mother cackled. “Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?”

The others laughed along with her. Even my lovers chuckled, pausing what they were doing to my body.

I frowned. “Wait, you don’t think I can be High Queen?” I shifted away from the hands and mouths on me.

Hatter’s hand tightened on my hips. “Why would you want to be that when you can be ours?”

“Admit it, you don’t have the strength for it,” Coby added, his hand on my neck. “This is it for you.”

“All you’ll ever be.” Carban’s fingers tightened in my hair, making me wince.

Cheshire smirked at me. “A fae whore.”

I jerked my body, shoving at Cheshire. “I’m not a whore.”

“Sure you are,” my mother argued, lifting her glass up with a grin. “Look at you.”

“So brazenly flaunting yourself.” Lewis smirked, eyes leering. “No wonder I didn’t want you.”

“What are you talking about?” I shoved at the twins as their grip tightened. I pressed my foot against Hatter’s chest, keeping him from touching me more.

Why were they saying these things? Didn’t they love me?

“Love you?” Coby laughed darkly, his grip choking. “How could we love someone as weak and pathetic as you?”

“This isn’t right,” I croaked, pulling at his hand. “This isn’t you.”

“Of course it is.” Carban jerked my head back. “This is what you deserve.” His mouth pressed a hard kiss to my cheek. “You only ever think about yourself.”

“You lied to us,” Cheshire growled, standing to loom over me.

“You left us.” Hatter joined him.

“We were punished because of you.”

Pain ripped through my hair as I yanked myself away from Carban’s hold. “That wasn’t my fault.”

“Yes, it is,” Coby snarled in my ear. “Everything is your fault.”

My magic welled up inside me, growing with the panic of emotions filling me. “No, it’s not.” I shook my head. “No.”

This wasn’t happening. Why did they say these things to me?

“Look at you,” Hatter jeered as he grabbed my jaw. “Still denying it. Why do you keep doing this?”

“Doing what?” I snapped, baring my teeth at him.

“Pretending you’re anything other than what you are.”

I struggled against Coby’s hold on me, glaring at the face of the male I loved. “And what’s that?”

“A villain.”

It was then that I snapped out of it. I was no longer drowning in their love and praises.

These four weren’t mine. My mother and sisters were long buried and dead. Lewis, even if he were alive after a hundred years, wouldn’t be here, claiming his regret.

Everything they were saying... were things I’d told myself.

They’d never say this. Not to me. I knew it.

Deep down in my bones that they loved me even after everything I’d done.

And if anyone thought I would be a good High Queen.

.. it was them. Even when I didn’t believe in myself, they did. Always.

After realizing this, I started to remember. The blessings. The first trial. The JubJub. The pain. The burns. Then the bottle.

This was the second trial.

The hands on my neck were no longer choking. Perhaps because I knew it wasn’t real. With that knowledge in mind, I smiled and I knew it wasn’t a pleasant one.

“And what’s wrong with being a villain?”

Hatter’s face pinched at my reaction. “People hate you. The fae will never accept you.”

“They don’t have to like me or even accept me.” I shrugged. “That’s not what this is about.”

The hand on my face dropped away. The others stepped back, their faces blurring along with my mother and the receiving room. Only Hatter stood remaining clear and sharp as the day I met him.

“You don’t have what it takes to be High Queen.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” I cupped pretend Hatter’s face between my hands. “But I do know that I won’t fail here.”

“You’re too selfish to be in control,” the pretend Hatter tried once more, but it lacked the certainty it had before.

This time, I gave him a genuine smile. “Then you know that I always get what I want.” I pressed my lips gently to the pretend Hatter before commanding, “Wake up, now.”

I shot up in bed, sucking in a gasp of breath. My lungs burned as if I’d been suffocating this whole time. The pain in my body came back ten-fold, reminding me that I was in fact awake and no longer stuck in the second trial.

“Alice!” Cheshire grasped my hand, holding it to his cheek before calling out, “She’s awake.”

Coby and Carban raced into the room. They fell to their knees at my bedside, grabbing out to touch me wherever they could. I pushed up to my elbows, grimacing. Seeing them there before me, made my heart swell.

I frowned.

“Where’s Mercury?”