Page 30 of Tiny Precious Secrets (The Brothers of Calloway Creek The Montanas #4)

Allie

I’ve been grateful for work lately. It’s kept my mind off missing Asher.

I don’t know why it’s been harder and harder going without him when we’ve rarely ever been together more than a few days at a time.

But since signing the contract on the house, all I’ve been able to think about is living with him, building a future with him, maybe even marrying him.

We don’t close on the house for another few weeks, so Asher and Bug will stay at my parents’ until then. I trace my finger over the outline of the house on my laptop. I can’t stop looking at photos and dreaming of how it will be.

Still, part of me is scared. I’m just not sure how it’s going to work with Bug.

With the three of us living under the same roof.

It’s different when they’re at Montana Manor where my parents can be a buffer.

What’s it going to be like when it’s just Asher, Bug, and me eating dinner together every night?

Or… oh, Lord … when Asher travels and it’s just me and Bug.

I close my eyes. Why haven’t I thought of that until just now? He travels at least one week out of every month. The thought has anxiety gripping my insides and I feel my stomach turn.

Wait … that’s not my stomach turning.

I press a hand to my belly and concentrate hard, willing it to happen again.

When it does, tears flood my eyes. I wonder which one is moving.

Maybe they both are. Maybe they’re fighting for space in some sort of prenatal sibling rivalry.

As I bask in emotions while feeling the tiny flutters, my mind flashes forward to a hazy picture of them when they’re older.

Will she look like me? Will he resemble Asher?

Will they be as close with each other as I am with my brothers?

As Mia is with her twin, Dax? Will he protect her and always be there for her?

As much happiness as I’m feeling right now, I can’t help it when my tears turn sad. Christopher is the one who should be their protector. The big brother who would watch over both of them. He’d have been ten years old by the time the babies come. He could have held them, fed them, rocked them.

“I miss you, Christopher,” I whisper.

My mind shifts to thoughts of Darla. Is she going to be their protector? Or is she simply going to view them as an extension of me? Two more beings to be avoided. Possibly even resented.

Movement in my doorway has me wiping my eyes.

Natasha is holding a clipboard. “The Nelson wedding is this weekend. Do you want me to do it?” She looks up and takes a step inside my office. “Allie, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It’s just hormones. And no, I’ll handle the wedding myself. You’ve covered for me a lot recently and I’m going to need your help even more when these guys come.”

She leans against the doorway. “Are you planning on coming back to work after?”

My eyes snap to hers. “Of course. I can’t imagine walking away from the winery. I mean, yeah, I’ll probably cut back a bit, but I plan on being here as much as I can.”

“I’m sure your parents wouldn’t mind if you set up a couple bassinets in the corner.”

I laugh. “I imagine they wouldn’t. But I doubt I’d get much work done.”

“You should hire a nanny.”

I cock my head. “I haven’t even thought that far ahead.”

She pushes off the wall. “Well, unless you need me for anything else, I’ll head out.”

“Go ahead. I’m leaving shortly myself.”

I don’t even notice I’m smiling until she points it out. “Based on the look on your face, I’d guess today is the day Asher is moving to town?”

I nod. “Their flight lands in thirty minutes.”

“I’m really happy for you, Allie.”

The way she says it is filled with both happiness and sadness.

It’s no secret anymore how I once had and lost a baby.

After telling my doctor, family, and friends, it didn’t take long until the entire town was filled in.

Thankfully, most people have enough tact not to bring it up.

But there have been a few instances. Like when I ran into Jason’s aunt and she had the audacity to scold me for ‘running away’ and keeping her from her great nephew.

Or when that bitch Trina Sutter asked me if I even know what birth control is, this being my second accidental pregnancy and all.

“Thanks, Natasha. See you tomorrow.”

When she’s gone, I pull up the Delta flight tracker and start to get excited all over again. And apparently, I’m not the only impatient one based on the flutters I feel again inside me.

~ ~ ~

I’m waiting outside, practically bouncing from foot to foot. When I see the cab pull up, there’s not a thing in this world that could keep the monumental smile off my face.

But when I see Bug get out of the back, I realize how wrong I was.

Her face is red and puffy. She stares at the ground as she slings her backpack across one shoulder.

I want to throw my arms around Asher, but feel it would be wrong when Bug’s entire world just imploded. “Um… hi.”

Darla looks at me and I go to speak further, but she holds up a hand. “Don’t. Just don’t.” She stomps toward the front door, opens it, then disappears inside.

I turn to Asher, smiling sadly. “I’m not sure I’ve ever been so happy and sad at the same time.”

He draws me into his arms. “You took the words right out of my mouth.” He leans down to kiss me. “Hi,” he whispers just before his lips graze mine.

“Hey, you.” I squeeze his arms. “I guess I don’t have to ask how the flight was.”

His head shakes. “Bad day all around. Mel left this morning. We all stayed at the same hotel last night since both our houses had been packed up. We got Bug and Mel their own room. I’m sure they were up all night.

It was torture pulling them apart this morning and then watching the Harrell’s car pull away. ”

“I’m sorry. I know how upsetting that must have been.”

“There doesn’t seem to be anything I can do or say to make her feel better. I guess she just needs time.” He nods to the house. “She’ll probably go to bed and sleep until tomorrow.”

The cabbie clears his throat behind Asher, presumably wanting help unloading suitcases from the trunk.

I eye the four large bags. “I’m surprised these even fit back here.”

“They almost didn’t,” the irritated cabbie says, tugging one until it breaks free of the lip of the frame.

Asher shrugs, moving the suitcases aside as they’re pulled out, then he gets out his wallet and gives the guy a sizable tip.

As the cab pulls away, I grab the handle of one of the suitcases, but Asher immediately takes it from me. “Let me. They’re all heavy.”

“They do roll, Asher.”

“Allie, just let me do this. Please?”

I want to be offended—him treating me like I can’t do it just because I’m pregnant—but I kind of like this protective side of him. Still, I tease, “Are you going to treat me with kid gloves for the next nineteen weeks?”

“Baby, I’m going to treat you with kid gloves for the rest of our lives. Not because you’re pregnant, but because you’re mine.”

My swoony sigh is audible. “You’re such a romantic.”

His lips pass over mine. “Only with you, sweetheart. Now let me get these inside.” He pats my backside, urging me along.

“Fine. I’ll get dinner started. It’s just us tonight. My parents get back from their Napa Valley trip tomorrow.”

He follows me inside with two of the four suitcases then goes back for the others. But he only brings one of them into the kitchen and sets it near the stairs to my apartment.

I laugh. “Are you telling me this is your only suitcase?”

“She’s thirteen. Apparently she couldn’t live without her entire wardrobe for the next two weeks. The only clothes she allowed me to pack for the movers were her hoodies.”

I set the salad bowls down. “I can’t believe we’re moving in together in two weeks.”

He walks up next to me. “Al, we’re moving in together today .”

“I know. It’s kind of spectacular, isn’t it?”

His arms come around me. “Damn straight.” He sucks in a breath as our bodies press together and he’s reminded once again of what’s between us. He looks down. “It’s hard to believe we’re almost at the halfway point.”

“Speaking of that.” I crack a smile. “I felt a kick today.”

His eyebrows arch. “Which one was it?”

I giggle. “I have no idea.”

He drops to his knees and puts both hands on my belly.

“I doubt you’ll be able to feel it. It was super light, like little bubbles or butterfly wings. Maybe in a few weeks.”

“I can’t wait. I never got to feel Bug move in the womb.”

He stands and picks up a knife to cut some vegetables.

“Will you tell me about Bug’s mom? Wasn’t she your girlfriend? How come you never got to feel the baby move?”

“Her name was Lisa. She wasn’t my girlfriend, just a woman I dated a few times.” He narrows his eyes. “Haven’t I ever told you this story?”

I shake my head. “Not completely. All I know is that her mom didn’t want her.” I look down at the counter. “I guess when it came to talking about babies, I wasn’t very receptive, huh?”

“Understandable.” He puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “You always seemed to zone out whenever I started talking about how I came to be a single dad, or what Stella and I went through, so I just stopped bringing it up.” He kisses my temple. “I wish I’d known about Christopher.”

“I was just wondering today, earlier when I felt the kicks, what kind of big brother he’d be.”

“I’m sure he would have been their protector.”

I smile. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

I put noodles in the boiling water and listen to him tell me about becoming Darla’s dad.

“Lisa wanted to have an abortion. She only told me about the baby because she couldn’t afford to pay for one.

” He finishes with the salad and leans against the counter, crossing his feet at the ankles.

“My dad had just passed away and I was trying to figure out life with twelve-year-old Marti. It would have been so easy to just give her the money and be done with it. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

The baby was a part of me. And every time I thought about Lisa having an abortion, I’d think about my mother.

She found out she had cancer when she was pregnant with Marti.

The doctors told her she should terminate and get treatment.

She refused because she already loved the baby growing inside her.

I knew if my mom could make that kind of sacrifice, that I could handle anything. ”

My voice is thick with emotion when I say, “I think I would have loved your mom.”

He smiles. “She would have loved you too. Anyway, it took a lot of convincing to persuade Lisa to have the baby. She hated being pregnant. We were never together again romantically because she resented me. I was never close enough to her to feel I had the right to touch her or feel the baby. I wasn’t invited to any of her appointments.

I was terrified that she wasn’t taking good care of the baby or that she was drinking or worse, but the more I pressed her, the more she cut me off.

I didn’t even know she’d had Bug until a nurse at the hospital called and asked me to come in. ”

He expels a gush of air. “Lisa didn’t even stay the night.

She signed herself out against medical advice.

She gave the nurse the papers I had a lawyer draw up.

The ones naming me the father and legal guardian.

The ones rescinding her parental rights.

And then she just left. We never saw each other again. ”

My jaw is slack as I realize just how much Asher and I have in common. “So we both had a baby the other parent wanted to abort.”

“Wow, I guess we did.” He blows out a long breath. “God, how I wish your story would have turned out differently.”

I nod. “Have you told Bug about Christopher?”

“No. I figured it wasn’t my place to. If you want her to know about him, you can tell her when you feel the time is right.”

“You know, we have the anatomy scan in a few weeks. What would you think about inviting Bug to come?”

He looks surprised. “You’d do that?”

“They’re her siblings.”

Fire blazes in his eyes as he traps me against the counter. “Do you know how much I love you?”

The oven beeps and I kiss him swiftly then get the garlic bread out. We take all the food to the table. But before we eat, I make up a third plate and hand it to Asher. “You should take this to Bug in case she’s hungry.”

He gazes deep into my eyes. “Damn, I hit the jackpot with you.”

I look at him, confused.

He takes the plate. “You’re already a great mom, Al.”

As he leaves the room, I cradle my belly, savoring his words, hoping he’s right and that I can be a good mom to all of our kids.