Page 23 of Tweedles Reflection (The Crimes of Alice #4)

Except my death would mean the death of so many more. Ones who were relying on me to pass the trials and save the Underground from the sickness.

With a heavy heart, I dodged and swiped out with my lantern, letting her screams and cries for an explanation feed into my breaking heart.

She grew tired of attacking me quickly, her eyes frantically trying to get one more glimpse of her babies before they were gone.

Stepping up to her side, I lifted the lantern. “I’m sorry.” Then I pressed the lantern to her side.

She caught fire quicker than I expected, almost as if she had been doused in an accelerant. Perhaps that was the magic of the lantern. I didn’t care enough to question it.

My feet stumbled back as I watched her light up into flames, my nose itching with the sickly bitter scent of her flesh and eggs cooking.

Surprisingly, the trees did not burn with the webs. The flames only took what was given and nothing more.

Except a part of me died with those flames. The part of me that thought that everything was black and white. A part of me I didn’t realize had even existed anymore until that moment.

I collapsed on the dirt ground, the lantern falling to my side, the flame flickering before going out. The screams of the dying arachoi went on for what felt like hours until the forest once more filled with the beating of my heart and that alone.

My arms wrapped around my knees, and I buried my face in my lap. Tears for the arachoi and her babies, for how unfair the world was, and for the innocence I once had that was lost to me now.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there. At least until my bones ached and my backside protested. I’d passed the trials. I must have and yet, here I was without a crown without glory. I certainly didn’t feel like I’d won anything.

Eventually, the silence broke.

Several sets of feet pounded on the ground, the vibrations running through my legs. Twigs snapped and crunched. The acrid smoke in the air mixed with a comforting familiar scent.

“Alice!”

Hands grabbed me, pulling me up from the ground, wrapping around my shoulders, my waist, pressing me to hard warm bodies. I hardly noticed. My head was fuzzy and my heart heavy. I couldn’t see beyond the blurry tears in my eyes.

“Ally, baby,” Coby murmured, brushing my hair from my face. “We’ve looked everywhere for you.”

“Here,” I sniffed. “I’m here.”

“Well, we see that.” Coby gave a short laugh. “But why are you here?”

Carban stroked my back and drew me away from his brother. “We know why you did what you did. We never meant to make you feel like you had to hide from us. You never have to hide.”

I swallowed down the ball of emotion in my throat. “I killed them.”

Carban and Coby stiffened at my admission.

“What?” Coby shifted, his head taking in the burned remains before us. “Who?”

I shook my head and buried my face in his chest. “The trial. The final trial.” I choked on the words as my fingers balled into fists. “I had to kill them. The mother and her babies.”

Carban stepped away from me, and I couldn’t watch him investigate my crime as sobs tore from my throat.

“Ally,” Coby said my name as if it were a prayer, “It’s alright. It’s all going to be alright.”

“No, it’s not,” I snapped, shoving at his chest. “Don’t you see?” I gestured to the charred remains. “I did this. Me.” My fists beat at his chest, one after another, trying to assuage the guilt that was eating me from the inside out. “I killed them! They weren’t hurting anyone, and I... I...”

I collapsed against his chest, my breath coming out in quick pants.

Coby pressed me tightly into his embrace, his mouth on the crown of my head as he murmured words of comfort in my ear. He held me tight until my sobs slowed and I could catch my breath again.

“That’s an arachoi,” Carban announced, kicking the carcass. I winced. “Nasty fuckers. I thought they’d gone extinct.”

“No,” I croaked and then cleared my throat. “Not quite. Tatiana had one locked up in the Hall of Mirrors. Cheshire and I ran across this one in the Between.”

Carban nodded as if it all made sense. “You’re lucky it was just one. They’re ravenous, devouring any fae that was unlucky to come across them.” He knelt by the crispy remains of the eggs. “Did you get all the eggs?”

I swallowed. “I think so. She mentioned not having a lot yet.”

“You did good, Ally.” Coby stroked his hand down my hair. “From what I heard, they almost ate the fae to extinction before they were rounded up and executed.”

I shuddered. “I didn’t feel like I did good.”

“Killing never does,” Coby murmured, peering down at me.

“Where’s Cheshire and Hatter?”

Coby brushed his thumbs over my face, drying my tears. “Cheshire stayed back with Hatter. Figured someone had to be there in case someone came asking about the Seelie Queen.”

“Oh, Reaper,” I breathed, seconds away from falling apart again. “How did this happen? I just wanted to save Cheshire and Hatter, and now I’m a murderer.”

“But High Queen.”

My head jerked to Carban, who walked toward me, hands in his pockets.

“You finished the last trial, yes?” Carban pointed a thumb back at the dead arachoi. “That means you’re High Queen.”

“Uhm.” I chewed on my lower lip. “I suppose so.” I shifted my shoulder and moved my neck from side to side. “I don’t feel like High Queen.”

“Maybe you need to go back to the Tree of Life?” Coby offered up helpfully.

When I opened my mouth to answer him, the ground shook beneath our feet. The sky crackled and the ground split.

Carban ran to our side. He and Coby curved themselves over me, protecting me from what was coming.

Then all of a sudden, it stopped.

I lifted my head and blinked. The Tweedles slowly pulled away until I was able to turn and come face to face with the Tree of Life once more.