Page 27 of Tumbling Over the Tight End (Beaumont Legacy #3)

Chapter twenty-seven

Keala

T o say Keala was tired would have been an understatement. In the interest of throwing herself into her work even harder to prove herself—and okay, yes, avoiding Landon—she had offered to take an extra shift yesterday, which hadn’t been her brightest move. She’d made it to Tuesday practice approximately thirty seconds before eight, and Angelica, who had cooled down on her marginally, hadn’t been happy.

At least she hadn’t seemed to spend much of her attention on Keala today other than to remind her that she needed to get her “face energy” up. As the choreography session after practice drew to a close, Cora walked up to Keala, who lay on her back on the practice field, trying to catch her breath.

“Keala.”

She sat up. “Yes, hi. Do you need me to do something?”

“Yes. I need you to sleep.”

“Sorry?”

“You look like you haven’t slept in three days.”

That wasn’t very nice, as true as it may have been. Her inability to fall asleep, and then to stay asleep, had been flaring up. “I slept in this morning.” Until eight, when her internal alarm had told her to get her ass up and get to work on something. Anything.

“You might not be a captain, but as a senior member with years of experience under your belt, you are a team leader. I need you to take care of yourself and set a better example for the women who look up to you.”

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been trying to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she imagined Akoni in his white coat, and her eyes flew back open. Then, when she pushed the insecurities that image brought up out of her head, her mind turned to Landon and all the things she wanted him to do to her. It had been a week since they’d last hooked up, and her body was betraying her, aching for more of him.

She was trying so hard not to give in, too afraid that he’d see the failure written across her face and she’d have to tell him about it.

“I’ll do better,” she promised before Cora went to talk to Jordy.

Zoe helped her up. They packed their things and walked to the lot together. “Are you doing okay? You seem more tired than usual.”

“Just family stuff. Trying to pick up more shifts at the hospital.” Zoe was her closest friend in the city besides Ikaika, but the thought of having to dig through the past, her lies, and all the rest made Keala’s skin crawl.

“I’m sorry. Happy to talk it over if you want.” Keala nodded with a reassuring smile. They continued toward the lot. “Oh! If you’re not doing anything for Thanksgiving, a few of us are getting together for the game since it’s away.”

Keala had been so busy, she couldn’t believe it was already mid-November. Her family didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving, so her parents took the week to travel together. “That sounds good. The hospital gets crazy on the holidays, especially Thanksgiving, so I might go in if it gets too hectic, but I’ll find a way to be there for the game.”

“Great! It’ll be fun.” When they reached their cars, Zoe must have seen something in Keala’s face because she reached out and hugged her. “See you tomorrow?”

“Aye aye, captain!” Keala joked, hoping her friend would stop worrying about her. She gave Zoe one more squeeze before getting into her car.

The drive home flew by. Keala had been so focused on what she would say when she saw Landon next, she barely registered pulling into the parking garage and putting her car in park.

As she stepped out of the elevator, she was faced with the man who’d been on her mind more often than not.

“Oh, hi.” He was in a Sentinels sweatsuit, black with red lettering and the mascot emblazoned on both the sweatshirt and sweatpants. Calling him handsome didn’t do him justice. Even without his signature smile, he was devastating.

“Hi.”

She tried to skirt around him, but he stepped in front of her. “Keala, what’s going on? I know you’re a busy woman, but it seems like you’re avoiding me. It seems like half the time we’ve known each other has been spent with you brushing me off, and I don’t get why.”

She faltered for half a second before blurting, “I’ve been busy. You’re the one who said this was nothing more than sex.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she wished she could shove them back in.

His face dropped, clearly hurt. That look flipped a switch inside of her, and it had nothing to do with her inherent need to please everyone in sight. This was specific to him, and all she wanted to do was hold him and tell him she was sorry.

He moved past her toward the elevator, but she grabbed his arm, tugging him back. “Stop, wait. I’m sorry. Can we talk about this in your apartment?” She realized he was on his way out. “Or are you going somewhere?”

“No, let’s talk.”

She dropped his arm as they walked in the direction of the apartments, not feeling as though she deserved to touch him. When they got to his apartment, he sat on the couch and motioned for her to do the same.

Keala thought she had figured out what she’d say, but now that she was in front of him, she wanted to sink into the cushions and disappear. She didn’t want to see his face when he came to the realization she wasn’t as perfectly put together as everyone thought.

“Keeks, it’s me. What’s up?” he asked earnestly.

He was right. It was him. She’d never had an issue being honest with him. And after she’d told him he could open up to her, it was hypocritical for her to shut him out.

“I told you a bit about my brothers.” She sighed, closing her eyes. “What I haven’t told you is that I knew if I wanted my parents to see me the same way they see my younger brother, I needed to push myself to get into medical school. It was just a means to an end for me. Only, I put in all this work to find out that I’m not smart enough for it. I didn’t get into a single program.”

She opened her eyes, looking for a reaction.

“Do you think you didn’t get in on purpose? Like a subconscious thing?”

“No? I mean, I spent countless hours around school and dance studying for qualifying exams and getting clinical hours in. I worked so hard on my applications, and it just wasn’t enough.”

Landon’s lips thinned like he had something to say, but he didn’t verbalize the thought.

“I always knew the day would come, but for some reason, I haven’t thought about it recently. Friday, I found out that Akoni got into medical school. One program sent him an acceptance, and I’m sure there are more to come. And I’m happy for him, I am. It’s just…”

Keala put her head in her hands as she admitted the final piece. “I told my parents that I got in too and chose not to go. Because I was so embarrassed they would see that I’m not Akoni. As soon as I knew I didn’t make the cut, I applied to a graduate program so I could become an NP. I threw myself into it. I pushed myself so hard because I’d acted like this was the path I wanted. I have to prove it.”

She turned to him. “I’m so terrified of being another family screwup. Yeah, a piece of me is always choreographing, always wishing I could be out on the field every second of the day, but this is what I have to do.”

“To what end?”

“All this hard work will pay off eventually,” Keala said, confused that he wasn’t understanding. “As long as I stay the course, I’ll be able to pay off my loans and live the lifestyle my parents want for me. They’ll be proud of me.”

She blinked and saw Nohea stumbling home after being gone for days, haggard and disheveled, acting strangely, bruises and cuts all over his face. Saw the way her parents yelled at him, yelled at each other while they figured out what to do with him. Her mother’s random bursts of tears and her father’s stoic sadness after Nohea had been kicked out. Sure, she would never reach that level, but since seeing him leave the house for the last time, her life had become a series of pushing herself to be the best, the brightest, the reason for her parents’ pride.

Keala wasn’t sure her parents could survive another family disappointment.

“And once you have that lifestyle? What, you’ll work yourself to the bone until you collapse?”

Keala frowned, crossing her arms across her chest tightly. “If I’m successful in society’s eyes, in my parents’ eyes, then I’ll be happy.” Her voice wavered slightly, but she held firm. “I just have to get there first.”

Landon didn’t answer immediately. He blinked at her, eyes searching her face. It was obvious he wasn’t convinced. His jaw tightened, like he was gearing up to argue, but instead, he let the silence stretch out between them.

“What do you think I should do then?” she snapped, the words coming out like a plea despite her defensive tone. “I don’t know any other path for myself,” she added. Trying to have this conversation with him had been a mistake.

For a moment, she thought Landon would pull back. Instead, his face softened, eyes filled with concern as he reached for her arms, gently pulling them from her chest. “You don’t have to prove to anyone that you deserve to take up space, Keala,” he said, his voice low but firm. “You don’t need to justify your every breath, your every movement, by constantly doing what everyone else wants.” His thumb traced over her hand almost absentmindedly, as if trying to soothe her. “I used to think I needed to work to the point of physical pain to make myself worthy of the attention Colton got. I thought, if I got it, I’d finally matter.”

Keala opened her mouth to protest, but he continued, “Obviously, things changed when I lost my mom. I did a complete one-eighty, pretending I didn’t care what people thought while partying to numb the fact that I still wasn’t anything more than Colton’s little brother. I won’t lie and say I’m over it, but you’ve shown me that’s not true. You’ve proven that I can be imperfect and still be seen. You don’t need to sacrifice yourself for someone else’s idea of what you should be any more than I need to make a name for myself separate from my brother. You can just be . Live your life for yourself.”

Landon’s hands tightened around hers, his grip warm and reassuring. “If you hate this job as much as it sounds like you do, stop killing yourself trying to make others happy with it. You deserve more than that.”

She swallowed hard, tears pricking her eyes. He’d read her like a book. Her life’s work was justification after justification of her existence, the need to prove she belonged in every room, the need to be liked by every person around her.

And to know that someone saw that, acknowledged it, knew the way it ate her up inside, sent waves of something unidentifiable through her body.

His other hand cupped her face, and then he lifted her chin so her eyes met his. “I have never seen you happier than when you’re dancing or talking about dance. During games, I spend half the time defense is on the field—and sometimes when offense is too—watching you in your element. You’re so excited and beautiful, and then you go to work and it’s like someone’s sapped every last drop of it from you. Stop saying yes to things that rob you of your happiness, Keeks.”

Without a thought, she climbed into his lap, legs on either side of his, arms around his neck, face pressed to where his heart beat a steadying rhythm. Zoe had seen that she’d needed comfort, it just hadn’t been the right kind. And how could it have been when Keala hadn’t been honest with her?

But she had been with Landon, and instead of looking at her like she was an idiot for not getting into medical school, he’d seen her. The one person she couldn’t keep from seeing the real her—the version of her she barely knew—wasn’t put off.

Strong arms clutched her to him tightly, like he needed this as much as she did. Into her hair, he murmured, “Please stop avoiding me. I never know what to do and I hate it. If you still want to use me for stress relief, you can find me when you have the time, but don’t run away. I’ve missed talking to you, and I know Ikaika has too.”

“Okay,” she whispered back.

Landon kissed her head, her temple, her cheek, her jaw. Keala leaned back, capturing his lips softly and slipping her hands into his hair. After a few moments, she deepened the kiss, needing more. He groaned into her mouth when her body moved against him.

“We don’t need to do this tonight. Let me make you food.”

“You’ve made me plenty of food. I want this.”

He searched her face, then nodded. “Okay. But I didn’t say all that stuff for this. I just missed you.”

“I know,” she breathed, then kissed him again. All the more reason to want this with him. Her body had missed the feel of his big, calloused hands holding her, and after a long week—long month, long year —she deserved to feel good.

Keala continued grinding on him, enjoying the friction and the noises he made until she knew she was ready for more. She reached down, palming him over his sweatpants, and he twitched, laughing a little.

“I’m glad you’re…learning to focus on…what you want,” he panted between kisses.

“I have a good teacher.” Her hand slipped beneath his boxer briefs. She shoved them down, his cock springing free. When she looked at him, he was watching her with that soft, tender look she’d been seeing on his face recently. Keala was so sure that, to him, this was a casual hook up. But moments like this one made her wonder if this was a bad idea, because she was starting to feel something more . Maybe she had just been seeing what she wanted to see on his face.

Landon placed a hand on her cheek, guiding her lips back to his. “Get out of your head. What do you want?” he asked against them.

She bit her lip, looking down. “Can I ride you?” She’d never had much of an interest in it, but with the way her body felt from the friction, she was sure it would be good.

“Of course you can.” He moved to the drawer in his end table, a hand still holding her close to him as he pulled a condom out. When she raised an eyebrow, he smirked. Landon ripped the wrapper with his teeth and rolled it onto himself, spitting on it. “I like to be prepared. Now let me see how ready you are, baby. Show me how badly you need my cock.”

Keala raised up, and when his finger slipped inside her without resistance, they both moaned. He pulled out and held his finger in front of her lips. She took it in her mouth as she positioned herself over him, sinking all the way down. Landon’s eyes closed, and when they opened again, she could hardly see the brown of his irises.

She moved up and down slowly, then sped up until her legs ached. Keala felt the tension in her spine building, the friction of the position and him filling her enough to push her to the edge. He mumbled praises against her neck as he kissed her reverently, and when he felt her slowing down, he took over, hands on her hips, slamming into her and kissing her mouth hard until they both shook and cried each other’s names.

When it was over, he pressed his head to her chest, breathing heavily with both hands gripping her waist like he wasn’t ready to let go.