Page 20 of Tiny Precious Secrets (The Brothers of Calloway Creek The Montanas #4)

“He lived for thirty-one hours and eighteen minutes.” She bellows out a sob. “And then he just looked up at me. Just for a second, he looked at me like he knew me. Like he knew I was his mom and that I loved him. Then he fell asleep and he was gone. He was just… gone.”

I squeeze her tightly and she clutches onto me like I’m saving her from drowning. I kiss the side of her head, letting her distress settle, when it occurs to me that she was nineteen—the same age she was when she said she was in Australia.

“You never went to Australia, did you?”

Her head shakes against my shoulder. “It was the only way to explain why I was away for so long.”

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m so incredibly sorry.”

She sighs and sniffs a few times. She’s not trembling as much as she was a few minutes ago.

“My mom was out getting food. It was just me and Christopher. And even though they prepared me… They prepared me from the day I had the blood test and found out his fate. Even knowing what was going to happen and how, it still destroyed me.” I feel her hand cradle her small belly.

“I can’t… I just can’t go through it again. ”

That’s when it hits me. Oh, Jesus . Is that same thing going to happen to this baby? Our baby?

“Allie,” I say, my voice cracking. “What was wrong with Christopher?”

“It was a chromosomal abnormality called Trisomy 18.”

The urge to pull out my phone and research it is strong.

My need to comfort her is stronger.

“Allie?” I close my eyes and force out the words. “Does this baby have the same thing?”

“I don’t know.” Her body trembles against mine.

“I mean, the doctor said no, but he wants to see me and go over the results. That means something is wrong. Not that , but something else. I’m scared.

Asher, I’m so, so scared. I can’t do it again.

I’m not strong enough. I didn’t want you to know.

Not until I was sure. I couldn’t put you through it.

Jason left. He couldn’t handle it. Nobody should have to.

I just couldn’t tell you, not until I knew. ”

I turn her until she’s fully facing me. “Slow down. You had some kind of test?”

She nods.

“A test for this Trisomy thing?”

She nods again.

“And the baby doesn’t have it?”

“No. Not that. But, Asher, the doctor wants to see me. In person. Today. He wouldn’t go over the results on the phone. Everyone knows that means bad news.”

All at once, my anger and confusion start to abate.

I’m still upset that she’s gone through this alone.

I’m sad that she didn’t trust me enough to tell me and allow me to support her through it.

But I do understand. As a father, I understand how devastating it must have been to watch your own child die right before your eyes.

And as a father, I also understand the need to protect those I love from that kind of despair.

Instantly, I have to know the answer to a question totally unrelated to our baby.

I take her face in my hands. “Allie, I love you. I think I’ve loved you since the day we met. Before that even. And I have to know. Do you… love me?”

She has a hard time answering. But she does nod. And it’s all the affirmation I need. My lips instantly find hers. I kiss her salty lips with a chaste kiss that has more meaning than any other kiss has ever had in my entire life.

“I love you. And whatever happens, we’ll deal with it. We’ll get through it. There are rules doctors need to follow. Maybe he has to tell you in person. You know, bring you in for a visit so they can bill your insurance.”

She shakes her head. “Not this doctor. He’s Mia’s cousin. He took my blood at her autobody shop. I know he would have told me if the results were normal. He did tell me about the Trisomy 18 at least.”

I kiss her forehead. “When is your appointment?”

“He said come anytime today and he’d fit me in.”

I blow out a deep sigh. I don’t want her to feel my own tension, but I think she’s onto something.

Him being a family friend but not wanting to give her the full results over the phone.

Telling her she can come in any time. That doesn’t sound like something a doctor would say if everything is okay.

It sounds like what you do when there’s bad news to deliver.

“What time does the office open?”

She shrugs, and I sit up and check the time. It’s seven. I urge her up. “Take a shower. I’ll make breakfast and cancel my day. We’re going to be his very first appointment.”

She cocks her head. “You want to go with me?”

“Sweetheart, I’m going to be with you every goddamn step of the way.”

Her lips momentarily curve into a half-smile, but then fall back into a frown.

Usually when two people declare their love for each other there are kisses, flowers, sex, champagne, and celebration. I can’t think of a single other scenario but the one we’re in right now that would have us crying instead of laughing.

But she loves me. And right this second, when there’s nothing I can do about anything else, that’s the only thing that matters in the world.

She. Loves. Me.