Page 48 of Tiny Precious Secrets (The Brothers of Calloway Creek The Montanas #4)

Allie

I don’t sit on her bed. She wouldn’t want that. I pull over the same chair I slept in Thursday night, sit down, and try and figure out what to say. It gutted me when I heard her say what she did about me deciding she was too much trouble. All of this stems from her being afraid.

“Life is scary,” I say.

She scoots further to the other side of the bed.

“It’s scary for everyone. Some people are afraid they won’t make enough money to put food on the table. Some worry they’ll never find someone to spend their lives with. Some are so fearful of the entire world that they won’t even leave their homes. Everyone has something they’re afraid of.”

“Says the girl who has everything.”

“You really think that? Darla, you saw the urn and the ashes. You know about Christopher.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“You really have no idea, do you? I’ve lived in fear for ten years.

Losing him was the worst thing that ever happened to me.

And guess what? After it happened, I wasn’t about to let it happen again.

I was never going to have more kids. Ever .

I was never even going to be in a long-term relationship, because those usually lead to kids. ”

She exhales a deep throaty cackle. “And how’d that work out?”

“These babies weren’t planned. Falling in love with your dad wasn’t either. Both of those things just happened. And I’m glad they did. I wouldn’t change a thing.

“For so long I was so afraid of being hurt by having another baby, I refused to allow myself to live and be happy. But now? Now I’m already part of a new family. You and your dad are that family. The babies are too.”

I lean forward and touch the bed, not that she can or wants to feel it, but I need to do something with my hands. “My brother Dallas lost his first family, you know that. He was never going to love anyone again for fear of another loss. Then he met your aunt. Look at them now.”

“I still don’t see what any of this has to do with me.”

“Darla, I get that you’re afraid of letting another woman into your life. One who will only let you down. I’m not going to let you down. But I’m also not going to try and be your mom if that’s not what you want or need. We can be friends.”

“Whatever.”

“I love you, you know.”

“Yeah, right.”

“It’s the truth.”

“How could it be?” she says, her voice still muffled by the pillow.

“Because you are a part of your dad, and I love everything about him. You are an extension of him.” I take a chance and move over to the bed, relaxing a little when she doesn’t try and push me off.

“I’m not going anywhere. I plan on being in your lives until the day I die, which will hopefully not be for another sixty or seventy years. ”

“I’m sure Stella thought that too. You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I guess you’re right. I can’t predict the future. All I can do is show you how I feel and hope you’ll believe it to be genuine.”

“Friends don’t narc each other out.”

“Your dad had to know about what you did. And if it happens again, or anything like it, I’ll still make you tell him. Being your friend doesn’t mean letting you make bad choices.”

Finally she turns to face me. “He actually had no idea. I thought you would have at least told him I lied to you about sleeping at Aunt Marti’s.”

“I didn’t tell him anything.”

“Yeah. Obviously. He freaked out.”

“He was worried about you.”

“And if I didn’t come clean today? What would you have done?”

I shrug. “I knew you’d tell him. You’re a good kid, Darla. But being a kid myself once, I also knew you needed a little time to get up the courage.”

“You really wouldn’t have told him?”

I shake my head. “Nope.”

She sighs into the pillow. “How much trouble do you think I’m in?”

“A lot probably. My advice? Take it like a grown up. You’re old enough to understand what you did was wrong. You’re mature enough to understand why we were scared ourselves.”

“You? Why were you scared?”

“Have you not been listening? If anything had happened to you, I would have been devastated. The thought of you being hurt or in trouble guts me to the core. Darla, I was scared because I love you.”

Tears well in her eyes. “You barely know me.”

“I still love you. And guess what?” I rub my hands across my belly.

“They’re going to love you too. They’re going to love you so much.

Because you’re their big sister and nothing will ever change that.

The three of you will be tied together for life.

They’re going to look to you for guidance.

And one day, they might even find themselves calling you in the middle of the night because of a bad decision they make. ”

She stares at my stomach. “You think so?”

I laugh when I get jabbed by an elbow or foot in the ribs. I touch the spot. “This little guy just confirmed it.”

“Is he kicking?”

I nod. “Want to feel?”

She contemplates it for a second, and suddenly I’m sure that whatever she does next may impact our entire future. She holds up a hand. “Can I?”

I scoot closer and show her where to put her hand. “Here.”

Slowly and carefully, like she’s not sure she wants to, she puts her hand lightly on the spot. I smile when he kicks.

Bug looks up, open-mouthed and awestruck. “Oh my god, do they do that a lot?”

I chuckle. “All the time. It’s becoming harder for me to sleep with all the somersaults they do in there.”

“Is she moving too?”

I take her hand and move it to the girl baby. “Give her a little poke and she might.”

She gently taps.

“Really poke her. Like this.” I depress the skin over my lower belly a few times.

Darla follows suit then freezes. “I can actually see her moving under your clothes.”

“Oh, that’s nothing.” I lift my shirt and push down my waistband.

She stares at my stomach, both twins fully awake now and kicking in different directions. Her eyes are wide as she watches the show, then she puts her hands back on my stomach. “Do you ever feel like you’re in that movie, Alien , and something is going to pop out of your stomach and eat you?”

I smile at the absurdity. I smile because it’s the funniest thing she’s ever said to me.

I smile because it’s the very first time she’s spoken more than a few words to me without animosity, hostility, or disrespect.

But mostly, I smile because we’re sitting here sharing a moment I hope will be as memorable for her as I know it will be for me.

She looks up. “You’re naming him after your son, not your dad, aren’t you?”

“Christopher was named after my dad. But, yes, this little guy’s name will be after his.”

“What do you think about Christina?”

“Who’s Christina?”

“I mean for a name. Christina is kind of like Christopher.”

My heart leaps. I hold back tears so as not to seem like an over-emotional hormonal pregnant lady. “I think Christina is a beautiful name. And I know Christopher would approve.”

Her hands are no longer on my belly, but she lowers her head. “Hey, Christina.” She narrows her eyes at me. “What’s his name going to be?”

I shrug. “Don’t know, your dad hasn’t told me yet.”

“He should consider Alex.”

I raise a brow. I’m guessing it would be a tribute to Marti’s daughter who died as an infant. But she might think differently if she knew Alexandra is my real name.

When I don’t say anything, she elaborates. “It kind of makes sense. That way he’d be named after your son, your father, my cousin… and you.”

My eyes snap to hers. “Me?”

“Alexandra, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Christina and Alex Anderson. Cool names, don’t you think?”

I try not to smile too broadly. “I’m on board. But you have to ask your dad, and more importantly, your aunt.”

“I’m not about to ask my dad anything right now. I feel like I’m going to be grounded until the end of time and anything I ask for will be immediately dismissed.”

“Maybe you’re right. Give it a few days. He might be super mad right now, but it’s only because of how much he loves you.”

She pulls her knees to her chest. “And you? Are you mad?”

I rein in my emotions, because I know exactly what she’s asking. “Yes, Darla. I’m steaming mad.” I wink at her and get off the bed. “I also have to pee before one of these babies kicks my bladder again and I burst all over your bed.”

She laughs. Laughs!

At the door, I turn. “Are we good?”

She nods and I smile.

I’m almost through the door when she says, “Allie?”

“Mmm?” I look at her over my shoulder.

“You can call me Bug.”