Page 15 of Tweedles Reflection (The Crimes of Alice #4)

Even my lashes hurt as they fluttered open. I winced against the light hitting my pupils. One of the Tweedles leaned over me, worry etched into his expression as he placed something wet and cool on my forehead.

An unfamiliar room appeared behind him. Wooden slates stretched across the walls, bolts of fabric and spools of thread were piled high on every surface. The light next to where I laid softly lit the room in a golden hue.

My body hurt too much to appreciate the soft mattress beneath me that smelled faintly like Carban. My hand lifted to touch my face, but Carban caught it, the rough callous of his hands holding mine.

“I wouldn’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself further.” Carban lifted another wet cloth and laid it across my face.

I hissed at the contrasting cold to my hot face. “Wha...?” I coughed and tried again, “What happened?”

Carban was quiet for a moment, preparing more of those long strips of cloth. When he finally spoke, his voice was rough with emotion. “We were separated. You drew the JubJub after you,” he grit out, his eyes hard. “I could fucking kill you for that.”

“Kind of dismissing the point,” I laughed and then moaned at the pain that laced through me.

“Serves you right,” Carban snapped, laying a wet cloth on my arm gently. His actions stood in contrast to his words. “The four of us found ourselves in the palace courtyard with you nowhere to be found. Do you know how terrifying that was?”

I stared at him for a moment and then opened my mouth.

“No. I don’t want to hear your excuses.” Carban lifted my skirt without warning, laying more of the cold wet cloths along my knees. “You show up, bleeding and half dead, covered in iron burns.” He shook his head in disgust. “I want to throttle you for letting yourself get to this point.”

I hummed, letting him vent at me.

“Hatter was beside himself,” Carban continued, his eyes on his work. “Every single thing you felt, he also felt. He was a blubbering mess by the time we found you. Cheshire has him in the other room, half drunk on tea so he can breathe properly.”

My heart ached for Hatter. I never wanted him to feel the pain I felt. This heart connection was meant to save him, not put him further in harm’s way.

It made me wonder what would happen if I died. Would Hatter die as well?

A heart bond doesn’t work that way. You may die, but he will always feel the loss. And vice versa.

I snorted, earning me a curious look from Carban. Of course, the Shadow Man would still be here. Where was he when I needed him?

I cannot take the trials for you. You must go through the pain to prove your worth. I can only give you a helping hand.

Not much of a helping hand, in my opinion.

I glanced away from where Carban was covering all my burns with cloth. “Where are we?”

Carban released a sigh. “My home.”

“Your shop?” My brows furrowed.

“No,” Carban snipped. “We don’t live in our shop. This is the apartment above it.”

“Oh.”

I let him work in silence. My eyes never left his face. While his face bunched in anger, there was a lingering emotion in his eyes. Pain. Worry. Emotions I didn’t want to cause any of them.

“Why are you doing this?”

Carban’s head jerked up at my question. “Healing you?”

I nodded.

“Someone had to, and I’m much better at iron burns than my brother. Besides, I...” He paused and swallowed, turning from me. “I wanted to.”

I blinked at him. “You wanted to?”

He licked his lips and turned back to me. “I wanted to take care of you. That’s all I’ve always wanted, Ally.”

The emotion in his eyes locked with mine, making my heart race. I pulled my lower lip into my mouth, one of the only places not hurting, and tried to control the emotions racing through me.

“I want that to,” I murmured, breathing out heavily. “I want...”

Carban stood. “Don’t. Don’t say it unless you mean it.” He turned his back on me, gathering up the things he was using. “I couldn’t take it, if you...”

His voice cracked with emotion and against warning, I reached out and grabbed his wrist.

“Carban,” I pleaded with him, tugging him toward me. “I do. I always have. I might have forgotten for a while, but it was you who didn’t... who didn’t want me.”

The items in his hands crashed to the ground and then he was bending over me. His mouth crushed against mine, his hands pressed into the mattress beside my head, so cautious not to touch me where I’d been hurt.

Palm still burning, I grabbed at his shirt and tugged him closer to me. His mouth pressed and sucked on mine, tongue dipping into my mouth before licking along the edges.

Even with the pain sinking into my very bones, I couldn’t push him away. Every inch of me ached, but it also craved him, desperate to have him closer to me.

“We can’t.” Carban pulled away, breathing heavily. “You’re hurt.” He brushed my hair away from my face with a soft smile. “But the moment you’re better, you better believe I’m going to make sure you never forget me again.”

“I’ll hold you to that promise.”

For just a moment, the love that warmed my heart was stronger than the pain in my flesh, and I couldn’t be happier.