Page 16 of Tiny Precious Secrets (The Brothers of Calloway Creek The Montanas #4)
Asher
I’m forty years old. I shouldn’t have to play games. So why am I letting her play me? If she’s going to end this, she should be mature enough to come right out and say it.
I haven’t seen her since Antigua. Since the night she said maybe this was getting too complicated but then slept with me anyway. Was that goodbye?
I swore the next time we saw each other I would tell her how I really feel about her. But maybe I waited too long. Or perhaps I misread her the entire time and she was never that into me.
Twice now, I’ve been to New York City, and twice she’s come up with excuses why she couldn’t meet me. Granted, each visit was only for three days and two nights. Should I really expect her to drop everything on a whim and rearrange her entire schedule to see me?
But the thing is—I’m pretty sure that’s what she did for the previous sixteen months.
Maybe my daughter got to be too much for her. I get that her adolescent antics threw a wrench into our plans. And yes, it’s something we’ll have to deal with if we move forward. But to ghost me because of my kid?
She hasn’t exactly ghosted me. She does reply when I text her. It’s just not the playful responses I usually get. The anticipatory winky faces. The sexy innuendos.
There are just so many things I want to tell her. Things I can only tell her in person. I never told her that when we first met, I had this incredible sense of déjà vu, like we’d met before. Like maybe it was kismet and we were meant to be together.
I never told her because I knew it would scare her away.
She’s this incredible, strong, independent woman on the outside, but on the inside, it’s like she’s battling demons.
Demons she won’t let anyone see. And those demons keep her from showing her true self.
They won’t let her give as much of her as I need. They hold her hostage.
It very well could be that I’m not the right man for her. The right man would be able to slay those demons. The right man could protect her from them. Fuck . I want to be that guy.
So, yes, I’m going to let her continue to play me until I have my say.
Until I can be face-to-face with her and tell her everything I’ve kept bottled up for well over a year.
Because I swear that’s how long I’ve loved her.
Even when I didn’t think I did, I did. It’s so goddamn cliché.
Hell, songs have been written about it. But I truly believe I loved her even before I met her.
I scrub a hand across my face. Jesus, Ash, get it together . I hit the bathroom and splash water on my face just as Bug bursts through the front door, tosses her backpack across the room, and runs into her bedroom.
“Hello to you too,” I yell.
“Whatever. My life is over.”
I stand in her doorway, prepared to hear how a boy has broken her heart. She’s thirteen. It was bound to happen sooner or later. “Want to talk about it?”
“No.” She buries her head in a pillow and screams.
I don’t say anything. I just stand here wondering what Marti would do.
She kicks off her shoes, which doesn’t look easy considering she’s lying face-down. Finally she says, “I want to change schools.”
This is when I know something huge happened. Was she humiliated in front of a boy? In front of a class? I pull out her desk chair and sit, facing her. “Okay. I guess we could consider it. But there’s only a month left, why not stick it out?”
“I mean change high schools, Dad.”
“High school? Why would you want to change high schools when you’ve never even been to the one you’ll go to in the fall?”
“Because I’ll be a freak. I won’t have any friends. Everyone else I know will go there with their group of friends. And they’ll all laugh because I won’t have anyone.”
I move to sit on the edge of her bed. “Sweetie, did you and Mel have a fight? Is that what this is? I’m sure whatever it is will blow over.”
“We didn’t have a fight.”
I brush her hair aside to see if her face will give me a clue. Because I’m confused. “Bug, I know I don’t speak teenager, but you’re going to have to explain. If you didn’t have a fight, then you will have a friend in high school, so why—”
“She’s moving.” She sits up and throws her pillow angrily across the room.
“My best friend since birth is fucking moving.” She looks up sheepishly.
“Sorry, I know I shouldn’t say that. But Dad, this is so bad.
She’s abandoning me when I need her the most.” She’s back on her stomach, head down.
“I’m in my formative years. What am I going to do without her?
I’ll be a loser with no friends, and she’ll be all the way across the country.
I’ll be alone. Alone and in high school.
I’ll probably turn to drugs and alcohol. ”
I decide to cut her a break on the cursing. After all, this is about as bad as it gets. First Marti and Charlie move away, now Mel. I can hardly blame her for her choice of words.
“Ah, Bug. I’m so sorry. How far away?”
“Her dad got some big promotion. Some stupid state like Oregon.”
I want to comfort her, but as soon as she says Oregon, my mind goes back to that haunting day years ago. And for the millionth time over the past ten years, I wonder what happened to that girl. The sad girl on the bridge. The one I scared away.
“You’ll make new friends.” I pat her reassuringly. “Your high school will get kids from more than just your middle school. Surely there will be other kids just like you. Maybe someone who just moved here.”
“Yeah, but at least they have an excuse. That’s why I need to change high schools.
If I go to one that has nothing to do with my school now, it’s expected that I won’t have friends.
Can we move? Mel said I should ask you to move to Winter Springs or something.
They have good schools there and nobody will know me.
” Her eyes light up like she has the best idea ever.
“Oh my god, we should move to Oregon. You don’t have to be here for your job.
You can live anywhere. Especially now that Aunt Marti and Charlie are gone. Dad, can we?”
“Whoa. You’re getting way ahead of yourself, Bug.
I own a house. We can’t just up and move.
Listen, you have a month left of school and then we’ll have the whole summer to figure this out.
Can’t you apply for programs at a high school out of our district?
Like if you wanted to do ROTC and your school didn’t offer it? ”
Her eyes roll. “ROTC. Really? You see me carrying a gun and getting up at the crack of dawn for drills?”
I ruffle her hair. “It was an example. Give me a break, kid. I couldn’t think of anything better. Okay, theater. Business.” I raise a brow. “IT security?”
“She’s my best friend in the whole entire world. Please please please think about it? Oregon could be cool. And there’s literally nothing keeping us here anymore.”
She’s right. There is nothing keeping us here.
But when I think of moving, Oregon is about three thousand miles away from the location that pops into my mind.
Man, for a second there, Bug’s problem took my mind off my problem.
My problem being that I’m in love with Allie Montana.
I’m in love with her and I can’t tell her.
I’m in love with her and she almost certainly doesn’t love me back.
I’m in love with her and all I can think about in this very second is putting a For Sale sign in my front yard so I can move to Calloway Creek and convince her of all the reasons we should be together.
I get up to leave.
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“You didn’t answer.”
I sigh. “I’m not saying we won’t ever move. And I’m not entirely opposed to you switching schools. But Bug, I’m not going to lie. I don’t think Oregon will ever be an option. Most of my business is on the East Coast.”
She throws her other pillow on the floor. “I knew you’d say that.”
I face her head on. “Almost everything I do in life, I do for you. I love you more than you’ll ever know. But Oregon? Sweetie, it’s just not going to happen. Now what should we make for dinner?”
She studies me, pouts for ten more seconds, then gets up and passes me on the way to the kitchen. “I’m making spaghetti. Everyone needs carbs when they’re depressed.”
I follow, knowing exactly how she feels. “We might want to make a double batch then. I’ll get the meat. And definitely some extra garlic bread.”